/POP Sana ???/
Sana with tired eyes lay on the bed. He took a long sigh, he didn't move, he just lay in his dark room. No light, no hope, nothing. Just a feeling of death inside this room. Sana had a sad, depressed face. He had lost hope in living... Everything seemed meaningless. He felt so lonely...
[I wish I had never been born into this world, I wish I had never been forced to exist in this pathetic world, what a pain to be Gen Z today. I hate this world, fucking money, no jobs, just a cruel world we're living in. I'm sorry mother, I really want to end my life now. I don't want to continue living anymore. I'm sorry, I'm so weak just complaining about the world, so lazy, so pathetic...]
He closed his eyes while tears overflowed onto his pillow."Huhuhu... why is life so hard to live,.. so lonely nowadays,.."
After a while he continued listening to more videos from a YouTube channel named Born Into A Corrupt System.
"So much to life. There's so many things in life, and that's our only purpose is making money. There's nothing else besides that...." [YouTube]
Sana read the comments."I'm not bringing any child into this hell capitalism, being sober sucks. You see life for what it is. Boring. lol,... This life is shit.. it's too hard for our disease-ridden meat sacks to handle, it's traumatizing, it's pointless, having religion threatening you with hell if you don't conform to the belief system. I will be happy when I die, the only reason I'm still alive is because I have legs and arms and a heart and I'm too afraid to off myself. Other than that, I can't wait until I'm out of this shit hole."
Sana spoke emotionlessly."... I ... want... to ... DIE... To.. be... free... from ... this ... HELL." he threw his phone at the wall and it broke immediately. He felt very tired and exhausted after that anger about the truth of life, he believed he had awakened to the forbidden truth of this system world. To him, people around him were so stupid for believing in illusions, they accepted the system to feel happiness.
Sana looked at the clock."How pathetic, stupid people living today."
[I want to do something better before I end this pathetic life. I don't want to go to military service in Vietnam, that's a true tragic nightmare. Maybe I will kill someone if I'm in that situation. I don't want to become a murderer because of my stress toward other people.]
He tried hard to pick up his broken phone. Luckily it still worked, his hand bleeding from the broken screen on the phone. Sana didn't feel any pain from it. To him pain was only temporary, maybe he would die soon to end this meaningless existence.
He opened YouTube again to watch more things to avoid nihilism. And then he watched a beautiful girl from Korea. She was really beautiful, her voice sweet. The more he thought about it, the more depressed he became.
[Fucking unfair, why am I so ugly, why was I born in this nightmare country. Vietnam, I really want to love my country but still... I hate the feeling of being assimilated into the hive mind of Vietnamese society... I want to be myself like British guys.]
He threw the phone again and talked to himself."No one will care about a guy like me, so hopeless. Why do I still keep living in this hell? Why is life so unfair? Because I don't try hard enough? Because I'm so lazy, so stupid? They are just human like me, but why is this life so unfair? Why? Why?" Sana started crying...
Time had passed and Sana had fallen asleep unknowingly. When he woke up nothing had changed much about this nightmare existence. He looked around."..."
In his room, it was just dark. No light, no hope. There was only sad nightcore music he was listening to while hiding his cries and loneliness inside this cursed world. The music came from the clock on the wall. He really didn't have the mind to think about this weird thing. In his mind right now there was only deep darkness where nothing mattered anymore.
He always asked himself why he existed in this meaningless world just to suffer...
[What a funny life I have.]
Sana talked to himself."Maybe I haven't tried hard enough to see the results, is that why I give up so easily? I am trying to create meaning in this life through suffering... but there is nothing really meaningful because my life has sucked since the first moment I was born into this world. My family, relatives sucked, my childhood sucked, they always treated me like a tool, betrayed me, forced me, manipulated me, stabbed knives behind my back... I'm not human, just a monster..."
Sana sat, leaning his head against the wall... He really didn't want to do anything, just listened to nightcore slowed songs... He really didn't want to think about anything else.
~ Violins playing and the angels crying / When the stars align then I'll be there / No, I don't care about them all / 'Cause all I want is to be loved ~ Loreen - Tattoo
With a sad face, Sana says:"Maybe death is the better way, right?" Sana grins in a crazy way.
His blurry eyes look at the dark room... and then he slowly stands up and goes to the door in a heavy way, struggling to maintain his body to end his life, but he is still too scared to look at the world of light. His hand trembles while holding the door handle. He feels his dark world feels better...
And then he collapses onto the ground in front of the door. He just lies on the ground while the clock goes "click, click." Sana looks at the clock. Something changes his mind. He goes to the clock hanging on the high wall, trying with all the energy left in his life.
Like a crazy man who has lost everything, he destroys it because he's so annoyed by its sound..."Smash,..."
And then everything collapses. He feels like he has been trapped in an illusion by someone. His head feels painful while the whole world turns upside down."Arrrr..."
Sana finds himself meeting another version of himself. In front of him is a Sana who has been suffering for 500 years.
A man who looked like a god stood there with an angry face while staring at Sana. Sana lowered his head with a gesture like Roland from PGR and spoke in a happy voice."Please kill me... to end this meaningless life, dear my Reaper."
The man calms his anger, stops his power, and then moves closer to the young man, holding his face with a cold voice."Death is too easy for your sins. I will bring your soul to the Reaper. Endless pain with fire..."
Sana trembles. For the first time he is scared of death. His voice trembles while looking into the strong eyes of another version of himself."Are you kidding me? Why torment me like that huhuhu.." He cries out.