The darkness was a comfort, a final blanket after a lifetime of suffering.
Aah, Sylphy, Roxy... Damn, you sure are cute as ever.
My regrets were a leaden weight in my soul, but a final, fleeting satisfaction warmed me—the knowledge that Hitogami would now taste the desperation he so richly deserved. My past self would carve a new, brighter branch on the tree of destiny, leaving my own, wretched path to wither in the annals of failure. My hell was earned, and I was ready to face it.
Then, a sound pierced the silence. A voice, frayed and distant, tugged at my consciousness.
"R.y... Ru.y... RRUDY!"
My eyes snapped open. Not to a void, but to the familiar, sun-bleached grain of a wooden ceiling. The scent of clean linen and dried herbs filled the air—a stark contrast to the cold, metallic taste of death I'd expected. Blinking away the ghosts, I turned my head.
And my breath hitched.
There she was. A vision of white hair and crimson eyes, her features etched with a concern so pure it was a physical ache. Sylphy.
My voice was a ragged scrap of sound. "Sy… Sylphy? Is that you?"
She tilted her head, a small, playful smile gracing her lips. "Of course, it's me, you silly. How did you mistaken your beautiful wife?" The lilt in her voice, the way she said "eh?" at the end—it was a melody I thought I'd forgotten.
A sob tore from my throat. I lurched forward, wrapping my arms around her and crushing her to my chest. She was real. Warm. Solid.
"Sylphy! I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" I buried my face in her shoulder, weeping like the broken child I truly was.
The tears were a floodgate, releasing decades of pent-up grief and self-loathing.
"Eh, Rudy! What's wrong!? Was it a nightmare?" Her hands, gentle and sure, rubbed slow circles on my back. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here. We're all here for you. You know that. Roxy, Eris, and I... we all love you. We know how fragile that big heart of yours can be."
My loud cries must have been a beacon. The door creaked open, and two more figures filled the doorway. Roxy, her amethyst eyes soft with sleep and immediate worry, and Eris, a sheen of sweat on her brow, her training sword probably just set aside.
Roxy didn't hesitate. She rushed to the bedside, her small frame pressing against my other side in a wordless embrace. "Oh, Rudy," she murmured, her voice like a balm. "A bad dream?"
I could only nod, my voice stolen by tears.
A nightmare I never want to remember.
Eris stood her ground, hands on her hips, but her sharp eyes held a rare, soft concern. "Hmph. Crying again, Rudeus? You're such a baby. I guess that means I can't leave you alone for a second." It was her unique, gruff way of saying,
I'm staying.
Then, a small shadow fell over the floor. A little girl with pointed ears and wide, worried eyes peered up at me. "Papa?" she whispered, her voice small. "Does your tummy hurt?"
Lucy. My daughter. The sight of her, so innocent and real, was the final anchor dragging me back to this reality, this blessed, impossible present. I managed a shaky smile, reaching out to pat her head.
"It's okay, Lucy. Papa just... had a nightmare. A really, really bad nightmare."
She considered this with a solemnity beyond her years, then nodded and scurried to her mother's side. And as I sat there, surrounded by my wife, my wives, and my child, their warmth seeped into my bones, chasing away the last vestiges of the cold. This was no dream. This was my life. And I would burn the world before I lost it again.
====x====
The aromas of a home-cooked feast still hung in the air, a stark contrast to the storm raging inside me. Seated at the dinner table, the clatter of plates and the warm murmur of voices felt like a beautiful, fragile dream. I clutched my fork, my knuckles white, as I mentally pinched myself.
'How? How am I here?'
In my home, with the fire crackling and every chair filled. Sylphie's laughter, Eris's booming voice, Roxy's quiet smile—it was a symphony of everything I'd lost. This wasn't just a dream; it was a meticulously crafted paradise. A part of me, the broken part that had known so much loss, screamed that this was an illusion, a trick of Hitogami. But the larger part, the desperate, lonely man, begged:
'If it is, please, let me never wake up.'
My eyes traced the room, drinking in the details I ached for every day. Sylphie, gently feeding our Lucy, her face radiant. Eris, animatedly debating sword stances with Norn, a piece of bread clutched in her fist like a hilt. Roxy, peeking at me over her meal, her violet eyes filled with a knowing tenderness. Lilia tending to my mother.
'This. This is what I fought for. What I failed. What I would die to protect.'
A soft touch on my arm shattered my reverie. "Rudy?" Sylphie's voice was a gentle melody. "You look a million miles away. Do you have something you need to do?"
The question was a crack in the perfect facade. "No," I whispered, the word thick with desperation.
"There's nothing. Nothing at all. Sylphie, I... I want to stay." The plea was raw, stripped bare. 'Why would I ever leave? This is everything. Everything I've ever wanted.'
Her smile was heartbreakingly sad. "I know, my love. And we love having you here. But... you can't stay. If you do, you'll regret it forever. We can't bear to see you live with that regret."
Panic, cold and sharp, seized me. "No! Please! I don't care about regret! I don't care if this is a dream! Don't ask me to leave my family again!"
The world exploded.
A swoosh of air, a blinding impact that cracked against my cheekbone. The world tilted, wood splintered, and I was weightless, crashing through the wall and landing in a heap on the cold grass of the backyard. Pain, bright and hot, bloomed across my face. There was only one person.
Eris stood in the wreckage of the wall, her silhouette framed by the warm light of the dining room, her fists clenched and her eyes blazing with familiar, ferocious love. "ENOUGH!" she roared, her voice echoing in the quiet night.
"You stubborn fool! You think clinging to this ghost will bring us back? You think leaving means we disappear?"
"IT DOES!" I yelled back, pushing myself up, my voice cracking. "If I walk away from this, I lose you all over again! I can't do it! I don't want it!"
From the doorway, my family watched, their faces etched with a profound sadness. It was Roxy who spoke next, her voice calm but firm, cutting through my hysteria. "The Rudeus I love," she said, "Never gave up. He always found a way to move forward, no matter how hard it hurt."
"But I don't want to!" I sobbed, the dam finally breaking. "I can't lose you. Not any of you again."
Then Sylphie was there, her gaze piercing my soul. "Did you ever truly believe we left you? Or did you leave us behind in your heart? You were so busy staring at the graves behind you that you forgot we were always walking beside you."
The truth of her words hit me like a physical blow. I saw it all—my self-pity, my neglect of Sylphy and Lucy, my blinded rage that cost Eris her life. I had been the one who abandoned them, long after they were gone.
Tears streamed down my face, hot and shameful. But from that pain, a resolve began to form. I stood up, wiping my face with my sleeve. A shaky laugh escaped me.
'Damn, Eris... your punches... they always find a way to hurt more than my body.' I grimace in pain.
I looked at each of them—Sylphie, my steadfast love; Roxy, my guiding star; Eris, my fierce flame; and my daughter, my greatest failure and hope. I smiled, a real, true smile for the first time.
"I understand," I said, my voice steadying. "Sylphie, I'm sorry for the man I became. Roxy, I'm sorry I was too late. Eris... I'm sorry I was too blind blinded by hatred to see your heart."
My gaze fell on Lucy. I knelt and opened my arms. "And you, my sweet Lucy. I am so, so sorry I was not the father you deserved. Can you ever forgive me?"
Her small arms wrapped around my neck. "It's okay, Papa. I know you love me. Just promise you'll be better for my little brother or sister." She spoke with pure smile.
"I promise," I whispered, linking my pinkie with hers. "On my life, I promise."
Then, I turned to Eris. "One last favour. Five more punches. I need to feel it. I need to remember." I stood with Boreas family pose I stood ready for Eris punch.
A wild, approving grin spread across her face. "Grit your teeth, Rudeus," She clutched her fist "I promise you it will hurt badly."
BAM!
The impact rocked me, a final, searing baptism of pain.
I stood again and again welcomed her fist.
'It funny… I feel really happy the pain feel like nothing.'
I embraced them all then, one last time, memorizing the feel of them, the scent of them, and the sound of their breathing.
After that I fixing myself before I walked to the front gate, my body aching but my spirit lighter than it had been in my lifetime. I turned for one final look, my voice barely a whisper. "Please... don't leave me. I know it's selfish, but... stay in my heart."
And as one, their voices rose in a chorus of love and strength, a wave to carry me on. "WE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, RUDEUS! NOW GO! HAVE A GREAT JOURNEY!"
I held my tears at bay, gifting them one last, warm, genuine smile.
"I love you all," I said.
Then I turned, and for the first time, I walked forward without a single glance back.
====x====
The world around me blurred as I walked forward—step after step—into an endless expanse of shifting shadows. The air thickened, the light dimmed, and soon, everything melted into a deep, suffocating peach-colored darkness.
Then, in the void, she appeared.
A lone figure stood not far ahead, her presence cutting through the abyss like a beacon. A girl—no, a teenage girl with twin golden tails cascading down her shoulders, crowned like royalty. Her crimson eyes burned like embers, radiating warmth, yet her smile held something… ancient.
"Hmph! Took you long enough!" she huffed, puffing her cheeks as she crossed her arms. "I've been waiting forever, you know. But… I get it. Goodbyes are hard thig to say for every mortal."
'Mortal don't tell me that.'
I swallowed hard. My pulse thrummed in my ears.
"Who… are you?" I asked, my voice steady but laced with quiet urgency. "Was it you who showed me that dream?"
She tilted her head, her grin widening. "Mhm! I did. Did you like it?"
A knot loosened in my chest. "Yes. More than I can say." I bowed deeply, my gratitude spilling out. "Thank you… whoever you are."
"Good, good! I'm glad you liked it, Heem~" she chimed, swaying playfully.
Then—her demeanor shifted.
In an instant, the warmth in her eyes hardened. She struck a pose—one hand resting on her wrist, the other pressed against her chest—as if declaring her dominion.
"I am Ereshkigal," she announced, her voice resonating with divine authority. "Goddess of the Underworld. And you, Rudeus, stand in my domain, awaiting final judgment."
As the words left her lips, the darkness shattered.
Blue flames erupted around us, caged within spectral birdcages, casting an eerie glow over a barren wasteland of cracked earth and an endless void of black sky.
"So… I really am dead."
She smirked. "You're taking this rather well. Then again…" Her gaze turned knowing. "This isn't your first time, is it?"
I exhaled sharply. "No. But that doesn't mean I'm not afraid. My second life… was full of sins."
Ereshkigal nodded. "Oh, I've seen everything." A teasing lilt entered her voice. "You were quite the pervert, weren't you? Fufu~"
Heat rushed to my face.
"But," she continued, waving a hand dismissively, "Compared to the other gods I know? You're practically a saint."
'Other gods?'
"Yes, other gods," she answered—before I even spoke.
'She can read my mind?!'
"Of course I can!" She puffed up proudly. "I am Ereshkigal, Ruler of the Underworld!"
I sighed.
'Right. Stupid question.'
"Ereshkigal-sama… what judgment awaits me?"
A pause. My stomach twisted.
'Will it be hell?'
"Hell?" She blinked, then laughed—a light, almost musical sound. "Ah, that mortal concept of eternal punishment! How creative. No, Rudeus, hell as you imagine it doesn't exist here."
"It… doesn't?"
"If a god wishes to torment a soul, they can," she mused. "But eternity? Only if you truly anger one of us."
Relief washed over me—until her expression darkened.
"However…" Her voice dropped, solemn. "Your life was manipulated. Your fate toyed with."
A cold realization gripped me.
'That god.'
That smug, laughing face—Hitogami. His mocking grin, his schemes that tore my family apart—it all surged back, a firestorm of hatred burning in my chest.
Ereshkigal's eyes gleamed with understanding. "I see it all. That worm twisted your destiny. If my realm were connected to his, my dear sister-goddess would have crushed him where he stood."
"Wait—'not connected'?" My breath hitched. "This… isn't the same world I was reborn into?"
"No." She shook her head. "Your soul drifted here, bound by unfinished summons. Until that purpose is fulfilled… you cannot truly move on."
My hands clenched.
'Of course. It made sense now. I had never known who summoned me—or Nanahoshi. The Dragon Race's magic, Laplace's interference?… no speculation was pointless without answers.'
A single, desperate question tore from my lips:
"Then… why am I here?"
Ereshkigal's gaze softened—almost pitying.
"I don't know."
Her words hung in the air, heavy with finality.
"But if the bonds on your soul remain unbroken… you may never fully disappear, Rudeus."
End
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