I tried to ignore the soreness in my lower belly as I turned the pages of the book. But the words wouldn't stay in my head.
Last night, we had been together many times.
Since one encounter alone didn't guarantee pregnancy, I didn't push him away when he came to me again and again.
It was a blind, reckless night—like moths diving into a flame.
At sometimes, I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I might faint, and I wanted to cling to something, anything. But the one thing I refused to do was cling to him.
That was my last pride: even if I gave him my body, I would never open my heart.
Ironically, that only seemed to excite him more.
Yet he was always the same during those moments—acting as if I was the only one in the world. Demanding that I look only at him, hold him tighter… stubborn and insistent.
And strangely enough, it was only while we were together that I could forget everything and feel at ease. I told myself it was just a formal, calculated act, but when he held me, even that thought vanished. Everything was too intense, too consuming.
But when morning came, and I looked at the messy bed, reality returned.
I couldn't forget what last night had been for, or what kind of relationship he and I truly had.
Closing the book, I sighed.
Could one night really be enough for pregnancy?
Did last night create a child? Or not?
If there was no child, then what did last night even mean?
Could I really say it was only for my purpose, just because I didn't cling to him or call his name?
Was I truly thinking only of my goal as I spent that long night with him?
My thoughts tangled—then a cough interrupted.
I looked up to see Kallion standing there.
I was the one surprised, but he stiffened, avoided my eyes, and asked awkwardly,
"Uh… are you feeling alright?"
I blinked. Alright? When did I ever say I was unwell?
As I stared at him wide-eyed, he coughed again, fumbling as if trying to say something, then rubbed his face with a complicated expression.
Just then, the butler, Altis, entered with a knock.
"Kallion, the Highland lord, has sent an invitation."
Kallion frowned slightly and took the letter.
"He wishes to invite you both to dinner this evening," Altis explained kindly.
Though he'd already explained, Kallion kept staring at the letter for a while, then glanced at me, almost as if gauging my reaction.
I frowned in confusion, which he seemed to take another way. Turning to Altis, he said flatly,
"I don't think I can attend tonight."
Altis blinked. "Shall I… decline the invitation?"
That would cause tension with the Highland family, an influential vassal house. Altis looked worried.
So I spoke up instead.
"Is there really any need to refuse?"
Felix, the Highland lord, held a strong influence among the vassals. Surely he knew many secrets I didn't. It would be foolish to miss this chance.
Kallion looked at me carefully. "Are you sure… you're alright with this?"
Did he think I would feel uncomfortable because many nobles disliked me? That was nothing new. What mattered more was finding clues about who was behind Denian's attack.
"Of course," I answered curtly.
Kallion sighed faintly, then nodded to Altis.
"Send our acceptance."
***
Later that evening…
The Highland estate wasn't far from Dallot. Their land was vast compared to ours, and they had always been Valdormer's loyal vassals.
As the carriage arrived, Kallion stepped down first and reached out for me. This time, though, he didn't just offer his hand—he wrapped his arm around my waist as if I might stumble, practically lifting me down.
"Watch your step," he said softly.
It was so overprotective, it embarrassed me—like I was a child who couldn't walk properly. The Highland couple waiting at the entrance looked equally surprised.
"Ah, you've arrived. We've been waiting," Felix greeted warmly.
"My, the two of you look so lovely together," his wife added.
I forced a smile. But even as we walked inside, Kallion fussed over me, watching my every step.
Why is he acting like this…?
Inside, Felix led us to the dining hall. A maid guided us to the central seats of the long table. Even there, Kallion personally pulled out my chair before I sat, startling the servant who was about to do it.
Felix chuckled awkwardly. "You take such good care of your wife, Kallion. It's admirable."
His wife quickly followed with her own words, turning to me.
"Madam, I must apologize for my rudeness last time. I assure you, I never meant any harm. Please forgive me."
She was referring to the day the noblewomen had been invited to Valdormer estate, when she had insulted me. But there was no reason to dwell on it now.
"Of course," I said calmly. "I believe you had no ill intent."
Though she froze for a moment, she quickly laughed lightly to smooth things over.
Dinner began. As expected in the south, the dishes were all seafood—shrimp, crab, lobster, and shellfish.
Everything was going smoothly until I grimaced and bit into a shrimp.
"Ah…!"
Kallion immediately noticed. "What is it? Are you unwell?"
Everyone turned to look at me. Startled by his overreaction, I waved my hand.
"No, it's nothing—"
"Perhaps we should return home," he pressed.
"No!" I quickly cut him off. "It was just sand in the shrimp."
Relieved, Kallion straightened up, embarrassed.
"Oh dear, it seems it wasn't cleaned properly. I'll warn the cook," Felix said apologetically.
"That won't be necessary," I answered calmly.
But then Lady Highland smiled slyly and spoke,
"Seeing how close you two are, I imagine we'll hear good news soon."
"…Good news?" I repeated.
"A child, of course," she said with a knowing smile.
I froze, spoon in hand.
"You're both still young—it's only a matter of time, isn't it?" she added brightly.
Felix frowned and muttered at her not to say such things, but she ignored him.
"If a child were born between you two, wouldn't it mark a new age of peace between Valdormer and Heister? Hohoho!"
At that moment, Kallion slammed his knife down on the table with a loud clang.
"That's enough talk about children."