Chapter 67: Peridot and the Garden of Memories (3) [COMPLETE]
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9h
16
For a moment, I felt my heart stop. I longed to find something, but finding something in a place where clearly no one should be only filled me with fear.
"Should I approach? Or perhaps keep my distance?"
I thought to myself, my feet swinging back and forth in internal conflict. Yet my heart pounded with anticipation at the thought of encountering something different in this terribly dull place.
Before I knew it, I was trying to convince myself to approach the distant figure in the darkness, even though I knew it was dangerous.
"If I stay here, nothing will change. Hours have passed, and I haven't woken up. Nothing will improve, and certainly my mental state will worsen. However, if I approach that figure, perhaps I could get some answers, even if it means taking some risk…"
Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. And I was already fed up with this place. What more did I have to lose?
"…Hello?"
With stiff legs and watchful eyes, I tried to make contact. I didn't speak particularly loudly, but in that completely empty space, my voice seemed to resonate incredibly.
The small figure trembled for a moment, then turned its face toward me.
Suddenly, emerald eyes stared at me expressionlessly. Its gaze seemed capable of reflecting all light like a mirror, and a gem rested on its forehead. A girl of similar stature, with green skin and an expressionless face, looked directly at me.
I already had an idea that it was similar to me, but getting closer made it even more unbelievable. I couldn't help but ask the first question that came to mind.
"Are you me?"
I was aware that this place wasn't truly physical, but something dreamlike. In that case, anything could happen, including my subconscious somehow taking physical form.
If that were true, was this girl a part of me? Did this place and the garden of memories still reside in my mental space? But then, where was the red figure from before? Couldn't it reach this level? And if not, why?
A flood of questions surged through my mind, and I didn't really expect an answer.
People in dreams often behaved strangely, and it was almost never worth trying to hold a conversation in a lucid dream.
[No.]
However, my "self" in this space surprisingly answered me. I felt a shiver at finally being able to have a dialogue with someone who wasn't trying to kill me or give me an existential crisis.
My lips and eyes trembled, as if I were looking at an exotic animal in the middle of a zoo. I knew this was strange, but I couldn't wait to dissect the foundations of the existence of this mental being in front of me.
Nevertheless, I restrained my out-of-control emotions with deep breaths and maintained a calm expression, trying to disguise my anticipation for good reason.
"So you are…?"
[You shouldn't be here.]
Although this figure was capable of answering questions, it didn't seem to be very patient. Its face furrowed slightly as it looked at me with irritation, cutting me off.
I ignored the rude attitude of the little gem staring at me with disdain and continued to ask:
"What do you mean?"
Even though I asked politely, the being in front of me just rolled its eyes and went back to hugging its knees, staring into nothingness.
Fortunately, she didn't keep me waiting long before responding again.
[You disappeared for a whole week.]
"What…? How is that possible?"
[I don't know. I don't care.]
"…"
For a moment, I felt a vein twitch as I watched the girl's carefree demeanor. It was as if I were dealing with a pubescent teenager in the middle of a rebellious phase. The lack of empathy and the tendency to see everything as an affront made her especially difficult to deal with.
Every word that came out of her mouth seemed perfectly calibrated to irritate.
If it weren't for the circumstances, I would have wanted to give her a good scolding.
Even so, I maintained my composure and took a deep breath.
"So, how do I get out of this place?"
[You came in and don't know how to get out?]
The little Peridot asked sarcastically, with a sideways smile and raised eyebrows, as if inviting a punch.
"Exactly. Can you show me the way out?"
The girl remained silent, looking at me with lazily furrowed brows, clearly uninterested in sympathizing with my situation. It was difficult to tell what was going through her mind, other than something rude, but finally she sighed and tapped the ground twice.
Where she tapped, a mysterious door emerged from the dark floor. From within it, a bright light emanated, so strong it could illuminate all the darkness.
My eyes widened as I finally saw something beyond the void. But before I could reach the door, my gaze fell on little Peridot, still staring into nothingness with disinterest.
"And you? Why don't you come with me?"
From this brief interaction, I had formed some ideas about the identity of this girl, or rather, this gem. It was just a hypothesis, but there was a good chance she might be the true owner of this body, or some kind of fragment of it.
I was aware of the distinct natures coexisting in my mind, and this girl might be one of them.
Her independence and demeanor supported this idea. But it was contradictory that she would help me just because I asked, without gaining anything or even showing interest in me.
More importantly, if she was capable of creating a way out, why did she choose to isolate herself here instead of taking possession of my body?
The short time I had spent here was worse than a week in that abandoned world. I couldn't imagine anyone choosing to remain in such a place of their own free will.
[Do you want me to leave?]
Little Peridot asked, with a mocking look, as if she had just heard the joke of the century.
"It's rude to answer a question with another question."
[Even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave.]
I listened to the girl's words, then looked at the door in confusion.
"You can't go through it?"
[…]
If silence could speak, it would be screaming loudly in this space right now. At least, that's what her silence was making me feel.
In that deafening silence, the familiar face of little Peridot was visible. Her hands were lightly pressed between her knees, and her gaze remained fixed on the darkness ahead, as if she were suppressing something within herself.
I looked at the lit door beside her, then back at little Peridot sitting on the floor, hugging her knees like a desolate child.
My breath caught for a moment, and something lodged in my throat at the sight of that inconsolable figure.
All I needed to do was walk out that door and live my life.
But what about her?
Unable to leave, trapped in a wretched, dark, and unstimulating place, she simply stared into the void. This was not life.
This little Peridot was trapped in an endless hell, and I was the one who served as the lock on her cell.
I felt that once I became aware of the circumstances, I could never live the same way again. I knew that the concept of children did not exist in Gem culture, but in my eyes, the girl in front of me was nothing more than a lost and lonely child with no one to comfort her.
I approached the door and touched it. It was a typical wooden door, similar to the one in the Maheswarans' house. At the top were three glass panes with rounded edges. The wood was dark and rustic, and the doorknob felt soft to the touch. For the first time, I was able to truly feel the sensation of touching it.
The faint scent of wood calmed my mind, easing the tension in my brow and lips that had stiffened with thought. I glanced briefly at the light, then closed the door.
I chose to stay.
The feelings of tension and boredom had long since left my body. All I felt were my clenched fists and stiff legs as I looked at the disinterested figure of the green-skinned girl beside me.
With light steps, I sat down beside her and looked in the same direction. The floor was slightly cold, and the view was the same endless blackness.
I quickly lost interest and turned my gaze to the emerald eyes of the girl beside me. Her eyes had no pupils. They were like mirrors, reflecting the darkness of this world. Her cheeks rested on her knees, and the air moved in and out of her nostrils steadily, without variation.
She completely ignored my gaze, but all I felt upon seeing her was deep curiosity. Empathy aside, it was the first time I had ever seen a Gem, and I could not help wanting to understand every aspect of her mind.
However, out of respect for the moment, I restrained these intrusive thoughts and chose a more peaceful approach.
"My name is Asha. And you are?"
The basis of any conversation is an introduction.
Little Peridot closed her eyes silently for a moment, as if trying to recall something. After a few seconds, she opened them and looked directly at me. I could see my nervous face reflected in her expressionless eyes.
[My name is Peridot Facet-3T6J Cut-9ZM.]
Hearing the long name, which sounded more like the designation of an electronic device, I could not help but frown. I had forgotten that part of the original series.
Generally, Gems do not have personal names. They are identified only by their type. Since each Gem shown in the cartoon was unique, this system worked well, but living in this world made me realize how flawed it truly was.
"So, Peridot, how long have you been here?"
It felt like a pointless question. After all, there was a good chance she, like me, was only a few years old. When I woke up, I was still in kindergarten. Still, I was not much of a conversationalist, and the topic did not really matter as long as it kept things going.
[Approximately 3,000 Earth years.]
But not even in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that such an unassuming question would have such a bombshell answer.
Peridot's answer made my eyes widen so much that I did not even notice the ridiculous expression on my face.
"Three... three thousand years? But how is that possible?"
Had I spent that much time on the abandoned world? No. I was almost certain it had been no more than three and a half years. I had worked day and night without rest to build an escape route, and Appraisal and Transmutation without limiters were incredibly powerful.
But considering that different planets experience time differently, perhaps I had spent far more time than I realized.
[3,000 years ago, my consciousness was generated. However, this body has existed for only 3 years since it awakened.]
"Oh... I see..."
Though my words sounded calm, I felt a sharp pain as I tried to process the information. As far as I knew, it was not normal for Gems to remain in kindergarten for so long, at most a few hundred years. But 3,000 years would explain my body size.
The longer a Gem took to emerge, the smaller its form would be. Amethyst from the original series was an example. She was the same height as Steven, a child, while others of her kind were more than twice her size.
I looked at my small hands, trembling at the realization, while little Peridot, oblivious to my state, continued speaking.
[When I awakened, I could see and hear through the projections from this space.]
Suddenly, a large screen formed in front of us. Around it, I could see rock formations shaped like Peridot's body, along with glimpses of the outside world.
Several Peridots moved about with limb enhancers attached to their arms, monitoring newly emerged Gems. The newborn Peridots were fitted with prosthetics to extend their limbs and were immediately assigned tasks, such as monitoring others, creating materials, conducting research, or writing reports.
It was as if they were born ready to work.
In the distance, a large, elegant yellow palanquin came into view, along with the silhouette of a massive diamond-shaped Gem beside a colossal yellow spaceship shaped like a giant arm.
"Yellow Diamond..."
I couldn't see clearly; a large sheet of fabric blocked any direct view of the Diamond. All I could make out was the enormous shadow of a boot and, beside it, the figure of a delicate woman.
The woman at her side was probably Yellow Pearl. Each gem had a Pearl who served as a loyal secretary and supporter. The woman's posture was rigid in the presence of the Diamond's authority, and I couldn't help but sympathize.
Even seeing only a fraction of her size, my shoulders unconsciously tensed backward, and my heart began to race. I felt an energy in my limbs urging me to lower my head and bow to that image, even if it was only a projection.
An instinct ingrained in the DNA of every gem, a reverence born from absolute trust in their authority.
The only difference was that, even as my body tried to bow, my fists remained stubbornly clenched, as if an opposing nature suppressed such behavior.
In that strange state, I looked at little Peridot. Her eyes avoided the Diamond, as if she had no right to witness such a presence. Her legs trembled as much as mine, but she seemed even more vulnerable.
She hugged her knees and looked down, avoiding any contact, as if her earlier sarcastic attitude had been nothing more than an act.
[Three thousand years ago, Yellow Diamond and her subordinates arrived at this colony. A planet in its early stages of microbial and plant life.]
The screen shifted for a few seconds and then stopped on the image of a peculiar shadow, the shadow of a tree full of leaves and life. The wind carried light leaves across the scene, bringing a sense of comfort. A small Peridot walked through the area, oblivious to the landscape, with a green screen in front of her as she monitored the site.
She observed each hole in the walls as if checking their condition. After a few seconds, Peridot turned toward us. Her finger stopped moving across the screen, and her face tightened.
The sound of footsteps echoed, and suddenly a face filled the screen. With the typical Peridot gem on her forehead and a disinterested expression, this Peridot checked the internal status using her limb enhancer, verifying the signals.
Numbers scrolled across the green screen until a red warning appeared in words I couldn't rationally decipher, yet somehow understood.
They read something like: [Defective Product] and [Unstable Energy Signals].
That explained why, a minute after the inspection, Peridot lost interest.
[I awakened earlier than any other gem. At the same time, I was the first case with a detected defect.]
The gem stepped away from the image, leaving only the shadow of the tree in view. Then day and night passed; rain filled the hole, and at some point, it was evaporated by the scorching sun.
The tree's shadow lingered for a while, but it changed. I could no longer see the leaves that once hung from its branches.
Even as a shadow, life was fading.
The branches withered, losing what little vitality remained, and a final leaf broke free, its color no longer green but a deep, lifeless black.
It drifted slowly to the ground, and the moment it touched the surface, it crumbled into dust.
The sound of injectors draining the earth filled the air as new Peridots emerged, and once again, the same tedious process repeated itself.
But this time, no shadow remained. With each passing day, life abandoned the planet, and fewer Peridots appeared on the screen. That Peridot from before was both the first seen so closely and the last.
The screen suddenly sped up; day and night blended until dots appeared in the sky. Several spaceships flew toward the horizon, including the enormous arm-shaped ship I had seen earlier.
I looked at Peridot as she watched the screen. The same image reflected in her mirrored eyes. There was no hope, no desire, not even resentment.
She was like an empty shell, simply accepting the situation.
"Are you okay with this?"
I asked without thinking as I looked at her detached figure. The only time she showed emotion was when she saw the Diamond, but otherwise her expression remained neutral.
How could someone react like this to being abandoned by their own kind?
[Yes.]
Peridot's answer, however, contradicted that fact.
[If there is no function, then naturally it should be discarded.]
Cold, completely rational words left her lips. It was hard to tell whether she truly believed them or if she was simply trying to soothe herself with that logic.
Even though gems lived long lives and were not entirely human, they could still feel loneliness.
A great example of this was Spinel, a gem who was abandoned by her Diamond for hundreds of years. All she was told was that they were playing a game together and that she should wait.
But her thousands of years of waiting were filled with nothing but silence. By the time she came to her senses, her Diamond was no longer alive.
She had created a rebel army, calling themselves the Crystal Gems, using Rose Quartz's form to spread chaos. In the end, she lost the war and gave up her own physical form to bring her son, Steven, into existence.
For years, she waited for a fantasy that would never come, and eventually, Spinel broke from within. In a fit of rage, she went after her former mistress's son, completely out of her mind.
And that's why I doubted that this Peridot was as rational as she appeared.
More than her intimidating image, all I could see was a child crying out for help.
A child who, despite being over three thousand years old, still didn't know how to ask for help.
It was as if this dark, claustrophobic space was a living image of little Peridot's mental state. It didn't even try to simulate peace like the green field I had been in before; everything was just black and monotonous, without variation, without color, without highs or lows. Just a dark and hopeless space playing the role of a private prison.
Little Peridot huddled where no one could see her, waiting for an uncertain end, unknown to everyone but herself. I could feel her apathy and the weight on those small, hunched shoulders.
Breathing became difficult as I processed unfamiliar emotions.
The frustration of being trapped in this place, the fear of being abandoned, the shock of being rejected by her group, the sadness of seeing the tree's shadow fade, and the despair of monotony.
It wasn't as if I had access to this Peridot's memories, but her emotions were so strong that they seemed to emanate from her body.
My arms appeared in my field of vision before I even thought to extend them, then enveloped little Peridot's head and pulled it against my chest. She remained expressionless, listening to my turbulent heartbeat.
[What are you doing?]
She asked, genuinely curious about my behavior. This Peridot hadn't had any human contact and naturally lacked knowledge of social situations; perhaps the very concept of affection was foreign to her.
[Why are you treating me like that four-eyed human? Or perhaps, by living with humans for a few months, you have awakened what they call "maternal feelings"?]
Not entirely strange. On the contrary, she seemed to possess a distorted understanding of reality, along with a mouth that spat out rude words with every sentence.
[I should remind you that this physical form, although resembling a human child, has long since reached maturity. Moreover, feeling such emotions about your own appearance reflects narcissistic and dissociative traits. According to the protocol in the document from that sharp-eyed human, you fit a possible scenario of mental illness—]
"You should stop talking as if you know everything. This is nothing more than a hypothesis based on a tiny sample, with no real foundation beyond biased assumptions."
[On what information do you support this claim? I have been observing you since your first breath 111,376,842 seconds ago. The data used in my diagnosis includes your entire behavioral repertoire since birth and 3,000 years of systematic reflection. Does that not mean any claim you make loses its validity before it is even stated?]
My face tightened as I heard the absurd sophistry from this Peridot, who had never even spoken to a real human being. She seemed like those classroom nerds who disp