The new episode picked up right where they'd left the Royal Capital.
The commenters were as predictable as ever. The moment Emilia appeared on screen, every other message was some variation of "waifu." And it wasn't limited to her. Rem in her maid uniform hit their sweet spots with equal force. The stream of comments calling various characters "wife" and, bewilderingly, "mommy" scrolled past in an endless parade.
Gojo rubbed his temples. "Perverts really are a universal constant."
The plot unfolded beat by beat, following his lived experience. This stretch served mostly to introduce the new cast: Roswaal, Rem, Ram, Betty. Setting aside Roswaal, every one of the girls won the audience over at visible speed. The tsundere blonde in ringlets, the sharp-tongued pink-haired maid... watching through his interface, Gojo could see their Popularity Points climbing in real time.
The rate of growth was staggering. If he hadn't banked two episodes' worth of screen time already, they might have overtaken him.
Fortunately, the false protagonist still commanded the lion's share of attention.
Beyond that, these two episodes delivered. The first major reveal was Subaru's Return by Death. When it triggered on screen for the first time, the comments erupted into strings of question marks. Nobody understood what had happened. The subsequent loops, the probing, the discoveries made along the way... the audience was hooked. No one had expected the seemingly ordinary Subaru to possess such a bizarre ability.
Roswaal's collusion with Elsa blindsided them too. Two episodes wasn't long, but the story had packed in one bombshell after another with zero filler, zero padding. The final scene landed on Gojo successfully teaching Betty Jujutsu, and the curtain dropped.
Quality had stayed high throughout. There'd been moments to showcase raw power, and Felt's introduction as a Royal Candidate planted seeds that left viewers hungry for what came next.
All of it translated directly into Popularity Points.
As the audience's perceived protagonist, Gojo held the top spot by a comfortable margin. Two more episodes in the bank, and his total had climbed to fifty thousand. The growing episode count meant a more complete story, which drew larger audiences, which accelerated point accumulation.
Beneath the episodes, a comments section had sprung to life. No longer the barren wasteland of the premiere. Reviews poured in: praise, speculation about future arcs, and the inexhaustible chorus of "husband" and "wife" directed at half the cast.
Gojo skimmed through it all. Nothing particularly interesting.
Fifty thousand Popularity Points. That's a decent pace.
The screening had chased away his drowsiness. He yawned, opened the shop, and started browsing.
Last time, nothing had been worth buying. Now should be different. Fifty thousand put him near the ceiling of the first tier's inventory. He scrolled through the listings and found two items that caught his eye.
The first was a High-purity Colorless Magic Ore.
These were exceptionally rare. Beyond storing Mana, they could serve as anchors for Spirits, the same way Emilia's necklace housed Puck during his nightly rest. Betty's situation was different from Puck's. She didn't need a stone to sleep in, but her Mana supply had always been a problem. Now that she'd awakened Cursed Energy and functioned more or less like a Yin-Attribute Cursed Spirit, Gojo wasn't sure what would happen if her Mana ran dry. Maybe the two systems were independent enough that Cursed Energy alone could sustain her. Maybe not.
Either way, having the ore meant she could stockpile surplus Mana during downtime, treating it like a rechargeable battery. Run low, pull it out, top off. Practical and straightforward.
The price was reasonable: just over twenty thousand points.
The second item was far rarer. A Divine Protection. Fifty thousand points flat, which at his current balance was steep.
Still...
The next morning, after breakfast, Gojo tracked down Rem.
"Rem, dear, any chance I could borrow a pair of scissors and a bedsheet?"
He beamed at her, the picture of innocence.
"Is the guest planning something strange?"
Rem's gaze was clear and earnest, the question entirely sincere. Ever since the incident, it wasn't only Felt who'd pegged Gojo as a chronic troublemaker. The entire household shared that assessment, the maid sisters included. The mansion's repairs still weren't finished. Craftsmen worked on the reconstruction daily. If this man caused another disaster, life would get genuinely difficult. The influx of workers had already increased the meal count. Ram, who'd previously managed to slack off now and then, had been pulled in to help Rem handle the workload. Any additional chaos and the sisters would be stretched past their limit.
"Of course not. What could I possibly do with scissors and a bedsheet?"
"Cut two eyeholes in the sheet and go around scaring people at night, for instance." She paused. "Or sneak around cutting girls' undergarments."
Her expression didn't flicker.
Gojo's mouth twitched. "I appreciate your talent for desserts, Rem, but that's going too far."
"Is the guest upset at being underestimated? Please forgive my ignorance. You must have something far more destructive in mind."
"Rem. You're aware that Felt is now a Royal Candidate, yes? If I mentioned to Roswaal that Felt's camp is short one maid, and that lending us you would secure our alliance and cooperation against rival factions... how do you think he'd respond?"
Gojo's smile didn't reach his eyes.
Rem said nothing. She turned on her heel, disappeared into a side room, and emerged moments later with scissors and a bedsheet.
"Please forgive Rem. As a maid, such negligence toward a guest is inexcusable."
The apology was so aggressively sincere that Gojo felt more unsettled than before. Something about her tone suggested she was the offended party.
"I'll be keeping a close eye on you, Rem dear. Won't miss a single opportunity."
"Please refrain from making such disturbing statements."
Supplies in hand, Gojo headed for the courtyard, dragging a chair along with him.
"Subaru! Get over here!"
Subaru, who'd been in the middle of building rapport with Emilia, wandered over.
"What's up?"
"Want to look better? Make Emilia like you more?"
His eyes lit up instantly.
"Seriously?"
"You can do that?"
"Naturally." Gojo flicked his bangs with supreme confidence.
"What do I have to do?"
Who wouldn't want to look sharper in front of the girl they liked?
"Sit." Gojo pushed him into the chair, shook out the bedsheet, and draped it around his neck.
"Uh, Gojo? Is this some kind of special technique?"
Perched on the chair, Subaru was getting a nagging sense of déjà vu.
"Sir, would you like to sign up for a membership card?" Gojo held up the scissors and snipped them twice, grinning.
"A haircut?!"
The déjà vu clicked. Subaru tried to bolt.
"You're not going to mess it up, right?"
"Relax. Trust me."
"The more confident you sound, the more terrified I get. You sound exactly like every barber who's ever ruined someone's hair."
He swallowed hard and made another attempt to stand. Gojo had anticipated the escape and pinned him firmly in place.
"Hold still. Close your eyes. It'll be over before you know it."
The scissors went to work. Snip after snip, tufts of dark hair drifting past Subaru's closed eyelids. Running was no longer an option. All he could do was pray that Gojo's confidence was warranted. Because if his hair came out looking like a disaster, he had no idea how he'd face Emilia.
The ordeal didn't last long. Less than ten minutes.
"Done. Go take a look."
Subaru opened his eyes, heart hammering. He brushed stray hairs from his face. "It's really okay? It's not hideous?"
"Impossible. This suits you perfectly. Trust my taste."
"Gojo, what are you two doing?"
Subaru untied the bedsheet, about to head inside to find a mirror, when he looked up to find Puck and Emilia walking toward them.
Panic seized him. He grabbed the sheet and tried to throw it over his head before Emilia could see.
"I gave Subaru a fresh look. Come check it out." Gojo's voice carried easy pride. He clapped Subaru on the shoulder. "A man should own his appearance."
Subaru grimaced. It wasn't his own judgment he doubted. It was Gojo's craftsmanship.
But what was done was done. He lowered the sheet, head drooping, unable to meet Emilia's eyes.
"Oh! It suits you, Subaru. I thought Gojo was just messing around." Puck zipped over, pressed a tiny paw under Subaru's chin to tilt his face up, and studied him carefully. "Much cleaner. It works."
"It does look nice. Much more refreshing." Emilia nodded in agreement.
The praise hit like sunlight. Subaru's head snapped up.
"Really?"
"My eye for aesthetics is impeccable, you know. Who do you think does Lia's hair?" Puck puffed out his chest, brooking no argument.
"In that case, how about I design a style for Emilia next? The results would be even better than Subaru's." Hairstyling, when it came down to it, was inseparable from the canvas. Work with someone beautiful, and the effect multiplied.
"Me?" Emilia touched her long hair, uncertain.
"Lia is not a test subject. But if you can impress me first, I suppose I wouldn't object." Puck floated over, circling Gojo with a playful grin.
"No problem. What style are you going for?"
"Something cool and fierce, obviously."
Puck scrunched his fluffy face into what was meant to be a threatening snarl. Paired with his tiny frame, the effect was the exact opposite. Nothing but pure, undiluted cuteness. Not a shred of menace.
"Hop on my arm. Up on the chair."
Seeing that Gojo wasn't even sparing Puck, Subaru forgot all about finding a mirror. He wanted to see this.
Puck positioned himself on the chair. Gojo raised the scissors and got to work, trimming the little Spirit's fur with careful precision.
"What are you doing to Betty's beloved brother?"
Betty appeared out of nowhere, alarmed at the sight of Gojo fussing over Puck with sharp objects.
"Gojo's giving Puck a makeover," Subaru explained, pointing to his own head. "Did mine first."
Betty examined his hair, eyebrows rising. Like everyone else, she hadn't expected Gojo to have this particular skill.
Puck's smaller frame meant the job went even faster than Subaru's.
"Ta-da. Finished. Emilia, what do you think?"
Gojo stepped back to admire his work, looking like a kid with a brand-new toy, all enthusiasm and satisfaction.
...
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