As if it could hear Shion's thoughts vowing to squeeze every single drop of advantage out of the System, the transparent blue interface suddenly blinked brightly in front of his face.
The mechanical voice that never failed to make Shion's blood pressure spike echoed in his skull once again. It seemed the System was handing out a punishment... er, meant an opportunity.
[Ding! A Date Invitation from a Sweet Girl!]
[Description: Because the Host possesses a burning passion and requested a mission, this kind, loving, and understanding System will provide a special mission! Ask Minato Namikaze out for a dinner for two tonight!]
[Reward: Pocket Dimension.]
[Function: Can store any object with infinite capacity. Time inside this dimension is frozen, so food will not spoil and weapons will not rust. (Note: Only applies to inanimate objects).]
A smile almost bloomed on Shion's lips. His previously dim eyes now sparkled slightly. 'A Pocket Dimension! This is absolutely fantastic! I won't have to bother carrying heavy storage scrolls or tying a kunai pouch to my thigh anymore. This is an ability on par with Obito's Kamui! With this, I can monopolize battlefield logistics!'
But... right before he could truly rejoice and jump for joy, his eyes drifted down to read the final line of the reward's description. His smile froze instantly, and his eyes immediately turned into those of a dead fish that had lost all the light of life.
[Item Name / Dimension Access: "The Skirt That Holds Everything!"]
[Usage Description: Simply lift your mini skirt slightly, reach your hand into the Absolute Territory (Zettai Ryouiki) area, and pull out or store any weapon you need just like a magic pocket! Practical, elegant, and guaranteed to leave your enemies stunned in awe before they die! Isn't this wonderful?]
Shion: "..."
The point was: now the bottom of his super-short sailor skirt functioned exactly like Doraemon's magic pouch.
Imagining himself in the future... in the middle of an epic, bloody, and lethal battlefield... the enemy attacks with a giant elemental ninjutsu that could destroy mountains... and Shion, a brave Konoha Shinobi (Kunoichi, forcefully corrected by the System flashing red in his mind), would have to strike a cute pose like a magical girl anime character, lift the hem of his own skirt, reach into his crotch, and pull out a giant sword or dozens of shuriken from his underwear...
'Damn it... This world is truly sick,' Shion cursed in his mind with a barely audible voice. 'I'd rather die stabbed by a kunai on the front lines than have to do that in front of the Iwagakure army.'
He raised his arms, trembling from holding back his overflowing emotions. He covered his eyes, which were now brimming with tears of despair, with the back of his hands.
His body shook violently. This wasn't the trembling of sorrow from a crushing defeat by Minato, but rather the trembling of a man whose pride had just been shredded, burned, and scattered into the sea by a cursed System.
Seeing Shion suddenly bow his head, his shoulders shaking, sobbing while covering his tear-stained face, Minato instantly felt worried. The Yellow Flash, who never flinched when facing dozens of enemies at once, was now panicking in the face of a single crying 'girl'.
"S-Shion-san? Did I fight too hard? Are you badly hurt? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—" Minato reached out his hand, hesitating to touch Shion's shoulder, feeling incredibly guilty for thinking he had pushed the tough girl too far.
However, before Minato could finish his comforting sentence, Shion suddenly lowered his hands. His red, teary eyes glared sharply at Minato. The frustration, the anger at the system, and the panic over the mission deadline caused Shion's rational brain to temporarily short-circuit.
Unfiltered by common sense, the words tumbled out of his mouth in a high, fast, and snappy tone.
"As a thank you for being willing to waste your time training me today, I'm going to treat you to dinner! But listen closely, don't get the wrong idea and don't think of this as a date or anything! This is purely just a token of gratitude from a junior to a senior! Don't let it get to your head!" Shion yelled, his face flushed completely red, partly from the remnants of his tears, and mostly because he couldn't bear his own embarrassment.
Minato: "..."
Shion: "..."
A silence far more awkward than before blanketed Training Ground Number 7 once again. The evening breeze blew a single dry leaf that drifted slowly between them, as if mocking the situation.
Minato stood frozen. The transition was too extreme. From a fragile girl sobbing over her defeat, she had suddenly turned into a fierce tigress shooting off a dinner invitation in a demanding tone. Minato's blue eyes blinked a few times, processing this barrage of absurd events.
Meanwhile, inside Shion's head, danger alarms were blaring deafeningly. 'Wait... what did I just say?! My tone of voice... my words just now...'
Shion's eyes slowly widened in horror. He just realized that his words, combined with his still-blushing face, the tears in the corners of his eyes, and his slightly pouting lips, sounded and looked exactly one hundred percent like a low-tier Tsundere stereotype from a cheap romance novel!
'NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I just wanted to quickly finish this damn mission so I could claim the reward! Why did I sound like a girl too proud to admit her feelings to the man of her dreams?! ARGHHH!' Shion screamed hysterically in his mind, clawing at the walls of his own sanity.
However, the damage was done and irreparable. Minato, initially shocked, slowly softened his expression. The genius man, who was sometimes incredibly naive in matters of the heart, began forming his own conclusions in his head.
'Ah... I understand now,' Minato thought, smiling with understanding and sympathy. 'She must feel very embarrassed for crying in front of me. She is a tough kunoichi who holds her pride high, so showing her weak side must make her feel awkward. And this dinner invitation... she's just trying to find an excuse to break the ice and make up without looking like she's begging. What a clumsy yet sweet girl.'
Minato's smile bloomed perfectly, radiating the aura of a golden-hearted hero that would blind anyone with its handsomeness.
"I understand, Shion-san," Minato answered in an incredibly gentle voice, as if speaking to a frightened kitten. "Thank you very much for the offer. I gladly accept your token of gratitude. As a matter of fact, I haven't put anything in my stomach since returning from the border."
Hearing Minato's overly understanding and gentle response, Shion's face burned even hotter. Minato's reaction absolutely confirmed that the man had completely misunderstood his intentions!
"G-good that you understand! Don't you dare tell anyone about this, or I'll seal all your chakra points!" Shion threatened defensively, turning his head sharply to the side while crossing his arms. His mini skirt fluttered slightly in rhythm with his movement. He marched off with stiff, robotic steps like a wooden puppet. "Hurry up! I'm already hungry!"
'Please, just take my life right now,' Shion cried internally, while his physical body continued walking with a humiliatingly haughty stride.
The walk to the center of Konoha village felt like a torture march to the execution block for Shion. The sky began turning a reddish-orange as the sun set. Streetlights flickered on, illuminating the village streets that were getting busy with civilians and shinobi seeking dinner.
Minato walked right beside Shion. The Yellow Flash looked very relaxed, his hands tucked into his pants pockets, his face radiating a comfortable calm. Meanwhile, beside him, Shion walked with posture as stiff as a rock. Every time the wind blew a bit too hard, Shion's hands reflexively pressed the hem of his sailor mini skirt down, an act of self-preservation (to avoid exposing himself again) that, in Minato's eyes, actually looked very feminine and shy.
"So, Shion-san, where would you like to eat?" Minato asked, breaking the silence, trying to build a casual conversation like friends. "Since you're treating, I'll follow your choice. Do you like sweets? I heard the Dango and Parfait shop at the end of that street is very popular among young Kunoichi like you."
A vein throbbed violently on Shion's forehead. Sweets? A Dango shop where girls gathered to gossip? What kind of insult was this to the masculine soul of a frontline warrior?!
"I'm not a little kid or a spoiled girl who likes sweets!" Shion snapped sharply, turning to glare at Minato. "We're going to Yakiniku Q! I need meat! Thick, bloody meat! Got it?!"
Minato was slightly startled, but then he chuckled. His laugh was crisp, deep, and somehow sounded incredibly pleasant. "Hahaha, alright, alright. Yakiniku Q is an excellent choice. You're right, after an intense spar like that, the protein from grilled beef is the best choice to recover muscles and stamina."
Hearing Minato's forgiving laugh, Shion bit his lower lip hard. 'Why is he laughing?! He should be offended that I snapped at him! Snap back at me, please, so I can punch you and we can fight like two real men!'
But that fantasy was just a dream. They arrived at Yakiniku Q. As soon as they pushed aside the entrance curtains, the aroma of grilled meat and sweet-savory garlic sauce immediately greeted them, making their mouths water.
The atmosphere inside was quite lively with groups of shinobi celebrating missions or just unwinding. A few of them immediately turned respectfully upon seeing Minato's figure enter. However, their gazes quickly shifted and locked onto the beautiful, long-brown-haired 'girl' in a pristine white sailor uniform and black stockings trailing right beside him.
Hushed whispers began to sound like the buzzing of bees in Shion's ears.
"Hey, isn't that Minato-san? Who is that incredibly beautiful girl next to him?"
"Good heavens, that's the 'White Skirt Fairy' of the Hyuga clan everyone's been talking about! I heard she's a heroic demon on the border!"
"The two of them... here alone? Are they on a date? They look so perfect together, one is handsome and the other is like a goddess..."
Shion's ears, which were far sharper than a normal human's, caught every single thread of those whispers. If he had the Explosion Release Kekkei Genkai, he swore he would blow this entire restaurant to the ground right now. His face, flushed red with anger, was noticed by Minato standing nearby.
"Pay them no mind, Shion-san," Minato whispered gently, guiding Shion to an empty booth in the corner of the restaurant that was more enclosed and private. "People always like to exaggerate what they see. Take the inside seat."
Shion scoffed loudly, dropping his body onto the seating cushion (zabuton) roughly. "I couldn't care less about what those idiots think! You think I care they're gossiping about us?! I'm just annoyed because the waiter is taking forever!" he argued quickly, his voice rising half an octave, turning his face to stare at the blank wooden wall beside him.
Minato, who had just sat across from him, simply rested his chin on one hand, smiling softly at Shion's pouting side profile. 'Truly not honest with her own feelings. She's clearly bothered by the gossip and feels embarrassed, but blames it on something else. How cute.'
If Shion had the ability to read Minato's thoughts right now, he would have instantly gouged out his own Byakugan eyes with the meat fork in front of him.
A waiter soon hurried over carrying a tray loaded with dozens of portions of premium beef and fresh vegetables. Minato, with his protective and gentlemanly instincts deeply rooted in his core, immediately picked up the meat tongs and prepared to start grilling.
"Let me grill it for us. You must be tired after depleting your chakra fighting me earlier," Minato offered, picking up a few slices of meat and placing them neatly on the steel grill.
Shion, whose patriarchal pride was stung again like he'd been poked by a giant bee, immediately snatched the other idle pair of tongs on the table. "No need to bother! I have two hands and I can grill my own meat! You think I'm some spoiled princess whose hands can't get near the smoke?! I am a shinobi, and shinobi grill their own meat!"
With movements far from elegant, Shion tossed several slices of meat onto the grill, creating sparks and a fairly thick cloud of smoke. He glared at the meat as if it were his mortal enemy from Iwagakure, flipping it roughly as if torturing a prisoner.
Minato chuckled softly seeing the aggressive behavior, letting Shion vent his frustrations on the innocent cuts of beef.
However, bad luck apparently wasn't done playing with the remnants of Shion's sanity today. One of the pieces of beef, containing thick fat, popped loudly on the overly hot steel grill, splattering a drop of boiling oil that flew straight toward Shion's hand.
"Kyaah!" Shion yelped in surprise with a high-pitched tone that unfortunately sounded cute, dropping his tongs with a loud clatter.
The sudden stinging pain made him reflexively pull his hand to his chest.
Seeing this, Minato's blue eyes widened. His legendary speed reacted instantly without him even realizing it. In less than a fraction of a second, Minato had leaned half his body across the grill table, grabbing Shion's wrist that had been hit by the oil splatter.
"Let me see," Minato said with a tone of deep, ingrained worry. He stared at the small red spot beginning to swell on the back of Shion's smooth, pale-skinned hand. Without thinking like a rational man, Minato lifted Shion's hand near his face, pursed his lips, and blew softly on the red spot.
Minato's cool breath swept across Shion's skin.
Time seemed to stop for Shion. The air around him was sucked out completely. His body froze stiff like an ice statue in winter. His eyes bulged as wide as dinner plates, staring at the legendary handsome blond man who was now holding his hand and blowing on it affectionately, exactly like a climactic main scene in a romantic shoujo manga often read by academy girls.
Shion's heart, which had been beating at a normal rhythm, now pumped blood at a crazy speed, nearly tearing through his ribs. Not because he was falling in love, but because shock, horror, panic, and embarrassment mixed into one lethal poison that stung his nerves. Shion's face, buffed by the System's magical makeup, now turned as red as freshly spilled blood. Imaginary smoke practically billowed from the top of his head.
"L-let me go!" Shion screamed in panic, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence. He yanked his hand back so roughly and forcefully that he pushed himself backward, his back slamming hard against the wooden booth wall. He hugged his own hand to his chest like someone defending against a monster attack. His chest heaved rapidly.
"W-what are you doing, you perverted idiot?! I-it's just a tiny oil splatter! I'm not a toddler who's going to cry hysterically over something so trivial! D-don't you dare touch my hand carelessly without permission!"
Shion intended to sound like a manly man who was furious about being violated, but his uncontrollably trembling voice, his face as red as a ripe cherry tomato, and his eyes wildly dodging Minato's gaze to look everywhere but at the man's face, sent an entirely different signal to Minato's brain.
Minato flinched slightly, realizing his actions might have been too impulsive and crossed the girl's boundaries of privacy. He took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck feeling guilty.
"Ah... forgive my forwardness, Shion-san. It was purely reflex. On the front lines of the battlefield, I am used to immediately checking even the smallest wound on my teammates as quickly as possible before it gets infected. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected," Minato apologized in an incredibly sincere tone, his eyes radiating a gentle and transparent guilt.
Hearing Minato's logical, tactical, and highly reasonable excuse, Shion was left speechless. He bit his lower lip so hard it nearly bled.
'Damn... Damn you, universe! Why is he acting so logical, mature, and so nice?! Why am I the one reacting like an overly hysterical person?! Why does this wretched body have to blush without my control at all?! If I didn't have this system, if I looked like a normal man, I would have punched him in the face while laughing out loud! ARGH!'
"Hmph!" Shion finally just turned his face away dramatically, scoffing loudly as if highly offended to hide his overflowing panic. "Don't ever repeat that disgusting action again. Hurry up and eat your meat before it burns and becomes inedible!"
"Alright, understood, Madam Commander," Minato joked in a playful tone, returning his focus to the meat grill, though from the corner of his eye he constantly observed the side profile of the 'girl' in front of him who was still blushing beet red.
The rest of the dinner went like a mental torture specifically designed by demons for Shion. Every time he tried to act rough, tough, or masculine, somehow the universe, the laws of physics, and the System always conspired to twist his actions into something cute, clumsy, and reflecting the pure essence of a Tsundere.
When he ate barbarically and ravenously like a starving monster that hadn't eaten in a week, the System automatically ensured not a single drop of sauce or fat stained the corners of his lips or his clothes. The effect? He looked like a gluttonous girl eating enthusiastically yet somehow still exuding a strange elegance. When he sharply criticized Minato for flipping the meat too slowly, his tone of voice actually sounded like a spoiled whine begging for attention.
For Minato, tonight was one of the most memorable, entertaining, and enlightening dinners he had ever experienced in his life. He, who was usually surrounded by political tension, blood, and the ceaseless horrors of war, had now found an oasis of peace.
The mysterious 'girl' from the Hyuga clan in front of him was an incredibly enchanting walking paradox. On the training ground or battlefield, she was an elegant, cold-blooded killing machine with lethal Byakugan eyes. But at this dinner table, behind the shadows of war, she was just a very awkward young girl, dishonest with her own feelings, overly proud, and easily flustered. Minato felt a strange yet warm urge in his heart to protect this fragile side that Shion was desperately hiding from the cruelties of the shinobi world.
In the midst of Shion's awkward chewing silence, a mechanical voice rang in his head like an executioner's verdict.
[Ding! Mission 'A Date Invitation from a Sweet Girl' Completed Perfectly!]
[Reward: Pocket Dimension has been successfully integrated into the Host's body. Host can now access this boundless spatial dimension at any time through the Absolute Territory (Zettai Ryouiki) area underneath your mini skirt! Enjoy this unparalleled magical convenience!]
Hearing that enthusiastically cursed notification right while he was chewing a piece of premium beef, Shion's appetite vanished instantly into thin air. The expensive food in his mouth suddenly felt as rough as swallowing gravel mixed with sand. The reward that was supposed to be the strategic key to his greatest strength was now legally and officially the most humiliating permanent disgrace he would have to carry for the rest of his life.
Dinner was finally finished. The night sky had completely blanketed Konoha village with a tapestry of countless stars. True to his word (pledged out of forced circumstances), Shion marched to the cashier and paid the entire bill for that insane amount of food using his meager mission savings (this made him want to tear something apart or cry in a corner even more).
As a true gentleman who held manners in high regard, Minato insisted on walking Shion back to his clan compound. Even though Shion blatantly refused with logical reasons, Minato persisted in accompanying him with a friendly smile that was absolutely impenetrable by any argument.
They walked side-by-side down the village streets that were growing quiet and deserted toward the luxurious Hyuga Clan compound. The autumn night wind blew quite hard and cold, making Shion subconsciously rub his palms against his exposed arms, which were only covered by the short sleeves of his sailor uniform.
Seeing this, without saying a single word, Minato stopped walking. He unzipped his thick green Jonin vest. With a very natural and unexpected movement, the man stepped from behind and draped the warm vest over Shion's narrow shoulders.
Shion's footsteps halted instantly as if struck by a paralysis kunai. The heavy and warm material weight of the Jonin vest pressed on his shoulders, and Minato's highly distinctive masculine scent invaded his sense of smell without permission.
Shion turned his head slowly with rigid movements like a broken machine, staring at Minato's face over his shoulder with eyes wide full of psychological horror.
'Don't do this... I'm begging you, stop it, you perverted hero spreading cheap charm... I am a straight man... Please don't treat me like a helpless, weak female main character in a romance manga...'
Once again, betraying all his willpower, Shion's body reacted without its commander's permission. A deep blush spread rapidly like a blazing fire from his neck all the way to burn the tips of his ears. He immediately grabbed the edges of the green vest fabric roughly, intending to rip it off and throw it back in Minato's handsome face.
"I-I'm not cold at all! Take back this ugly, smelly vest of yours! You think I'm so weak that I need another man's jacket?!" Shion scolded in a high pitch that trembled from suppressing embarrassment.
Minato wasn't offended by the insult at all. He just smiled warmly, casually stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. He stared intently at Shion under the dim glow of the streetlight.
"Just wear it, Shion-san. Tonight's wind is quite sharp and could give you a fever. I'm very used to cold weather far more extreme than this. Besides, I would feel terribly guilty and useless if my excellent sparring partner falls sick tomorrow just because I let her freeze after she treated me to a delicious dinner."
Hearing that barrage of words spoken in a tone that was so gentle, logical, and firm all at once, Shion's hands froze paralyzed in the air.
He stared at Minato's unwavering handsome face. Then, Shion slowly looked down at the tips of his sandals, feeling utterly defeated down to his roots in every existing aspect of life, be it physical combat or mental defense.
With movements that looked reluctant, rough, and full of defeat, Shion actually pulled the collar of the oversized green vest tighter to cover his shoulders and neck. He buried half his face into the warm collar of Minato's vest to hide his face, which was now hopelessly flushed red.
"S-so annoying! If you're going to force me to the point of begging like that, what can I do! I'll be nice and wear it just for tonight, but tomorrow I'll wash it clean and throw it hard right at your face! D-don't expect me to thank you for something so small and trivial!" Shion grumbled with his voice muffled by the jacket fabric, trying to maintain the last tiny shred of his remaining pride.
Without waiting for Minato's reply, Shion immediately turned his face and quickened his pace, half-running away toward the giant wooden gates of the Hyuga compound like a thief who had been caught.
Minato, left behind alone, could only stand transfixed for a moment. He watched the back of the petite 'girl' clad in a sailor uniform, swallowed up in his oversized green vest, running away and disappearing into the shadows under the light of the full moon.
The widest and most genuine smile he had shown all day bloomed, adorning the face of the genius Jonin.
"Truly... a very strong, yet very sweet girl," Minato murmured to himself, his voice blending with the rustle of the night wind. He chuckled softly before finally turning around, walking back to his operational base with a heart that somehow felt lighter than usual.
One hour later, inside his pitch-black and stuffy room in the corner of the Hyuga branch family compound.
Shion lay stiffly on his back upon his futon. Minato Namikaze's thick green Jonin vest lay on the wooden floor, having been kicked far away from his bed as if the item was radioactive waste.
Shion stared at the wooden ceiling of his room with blank, unblinking eyes, devoid of any expression whatsoever, like a broken doll or a walking corpse whose soul had long since flown away leaving its body to seek eternal peace.
The memories of every second of today's humiliating events looped torturously like a non-stop tragedy documentary playing on the movie screen of his mind.
His scream bringing up his own underwear. His crushing defeat in battle. His tears breaking like a crybaby girl in front of Minato. The aggressive dinner invitation that 100% mimicked a Tsundere girl's style. The cheap romantic moment caused by hot oil splatter. And ending with the cliché jacket-borrowing scene under the streetlight like a drama episode closer.
Every memory from those events gnawed, chewed, and swallowed entirely the remaining dust of masculinity he had desperately tried to maintain. He could feel and knew for an absolute fact that Minato Namikaze, the Yellow Flash village hero, had now permanently branded and categorized him under the label: 'A Strong Girl with a Soft Heart Who is Shy and Must Be Protected'.
On top of that... the most horrifying fact awaited in the future. If tomorrow he wanted to draw his trusty weapon suddenly in the middle of a brutal battlefield, he would have to strike a pose and reach into his own mini skirt in front of hundreds of pairs of enemy ninja eyes.
A tear of pure suffering rolled slowly down from the corner of his pale white eyes, falling to wet his pillow in the silence of the night.
'Oh God... Sage of Six Paths... Shinigami... or whatever omnipotent holy being is listening to my suffering up there,' Shion prayed inwardly with the purest, final remnants of his despair.
'Please... I'm begging you, please drop a giant meteor onto the roof of my room right now. Destroy me. I want to reincarnate again immediately, just as a lump of rock or a tree trunk. I truly cannot bear to live this kind of hellish life anymore.'