The woman noticed. "I—I just said you were a hot couple."
"As in—you find him attractive?"
"Well, I mean, duh—who wouldn't?" the young woman laughed. "He's about as hot as—"
Vladira's hand extended so quickly that Alaric barely had time to stop her, catching her wrist just as a sharp nail nearly pierced the woman's throat.
"What are you doing?! We just arrived here, you madwoman!"
The Countess pouted at him with big, misty eyes. "I don't like her, Laric. Can I eat this one?"
"No. And don't call me Laric. What a deplorable nickname."
"W-what?" Carol squeaked. "Eat me? Sexually or—?"
Alaric made eye contact with Jack.
"I mean, I'm pretty flexible—" the young man started.
"No one is eating anyone, sexually or otherwise," Alaric grunted. "I just wanted to ask—"
Vladira groaned and cut him off. "Darling please, they know we're suspicious. They'll report us to the local authorities and make all kinds of trouble. We have to kill them now—starting with her." She glared at the
other woman, who let out a scream.
Alaric found himself covering the woman's mouth and weakly headlocking her to keep her from ripping herself away from him, but that only made her scream louder.
"There's no need to make a scene. No one is
going to hurt anyone!" Seeing Alaric subdue his mate, the one called Jack honorably started pounding fists into Alaric in alarm, shouting the whole time, but it was more like the soft pitter-patter of rain than the blows of a worthy foe.
When Jack tired himself out, Vladira grabbed him by the nape and tossed him several feet back, sending him rolling along the pavement.
"No more violence!" Alaric shouted at last.
"No one is killing or reporting anyone, right?" he looked at the scared woman in front of him.
When she nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks, Alaric freed her and turned to Vladira, repeating the word. "Right?"
Vladira sighed. "Very well. Listen close, you two, look me in the eyes."
Alaric sighed as he watched Vladira perform her admittedly necessary work. "The two of you will walk away now and forget about this encounter. Also, woman, you do not find my Darling attractive, nor will you ever again. In fact, you can't even see him. He doesn't exist. You are undyingly loving and loyal to your own man. Stay far, far away from mine."
Alaric rolled his eyes at this behavior, but he was more confused than annoyed. The Vladira of legend was turning out to be something of a disappointment. Did she truly think she could get him to believe she
harbored affection for him?
Was possessive of him? If she was possessive, he mused, it was only because allowing him to have a life outside her put
him beyond her control.
"Yes, Mistress," Jack and Carol muttered together, answering the Blood Princess's command, their pupils dilated. Moments later, they stumbled away, and Alaric let out a weary sigh.
"What the Hell is wrong with you? Why are you pulling a stunt like that?! If I didn't know better, I'd say you acted like an obsessive bride. I'm not fooled by these—"
"What's wrong with me?!" she gasped, her hand clutching her breast.
"What's wrong with you, acting like a fat-cocked gigolo in front of every woman we meet?! Honestly, how are we supposed to get anything accomplished if you keep trying to whore yourself out to each and every
creature with a pussy we come across?!"
To this, he was silenced. The madness she just vomited was so nonsensical, so baseless, that he simply had no words. But he found some anyway, after a slack-jawed pause:
"You are insane," he said, furrowing his
brow in a mix of anger and confusion.
Vladira crossed her arms and spun, facing her back to him. "Humph!" she protested.
"Don't 'humph' me, you witch of twilight," Alaric murmured. "You are the one acting without reason."
She spun back around to face him, her scowl irritatingly adorable. "I don't know what you're talking about, Voss. I'm acting very reasonably. I'm trying to keep focused on our objective while you waste the night away, galavanting your superior figure in front of any and every woman you can! Well, the crier has news for you, Alaric! I won't tolerate it! We have to get me a coffin, and we need to—to—" She gestured broadly at his exposed chest.
"We are going to cover every inch of you up until I'm satisfied."
"You are demented," he said. "If I could punch you without harming myself I would." He paused in thought. "Actually, it may very well be worth the pain."
She grinned, her expression resetting into her default mischief. "I knew it wouldn't be long before you started fantasizing about getting your hands all over me once more, you horny beast."
"That is…a gross mischaracterization of my comment," he murmured, gesturing at the gas station.
"I have gathered that people find my lack of attire unsettling. I can't blame them—it would be similarly upsetting to walk shirtless into a place of business in our time, so I agree with you, for what it's worth. Finding some clothes will help avoid unneeded attention."
"In your time," she corrected him, wagging her finger. "I am a creature who is at home in all eras. But yes—let's get you some clothes."
"Now—with what money?" Alaric asked.
"That's the problem."
"Charlotte gave me some money out of her safe—oh, don't worry, I won't let her business fail. That would draw attention to us or, at the very least, force us to relocate," she said when she noticed Alaric's unamused face.
"I told her to treat it as an advance toward my upcoming weekend shifts, like you proposed. Good thinking, by the way, Darling." She licked her lips and smiled at him again.
"Hmm. Very well. Do not mistreat that poor woman."
Vladira's brow twitched, and her claws came out. "Why are you so obsessed with me treating her well, exactly?"
"I am sympathetic to commoners," Alaric replied, his shoulders bouncing and voice nearly exasperated.