"Referee, we surrender here."
After throwing out the twin blades and detonating the traps, Shirou directly crouched down and pretended to be exhausted as he spoke.
He had measured the trap distances carefully. Both women were still some distance away, so neither of them would be judged eliminated.
However, with the two trapped between the blasts on both sides and the natural wind blowing through, the dust clouds and smell produced by the explosions were carried perfectly toward Chen and Hoshiguma's faces.
Shirou's reason for doing this was actually very simple.
He just wanted one final bit of revenge.
Shirou absolutely did not believe that all those people shouting strange slogans earlier were only Swire's subordinates.
If that were true, Swire would have already fulfilled her dream of taking down Chief Chen long ago.
And judging by how enthusiastically Chen herself had been cursing earlier, Shirou decided to act.
Actually, he could have avoided involving Hoshiguma, but the two women cooperated far too closely, and in the end he never found a good opportunity.
He would prepare some snacks for drinking and give them to her later as compensation.
"Oh... understood. Then this exercise is officially over! Victory goes to the Guard Department side!"
The referee team, having received Shirou's surrender signal, finally reacted and announced the result of the exercise.
Texas had already surrendered after personally kicking several people into traps and then standing aside to watch the show.
Meanwhile, Shirou had fought Chen and Hoshiguma for quite a long time.
The two women had truly been polished thoroughly through the battle.
"S—HI—ROU! You *********!"
The first person to charge out from the explosion cloud was Chief Chen.
The vein mark on her forehead twitched violently as though it might explode at any moment.
No, perhaps she had already exploded from anger.
Who could have expected this?
In the middle of fighting, Shirou suddenly detonated two traps and surrendered immediately afterward.
If Chen wanted to recover her dignity now, she could only find another chance during future sparring sessions.
For the record, the two traps were durian-flavored and rotten-egg-flavored.
The smell was indescribably horrifying.
At this moment, the first thing Chen wanted to do was beat Shirou up and then have a long conversation with Exusiai about life ideals.
Unfortunately, Chen understood clearly that even empowered by rage, she still could not defeat Shirou.
So she could only go find Exusiai first and transfer the portion of violence intended for Shirou onto her instead.
"Chief Chen, you cannot casually use profanity, you know? The higher-ups are watching."
Still lying flat on the ground pretending to be exhausted, Shirou propped up his head and commented.
"Tch."
After Shirou's reminder, along with the hand grabbing her shoulder from behind, Chen was finally forced to calm down.
"Sigh, Old Chen, calm down. It is only a trap. Though Shirou really was not very kind about it."
As someone who spent years mediating conflicts between Chen and Swire, Hoshiguma naturally knew exactly how to calm Chen down.
In simple terms:
Great force works miracles.
This level of bad odor was not really a problem for either of them. During operations, they had encountered far worse smells before.
The troublesome part would simply be how much effort it would take afterward to wash the odor off completely.
Hoshiguma could see Shirou's small mischievous act perfectly clearly.
This truly was the Guard Department's fault.
Under Missy's leadership, the Guard Department successfully ignited the explosive known as Shirou.
Unfortunately, the explosive's power had been so overwhelming that it nearly blew them all away and even dragged Hoshiguma and Chen into the blast.
Looking at the others already walking over to laugh at Old Chen, Hoshiguma could roughly imagine just how much firepower Shirou had unleashed earlier.
After all, almost everyone still had several suction-cup arrows stuck to them, making the whole scene look especially ridiculous.
Missy herself was the greatest example.
Her face, arms, and legs were all covered with suction-cup arrows. Some places even showed red marks from where she forcibly ripped them off.
Even in that state, she still came over specifically to laugh at Old Chen.
The result was obvious.
The two immediately began bickering at each other again, meaning Hoshiguma had to step in and mediate once more.
"Wow, Shirou, you looked really cool just now! You seriously had the aura of a final boss!"
As the exercise ended, the three people who had already been eliminated earlier also gathered around.
Croissant and Exusiai immediately poked at Shirou's face while he lay on the ground.
As expected of Shirou!
He easily accomplished things they could never do!
Shirou: "?"
Could they speak properly instead of poking his face for no reason?
"Stop poking me! And stay farther away from me!"
With a sweep of his hand, Shirou slapped away their restless fingers.
The smell coming from their hands made him uncomfortable. Shirou could already guess that Exusiai had probably fallen victim to one of her own traps in spectacular fashion and dragged Croissant down with her.
"What? Shirou, you are actually disgusted by us!? Croissant! Let us get him!"
Seeing Shirou reject the smell on them, Exusiai could not tolerate it.
She had relied on those final traps to hold back the Guard Department for quite a long time, yet Shirou still dared to dislike it?
It was only a little smelly...
Alright, maybe extremely smelly.
If they had not been so excited to see how things developed afterward and wanted to witness the conclusion personally, the two of them would have already rushed back to shower long ago.
At this point, the smell had practically soaked into them completely.
Still, they had enjoyed themselves immensely.
Shirou had practically crushed over half the Guard Department by himself, and with overwhelming dominance at that.
Watching the three great leaders of the Guard Department suffer setbacks at Shirou's hands made them unbelievably happy.
After all, Shirou belonged to Penguin Logistics.
And by extension, that basically meant they had humiliated the three great leaders of the Guard Department.
That feeling was absolutely amazing.
Their method of revenge was actually very simple.
Was Shirou not lying on the ground right now?
Then she and Croissant would simply carry him together.
So, while Shirou wore an utterly deadpan expression, Exusiai and Croissant each stood on one side, draping one of Shirou's arms over their shoulders and helping him up.
At the same time, their arms wrapped around his shoulders as well, locking him firmly in place so he could not easily break free.
Just imagine it.
Two people completely soaked in horrible smells pressing themselves this close...
Shirou did not know what others would think, but right now he was seriously wondering whether these two salted fish were marinated thoroughly enough that they no longer needed to eat food.
No, that would not work.
Not eating was unhealthy.
Then he would simply cook plain rice for them and let them eat it while smelling their own odor.
"These two idiots..."
Watching Exusiai and Croissant's actions, Texas looked utterly helpless.
Those two, especially Exusiai, still did not seem to understand their current situation.
A huge number of people in the Guard Department had already set their sights on her.
Yet now she had even attacked Shirou, who actually still had a fairly good reputation within the Guard Department, directly pushing away the last person connected to the Guard Department who was willing to speak in her favor.
As their teammate, Texas could only pray that Exusiai survived the next few days safely.
She had provoked the Guard Department outside and ignited Shirou's temper inside.
Enemies surrounded her both internally and externally.
Texas honestly had no idea how Exusiai planned to survive the coming days.
"Thier relationship seems pretty good though, does it not?"
Sora, standing beside them, did not think nearly that deeply.
She simply felt the three of them had a really close bond, close enough to joke around like this without getting angry at each other.
Or perhaps it was more accurate to say Shirou simply had a very good temper, allowing the two of them to behave like this.
"Please do not learn from those two... otherwise, they will probably be eating dirt for quite a while afterward."
Seeing the obvious envy written across Sora's face, Texas became slightly worried that Sora might follow the two troublemakers down the wrong path.
If that really happened...
Shirou would probably blame everything on Exusiai and Croissant, deciding they had corrupted Sora.
"Hm?"
Sora completely failed to understand and could only tilt her head in confusion while looking at Texas.
"You people..."
Truthfully, Shirou already wanted to make the two of them eat dirt immediately.
And after seeing the example they set, Chen, Hoshiguma, and Swire also found their own methods of retaliation, gathering around and insisting on carrying him as well.
The result was predictable.
Out of the five people surrounding him, four had stepped into Exusiai's traps.
One of them even tried sticking Shirou's projected items directly onto his forehead.
At this point, Shirou's expression looked almost exactly like Jaye's.
"We are doing this for your own good!"
Seeing Shirou's face, Hoshiguma laughed while speaking.
"Hoshiguma is right."
Chen nodded beside her.
Just seeing Shirou like this relieved about half of her anger already.
"No! Shirou, if you can make these things disappear, then take all of them away! How can you only remove the ones I try sticking onto you!?"
Swire's situation was even more tragic.
For the sake of her revenge, she had forcibly squeezed her way into the group.
Then, while holding a bunch of suction-cup arrows and trying to stick them onto Shirou, every single one instantly turned into blue particles and vanished the moment it touched him.
Not only did she fail to get revenge, she also covered herself in even more terrible smell.
The biggest loser of the entire exercise was probably her.
Unable to swallow her anger, Swire immediately retaliated by jabbing the remaining suction-cup arrows in her hands toward Chen's head instead.
Pop.
A suction-cup arrow stuck securely onto Chen's forehead.
This time, Shirou did not make it disappear.
"Char Siu Cat! You bastard!"
Feeling something hit her forehead, Chen immediately saw a familiar arrow shaft in her field of vision, along with Swire's troublesome hand, and instantly understood what happened.
She decisively gave up trying to recover dignity from Shirou and instead turned around, preparing for a direct one-on-one fight with Swire.
"Hahahaha—"
Watching the two of them, Hoshiguma could not even be bothered to stop them anymore and simply stood nearby enjoying the show.
Compared to their earlier argument that nearly developed into genuine hostility, this was now clearly just the two of them messing around and roughhousing.
Even if the methods looked somewhat violent from an outsider's perspective.
Penguin Logistics also chose to stand around watching the entertainment.
At the same time, Exusiai and Croissant finally released Shirou, allowing him to regain his freedom.
Unfortunately, the smell from the two thoroughly marinated salted fish had already contaminated him.
Combined with Chen and Hoshiguma's follow-up actions, Shirou now smelled no different from someone who had personally stepped into the traps.
Sigh.
So exhausting.
Still, watching Chen and Swire stick suction-cup arrows all over each other was rather satisfying.
Shirou even added more projected arrows into the mix, giving them additional choices.
The final result was that both women ended up with giant suction cups stuck to their heads, the kind that absolutely refused to come off.
Their bodies were also covered in varying amounts of red circular marks.
Though Swire definitely had more.
After all, she had taken the largest number of suction-cup arrows at the very beginning and then failed to gain any advantage when fighting Chen afterward.
She could truly be called the greatest loser of this entire event.
"Um... I know you all are having fun over there, but it is time to clean up the scene now, alright?"
Just as Chen and Swire's duel finally settled down, Liskarm's voice came through the communicator.
Faint laughter could also be heard in the background.
"Clean up the scene...? We have to help too?"
Hearing they needed to clean up afterward, Croissant's face immediately twisted in conflict.
She desperately wanted to rush back to the dorms, take a hot shower, and collapse onto a sofa.
And now they actually expected them to help clean up the battlefield too?
"You do not need to worry about the rest, but you still have to clean up the traps, right?"
Liskarm replied to Croissant's question.
However, her words caused the Penguin Logistics members to turn their heads and take a step back.
"Huh? What is going on here?"
Of course, the culprit was pushed aside by the group.
"Exusiai, you should take care of your own things, okay?"
Shirou, as usual, smiled and said.
"No, are you just leaving me to clean up all by myself?"
Seeing Shirou's smile, Exusiai instantly lost any will to resist but would it not be too tiring for her to do it all by herself?
Setting traps and digging traps are two different things. She did not remember where she had set them!
"Of course."
"Is that not obvious?"
"I have a performance in a couple of days, I cannot have any weird smells."
Texas, Croissant, and Sora all came up with excuses, with only Sora's being the most legitimate. The other two were clearly just trying to pass the buck because the task was troublesome.
"Shirou!"
Seeing her teammates' reactions, Exusiai looked at Shirou.
If it were Shirou…
"Exusiai! Do you not have legs? Just run a lap"
Shirou offered a very Sarkaz-like suggestion.
His idea was very simple: the traps were practically harmless, mostly just filled with a foul stench, but Exusiai had already detonated the most stench on herself, meaning she was now fearless!
After all, nothing smelled as bad as what she was wearing!
This suggestion instantly received the support of everyone present.
Penguin Logistics aside, the Guard Bureau was suffering terribly from Exusiai's traps and could not find a way to deal with her.
They had originally thought they could only wait for an opportunity later, but Shirou's suggestion immediately understood everyone's thoughts.
This suggestion is great! Letting the person who planted the traps trigger the rest themselves, they had not thought of that at all!
"Shirou, you cannot do this!!"
Hearing Shirou's suggestion, Exusiai immediately begged for mercy.
Making her run a lap to trigger all the traps? That's too cruel!
She absolutely will not do it without a homemade apple pie from Shirou as a reward!
"If you and Croissant finish quickly, maybe I can consider canceling your plan to spend a week smelling your own scent and eating plain rice?"
Looking at Exusiai's expression, Shirou was not a devil, and casually assigned Croissant to help.
Croissant: "?"
Hearing Shirou's words, Croissant understood that he was retaliating for what happened earlier.
She had already prepared herself… but it turned out to be a week of plain rice?
That's too cruel!
"It is just running a lap! Go, Exusiai!"
Having been outwitted by Shirou for so long, the two of them were naturally certain that what Shirou said earlier was true.
"A week's worth of plain rice? I do not want that!"
Exusiai also lost interest in apple pie; a week's worth of plain rice was clearly a more terrifying punishment than a single apple pie.
The two of them immediately started running back and forth.
"Whoa…Shirou, is this how you always treat them?"
Swire asked, seeing the two of them so obediently comply.
No wonder Penguin Logistics has been so well-behaved lately…after all, if they do not behave, they will not get any food. Shirou practically has their lifeline in his grasp.
"Well done! Go for it!"
"If they were not so mischievous, I would not have done this."
Shirou sighed helplessly, seeing Chen, Hoshiguma, and Swire staring at him with strange looks.
Please believe him, he was truly forced into this situation. He simply could not manage these two brats without going to such lengths, okay?
"...Thanks for your hard work."
Seeing Shirou's worried expression, Hoshiguma felt she could definitely have a good chat with him on this topic.
"Managing people is difficult for everyone!"
"But this exercise really... I do not even know what it was about."
Chen, having recovered, sighed.
She naturally did not know Wei Yanwu's main purpose in arranging this exercise, but in her opinion, it was supposed to be a place where, without serious injury, some members of the Guard Bureau who rarely participated in combat could gain experience.
But then, of all people, they chose Penguin Logistics, not only were they annoyed by Exusiai but they also got almost wiped out by Shirou alone.
"Disgraceful! So disgraceful!"
Of course, Chen was referring to the Exusiai part; Shirou not even using Caladbolg was already the biggest concession the other side had made.
And it was not just Caladbolg; aside from the bow and the dual swords projected during their battle, Shirou barely projected anything else, he went to extremes in holding back.
Not to mention, the opposing side ultimately surrendered, leaving the Guard Bureau with a final relief.
Although she felt this relief was practically nonexistent, at least the intention was there.
"This kind of exercise, besides gaining experience, is also an opportunity for people to recognize their own strengths and find their place, right?"
Hoshiguma, standing nearby, did not see it that way. Wei Yanwu definitely had a purpose in bringing in Penguin Logistics. Knowing Penguin Logistics' unpredictable nature and Shirou's overpowered abilities, Hoshiguma could only think that Wei Yanwu wanted to use this opportunity to make everyone in the Guard Bureau realize their own limitations.
With Shirou's assistance lately, most people's mentality had actually changed. Arranging for Shirou on the opposing side was also meant to provoke these people.
As for the effects… we will have to wait and see; it is too early to tell.
"That is true."
Hearing Hoshiguma's words, Chen felt a little better. She casually plucked a suction cup arrow from Swire's head, further improving her mood.
"???"
Swire, still waiting for Shirou to immediately withdraw his magic, was completely bewildered.
What had she done to deserve this?