Wait a moment. If I'm in a forest and a naked person suddenly appears, I'm definitely not going to think it's "safe and fun." My thoughts had been racing so fast I forgot that clothes don't just appear magically in this world. It's better to be a beast than a naked creep.
After a few more tries, I discovered I can change my form at will. This is cool—really cool. Imagine the crimes I could commit! Not that I want to commit any, obviously. As I finally snapped out of my head, I remembered I was in a forest and couldn't afford to relax. I have a bit of pride, sure, but I also remember that day I acted all brave only to end up running, getting caught, and getting beaten up. Better safe than sorry.
As I began my journey through the woods, I realized the potential: if I can take any form, I can be any animal. I've always wanted to fly—it was a major sub-goal of mine. I transformed into an eagle and began to ascend. But as I reached the sky, I froze. In the distance, I saw massive creatures resembling dragons.
At that moment, I knew I had messed up. I dived back toward the ground, thoughts swirling: What the fuck was that?
I'm in a fantasy world. How am I supposed to survive a place where bandits, monsters, nobles, and gods are common? If I were just a newbie anime watcher, I'd be happy as hell. But I'm a pro. I know exactly what happens. I don't want to be burnt at the stake or executed for blasphemy or speaking against a noble. I'm scared to death.
"Let's just get out of this forest first," I muttered. Based on my deduction, I'm in a monster-infested forest, which means I am a monster. Since I can shapeshift, I'm probably a powerful one. I decided to test it on a tree. I took a deep breath and swept a claw.
It cleaved through the forest without a sound, as if it cut through sound itself. I stared, shocked, at the aftermath. A single swipe had leveled everything in my line of sight, including distant mountains.
What the fuck? I'm OP as hell. But then the dread set in. If a "newborn" monster like me is this strong, how strong are the actual people of this world? I started to fear the possibility of someone dissecting me for "research."
No. Stop. Positive thoughts can cure negative ones. When negatives clash, they generate positivity! (Okay, maybe that's not how math works, but I'm sticking with it.)
"A person who always thinks is a person who always wins," I quoted to myself. I'm quite the thinker. As I traveled through uncharted territory, I heard a sound. Instinctively, I transformed into the sturdiest animal I knew: a turtle.
My internal monologue screamed at me: Why a turtle?! You could have been a lion or a panther! As the sound grew closer, I prayed for my life. Finally, a shadow appeared—a medieval carriage. My thoughts flipped instantly. Nobles are psychos, but maybe they'll accept a cute creature as a pet? I could live a lazy life; they get a pet, I get safety. Two birds, one stone. I am amazed at my own brilliance!
Most humans love cats and dogs, but nobles aren't "most people." I didn't want to look too human—that leads to the "dark side" of noble tropes. I considered a dragon, but no, that's too much. Before I could decide, the carriage stopped.
"How rare," a voice said. "A cat-girl inside the Forest of Ellora? I heard the Cat-Tribe lived inside the Empire of Jefrno. I don't know why one would appear in human territory, but I'd like to keep you. I've been lacking a maid since the last one was killed."
Shit! I need to run! I tried to sprint, but my body suddenly locked up.
"How stupid," the man said. I could only see his shadow as he overwhelmed me. My face was pressed into the dirt. "A creature without even intermediate supernatural strength trying to run from me? It's almost cute. Does the dirt taste good?"
I tried to turn my head, but he pushed me further down.
"I heard the strong are revered in your kingdom," he mocked. "Are you an exile? It's entertaining to watch a 'supernatural' eat dirt. Now, it is time for you to sleep. I'll have a present waiting for you when you wake up."
Suddenly, voices echoed in the void of my consciousness, like a heated debate between fans.
"Hey, do you want to die? Don't insult the Regressor! He's the best protagonist—his behavior is the most human!"
"Shut up with that crap! That series has terrible ratings. The protagonist is a crybaby."
"What would you do in his place? You'd be mentally broken after just a few deaths!"
A jolt of pain snapped me awake. I just wanted to sleep in peace, but my eyes opened to see a maid. She had light skin, sky-blue eyes, and pink hair. Even in a simple black-and-white uniform, she looked like a supermodel.
I'm finally in heaven, I thought. This was my chance to live a happy life as a Harem King. Wait—no, I always hated harem novels. They feel rushed and wrong. But this is real life... maybe I could enjoy a harem? My dream of a better life was finally within reach.
Time to use my irresistible charm.
"Hey lady," I said, reaching out my hand. "I was wondering if you and I could go out for dinner?"