Chapter 23 – The Night He Couldn't Sleep
The next three days moved quickly.
Adrian left at 7 a.m., came home at 8 p.m., and every night we sat on the couch and talked about the trial.
Samira had agreed to testify. Mr. Salem said her statement was strong enough to keep the case alive.
But Adrian was still tense.
I could see it in the way he rubbed his jaw while eating, in the way he stared at the wall after dinner instead of talking.
On Wednesday, I went to see Layla as usual.
She ran to me the moment Mrs. Cole opened the door.
"Mama Lila!"
I hugged her.
"Hi, habibti."
We played with her dolls, read *The Little Star*, and drew.
She drew the house with three people again.
"This is Mama."
"This is Baba."
"This is Lila."
I kissed her forehead when the hour was over.
"See you next week, Mama Lila."
"I'll see you next week, habibti."
I got home at 5:15 p.m.
Adrian was already there, sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand.
"You went to see Layla," he said.
"Yes."
"How was she?"
"She's good. She called me Mama Lila again."
He smiled faintly.
"Good."
I served dinner.
We ate.
After dinner, he didn't sit on the couch.
He stayed at the table, staring at his plate.
"Adrian?" I said.
"Yes?"
"You're quiet tonight."
He looked up at me.
"I can't stop thinking about the trial."
"I know."
"What if the judge believes Karim's lawyer?"
"Samira's testimony is strong."
"I know. But what if it's not enough?"
I stood up and went to him.
I put my hand on his shoulder.
"Adrian, look at me."
He looked up.
"We have a witness. The truth is on our side."
He nodded.
"I know. I'm just scared."
"It's okay to be scared."
He reached up and took my hand.
"Can you sit with me?"
"Yes."
I sat on his lap.
He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.
"I'm scared of losing," he whispered.
"You won't lose."
"What if I do?"
"Then we'll appeal. We won't stop until justice is done for Nadia."
He was quiet for a moment.
"Thank you for saying that."
"You're welcome."
He kissed my neck.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We stayed like that for a long time.
Then he stood up, took my hand, and led me to the bedroom.
We went to bed together.
He held me close.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too."
He kissed my forehead.
But I could feel he wasn't relaxed.
His body was tense.
He was awake long after I thought he'd fallen asleep.
At 2 a.m. I woke up because he was sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Adrian?" I whispered.
He didn't answer.
I sat up and turned on the lamp.
He was staring at the floor, his hands clenched.
"Adrian, what's wrong?"
He looked at me, his eyes red.
"I can't sleep."
"Come back to bed."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I keep thinking about Nadia. About the day she disappeared. About the way she smiled at me that morning."
I got out of bed and went to him.
I sat beside him and put my arm around his shoulders.
"Tell me about that morning."
He was quiet for a minute.
"She made coffee. She kissed me goodbye. She told me she loved me. She told Layla to be a good girl at daycare."
His voice broke on the last word.
I held him tighter.
"She was happy that morning," he said.
"Yes."
"I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her."
"I know."
He covered his face with his hands.
"I should have walked her to the car."
"Adrian, you couldn't have known."
"I should have."
"You couldn't have known."
He lowered his hands and looked at me.
"I miss her so much."
"I know."
"I miss her voice. I miss her laugh. I miss the way she said my name."
Tears were running down his face.
I wiped them with my thumb.
"I miss her too," I said.
"You never met her."
"I know her through you. Through Layla. I miss the woman who made you smile like that."
He nodded.
"I'm scared that if Karim goes free, I'll lose her all over again."
"You won't lose her. She'll always be part of us."
He nodded again.
I took his hand and led him back to bed.
We lay down.
I rested my head on his chest.
"Can I stay like this?" he asked.
"Yes."
He wrapped his arms around me.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We lay in silence for a while.
His breathing slowly slowed down.
His body relaxed.
A few minutes later, he was asleep.
I stayed awake, listening to his breathing, feeling his heart beat under my cheek.
At 6 a.m. he woke up.
"Did I keep you up?" he asked.
"A little."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
He kissed my forehead.
"Thank you for staying up with me."
"You're welcome."
We got up, made coffee, and ate breakfast together.
At 7 a.m. he left for work.
At 8 p.m. he came home.
He looked less tense than the night before.
"How was your day?" I asked.
"Better. Mr. Salem said Samira's written statement is solid."
"That's good."
"Yes."
I served dinner.
We ate.
After dinner, we sat on the couch.
"Lila," he said.
"Yes?"
"Thank you for last night."
"You're welcome."
"I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here."
"You would have been okay."
"No. I wouldn't."
He pulled me close and kissed me.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We sat on the couch until 10 p.m.
He went to his office.
I went to my room.
That night I opened the notebook.
*Day 106 – He couldn't sleep. He missed Nadia.*
Under it:
*She's Lila. I stayed with him.*
Thursday morning we woke up together.
We had coffee and breakfast together.
At 7 a.m. Adrian left for work.
At 8 p.m. he came home.
He looked calm.
"How was your day?" I asked.
"Good. Mr. Salem filed Samira's statement with the court."
"That's good."
"Yes."
I served dinner.
We ate.
After dinner, we sat on the couch.
"Lila," he said.
"Yes?"
"Thank you for being here with me."
"You're welcome."
He kissed my forehead.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We sat on the couch until 10 p.m.
He went to his office.
I went to my room.
That night I opened the notebook.
*Day 107 – Samira's statement is filed with the court.*
Under it:
*She's Lila. She's my wife.*
Friday morning we woke up together.
We had coffee and breakfast together.
At 7 a.m. Adrian left for work.
At 4 p.m. Mrs. Cole texted: *Layla is asking for you.*
I replied: *I'll see her tomorrow.*
*Mrs. Cole: She's been talking about you all day.*
I smiled.
At 8 p.m. Adrian came home.
He hugged me.
"How was your day?" I asked.
"Good."
"How was work?"
"Good. The lawyers are preparing for the trial."
"Good."
I served dinner.
We ate.
After dinner, we sat on the couch.
"Lila," he said.
"Yes?"
"Thank you for being my wife."
"You're welcome."
He kissed my forehead.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We sat on the couch until 10 p.m.
He went to his office.
I went to my room.
That night I opened the notebook.
*Day 108 – The lawyers are preparing for the trial.*
Under it:
*She's Lila. She's my wife.*
I closed the notebook.
I went to bed.
Adrian was already in bed.
I got in next to him.
He put his arm around me.
"Good night, wife."
"Good night, husband."
He kissed my forehead.
I fell asleep.
The trial was in twenty days.
Adrian was still nervous, but he wasn't drowning in it anymore.
I was here.
I was holding him.
I was his wife.