Time with Kanna.
Even though she was a female classmate, I thought it would be fine if I was just keeping her around temporarily for protection. But having realized that wasn't the case, all I could do was quietly groan.
If we had been completely unrelated, our relationship would have simply flowed that way. But Kanna was different.
As we spent time together, I could see her values and thoughts, and strongly felt her tireless efforts to achieve her goals.
My initial dislike of her for "not trying hard enough" was just a hasty judgment based on distant, fragmented observations without getting to know her. Thinking back on it now only filled me with regret.
She did try hard, but I realized she had repeatedly fallen due to barriers of talent, environment, and enemies. After understanding this, I couldn't help but pay more attention to her.
Of course, that was the first reason I became interested in Kanna. The second was simply that I found myself attracted to her as a woman.
During practice at Orca's mansion,
When I carried her from the shower last night,
I still couldn't forget that heart-pounding feeling.
Of course, no man would be unaffected by that sight, but still.
I was secretly happy just knowing that Kanna, who didn't approach others, was relying on me like this.
I realized that just as much as I trusted her, she trusted and relied on me too.
I couldn't help but smile.
I suggested we have dinner and talk, but Kanna usually skips breakfast, so perhaps eating breakfast today made her feel full. She barely ate anything before going to bed.
Since tomorrow was Monday, I understood, but I still felt disappointed because I wanted to chat with her a bit more.
"I wonder if she'll be okay."
I had left a spare room for Kanna, but since the only bed was in my room, I was a bit worried.
That primal concern of whether it was okay to let her sleep on the floor.
Kanna said she was used to sleeping on the floor and went to her room, but I regretted not knowing what to say to stop her.
I took out my device and turned on the screen.
The time was approaching 11 o'clock.
It wasn't late, nor was it early—just the perfect time to sleep, I thought. But for some reason, I just couldn't fall asleep tonight.
Maybe it was because I had started living with Kanna. The feeling was strange. The fact that it wasn't just me under this roof but Kanna too kept making me conscious of it, and my pounding heart wouldn't calm down.
I stayed like that for a while, dazed.
As I stared at the darkened ceiling, doing nothing in particular, I heard a knock at the door.
The sound of knocking made me bolt upright.
"...Yoon Ha-min?"
"Oh, y-yeah! What's up?"
She had gone to bed so quickly that I thought she was already asleep. I was taken aback that she would come at this hour.
Come to think of it, why at this time...?
My heart was pounding for no reason.
I really wondered why she was suddenly coming at this hour.
I quickly got out of bed and rushed to where Kanna was knocking.
When I flung the door open, Kanna looked up at me with a somewhat frightened expression and trembling gaze.
The way she glanced up at me took my breath away.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?"
"No, it's just... suddenly being in a dark place made it hard to breathe..."
Seeing Kanna clutching her chest as if suffocating made me feel like my own breath was being constricted.
"Come in for now."
I opened the door wide to make space for Kanna to enter.
She nodded and carefully stepped inside.
After seating her on my bed, I pulled out the chair from my desk and sat down.
With the lights on and facing her, Kanna looked at me nervously.
"I'm sorry for the sudden intrusion..."
Hearing Kanna's trembling voice, I couldn't think of any reason to be upset.
She wasn't approaching me with ill intentions or saying strange things—it was because of her trauma. What reason could I have to be upset?
I spoke to comfort her.
"No, it's okay. Are you scared of being alone?"
"Y-yes. No, I'm sorry... I'm sorry for troubling you..."
Kanna clenched her fists on her knees, trembling.
Then she bit down hard on her teeth, which was truly pitiful to see.
What Kanna was recalling was the memory of being dragged outside the Wall by the Strange One.
And now, with the Wall collapsed, the Strange One had planted something inside her to use as a guide to find her easily.
"It's not trouble at all. We're classmates, so I can help you with this much."
I reassured her that it really wasn't difficult or troublesome.
Kanna kept her head down for several minutes before quietly looking up.
Her tearful expression looked so pitiful.
I wished she wouldn't cry, that she would smile instead.
"Don't cry."
I whispered softly.
At those words, Kanna's suppressed emotions seemed to burst forth, and her eyes welled up like waves.
Those violet eyes trembled as if they were about to overflow with water.
Kanna seemed aware of this and bit her lower lip hard, trying to hold back her emotions.
She tried to endure and suppress these feelings somehow.
But it wasn't enough, and she ended up letting her tears fall.
"I'm sorry... for suddenly saying I wanted to stay here... and for being like this now... I was just so scared..."
"I know, and I believe everything you told me. Really. I won't say things like before, and I won't think that way either."
"Thank you..."
Only after repeating "sorry" several times did Kanna finally manage to calm down.
Time was approaching midnight.
I realized that just talking with someone could easily make an hour disappear, but rather than feeling conflicted about the passage of time, I was busy thinking about how to truly reassure Kanna.
I sat next to Kanna to comfort her and held her hand, but I wasn't sure if this was appropriate, so I remained still.
I just went with the flow and ended up like this—I could honestly say I wasn't holding her hand with any ulterior motives.
"Are you feeling a little better?"
"Yes... sorry."
Kanna seemed to think she had shown an embarrassing side of herself, as she blushed and hung her head.
Then she fidgeted and tried to gently pull her hand away.
I quietly let go of her hand, and Kanna sat in her seat without saying anything, moistening her parched lips with her tongue.
As I gazed at Kanna's profile, I was lost in thought before swallowing hard.
Feeling like my heart might burst if I stayed like this, I spoke first.
"Kanna, I know what you've been through, what situation you're in, and what you're afraid of. And I believe it. Even though these things seemed absurd, in the end, there were people who could survive because of what you said."
I put my unwavering feelings into words.
"So believe me. I'll protect you. I can't always be by your side, but while you're staying here, I'll definitely protect you..."
As I was continuing, Kanna interrupted me.
The voice that had been crying until just now stung my ears.
"So you'll only protect me if I stay with you?"
I felt breathless.
I was going to say that without being nearby, I couldn't prepare for the Strange One's attack that could come anytime, anywhere. But the moment I heard Kanna's words, I wondered if it could be interpreted that way, and my mind went blank.
Of course, I did enjoy having Kanna around, but I had no intention of explicitly keeping her at my home.
"No, I mean... realistically speaking, I can only protect you if I'm by your side..."
As I continued with what sounded like an excuse, Kanna muttered as if it didn't matter.
"If you're okay with it, I'll stay until then. I don't want to be a burden."
"Huh? I-I'm definitely okay with it. The house is spacious anyway."
"But it must be uncomfortable having someone else sharing your space."
That's what Kanna said.
It was a signal that she would stay here during this moment of anxiety, but if she felt better, and if I disliked it, she would leave.
Honestly, how could I abandon Kanna, of all people?
She was already someone as important as a hero who had saved countless lives in my heart, and there was also this indefinable feeling that kept telling me it was okay to keep her close, which I was following.
My face felt like it was about to turn red because of this vague, difficult-to-name emotion that followed.
It felt hard to stay sane the moment I became conscious of these embarrassing words I wouldn't normally say.
As I was about to tidy up, saying we should go to bed soon for school tomorrow, Kanna quietly asked:
"Then, I'm really sorry, but..."
"Y-yes, what is it?"
I listened carefully to Kanna's words.
Wondering what she was going to say, if she had another request.
After waiting for her answer, her response made me freeze.
"Can I sleep with you just for tonight?"