Kallion stood in his office, staring blankly out the window at Yuliana, who was in the garden holding Denian.
No matter how much he tried, he couldn't bring himself to kill his own newborn child.
Many times, he thought how much easier it would be if he could return to a time before Denian was ever born.
After countless regressions, Kallion's emotions had worn thin. All that remained was his obsessive determination to keep Yuliana alive.
As he stared, Yuliana happened to lift her head and glance toward his office window.
Afraid their eyes might meet, Kallion quickly turned away coldly.
From his 39th regression, he had learned something important:
The closer and warmer he acted toward Yuliana, the more the Imperial family feared that a child like Denian would be born—and so they sent assassins earlier.
To delay that timing, Kallion purposely acted indifferent and cold toward Yuliana.
Just like in his very first life, when he distrusted and resented her.
This way, she would find nothing unusual in his behavior.
But there was one time when Kallion couldn't hide his emotions.
At night, in the quiet darkness lit only by moonlight, the bed creaked violently.
"Yuliana…"
"Kallion!"
His eyes clouded with desire and pain, Kallion threw himself at her desperately.
By day he was cold as ice, but by night he clung to her as if he would die without her.
He buried his face in her skin like a suffocating beast struggling to breathe.
Yuliana was confused by this double nature, but she also held on to hope—maybe, if they stayed close like this, someday his heart would match hers.
But she was wrong.
Kallion had already loved her with blind devotion for what felt like eternity, through countless lifetimes.
This time, however, he could not afford to lose her.
So when morning came, he returned to his cold, harsh self—making the night feel like a fleeting illusion.
Then the fated night arrived.
When assassins came for Denian, Kallion purposely kept Yuliana locked in his bedroom.
"Kallion, can't I at least check on Denian?" she asked timidly.
Kallion pinned her beneath his large frame and answered coldly:
"Not tonight."
Then he consumed her with his body, leaving her no room to think of anything else.
Unaware of his true intentions, Yuliana surrendered to his relentless passion.
Every lifetime, Yuliana had died trying to protect Denian.
But if Denian wasn't there… maybe she could live.
If this could keep her alive at his side, he was willing to do anything.
Even if heaven punished him for betraying his duty as a father.
Even if the devil dragged him to hell for it.
As long as she lived, nothing else mattered.
The next day, Kallion awoke to find her side of the bed empty.
Moments later, the anguished screams of a mother who had lost her child echoed through the estate.
Kallion's chest was torn apart hearing Yuliana's wails, even though he had prepared himself for this.
Her voice felt like his soul being ripped to pieces.
But he convinced himself: one day, she would understand.
Even without the child, they could still be happy together.
Because she loved him.
Yet for now, all he could do was watch her cry in unbearable pain.
"Denian was murdered, Kallion! Our son was killed!" she sobbed, clinging to him.
But he pushed her away coldly.
"Don't say such things without proof, Yuliana."
One day, she would accept it.
One day, she would realize this was for her sake.
Yuliana couldn't even attend Denian's funeral; she wasn't in any state to.
While the ceremony took place, Kallion stood motionless, his face blank, like a soulless doll.
The skies wept heavily in their place.
When everyone else had left, Kallion remained alone at the grave.
He touched the wet tombstone with his hand, his eyes sinking into a dark abyss.
"Don't forgive me… Once I've saved her, I'll follow you soon after."
Rain, or perhaps tears, streamed endlessly down his face.
But Kallion had overlooked something.
The fragile woman he thought he had to protect… began investigating who killed Denian.
She, who had always seemed so timid, had become relentless—and this he never expected.
If she continued, the Imperial family itself might take notice.
To stop her, Kallion locked her away in her room.
"Let me out! Kallion, you bastard! Let me out!!"
No matter what she thought of him, he believed this was the only way to keep her alive.
But he was terribly wrong.
When he found her lifeless body in that locked room, a bloody knife in her hand… Kallion crumbled.
"…Why… Why did you…?"
Tears streamed as he clutched her cold body.
"How do I save you? Tell me, Yuliana… Tell me…"
Lost and broken, he took the bloodstained knife from her hand.
His eyes never left her face as he pressed the blade to his own throat.
Death had become familiar to him.
And so, he followed her once again.
Some time later, Kallion swallowed painkillers from his desk drawer.
"This is… the 40th regression. Or was it the 41st? 42nd?"
The number no longer mattered.
All that mattered was saving Yuliana this time.
He pushed aside the constant headaches and walked out of his office, heading to Yuliana's room—where she should be giving birth to Denian.
But something was different.
The halls were eerily quiet.
No maids rushing about. No cries of labor. No doctor's voice.
His steps quickened until he reached her door.
But inside, there was nothing.
No Yuliana. No signs of childbirth. Only neat, unused furniture, as if no one had ever lived there.
Kallion staggered back in disbelief.
Just then, the butler Cliff came down the hall and noticed his strange state.
"What's wrong, Lord Kallion?"
Still staring blankly into the empty room, Kallion whispered:
"Yuliana… Where is Yuliana?"
Cliff blinked, confused.
"Yuliana? Who is that?"
Kallion turned toward him in shock.
Cliff hesitated, then bowed slightly.
"Ah, now that I think about it, I recall a child of House Heister with that name… Why do you ask about her?"
That woman…?
Never in any of his countless regressions had this happened.
"What day is it today?" Kallion asked.
"February 25th, my lord," Cliff replied.
The day Denian should have been born.
But why was everything different?
"…Have I ever been married?" Kallion asked one last time.
Cliff frowned, tilting his head.
"If you had married, Lord Darkin and I would both be relieved."
At those words, Kallion froze.
He had never married Yuliana.