I don't remember when I fell asleep.
At some point, the fire must have burned low. The forest sounds blurred into something distant. My body gave up before my thoughts did.
Kazim woke me briefly.
"You should rest," he said softly. "I've got it for a while."
I wanted to argue. I always did. But my eyes were already heavy, my mind sinking faster than I could fight it. I lay down and closed my eyes.
And then I was somewhere else.
Not a dream.
Not fully awake.
I was standing in a place that felt familiar and wrong at the same time—empty, endless, like a reflection without a surface. And across from me stood someone I recognized instantly.
It's me. But my reflection.
He was smiling.
Not a kind smile. Not even a smug one. It was sharp. Amused.
"So," he said, clapping slowly. "This is what you've become?"
I tried to speak, but my throat felt tight.
He circled me, laughing under his breath. "You still don't get it, do you? You survive by accident. You win because others bleed for you."
"That's not true," I said, but my voice sounded weak—even to me.
"Oh?" He stopped in front of me. "Then where is your power now?"
I looked down at my hands.
Nothing.
He leaned closer. "You couldn't even ask me for help properly. And you expect others to believe in you?"
I felt something break inside my chest.
"I just want—" I started.
"To be useful?" he cut in. "To stop feeling like a burden?"
He laughed. "You can't even accept yourself. How do you expect others to?"
I reached out—not to fight him, not to push him away. Just to ask.
To beg.
But he stepped back.
"Figure it out alone," he said. "Like you always do."
The place collapsed into darkness.
I woke up gasping.
My heart was racing, sweat cold against my skin. For a moment, I didn't know where I was. Then the forest came back into focus. The fire. The barriers. The quiet breathing of my friends.
Just a dream.
But it didn't feel like one.
As we prepared to move again, I watched the others.
Aira practiced small sparks between her fingers—not just imagining them, but feeling the warmth rise from somewhere deeper. Ren focused quietly, guiding the earth beneath his feet, eyes closed, breathing steady.
Even Kazim, concentrated as he synced with nearby systems, his face calm in a way mine never felt.
They weren't just imagining anymore.
They were connected.
I felt nothing.
The doubt settled back in, heavier than before.
After a few hours of walking, we got lucky.
A jeep sat half-buried off an old road, rusted but intact. Kazim's eyes lit up the moment he saw it.
"Let me try something," he said.
He rested his hand against the dashboard, jaw tightening in focus. For a second, nothing happened. Then the engine coughed.
Once.
Twice. And then it roared to life.
Aira laughed out loud. Ren let out a breath he'd been holding for days.
We climbed in quickly.
As the jeep rolled forward, carrying us closer to Academy 3, I stared out the window at the passing ruins.
Everyone was moving forward.
Everyone but me.
And somewhere deep inside, the version of myself from that place was still smiling, still waiting for me to fail.
For it to take control.