Yoon Ha-min stood there blankly after hearing my words.
He chewed over what I'd said, mumbling to himself a few times before quietly asking me again.
It seemed like he wasn't satisfied with my answer.
"...You want me to smile?"
It wasn't an incomprehensible reaction. In fact, it felt rather natural.
If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have to agonize like this in the first place. It must be awkward for him when the cause of his troubles says something like that.
It probably seemed strange that I, the Bottom Rank at the Academy, would worry about the Top Rank. And it must have been puzzling why I was acting so familiar when we weren't even that close.
Yoon Ha-min didn't know me, but I knew Yoon Ha-min.
Given the circumstances, perhaps that was inevitable.
The gap between us couldn't be bridged.
I knew so much, but there was just as much I couldn't say.
"Yes."
I answered calmly.
My lips quivered. My emotions kept trying to break free.
The final sentence kept flashing through my mind, making my brow furrow.
Yoon Ha-min just stared at me blankly.
"...Why?"
Hearing that, I smiled bitterly.
It was a smile to hold back tears that threatened to burst forth at any moment.
Was my heart too soft?
I empathized too easily, often crying at sad passages.
My tear ducts were so weak that tears would flow, soaking the screen as if they were just for you.
How much worse would it be with the actual protagonist standing before me?
"Because we're friends."
I gave him back the exact words he had once said to me.
With a reason like that, even he wouldn't be able to find a response.
Thinking this, I turned my head away.
"...I... I guess so."
Though it seemed strange, he couldn't find the words to say anything more, and after hesitating, he remained silent.
I looked at him quietly, then turned my gaze toward where the horizon was swallowing the sunset.
Yoon Ha-min couldn't protect anyone.
He lost his comrades who would walk shoulder to shoulder with him, and the lover who would pat his back.
Despite fighting at the forefront and being willing to die to protect peace, his end,
though more heroic than anyone else's, was not befitting a hero.
He survived alone, pitifully, creating a path with his tears.
I could almost picture his back, as if I had witnessed it myself.
"Thank you for believing me."
I walked with my back to him.
As I did, I expressed the emotions I was feeling.
There was no response, but I continued speaking anyway.
Honestly, I wanted to pour my heart out somewhere. I just wanted someone to listen to me.
"Thank you for helping me look for evidence even though what I said was absurd, and for coming when I contacted you again."
My pace didn't slow.
Afraid he might see my contorted expression, I just walked along the Wall, as if escaping.
Then I heard his voice following me.
"...But I have something I want to ask."
"Yes?"
I secretly moistened my dry lips with my tongue.
Since I was walking ahead, he wouldn't see it anyway.
After a brief pause, Yoon Ha-min asked his question.
"What does this have to do with me smiling?"
"Ah..."
For a moment, I almost blurted out a mechanical "good question," but what came out instead was a small sigh.
The future was so distant that I couldn't think of a suitable excuse.
In truth, even in the story, he seemed happy and never lost his smile until it was suddenly taken away, so I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right.
But because he was a hero.
Because he was Yoon Ha-min the hero.
I thought that if he acted more heroically than anyone else, perhaps the corners of his mouth would turn upward.
I thought that if he could protect those around him before they were lost, protect the surroundings of his surroundings before they disappeared, and keep protecting them, perhaps we could maintain Yoon Ha-min's happiness. That's why I did this.
I don't know for sure. Nothing was certain.
Just as Yoon Ha-min's happiness was suddenly taken away, I feared this world might suddenly take away his smile too.
I was afraid that everyone might die and the inside of this Wall would be swept by a bloody wind.
I carefully chose my answer.
This was about saving someone I didn't even know.
It could just as well be about saving the family of some student somewhere in the Academy.
So no matter what I did, there was no reason for Yoon Ha-min to smile.
He would just feel relieved, or wonder if it would really happen.
Therefore, no proper answer existed.
Nevertheless, I gave him one.
"You know, if I keep doing this, you can keep smiling."
I said that and glanced back at him slightly.
Then I raised my bandaged right hand a little to point at where the Wall was.
"What...?"
I continued walking without saying anything more.
Yoon Ha-min still seemed puzzled, but he didn't turn away thinking I was crazy, nor did he declare that he couldn't trust me anymore and would leave.
Only after the horizon had swallowed the sunset and beautiful stars spread across the night sky did I stop walking.
"Is there nothing more?"
As I muttered this, Yoon Ha-min hesitated for a moment before looking at me.
"Kanna. Good job."
"...You too."
"But is what you really want..."
He continued to struggle with his thoughts and seemed about to say something, but then frowned and swallowed whatever he was going to say.
I tilted my head in confusion, but he shook his head vigorously as if to dismiss it, then smiled slightly and turned around.
"It's nothing, let's go."
He said that and headed toward the bus stop.
I quietly followed behind him.
*
I couldn't go on the weekend because Kanna insisted several times that I shouldn't come.
She said she would really send me photographic evidence if she discovered anything, but since no text with attached photos had arrived so far, it seemed she hadn't found anything.
If you asked me whether I really believed her, the answer would be ambiguous.
It was such an absurd and preposterous story that how could I believe it just by hearing it without seeing anything?
But somehow my intuition was on edge.
Watching Kanna desperately searching for something, I thought that if this was an act, it would be even more impressive.
Moreover, her words about wanting me to smile kept circling in my head, making me furrow my brow as I considered going back.
She wants me to smile?
Had I not been smiling all this time?
No. I certainly wouldn't smile when concentrating on studying.
I definitely wouldn't smile when focusing on training.
But I think I smiled plenty when chatting with Orca or other classmates.
I touched my mouth with my hand.
I felt around, wondering if my lips were turned downward, but there was nothing else I could determine.
"...What are you pondering so deeply about?"
Orca, sitting next to me, asked.
Orca Ramiris, with her blonde hair and blue eyes that proclaimed her status as the daughter of a prestigious family, looked at me with concern.
I stared at her quietly for a moment, then groaned.
"It's nothing. Just studying lately..."
"Hehe, then we can have a proper competition this week."
With her strong competitive spirit, she seemed eager to compete fairly and defeat me.
Since she lost in the first exam, and in the second exam I couldn't study properly because I was following Kanna around, causing me to miss a few points on the written test, she seemed determined that this time would be different.
"I guess so."
As I answered, my mind kept returning to ivory-colored hair and purple eyes.
Those sad-looking eyes, directed at me.
Smiling in that world that seemed about to be dyed red by the evening glow.
—Because I want you to smile.
We weren't really close.
I didn't have anyone at the Academy with whom I was particularly close.
It was still the beginning of the semester, just entering the fourth week.
Just friends I got along with.
But somehow, with Kanna, it felt like her gaze on me was a little different.
"...Hmm."
I twirled the pen in my hand.
Using my ability "Stars attract each other," the pen wouldn't fall from my hand and would spin more elaborately.
Whirl, whirl, the deeper my worries and the more my thoughts, the faster and more brilliantly it spun.
As I sat there absentmindedly during class, Orca nudged me from the side.
"...Yoon Ha-min."
"Ah, sorry."
Is it because it's Monday?
I sighed deeply, thinking of nonsensical things.
I tried to focus again on the sunlight racing toward the warm afternoon.
And so a peaceful day passed.
Kanna went to check the Wall again today, but I couldn't follow her.
I thought I couldn't disappoint the teacher this time, and I was determined to focus on studying.
Tuesday was similar,
And then Wednesday arrived.
The Wednesday that Kanna Aurora had mentioned.
Kanna came in with a haggard expression just before the exam started.
"...Ah."
I couldn't even say hello.
She just glanced at me once and immediately went back to her seat, collapsing into it.
She sat down heavily in her chair, with dark circles deeply set under both eyes.
I was worried, but the exam was about to start, so I couldn't go over and ask her about it.
I don't think she had mentioned staying out so late yesterday, so I wondered if she had been wandering around all night on her own.
I thought that even if you're doing something, there should be moderation.
And then the exam began, and soon ended.
The written test was held in the morning, and the practical test spanned both morning and afternoon.
When all the tests were finished, it was earlier than the usual daily schedule.
The incident Kanna had mentioned didn't happen.
I wasn't sure whether to feel relieved about that fact or to have some other emotion.
With mixed feelings, I carefully looked back at Kanna, who was quietly looking at her grade report.
"So even when I do my best, I still lose..."
Orca was looking at her grade report, seemingly wanting to compare it with mine, but I turned away and approached Kanna.
"Kanna."
"...Yes."
Today again, Kanna bore the ridicule of others during the practical test.
Her ability never reached the training dummy, and when it came to physical techniques, she couldn't perform falls or attacks properly, so being at the Bottom Rank, she was in a pitiful environment.
That kid won't get anywhere good even after graduation.
She'll probably be sent to some more remote place, like a demotion.
You can't even walk around safely in a place where someone like her is stationed.
Amid all the mockery and ridicule, Kanna seemed to be barely holding on, looking like she might collapse at any moment.
What do you mean you want me to smile?
Aren't you the one who can't smile right now?
I couldn't really be certain or believe it.
I hadn't seen any evidence, so as the teacher and Orca said, nothing had been proven true.
But still, if you want me to smile.
I hoped these words would make you smile a little.
If those hands weren't really erasing a totem, but were self-harm marks from sadness, I hoped it wouldn't happen again.
"...Today, you won."
Words no one else would understand.
Hearing this, Kanna opened her exhausted eyes wide and looked at me.
At the same time, the grade report in her hand crumpled.
It clearly showed her Bottom Rank, but that had no meaning to her now.
According to what Kanna had said, she had essentially preserved today's peace.
So, I spoke to her hoping she could smile.
And what came back was a trembling voice.
"...Yes."
And with that, Kanna smiled.