Darkness—boundless darkness.
Fragments of memory surged like a breached flood, carrying sharp shards of ice as they crashed into Shen Yunmian's consciousness.
At first, there was only a numb, dull pain.
Her wife was dead.
Like a boulder dropped into deep water, yet the ripples were flattened by countless responsibilities.
She handled everything calmly. The Shen family business could not fall into chaos. Too many eyes were watching. She didn't even have much time to feel the pain of loss. At the funeral, she stood upright, receiving condolences, her face bearing just the right amount of grief and restraint.
She thought she was strong enough.
But when the noise faded and the night grew silent, the emptiness she had deliberately ignored revealed its grotesque true form.
Returning to the empty Jiuxi Bay, there was no longer a light left on for her, no longer that figure who would greet her with a smile. The presence of another person in the air gradually faded, and every corner reminded her—
That person was truly gone.
It turned out that losing someone began with the disappearance of every detail in life connected to them.
Each detail was a blade of slow torture.
And after Yu Sheng was gone, troubles began to follow one after another.
Her mother's extravagance worsened, becoming entangled in things she shouldn't touch, accumulating massive gambling debts and causing a huge scandal. Her younger sister, Shen Xingyao, without Yu Sheng's discipline, grew even more reckless, injuring someone in street racing. Shen Yunmian was overwhelmed cleaning up the messes, and for the first time clearly realized how much Yu Sheng had silently borne for her and for this family all those years.
The "stability" she had taken for granted was built on Yu Sheng's countless acts of endurance and sacrifice.
Regret coiled around her heart like vines, tightening until it almost drew blood.
She couldn't help recalling her wife's rare outburst: Shen Yunmian, you're truly a cold and slow person.
At first, she couldn't understand it. But over time, she gradually came to realize.
Yu Sheng had long been disappointed by her indifference, which was why she had grown increasingly silent, even to the point that she didn't call her once before she died. And the consequences of her slowness revealed themselves over time—she thought she was strong enough to handle separation, but in reality, her pain had simply come later and lasted longer.
She began to fear going home, to fear being alone. When she was alone, memories seeped into every corner.
Yu Sheng waiting for her late into the night, forcing herself to stay awake; the dimming of her eyes after being perfunctorily rejected; the pale silence after losing their child… All the moments she had once ignored became the sharpest knives, cutting into her again and again.
Over long days, she pieced together their past, trying to find comfort.
But the more she remembered, the clearer she realized how deeply Yu Sheng had once loved her. The more intense the love at the beginning, the more desperate it extinguishes. Through endless recollection, she came to a tragic realization—
Only after her wife was gone did she understand how much she loved her.
Loved her to the point that… when her grandmother, citing the need for an heir, urged her to remarry, a mad thought began to grow in her despair, breaking through her once-prided rationality.
She had only one wife—irreplaceable.
If there had to be a child, it should belong to both of them.
She used the eggs they had stored at the reproductive center and conceived through artificial insemination—
Their child.
The pregnancy was extremely difficult. Severe morning sickness, swelling, sleepless nights.
Every discomfort made her inevitably think of Yu Sheng.
When Yu Sheng had been pregnant, had she suffered like this? And what had she been doing back then? Busy with meetings and social engagements, even when Yu Sheng's face turned pale from nausea, she had only said, "Get some rest." The child they had once looked forward to never even had the chance to see the world because of her neglect and indifference. And her wife had borne both physical and emotional pain alone.
In countless late nights, Shen Yunmian would stroke her gradually swelling abdomen, tears falling silently.
This belated empathy felt like a delayed punishment, making her suffer unbearably.
Her mental state began to deteriorate, and she started dreaming of her wife frequently.
In her dreams, Yu Sheng was still as she had been in her youth—smiling gently at her, complaining softly that she came home too late, or simply sitting there quietly, gazing at her with those eyes full of stars. Every time she woke from such dreams, faced with the empty room and the cold reality, the immense contrast nearly drove her mad.
Later, hallucinations began to appear.
At first, they were vague—just occasional moments of distraction. She would work late into the night in her study, and when she looked up in exhaustion, it seemed as if Yu Sheng was standing at the door, holding a cup of warm milk, frowning slightly, speaking in a familiar yet distant voice: "Yunmian, don't overwork yourself. Get some rest." She would sit alone in the living room until dawn, and in her daze, feel the sofa beside her sink slightly, as if Yu Sheng were sitting there, quietly accompanying her.
Gradually, the hallucinations became clearer and more tangible.
She could even hear Yu Sheng whispering in her ear, feeling the warmth of her fingertips.
She reached out toward the empty space beside her, a dazed, infatuated smile on her face, murmuring, "Sheng Sheng… you came back to see me, didn't you? You couldn't bear to leave me and the child, right?"
She would often stroke her abdomen, talking endlessly to the air: "Sheng Sheng, look, this is our child. Can you see her? She's moving. This time I'll protect her well—I won't ever let you bear all this pain alone again…"
At times, she would break down in tears, confessing, "Sheng Sheng, I was wrong, I really know I was wrong… Can you forgive me? I shouldn't have ignored you, I shouldn't have made you so unhappy…"
At other times, she would fall into beautiful delusions, pleading humbly, "Sheng Sheng, don't go… please don't leave me. Look, I'm carrying our child. The three of us can live well together and never be separated again, okay? You can give her a name—we'll have a long, long future…"
Su Qingyu, who had already been promoted to Vice President of the Shen Corporation, saw all of this and was deeply worried.
Until Shen Yunmian's condition worsened further—even to the point that during important meetings, she would suddenly fall into a daze, smiling faintly at an empty seat while calling out "Sheng Sheng"—Su Qingyu finally had no choice but to forcibly take her to see a psychiatrist.
The diagnosis was cold and cruel—severe depression accompanied by serious delusional symptoms.
The doctor prescribed medication and repeatedly emphasized that she must take it on time and actively cooperate with psychological treatment.
But when Shen Yunmian looked at the white pills, her eyes were filled with resistance and fear. She tightly grabbed Su Qingyu's hand, her voice obsessive: "Qingyu, you don't understand… I can't take them. If I take the medicine, I won't be able to see her anymore, won't be able to hear her speak. Only like this can I feel that she's still by my side… that she hasn't abandoned me…"
She clung greedily and pathologically to those illusions—they were the only driftwood she could grasp in her endless sea of suffering, the false support that kept her alive. She even began to fear recovery, fear becoming "normal," because clarity meant facing once again the reality of a world without Yu Sheng.
Days passed slowly in this state of half-awareness, where reality and illusion intertwined.
Shen Yunmian's mental state grew worse, and the company's core affairs increasingly had to rely on Su Qingyu.
Once, after painstakingly explaining the details of an important international project, Shen Yunmian did not immediately dismiss Su Qingyu. She leaned back in her large office chair, exhausted. The afternoon sunlight streamed through the window, casting onto her overly pale face, giving her an air of profound weariness toward life.
"Qingyu." Her voice was soft, hollow from being drained of all vitality. "Tell me… what am I fighting so hard to maintain the Shen Corporation for? I've already lost everything that mattered most. What's the point of holding onto all this…?"
Su Qingyu's heart tightened suddenly, a sense of dread gripping her. "President Shen, please don't say that…"
Shen Yunmian weakly raised her hand to stop her, her empty gaze drifting out the window. "Qingyu, I'm too tired. I really… can't hold on anymore."
As she spoke, she slowly raised her other hand and pressed it tightly over her eyes, as if unwilling to let anyone see her current state of collapse. Yet warm tears still slipped uncontrollably through her fingers, falling drop by drop onto the polished desk, leaving dark wet marks.
"Qingyu, I really… miss her so much…"
"So much that… I'm going insane…"
The despair in her voice was thick like an inescapable fog, moving even someone as experienced as Su Qingyu. She opened her mouth to offer comfort, but found all words pale and powerless, unable to reach even a fraction of that grief.
Later…
Shen Yunmian ultimately did not live to see the day her child was born.
On the morning of Yu Sheng's death anniversary, a servant found her in the bedroom.
The bathtub was stained red with blood—two lives lost.
The knife used to cut her wrist had fallen to the ground, as if silently recording everything. Shen Yunmian was still wearing the wine-red silk nightgown that Yu Sheng had once casually praised as beautiful. Her expression was unusually peaceful, even with a faint, strange curve at the corners of her lips—like she had simply fallen into a long sleep free of pain.
—
The chaotic and painful memories receded like the tide, coming to an abrupt halt.
Shen Yunmian's mind went blank for a moment. Was she dead? After death, could one really still retain consciousness? Then when Sheng Sheng left, had she felt the same?
As she thought in confusion, another entirely different torrent of memories surged into her mind like a tsunami!
Two completely different timelines clashed and tore at each other within her consciousness.
She saw a version of her wife completely unlike the gentle and obedient one in her memories—this Yu Sheng would strike her without hesitation, would attack her with icy eyes and sharp, cutting words, would clearly and firmly repeat the same demand again and again: divorce.
And all her own clumsy attempts to please, all her humble efforts to reconcile after discarding her pride, became, from another perspective, nothing more than a ridiculous solo performance on stage—unable to move the other person in the slightest, only earning deeper impatience and disgust.
The final image froze on the screech of brakes, the violent impact, the scattering shards of glass—
"Sheng Sheng—!"
A cry from the depths of her soul burst through her throat, shattering the haze of consciousness.
Shen Yunmian suddenly opened her eyes.
The glaring white light made her squint uncomfortably. The familiar, unpleasant smell of disinfectant filled her nose, and the steady, cold beeping of medical instruments sounded in her ears. She stared blankly at the white ceiling, her mind momentarily empty.
"She's awake! The patient is awake!" a nurse exclaimed in surprise.
Immediately, hurried footsteps followed as several doctors and nurses quickly gathered around the bed to examine her. Shen Yunmian lay there like a puppet with cut strings, letting them move her as they pleased, while a storm raged within her.
She had come back.
Back to… three years before Yu Sheng's death.
After the initial surge of joy, this realization was quickly overtaken by a deeper chill.
Another clear set of memories told her that her wife's sudden transformation—becoming like a completely different person—seemed to point to a shocking truth. Her Sheng Sheng might have returned before her, carrying the memories and pain of their previous life.
The coldness, the disgust, the desperate attempts to escape—none of it was without reason.
It was the resentment and hatred accumulated over two lifetimes, after being hurt again and again by her indifference, and dying alone in loneliness.
She had never imagined that her past actions had caused Yu Sheng so much grievance and pain. Even in death, she had left alone, carrying complete disappointment in her and in their marriage.
Yu Sheng had every right to resent her—every right to hate her.
At that moment, Shen Yunmian felt an almost cowardly fear. She didn't know how to face a wife who now felt nothing but disdain for her. Getting close might mean hurting her again. But distancing herself… even the thought of it made her unable to breathe.
While Shen Yunmian was still in a daze, the doctors had already finished a thorough examination, confirming that her vital signs were stable and that she could be transferred to a regular VIP ward.
Upon receiving the news, her grandmother and Zhou Yaqin quickly arrived.
There was a trace of fatigue in her grandmother's eyes as she walked to the bedside and first asked about Shen Yunmian's condition.
Shen Yunmian responded briefly, her gaze drifting.
Before long, her grandmother changed the subject and began her usual admonishment. "Yunmian, you are the sole heir of the Shen family. You know how heavy the burden on your shoulders is. This time you were lucky, but if something had happened… what would become of the Shen family's vast empire?"
Shen Yunmian listened quietly, her heart numb.
Having experienced everything from her previous life, she was already immune to her grandmother's belief that family legacy stood above all else.
Lost in her guilt toward Yu Sheng, she wasn't really listening at all.
Until the hospital room door was gently pushed open, and a figure appeared at the doorway.
Backlit by the corridor light, the outline was slightly blurred.
But Shen Yunmian recognized her instantly.
At that moment, her heartbeat nearly stopped.
Her wife—the person she had longed for day and night—finally appeared before her again.
Across two lifetimes, through life and death, she was standing there, alive… Shen Yunmian had countless things she wanted to say, yet as all those words surged within her chest, when they reached her lips, she found herself unable to say a single one.
In the end, she could only stare blankly at the person before her and call out hoarsely, "Sheng Sheng…"
Yu Sheng, who had rushed over, had no idea of the turbulent emotions surging within Shen Yunmian at that moment. Because Shen Yunmian had saved her, a subtle ripple lingered in her heart, leaving her unsure how to face her.
Suppressing the complicated feelings within, she spoke calmly, "Shen Yunmian, how are you? What did the doctor say?"
"I'm fine! Just some superficial injuries. The doctor said it's nothing serious—don't worry!" As she spoke, all her attention was focused on Yu Sheng, her gaze carefully scanning her face as she urgently asked, "What about you? Are you hurt? Do you feel unwell anywhere? The accident was so serious—did you get properly checked?"
This string of anxious concern and overly focused attention made Yu Sheng uncomfortable.
She frowned slightly, a faint sense of strangeness rising in her heart. The Shen Yunmian in front of her seemed… different.
Her expression remained unchanged as she replied calmly, "I'm fine. Just a mild concussion. I'll recover after a few days of rest."
Before Shen Yunmian could respond, Yu Sheng's attitude had already ignited Zhou Yaqin's anger.
She had long been displeased with Yu Sheng's cold demeanor—especially now, when her daughter lay in a hospital bed because of her, and she didn't even offer a proper word of thanks! She immediately let out a cold snort, her voice sharp and piercing: "Oh, Miss Yu sure carries herself with arrogance! Yunmian almost lost her life for you, and you're standing there with that cold face—who are you showing it to? Anyone who didn't know better would think our Shen family owed you something! If it weren't for you, would my daughter have suffered like this? She almost got killed because of you!"
The words were both harsh and unreasonable.
Yu Sheng's expression darkened as she was about to respond, but a colder, sharper voice cut in before her.
"Enough!" Shen Yunmian suddenly turned her head, undisguised warning on her face. "This doesn't concern you. Get out!"
Zhou Yaqin was stunned by her daughter's scolding, then snapped angrily, "Shen Yunmian! Do you have any conscience? I'm your mother! Was I wrong? If it weren't for her—"
"I said get out!" Shen Yunmian's voice was filled with extreme impatience and hostility. Without even looking at Zhou Yaqin again, she called for security and coldly ordered, "Escort her out. Without my permission, she is not allowed to come in again."
The trained bodyguards immediately stepped forward to "escort" Zhou Yaqin, who was still shouting.
"What are you doing? Let go of me! Shen Yunmian, you unfilial daughter—you're protecting this jinx!"
Her voice gradually faded down the corridor as she struggled.
The scene happened so quickly that even the old madam was caught off guard. She frowned, looking at Shen Yunmian's icy expression before speaking, "Yunmian, don't make things too ugly in public. People will laugh at us."
Shen Yunmian showed no reaction to her grandmother's words and said directly, "Grandmother, you're getting older. You must be tired today—go back and rest. I'll have someone handle the accident."
The old madam was momentarily choked by her attitude, clearly sensing the dismissal in her granddaughter's tone.
Instead of responding, she shifted her gaze to Yu Sheng and said matter-of-factly, "Sheng Sheng, Yunmian went through hell for you this time. Don't be so willful anymore. What's past is past. Take good care of Yunmian and live your life properly."
The words struck Yu Sheng like thunder, ringing in her ears.
Shen Yunmian saving her had already left her emotions complicated. But now, using that act as leverage to erase everything that had happened before only triggered her resistance, making her deeply uncomfortable.
She opened her mouth to speak—
But someone was faster.
"Grandmother, you should go back and rest." Shen Yunmian met her gaze calmly, speaking word by word, "From now on, the private matters between Sheng Sheng and me are not something you need to concern yourself with."
The emotionless words left the old madam completely stunned, staring at Shen Yunmian in disbelief.
When she recovered, anger surged instantly at being challenged. The heir she had painstakingly raised was now repeatedly defying her authority for Yu Sheng!
"Good, good! Shen Yunmian, you've really grown up—your wings are strong now!"
Her face flushed with anger. In the end, she said nothing more and stormed out of the room.
The ward finally fell silent, leaving only Shen Yunmian and Yu Sheng.
Another stretch of silence followed.
Yu Sheng truly didn't know what to say at this moment. She glanced at Shen Yunmian, suppressing the turmoil in her heart. "You just woke up. Get some rest—I'll go first."
With that, she turned and walked toward the door without looking back.
Seeing her leave, Shen Yunmian panicked and did something impulsive, almost thoughtless.
She abruptly tore off all the tubes attached to her body, ignoring the pain and consequences, and ran barefoot toward Yu Sheng.
Yu Sheng had just taken a step when a sudden commotion sounded behind her, mixed with the alarm of medical devices being pulled loose. Before she could turn around, a warm body pressed against her from behind, arms wrapping tightly around her waist.
She instinctively looked down. What she saw were Shen Yunmian's hands clasped tightly around her waist. The IV dressing was still attached to the back of her hand, but from the force, the needle had clearly been pulled out. Bright red blood seeped from the wound, trailing down her pale fingers and dripping onto the cold floor, spreading into a small, striking pool.
The irritation Yu Sheng had barely suppressed because of her injury instantly surged to its peak.
She had just woken up, and already she was acting crazy? Tearing out the needle, running barefoot—just for something this meaningless?
Yu Sheng struggled forcefully, trying to push her away with her elbow.
But Shen Yunmian's arms were locked tightly around her, as if using all her strength. No matter how Yu Sheng struggled, she couldn't break free.
"Shen Yunmian, what are you doing? Let go! Do you hear me?" Yu Sheng's voice carried clear anger.
But what responded was neither explanation nor release.
Instead, a drop of burning liquid fell onto her exposed neck without warning, making her stiffen.
Then another, and another…
Shen Yunmian buried her face deep into the crook of her neck, her warm tears soaking Yu Sheng's skin. A suppressed sob forced its way out of her throat, trembling and filled with boundless pleading, sounding hoarse by her ear:
"Sheng Sheng, let me hold you… please… just for a moment, just a moment…"
The overwhelming grief in her voice made Yu Sheng's resistance falter for an instant.
Shen Yunmian tightened her arms further, her body trembling uncontrollably as hot tears fell, the sensation against her neck sending an unfamiliar shiver through Yu Sheng.
"This isn't a dream…" Shen Yunmian choked, her voice filled with near-mad obsession. "Sheng Sheng… my Sheng Sheng…"
Yu Sheng stood rigidly, momentarily forgetting to react.
Inside, Shen Yunmian's emotions churned violently. She wanted to tell Yu Sheng that she had also been reborn, that she knew how wrong she had been, that she would spend the rest of her life making it up to her.
But another voice, filled with fear and cowardice, immediately suppressed it.
The current Yu Sheng showed nothing but distance and rejection toward her.
Even this embrace was something she had forced under the pretext of saving her in the accident.
The fragile reconciliation between them was as thin as paper—ready to tear at the slightest touch.
If she confessed now…
Shen Yunmian could almost imagine Yu Sheng's reaction. Even the fragile marriage they barely maintained might be severed by her own hand. Yu Sheng would leave her even more resolutely, disappearing completely from her life.
Just the thought made her chest tighten painfully. Her arms instinctively tightened further around Yu Sheng, as if afraid that the person in front of her would vanish like an illusion the moment she let go.
She couldn't say it.
At least—not now.
She forced herself to swallow the truth that was about to spill out, silently comforting herself: not yet. When Yu Sheng saw her change, when she gained even the slightest bit of goodwill from her… then she would tell her.
At that moment, the sound of a nurse pushing a cart into the room broke the tense, strange silence.
"What's going on? The monitors are alarming! Miss Shen, why are you out of bed?!"
Hearing the voice, Yu Sheng came back to her senses and forcefully pushed Shen Yunmian away.
Caught off guard, Shen Yunmian stumbled back, barely steadying herself after a step.
She seemed completely unconcerned about nearly falling, or about the bleeding wound on her hand. She only stared blankly at Yu Sheng, her tear-washed eyes stubbornly following her.
Seeing the blood on her hand, the nurse hurried forward. "Oh my! Miss Shen, what happened to your hand? Get back into bed quickly!"
Shen Yunmian showed no reaction to the nurse's alarm or actions, continuing to stare at Yu Sheng.
It wasn't until the nurse called a doctor and they half-forcibly guided her back to the bed, reconnecting the monitoring equipment and treating the wound on her hand, that she complied without resistance.
While adjusting the IV drip, the doctor spoke sternly, "Miss Shen, you just regained consciousness. Your condition isn't stable, and you shouldn't get too agitated. You were lucky this time—next time, you must not remove the equipment like this. It's very dangerous."
Shen Yunmian seemed to hear, yet not hear, nodding faintly while her gaze remained locked on Yu Sheng.
Being stared at so intensely made Yu Sheng deeply uncomfortable, the strange feeling in her heart growing stronger.
This wasn't something that could be explained by post-accident effects or momentary emotional agitation.
She couldn't help but blurt out, "Shen Yunmian, did you hit your head so hard you went stupid?"
"No, Sheng Sheng." Shen Yunmian was slightly stunned, her gaze lingering greedily on Yu Sheng's face for a few seconds. Then, as if exerting immense self-control, she smiled softly and said gently, "You… go rest. You're hurt too, so take good care of yourself."
Yu Sheng looked at her overly gentle smile, but felt no warmth in her heart. Instead, a creeping, eerie discomfort rose. Shen Yunmian in front of her was so abnormal, so unlike herself that she seemed almost a stranger.
Yu Sheng frowned, said nothing further, and turned to leave the hospital room.
Outside, walking down the empty corridor, her steps slowed. Shen Yunmian's eyes, full of complex emotions, kept replaying in her mind.
It was too strange.
What exactly was wrong with Shen Yunmian…?
—
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