My mind was spinning itself a thousand thoughts. I didn't know why I was being like this. I had just met the guy today, it shouldn't matter to me if he was dating or anything. But it did.
And it hurted to know that my aunt was his.
These days a lot of younger guys date older girls. Their relationship is not surprising.
When I went downstairs Aunt was still on the couch, using her phone.
"Oh you're here." She says as she sees me approaching. She stood up and walked towards the table. Grabbing the basket....his basket.. she walks towards me. She drops the basket on the coffee table and says "pick out and eat what you want."
I look through the contents and take a choco bar.
"Umm.. aunt who gave this to you?" I drop the question, wishing hopefully she won't say the answer I don't wanna hear.
She bents forward and smiles playfully. "A GUY ."
"Oh."
"Aren't you curious, who it is?" She asks .
I shake my head, because I already know who it is.
I quickly shift the topic. Meimei has been asking me to hangout with her this weekend and I reluctantly agreed. Now I have to ask aunt for some money. No matter how sweet and carefree aunt is, she's always strict about money. "Umm ... Aunt Ruoxi, Meimei asked me to hangout with her this weekend...can you give me some money." I swallow as I wait for her reply.
She sighs , running a hand through her hair. "You know we're short on money, don't you still have some money left from last time."
Her annoyance is clear, and I simply nod at her lecture about money.
I go back to my room after that. I just lay on bed and think about stuffs. I'm human and I have my own feelings and emotions and I'm not ashamed to say I hate aunt sometimes.
Most days she tells me she has no money but I always see her ordering expensive stuffs online. She tells me I can't go out because we have no money but she always go out with her friends, exploring expensive restaurants and shopping clothes.
It hurts to hate the person who raised you. It feels like betrayal, It makes you feel bad about yourself. But I can't help it .
I'm such a bad person.
I quickly get up from bed and go to my study table. I take out my diary from my drawer and I start writing.
I write about today. I write about him. I write about everything.
My mind keeps replaying him on my mind and before I know it I've started writing a song about him. The moment I realised that I was writing a song about him, I cut it all out with my pen.
I try to throw the page away but then I realised that this were my thoughts, my feelings and that I should not throw it away
Even if it about my aunt's (might be) boyfriend.
Ok that's weird.
Whatever.
I close my diary and put it back on my drawer. I continue my day picking out outfits I'm going to wear on the outing. That's better.