Chapter 88: This is Not Called Cheating
"Ishiyama?!"
Ben's voice cracked, echoing across the digital landscape. He stared at the towering samurai, his eyes practically sparkling with cartoonish stars.
"You know me?" Ishiyama blinked, his thick brow furrowing in genuine confusion. He looked down at the small boy, having absolutely no memory of ever crossing paths with this particular warrior.
Ben practically vibrated in place, stepping closer. "Know you? You are my second most admired idol in the entire world! I have all your stats memorized! Weight: five hundred and twenty-seven pounds! Combat power: level seven! Intelligence: level nine! Magic power: level eight! I eat three bags of Sumo Slammers Smackers a day just trying to pull your ultra-rare foil card!"
Seeing Ben draw in a massive breath to continue his fanboy rant, Klein quickly stepped forward and clamped a hand over his cousin's mouth.
"Alright, alright, dial it back," Klein sighed, giving Ben a pointed look. "Keep talking like that and he's going to think you're a stalker. Give the guy some personal space."
Ben immediately snapped his mouth shut, miming the motion of zipping his lips and throwing away the key. He then offered Ishiyama a wide, slightly unhinged smile.
"Let's table the fan club meeting for now," Klein said, shifting his gaze to the samurai. "Ishiyama, do you happen to know a shortcut to the next level? Our transport ferry just blew up." He gestured vaguely toward the smoldering digital wreckage floating in the water behind them, shrugging helplessly.
Ishiyama nodded slowly, his stoic demeanor returning. "I do know of a sacred place that bridges the paths to any level. However, the journey there is fraught with perilous trials."
As the legendary hero of the game, Ishiyama had always held a deep respect for fellow warriors who proved their mettle. Seeing their determination, he didn't hesitate to share the location, even stepping forward to offer his guidance. "I shall lead the way."
"That's great and all," Gwen interrupted, pointing a finger toward the perimeter. "But shouldn't we deal with the welcoming committee first?"
Dozens of heavily armored Sumo Robots were marching out from the bamboo thickets, their mechanical joints whirring as they formed a tight, hostile circle around the group.
Klein clicked his tongue. Having lost his long-range weapons earlier in the level, he was currently stuck in the exact same predicament as Ben. The two of them were forced to sprint around the clearing, dodging heavy metallic stomps and sweeping strikes.
Gwen, on the other hand, was holding her own, gracefully flipping backward while hurling a barrage of energy darts that sparked against the robots' armor.
Meanwhile, Ishiyama was a one-man army. Despite lacking traditional ranged weapons, the samurai possessed a seemingly endless arsenal of abilities. He transformed his mass, hurled enemies into the sky, and slammed his foot into the earth to send devastating shockwaves rippling through the robotic ranks.
Klein skidded to a halt, narrowly avoiding a mechanical fist. He watched Ishiyama unleash another flashy combo and let out a long, exasperated breath.
"Why does the NPC get a fully unlocked skill tree?" Klein muttered, deeply displeased.
He refused to keep running in circles. Losing a game was one thing, but playing it in such a frustratingly passive way was completely unacceptable.
Klein pivoted on his heel, facing the advancing wall of Sumo Robots. He reached down and drew the standard-issue longsword from his waist.
"Eat steel, you oversized toasters!"
With a sharp twist of his hips, Klein hurled the longsword like a javelin. The blade whistled through the air and buried itself hilt-deep into the chest plate of a charging Sumo Robot. The machine sparked, sputtered, and exploded into a shower of digital pixels.
"Ten points!" Klein cheered, throwing both hands into the air in a victory pose, completely ignoring the bewildered look on Ben's face.
Ben stared at the dissipating pixels, utterly baffled. He had never considered that the game's mechanics allowed you to just throw your primary weapon away. Recovering from his shock, he looked at Klein with mounting panic.
"Cousin, that was awesome, but now your sword is gone! You can't exactly throw it a second time!"
Klein lowered his arms and turned to Ben, a slow, highly suspicious smile spreading across his face. "Sure I can. I have one more."
Ben blinked. "You do?"
Before Ben could process the situation, Klein reached over, snatched the sword straight out of Ben's scabbard, and launched it across the clearing. It struck true, impaling another Sumo Robot right between its glowing optical sensors. Another explosion of pixels followed.
"Cousin! What are we supposed to do now?!" Ben shrieked, looking down at his empty hands. The mechanical horde was only growing thicker, their heavy footsteps shaking the ground. They were completely boxed in.
Klein remained the picture of absolute calm. They all had three lives remaining anyway, so there was zero reason to panic.
"Ben, you need to understand something," Klein said smoothly, his tone like a wise teacher imparting a deep life lesson. "Sometimes, knowing how to adapt your strategy isn't cheating. It is simply maintaining the game's delicate balance. Look at us. The developers left us with absolutely nothing. How are we expected to enjoy this gaming experience?"
Ben listened to this flawless logic, his brain tying itself into a knot. Somehow, against all reason, he found himself nodding in agreement with Klein's blatant justification for breaking the game.
"Here. Maintain some balance."
Klein reached behind his back, plunging his hand into an inventory space that definitely did not belong in a feudal Japanese setting, and pulled out a heavy, gleaming Desert Eagle. He tossed it casually to Ben.
Ben fumbled to catch the heavy firearm, staring dumbfounded at the cold metal in his hands. Even with his limited knowledge of history, he was fairly certain the developers of Sumo Slammers hadn't programmed semi-automatic handguns into the Edo period. A traditional samurai holding a Desert Eagle looked fundamentally wrong on every conceivable level.
Ben slowly raised his head. "What about you, Cousin?"
"Me?" Klein smirked. "I'll make do."
With a flick of his wrist, Klein reached back into the void and hauled out a massive, multi-barreled Gatling gun.
Da da da da da da!
A deafening roar shattered the serene digital landscape. A relentless hail of heavy-caliber bullets swept across the clearing in a sweeping arc, tearing through the Sumo Robots like wet paper. Mechanical limbs and armor plating shattered into thousands of glowing pixels, raining down like digital confetti.
"By the ancestors... what kind of warrior is this?!" Ishiyama stood frozen, his jaw completely slack. "Such terrifying bravery!"
The sheer, overwhelming firepower of the Gatling gun left the legendary samurai questioning everything he knew about combat.
...
Before long, the clearing was completely empty, and the group resumed their journey.
Unfortunately for the boys, the firearms were no longer in their possession. Gwen had quickly noticed the anachronistic weapons and confiscated them, lecturing them about breaking the game's code.
They had, however, managed to retrieve their discarded swords from the digital wreckage.
As they walked along a winding dirt path, Gwen slowed her pace, letting Ishiyama walk ahead. She quietly tugged on Ben's sleeve, pulling him back a step.
"Hey, Dweeb," Gwen whispered, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. "Earlier, you said Ishiyama was your second most admired idol. So who takes the number one spot?"
Gwen genuinely hadn't expected Ben, a kid whose entire personality often revolved around his obsession with Sumo Slammers, to place anyone above the game's main hero.
Ben looked at her as if she had just asked the stupidest question in the world. "Cousin Klein, obviously. I mean, no matter how cool Ishiyama is, he's just a bunch of code and pixels. He's a game character. Did you seriously think I didn't know the difference between a game and real life?"
Up ahead, Ishiyama's ears twitched. He turned his head, looking back at Ben with a deeply confused expression. "What game?"
"Nothing! He was just saying... uh... how much game you have! In battle! Very skillful!" Gwen quickly waved her hands in the air, flashing a strained, innocent smile to gloss over the near fourth-wall break.
Ishiyama grunted, seemingly accepting the strange compliment, and turned his attention back to the path ahead.
But amidst the distraction, none of them noticed the dark, shifting shadow that peeled itself off the ground behind a nearby tree, quietly slipping away into the bamboo forest.
It was worth mentioning that the journey was not entirely without reward. Along the path, Ben stumbled upon a glowing, wondrous treasure box. Smashing it open revealed a floating green Omnitrix coin, which immediately unlocked his ability to transform into Four Arms.
A few miles later, Gwen found a similar treasure box, which granted her a beautifully crafted energy bow.
Klein, however, found absolutely nothing. He spent the next mile walking in silence, mentally calculating the best opportunity to exploit the game's code and cheat again to make up for the terrible loot drop rates.
...
After handling a series of winding mountain trails, the group finally arrived at their destination: the towering, majestic gates of Katami Palace.
The interior of the palace was vast and dimly lit, dominated by a massive, imposing statue of a tanuki sitting cross-legged in the center of the main hall.
The moment they stepped onto the polished wooden floor, the tanuki statue's eyes flared with a mystical light. A booming, echoing voice filled the room, reciting a complex, cryptic riddle that clearly served as the password to unlock the gateway to the other levels.
When the voice finally faded, silence stretched across the hall.
Ben stood there, his mouth slightly open, looking utterly bewildered. "Uh... did any of you catch that?"
Gwen crossed her arms and shook her head, looking just as stumped. Ishiyama mirrored the gesture, his stoic face betraying a hint of frustration at the complex wordplay.
With no other options, Ben turned his hopeful gaze toward the oldest member of their party. "What about you, Cousin? You always know this stuff."
Klein didn't respond. He was standing perfectly still, his head bowed, completely engrossed in something in his hands.
Ben walked over and waved a hand in front of Klein's face. "Cousin? Hello? Earth to Cousin?"
"Don't bother me right now! I'm looking up the walkthrough!" Klein snapped, casually swatting Ben's hand away without looking up.
Ben's eyes widened in shock. "This game has a walkthrough guide?!"
Klein finally looked up, staring at Ben with a mixture of pity and deep exasperation. "You bought the game yourself and you didn't even know? It was literally a freebie tucked inside the game case. Do you just rip the plastic off and throw everything else in the trash?"
Ben rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, shaking his head. The moment he had gotten his hands on the game, he had shoved the disc into the console without a second thought.
Ishiyama listened to this bizarre exchange, his brow furrowing deeper. 'Walkthrough? Game case? Plastic?' The words sounded like absolute gibberish to the noble samurai.
Gwen, however, stayed focused on the problem at hand. "So, Cousin, did you find the answer to the riddle?"
"I haven't flipped to the right section yet," Klein muttered, licking his thumb and turning a page of the thick, glossy strategy guide he had manifested. He scanned the text, then suddenly stopped. His eye twitched. "Oh my god. Who tore this page out?!"
Klein stared in disbelief at the jagged edge near the spine of the book. The specific page detailing the Katami Palace puzzle was completely missing. The guide was incomplete.
At the word 'tore', Ben flinched. A look of sudden, horrifying realization washed over his face.
"Uh..." Ben took a slow step backward, avoiding eye contact. "Last week, when I was eating that greasy chili burger in the RV... I couldn't find any paper towels, so I kind of..."
A heavy, suffocating silence descended upon the grand hall.
Gwen opened her mouth, fully prepared to unleash a blistering lecture about hygiene and destroying property, but she never got the chance.
Without warning, Klein lunged forward.
He tackled Gwen to the polished floor just as the ceiling above them shattered. A massive, vicious dragon crashed down into the hall, its scales gleaming with dark energy. The beast roared, its serpentine body whipping through the air before tightly coiling around Ishiyama, lifting the heavy samurai off the ground.
Based on where they had been standing, Gwen would have been caught in the crushing coils as well, had Klein not shoved her out of the drop zone. As for Ishiyama, Klein later claimed the man was simply too heavy to push in time.
"Let him go, Kenko!" Ben shouted, immediately recognizing the shapeshifting villain from his countless hours of gameplay.
Kenko, maintaining his terrifying dragon form, ignored the boy and locked his glowing, reptilian eyes onto Klein and the others. His voice hissed through the hall, dripping with desperate malice.
"Tell me the truth, outsiders! What does the word 'game' mean?! Does it mean this entire world is nothing but a fabrication?! A toy?! Tell me how to cross over into the real world! Tell me now, or your precious hero loses his life!"
To emphasize his threat, Kenko constricted his massive coils. Ishiyama let out a strained grunt, his armor groaning under the immense pressure.
Klein pushed himself off the floor, dusting off his clothes with agonizing slowness. He looked up at the giant, threatening dragon and let out a dry, unimpressed sigh.
"Who exactly are you trying to fool with this hostage routine?" Klein asked calmly, his voice echoing in the quiet hall. "He clearly still has three lives left."
Ben and Gwen, who had been tense and ready for a fight, suddenly blinked. The panic drained from their faces as the game's mechanics clicked in their heads.
Klein was absolutely right. Even if Kenko crushed Ishiyama into pixels right now, the samurai would just instantly respawn at the last checkpoint. The dramatic tension in the room evaporated completely.
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