One particularly shitty evening after another shitty day, Roy was walking through the regular slums he stuck to at night when he noticed something strange.
A tiny, crumbling stall sat between two alleys. It looked so small that it almost didn't exist.
Most people walked past it like it wasn't there, as if they couldn't even see it. It was just so filthy that no one wanted to approach it.
Roy would have walked past it. He should have walked past it, but something made him pause dead in his tracks.
What caught his eye were the glowing words above it.
As the universe takes away, so it shall give.
"…Wow," he said. "That's either very deep or very ridiculous. This world has done nothing but take since I got here."
By all logic, he should ignore it.
First rule of his life now was to stay out of dark alleys. Dark alleys had gotten him robbed and stripped, and earned him a personal experience of humiliation twice now.
He took a step forward, something invisible urging him toward the stall. "Nope. Not doing this. I already learned my lesson about dark alleys." He turned to leave, and then he stopped again.
"…Actually," he said slowly, "what exactly is anyone going to take from me?"
He looked down at the worn clothes he had bought for cheap. His empty pockets. His general state of being screamed broke, tired, and unlucky.
"…I don't own anything of value anymore." Well, he didn't own much of anything at all.
Whatever money he made during the day was immediately spent on food and daily basic supplements; even then, it wasn't enough.
Today was worse since he had only made enough bronze coins for a single meal, so his stomach rumbled more frequently than usual.
"Oh well...." So, with nothing on his person, he decided to approach the stall that looked like it was about to fall sideways.
With a shrug, Roy walked forward.
What was the worst that could happen?
There was no door at the front, so he just stepped straight inside. The place looked exactly how he expected.
Old shelves lined the walls, crooked and dusty, filled with junk that looked useless even by junk standards. Cracked bottles, broken tools, and stones that were definitely just stones.
Behind a similarly battered counter sat a carefree old man.
He was slumped back in an oddly luxurious reclining chair that looked wildly out of place, like it had been stolen from a palace and dumped here out of spite.
The chair easily looked a thousand times more expensive than the entire stall. The old man snored loudly with his mouth wide open while stroking his beard in his sleep.
Roy stared with an odd gaze.
"…That is the weirdest thing I've seen today." The snoring stopped.
One eye opened. The old man smiled, showing a disgusting row of brown, rotting teeth.
Roy shivered. 'Yep. I regret coming in here already.'
"Did you say something?"
Roy froze. "…Uh, no?" had he said that out loud?
"No matter. Tell me, what do you seek, young one?" the old man asked, rolling his chair forward.
The old man smiled wider. "Power? Riches? Wisdom? Treasure? Maybe even..." He paused dramatically and leaned in, "…Women?"
Roy's eyes lit up instantly. He nodded wildly without a second thought about how ridiculous he looked.
"Yes. Absolutely! One hundred percent yes!"
The old man burst into roaring laughter. Maniacal laughter. Then he started coughing, then wheezing, until he clutched his back.
"Ack—ha—hah—my back!"
Roy watched, embarrassed.
"Oho…Okay, I got carried a bit away."
The old man wiped his eyes while stretching his back. "You are honest. I like that."
'…Should I get a doctor,' he thought, 'or is this part of the experience?'
The old man waved him off while Roy's excitement faded into smoke.
He sighed. 'Yeah… figures.' He looked around again at the dusty shelves.
Roy sighed inwardly, already turning on his heel to get the hell outta here. 'What am I even doing? What can an old man on his deathbed possibly do about my sexual fantasies?'
Obviously, there was nothing more for him to see in this filthy place.
"Oh, quite a lot actually," the old man said calmly.
Roy blinked.
"…Wait."
He slowly looked up.
"Did I say that out loud?"
"You did not."
Roy's eyes widened. "Can you read my mind?"
"Certainly," the old man said. "That much I can do. And much, much more."
He reached into his brown, worn robes and pulled out an old, battered scroll. The edges were frayed, the surface yellowed with age.
He placed it gently on the counter.
"Here, take this scroll. Use it well, young one, and if fate permits, we shall meet again!"
Before Roy could say anything, the old man turned into a puff of smoke and vanished right before his eyes.
"…What the actual fuck." Roy stood there stunned, an odd look gracing his handsome features.
"This world is getting weirder by the day," he muttered. He picked up the scroll expectantly, but then he snorted.
"Knowing my luck," he said, "this is definitely a prank."
He unfurled the scroll slowly, unable to suppress the excitement welling up inside him. His eyes widened in shock at the sight that met his gaze.
Then they twitched. And then darkened comically. In the end, he could only sigh in defeat.
The scroll was blank. Completely blank.
"…Of course." He had been one-upped once again. It was like the world was constantly spitting in his face for refusing to drown in his misery. "What did I expect!"
"Stupid old man," he said. "Stupid stall! Stupid World!" Roy crumpled the scroll into a ball and threw it away with all the strength his weak body could handle.
"I hate this world!" He screamed at the top of his lungs and stormed out of the stall.
The moment he stepped outside, however, a floodgate of pain opened in his mind. Information flooded his mind. Images. Knowledge and heavenly sensations. One second felt like forever.
Roy gasped and dropped to his knees, his whole face red, from what, only he knew. When it ended, Roy staggered, gasping for breath.
"…No way…Holy shit—"
Understanding settled in slowly and terrifyingly. If even a fraction of what he had just seen was real… The possibilities were endless!
Roy started to smile. Then he laughed.
Then he whispered, awed and horrified all at once: "Please tell me this is not a joke…" Because if it was, he might just kill someone.
Acquired God-Level Divine Technique: Profound Yang Massage Technique
Roy stared up into the night with an ecstatic smile on his face.
"…My luck may not be so bad after all," he said.