Stain lunged.
To any other student, it would have been a death sentence to provoke the Hero Killer. To Haruto, it was just Tuesday.
Haruto pivoted on his heel. The tip of Stain's katana whistled past his face. He ducked another horizontal slash that sparked against the brickwork.
'He's fast' Stain thought, his eyes narrowing.
You're surprisingly light on your feet for a man carrying that much edge, Stainy!" Haruto chirped, backflipping over a thrown dagger.
Stain lunged again, a low sweep aimed at the legs.
Haruto hopped over the blade. "Stainy! Your slashes lack a bit of conviction"
Stain's eyes flared with a murderous intensity. He wanted to silence the mockery.
He threw three daggers in quick succession, forcing Haruto into a bottleneck. As Haruto twisted mid-air to avoid the projectiles, Stain was already there, closing the gap.
A pinpoint thrust. The Katana aimed at Haruto's right shoulder.
SHINK.
The blade dove deep, the steel biting through the flesh. Haruto's back slammed into the brick wall. For a moment, the alley went silent, the only sound being the slide of metal into meat.
"Not laughing now, boy?" Stain hissed, leaning in to retract the blade for a finishing blow.
But the blade didn't move.
Haruto's hand snapped up, his fingers locking around Stain's wrist. He was grinning.
"Going somewhere?" Haruto chirped.
"The party's just getting started! Don't be a 'hit and run' antagonist, Stainy."
Before Stain could process the lack of fear, Haruto's leg coiled and snapped forward.
A brutal knee kick caught Stain square in the abdomen. The sheer force of the impact sent the Hero Killer hurtling backward, his boots skidding across the ground.
But at the last possible millisecond, as he was being launched back, Stain's instinct took over. His fingers flicked a hidden knife, the tip grazing Haruto's cheek. It was a shallow cut, but enough to draw a bead of blood.
Stain tumbled, recovering into a low crouch twenty feet away. He looked up, his eyes widening as he saw Haruto calmly reach up to the hilt of the sword protruding from his own shoulder.
"You know," Haruto said, his hand gripping the katana, "stabbing people isn't nice, Stainy."
Haruto slowly began to pull the blade out, the sound of metal sliding against his tissue making a squelching noise.
Stain didn't wait for the boy to finish his monologue. His eyes were fixed on the crimson bead rolling down Haruto's cheek. In Stain's world, a single drop was a death sentence.
Stain held up the throwing knife he'd used to graze the boy, and brought it to his tongue flickering out to taste the blood.
"Your judgment is at hand," Stain rasped.
Haruto's eyes widened, dropping the pulled katana to the floor.
"Oh... no," Haruto whispered, his voice cracking with horror. "Wait! Stainy, don't! That's—"
Stain ignored him, he licked the blade, then waited for the paralysis to take hold.
Haruto's limbs turned stiff. His knees buckled, and he slid down the brick wall, his back scraping against the surface until he slumped into a seated position on the ground. His head lolled to the side, chin hitting his chest.
Stain stood up slowly, looming over the alley. "Justice is silent, boy. Your tongue is finally at rest."
For three seconds, the alley was deathly quiet.
Stain raised a dagger for the execution.
"Three..."
Stain paused.
"...two..."
Haruto's voice came out, muffled against his chest.
"...one."
The alley entrance exploded.
Midoriya, Todoroki, and Iida arrived in a whirlwind of green sparks, ice, and engine exhaust.
"GET AWAY FROM HIM!"
Midoriya's Full-Cowling form streaked through the air, fist cocked back. Simultaneously, a massive wave of ice surged forward from Todoroki's right side, threatening to pin Stain against the back wall. From the flank, Iida's Recipro Burst engines roared, his leg swinging, aimed at the Hero Killer's ribs.
Stain's instincts, honed by a hundred battles, screamed. He leaped backward, twisting mid-air to avoid the three-pronged assault, and landed gracefully on a dumpster.
"Perfect timing, guys!" Haruto called from his slumped position against the wall. "I was just getting bored! Stainy here doesn't appreciate good banter."
Midoriya's jaw dropped. "Haruto! You're—are you okay?!"
"Paralyzed from the neck down, Midoriya. So, you know. Tuesday. But don't worry about me. Worry about the edgelord on the dumpster."
***
The battle that followed was a mimicry of the original timeline, but sharper.
Todoroki kept his distance, Using both his sides —fire and ice— to redirect Stain's path, forcing the Hero Killer to stay within reach of the physical fighters.
Midoriya bounced off walls with 5% Full Cowling. He aimed an overhead kick at Stain's skull. Stain blocked it, the impact rattling down to his elbows.
Iida moved differently than he would have in the original timeline. His heart raced, but not with vengeful rage. He fought with duty, not hatred. His Recipro Burst kicks came fast and precise, each one forcing Stain to deflect rather than counter.
And Haruto watched from the wall, providing commentary.
"Ooh, nice ice wall, Todoroki! Keep it up"
"Iida, your left kick is dropping! Keep your guard up!"
"Midoriya! You've got him on the back foot! Now hit him with the —no, not that, the other— actually, that worked too. Nice."
Stain moved like a shadow.
He planted a foot on Todoroki's ice and launched himself at Iida. A hidden blade flicked from his sleeve, aimed at the class rep's leg.
Midoriya intercepted. His forearm took the hit instead.
"You possess the eyes of a hero, kid!" Stain roared, parrying a flurry of blows from Midoriya. "But your companions... they are still tainted by the rot of this society!"
Stain's tongue flicked toward Midoriya's blood on his blade.
He never got to lick it.
***
Stain's pupils dilated.
The world around him started to melt.
Stain's pupils dilated. The alley walls shimmered. The dumpster at the end of the alley grew, shifting, taking on a muscular frame, yellow hair, a wide smile.
"All Might..." Stain whispered.
He reached out with trembling hands.
Midoriya lowered his fists, confused. "What's... what's happening to him?"
Todoroki's eyes narrowed. "He's hallucinating."
Haruto, meanwhile, pushed himself off the wall, giggling, the paralysis has started to wear off.
He squinted at Todoroki, who was currently holding a half-formed glacier.
He approached the trio.
Haruto's eyes widened in recognition, his hand trembling as he pointed a finger.
"Your Highness?" Haruto said, stumbling toward him. "Prince Zuko? Man, you're in the wrong neighborhood! The Avatar is two blocks over, probably bothering a cabbage merchant! And where's your uncle?"
"Akagi, what are you—" Todoroki started, but Haruto was already poking at the scar on his face.
"Don't 'Akagi' me! Go restore your honor somewhere else! And tell your sister she's grounded. She's way too much of a try-hard."
Haruto spun around, nearly tripping over his own feet, and came face-to-face with Iida, whose engines were still smoking. Haruto's expression shifted from mock-royalty to professional intensity.
"Whoa... Goblin Slayer?" Haruto whispered, leaning in to inspect Iida's armor. "Man, you've really let yourself go. Why are you wearing white? And where's your small shield? Are we in a cave?"
"Akagi-kun, please, the Hero Killer is—"
"Shhh!" Haruto pressed a finger to Iida's visor. "Don't speak. Have you gone soft, Slayer? Look!"
He pointed a shaky finger at Midoriya, who was standing nearby.
"It's right there! A Prime Green Goblin! Attack it! Why are you just standing there? It's right in front of you! It's glowing with goblin energy! It's probably a shaman!"
"Haruto! It's just One For— I mean, it's just my Quirk!" Midoriya pleaded, waving his hands frantically.
"That's exactly what a goblin king would say to lower my guard!" Haruto shrieked.
He turned back to Iida, shaking him.
"Charge, you bucket-head! Strike it down before it lays eggs! Do I have to do everything myself?"
Iida stood frozen, utterly lost.
Haruto's eyes narrowed. His grip on Iida's shoulders tightened.
"Wait," Haruto said, his voice suddenly low. "Wait, wait, wait."
He leaned in closer, studying Iida's face like a detective examining a crime scene.
"Did the harem get to you, Slayer? Is that what this is?"
"The... the what?" Iida stammered.
"The harem, Slayer! All those girls throwing themselves at the dense protagonist who can't take a hint!" Haruto's voice rose with each word.
"Did you finally notice them? Did you give in?"
"I have no idea what you're—"
"Where's the density, Slayer?! Where's the thick-headed, plot-armored, 'I don't understand why she's blushing' energy that made you you?!"
Haruto released him and staggered back, pointing an accusing finger.
"You threw away the sacred trait! The dense protagonist trait! Do you know how rare that is?! And you just... what? Fell in love? Developed emotional awareness?"
He looked genuinely betrayed.
"Unforgivable. The Goblin Slayer I knew would've looked at a confession and said 'Is that a new type of goblin?' You've gone soft, Slayer."
"I am not—" Iida sputtered.
Midoriya watched the exchange, mouth opening and closing.
Haruto's head turned slowly toward the green-haired boy. His eyes widened.
"Oh no," Haruto whispered. "No, no, no."
He looked back at Iida. Then at Midoriya. Then back at Iida.
"Don't tell me..."
Iida stiffened. "Don't tell you what?"
"You took the dark path." Haruto's voice was barely audible. "You decided to give them a taste of their own medicine."
Iida's brain short-circuited. "I—what—who—"
"The goblins, Slayer! The goblins!" Haruto pointed a trembling finger at Midoriya. "You're not hunting them anymore. You're... you're..."
He couldn't even finish the sentence. He just stared, horror dawning on his face.
He staggered backward, nearly tripping over his own feet, and pointed at Iida with both hands.
"I knew you were committed, Slayer. But this?!" He shook his head slowly.
Iida stood silent, he just gave up at this point.
Haruto turned to Midoriya.
"Run, Goblin-kun."
Midoriya blinked. "What?"
"Run."
"I'm not—"
"RUN, GOBLIN!" Haruto pointed toward the alley entrance.
"He's gone to the dark side! He's not Goblin Slayer anymore, he's... he's the Goblin Layer!"
"Just so you know, the Hero Killer, is still right there." Todoroki said flatly from behind them.
Haruto staggered back, his gaze drifting toward the alleyway's "All Might" that Stain was currently whispering his darkest secrets to.
"You see it too, don't you, Master?" Stain murmured, his forehead pressed against the metal. "The world is full of ... fakes... children playing at heroism."
Then, Haruto's head snapped, his eyes locking onto the tattered form of Stain. His pupils dilated.
"Master Splinter?" Haruto whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.
"You've... you've aged, Sensei. And you've stopped wearing the robe. But I recognize the ninja aestetic anywhere! Is this the new hideout?"
Stain didn't even look at him. He was still stroking the side of the dumpster. "The world... must be purged, my lord..."
"Spoken like a true leader of the Foot Clan—wait, no, we hate those guys!" Haruto corrected himself, pointing a shaky finger at the Hero Killer.
"Master, tell me! Are the turtles safe? Does Raffaello still have anger issues? Did Michelangelo finally overdose on pepperoni?"
"Akagi, please, stop talking!" Midoriya yelled.
"Silence, Goblin!" Haruto barked at Midoriya, though his eyes were still on Stain.
"Can't you see Sensei is having a moment with the Great Trash Bin of Wisdom? Show some respect! And you!"
He spun back to Todoroki.
"Prince Zuko! Why aren't you helping? Use your fire to heat up the pizza! Master Splinter is starving!"
"I am not a goblin!" Midoriya cried out.
"That's exactly what a turtle would say!" Haruto slurred. He stumbled over to Stain and tried to pat the Hero Killer's head.
"It's okay, Sensei. I'll protect you from the lazy Prince and the Glowing Goblin. We'll find Shredder together. We'll make him pay for... whatever he did. I forgot."
Stain leaned into the touch, his brain convinced he was being blessed by All Might's hand. "The Symbol... bestows his grace upon me..."
******
"There, They shouldn't be able to move."
The trio decided it would be best to tie them up. Surprisingly, the Hero Killer was the easier one.
Stain was so deep in his All Might dumpster hallucination that he barely noticed when Iida grabbed his wrists. He just kept murmuring about justice while Midoriya looped capture tape around his chest, and Todoroki iced his legs to the ground.
Haruto, on the other hand, was a nightmare.
Even hallucinating, the boy refused to cooperate. He squirmed. He flailed his limbs . He screamed about the Foot Clan and goblins and demanded that "Prince Zuko" stop touching his "ninja aesthetic." At one point, he bit Iida's glove.
It took all three of them to get him wrapped up.
"This is the strangest fight of my life." Iida said, breathing heavily.
"You get used to it." Todoroki replied.
Midoriya stood over them, his chest heaving. He looked at his two classmates, and then at the Hero Killer.
For a single moment the chaos seemed to fade.
"We did it," Midoriya breathed, the sparks of Full Cowl flickering out. "We actually—"
The silence was broken. A screech tore through the air.
Before Iida could even shout a warning, a winged Nomu dived, Its talons clamped around Midoriya's torso.
"IZUKU!" Iida screamed.
But the boy was already gone.
To the two lunatics tied together on the ground, the narrative had just shifted again.
To Stain, a "Demon" had just tried to snatch a "True Hero" right in front of "All Might".
To Haruto, the narrative had reached peak absurdity. He saw a Giant Pigeon trying to kidnap the Goblin. And Haruto actually liked the Goblin. Sure, he was a nerd, but he was polite!
In perfect synchronization, they moved.
Haruto reached into his boot, pulling a hidden knife, while Stain's hand flicked a hidden dagger from his sleeve.
"COWABUNGA!"
"PURGE!"
They slashed, and the cables snapped simultaneously. Freed from their restraints, the two warriors launched.
They moved independently.
Haruto leaped from the left, a spinning blur of red and black, screaming,
"BULLY SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, YOU BIRD!"
Stain pushed off the opposite wall, a shadow leaping from the right, whispering,
"The darkness shall not touch the worthy."
They met the Nomu mid-air at the exact same time.
CRACK.
Haruto's knee slammed into the Nomu's brain from the left, the force of the impact sending a shockwave through the creature's skull. At the same instant, Stain's blades crossed from the right, carving through the creature's wing-joints and throat with high precision.
The Nomu didn't even have time to scream. It was effectively lobotomized and dismantled instantly.
When Haruto and Stain collided with the Nomu, the momentum of their combined assault carried the monster out of the alley and directly onto the street.
The Nomu lay dead. Standing atop the carcass were the two lunatics.
***
Then the sound of heavy boots announced the arrival of the heavy hitters. Endeavor skidded onto the scene, and beside him was Gran Torino.
There, in the middle of the street, illuminated by the orange glow of distant fires, the scene unfolded.
Stain stood in a low crouch, his blade held in a reverse grip, staring at the sky. Haruto stood beside him, swaying like a reed in the wind, his arms crossed over his chest with a look of pride.
A moment later, the Hero Killer went unconscious. He was still crouched like a monument of justice, his presence so intense that the younger heroes flinched. And right next to him, the boy in the red hoodie sprawled out like a discarded rug.
Endeavor stopped. He had come prepared for a fight, but instead, he found a teenager and the Hero Killer posing together on a dead monster like they were filming an action movie.
"Shoto," Endeavor growled, gesturing at the duo. "Explain this. What happened here?"
Todoroki stood there, he looked at Haruto, then at the "All Might" dumpster back in the alley, then back to his father. He felt an exhaustion that had nothing to do with physical exertion.
"That's Haruto Akagi," Todoroki said, his voice flat. "You probably know him from the sports festival. He's a classmate"
He paused.
"And to answer your question... We arrived to rescue him, but as to what happened afterwards...I have no idea."