Nami shut the door behind them with a sharp motion, as if she wanted to lock the chaos outside. The small house smelled of damp wood and dried oranges. An oil lamp cast trembling shadows over the nautical charts pinned to the walls.
"Not a sound," she whispered, her voice low and tense. "Fish-men have sharp hearing. If they hear you… it's over."
SpongeBob sat down on the floor, eyes shining, but Nami silenced him with an icy glare.
Bugs Bunny settled into a chair without a word, chewing his carrot as quietly as possible.
Elian leaned against the wall, his violet glow dimmed.
"Explain quickly. Who are they exactly?"
Nami took a deep breath, her gaze dark.
"They're called the Arlong Pirates. Arlong is a sawshark fish-man, their captain. He believes humans are inferior beings, barely good enough to pay taxes or serve as slaves. His officers—Kuroobi, Chew, Hatchan—are just as arrogant. They extort us every month. Those who protest are beaten or killed. Me… I draw maps for them. That's the only reason I'm still alive."
Popeye tightened his grip on his pipe but said nothing. Droopy sighed softly.
Suddenly, heavy, webbed footsteps echoed outside. Deep, cold voices, devoid of any trace of humor.
Nami froze.
"Hide. Now."
The group obeyed quickly:
• SpongeBob pressed himself against the wall like a decorative sponge.
• Bugs Bunny, Popeye, Road Runner, Droopy, and Elian tucked themselves into the dark corners.
• Elian created a thin violet mist to make them nearly transparent.
Only Tom and Jerry, thrilled by the danger, remained out in the open, hidden behind a crate, ready to strike.
The door burst open.
Three fish-men entered: two imposing guards and an officer with blue skin and ray-like fins—Kuroobi. He swept the room with a contemptuous gaze, his eyes cold and calculating.
"We received a report, human," Kuroobi said in a low, arrogant voice, without raising his tone. "Strange smells. Ridiculous noises. …Terrestrial creatures. Arlong does not appreciate anomalies on his island. Humans are already pathetic enough when they stay quiet. If they bring vermin with them, we will crush them accordingly."
One of the guards sniffed the air with disdain.
"Humans are weak and insignificant. If they dare hide anything, they'll pay the price for their stupidity."
Nami remained calm, though her voice trembled slightly.
"I was just organizing my maps. Nothing unusual."
Kuroobi stepped forward, dominating the room with his imposing size.
"You lie poorly, Nami. Arlong spared your life because you're useful. Don't force us to reconsider that mercy. Humans who hide intruders always end up feeding the sharks."
That's when Jerry, from his hiding spot, rolled a small piece of orange peel that tapped against Kuroobi's webbed foot.
The fish-man slowly lowered his gaze, his expression shifting from contempt to cold, contained anger.
"What the—"
Tom sprang like a coiled spring, claws fully extended, landing directly on the nearest guard's head. He dug his claws into the gills and pulled with all his strength.
The guard screamed in pain, shocked by the ridiculous attack. He tried to grab the cat, but Tom leapt onto the second guard, scratching his face while howling like a demon.
Jerry zigzagged between the fish-men's massive legs at incredible speed. Every time a guard tried to stomp him, Jerry slipped between their webbed toes, making the colossus stumble with diabolical precision.
Kuroobi stepped back, his gaze icy.
"Animals? Terrestrial vermin daring to touch fish-men? Pathetic. You're not even worthy of being crushed by our hands."
He launched a powerful Fish-Man Karate strike, precise and brutal, aimed at Tom. But the cat dodged by sliding over a puddle of seawater, then jumped onto Kuroobi's back and bit his ear.
Jerry seized the distraction to climb onto a shelf and knock down a stack of rolled maps like batons onto the guards' heads.
Chaos erupted—yet remained absurd and cartoonish:
• Tom slipped on an orange peel, crashed into a guard's chest, and sent him flying into the wall.
• Jerry used Tom's tail like an improvised lasso to trip Kuroobi.
• When a guard grabbed Jerry, Tom leapt onto his arm and bit him until he let go. Jerry then ran along the ceiling and dropped a coconut that exploded on the fish-man's head.
• The duo chased each other while harassing the fish-men: Jerry darted between legs, Tom bounced off heads, using them as trampolines and obstacles.
Kuroobi, furious yet maintaining his cold, controlled arrogance, spat through his teeth:
"These creatures… are nothing. Insignificant insects. We will drown them in their own ridiculousness."
But every serious, brutal attempt by the fish-men was countered by absurd dodges or cartoonish bad luck. One guard threw a powerful punch… but Tom slipped between his legs while Jerry tripped him with an imaginary clothesline. The fish-man crashed flat onto the floor.
Finally, after several minutes of this destructive ballet, the three fish-men—covered in scratches, bruises, and orange peels—retreated toward the door, panting and humiliated.
Kuroobi fixed them with a cold, contemptuous stare, his voice low and threatening:
"This is only an insignificant delay. We will report this to Arlong himself. These… things, and this human, will pay for their insolence. Fish-men do not tolerate being ridiculed by terrestrial vermin. Arlong will decide their fate. And he will not be merciful."
The three fish-men slammed the door behind them and left, their heavy, webbed footsteps echoing into the night as they headed toward Arlong Park.
Silence fell over the house.
Tom and Jerry, exhausted but victorious, shook hands… before immediately resuming their usual chase across the wrecked room.
Nami stared at the scene, speechless, caught between shock and a flicker of something that almost resembled hope.
Elian stepped out of the violet mist, a smile on his lips.
"They're gone… for now. They're going to tell Arlong everything."
Nami clenched her fists, determination in her eyes despite the fear tightening her throat.
"You just humiliated Arlong's officers. They'll come back. With him. And they'll be even more serious. Even more cruel."
Bugs Bunny calmly chewed his carrot.
"Then we better prepare a welcome worthy of the occasion."
Nami took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on the door.
"…You're all insane. But if those two managed to push them back… maybe we have a small chance."
Outside, the fish-men's rough shouts faded into the distance, heading toward Arlong Park. They were going to report the incident. And Arlong was not going to like it.
Elian extended his hand to Nami.
"Ready to see how far ridiculousness can go when Arlong shows up?"
Nami hesitated, then slowly nodded.
"As long as we ridicule those arrogant bastards… yes."
***
The three fish-men—Kuroobi leading, still marked with scratches and bits of orange peel stuck to his fins—pushed open the heavy door of Arlong Park. The salty, damp air of the park echoed with drops of water falling from the ceiling. Arlong sat on his makeshift throne, an old sunken ship, legs crossed, his saw-nose gleaming in the dim torchlight.
Kuroobi stepped forward, head held high. He bowed just enough to show respect.
"Arlong-san, we have a problem. At Nami's place. Creatures. Not human. Not fish-men. A black cat and a gray mouse. They attacked us. No reason. No fear."
Arlong raised an eyebrow. His smile widened slowly. He burst into a harsh laugh—Shahahaha!—that made the walls shake.
"A cat? A mouse? You three, my officers, are telling me garden pests beat you up? Shahahaha! Have you been drinking swamp water or what?"
One of the guards lowered his eyes, still out of breath.
"It wasn't normal, Arlong-san. The cat… it jumps everywhere, claws like crazy, slides on the water like it's nothing. The mouse… it zigzags, slips between our legs, knocks things on our heads. We tried to crush them—Fish-Man Karate, everything. But they dodge. They humiliate us. And Nami… she protects them. She didn't move."
Kuroobi clenched his fists, his ray-fins twitching slightly.
"They're ridiculous, yes. But dangerous. They turned our patrol into a farce. If we let this slide, humans will think they can defy us. Arlong-san… there's also a purple kid. And a yellow sponge bouncing like a ball. And a rabbit that keeps eating carrots. We don't know where they came from."
Arlong leaned forward, his saw-nose pointed like a blade. His eyes narrowed, anger rising, yet he kept a cold calm.
"Talking animals. A purple kid. A sponge. And Nami hiding all this. Shahahaha… Does she think I'm blind? Humans are weak, but these… things… they dare touch us. Me. The fish-men. The superior race."
He rose slowly, massive, dominating the room. The torches crackled.
"Kuroobi. Chew. Hatchan. You three will return there. With ten more. No mercy. No quarter. Crush those vermin. Bring me Nami—bound if necessary. And if she resists… tell her her debt just increased. One million beri per second we lose because of her."
Kuroobi nodded, teeth clenched.
"Understood, Arlong-san. These pests… they'll regret daring."
Arlong chuckled again, lower this time.
"And Kuroobi… if you fail again… it's you I will crush. Shahahaha."
The three bowed, then left. Outside, cries could already be heard—the other fish-men were preparing. The torches were being lit. Arlong sat back down, a wicked smile on his lips, awaiting the spectacle.