Chapter 7: Stealth is Optional, Apparently
Shirotsume Town was a quaint, quiet place, a stark contrast to the bustling port of Hargeon. Its main feature was a large hill upon which sat the gaudy, ostentatious mansion of Duke Everlue, looming over the town like a monument to bad taste.
We stood at the base of the hill, casing the joint. Natsu, naturally, had the most direct approach in mind.
"Okay, here's the plan," he said, pointing confidently at the mansion. "We walk up to the front door, I kick it down, we find the book, and we leave."
Lucy looked at him with an expression of pure horror. "NO! Absolutely not! We are not kicking down another door! That's how we end up with a 10-page bill for damages and the Rune Knights chasing us again! We need a stealth plan."
Ah, the classic RPG party debate, I mused from my floating perch. The Fighter wants to go loud, the Rogue wants to be sneaky. And I'm the overpowered Mage who could just teleport us all inside, grab the book, and be back in time for lunch, but where's the fun in that? Character development requires struggle.
"I have a plan," Lucy announced, a determined glint in her eye. "Mira said he was looking for a new blonde maid. It's perfect! I'll get hired, get the lay of the land, find the book, and slip out. They'll never even know I was there."
Natsu and Happy looked at her blankly. "So... you're gonna dress up like one of those maids we saw?" Natsu asked.
"Exactly!" Lucy said proudly.
Famous last words, I thought, a sense of impending doom washing over me. This has 'hilarious disaster' written all over it in big, bold letters.
An hour later, Lucy emerged from a clothing store wearing a frilly, black-and-white maid outfit.
"Well? How do I look?" she asked, doing a little spin.
Natsu gave a thumbs-up. "Looks... clean?"
"You look like you're about to serve me a fish!" Happy cheered.
Lucy sighed. "This is the best I'm going to get from you two, isn't it?" She marched towards the mansion's front gate. "Okay, wish me luck. Wait here for my signal."
Natsu, Happy, and I hid in the bushes, watching as Lucy was escorted inside for her "audition." We waited. And waited. About fifteen minutes later, the front door burst open and Lucy was unceremoniously thrown out, landing in a heap on the gravel driveway.
She stormed back to our hiding spot, her face a mask of pure, incandescent rage.
"That... that... VILE, REPULSIVE, GHASTLY, SLIMY, PERVERTED, FILTHY, GREASY..." She sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence, her hands clenched into fists.
"So... you didn't get the job?" Happy asked innocently.
"Let me guess," I projected into their minds. "He was a total creep?"
"He was worse!" Lucy seethed. "He was... he was..."
And then I saw him. Duke Everlue himself waddled out onto his balcony to survey his domain. My internal otaku-brain immediately categorized him.
He was short, squat, and obscenely round, with a massive gut that jiggled like a waterbed with every step. His face was like a bulldog that had been left out in the sun too long, with sagging jowls and beady little eyes set too close together. A tiny, disgusting mustache, looking like a dead caterpillar, sat perched on his upper lip, twitching as he breathed heavily through his mouth. He was sweating profusely, his expensive silk shirt already stained with dark patches despite the cool breeze. He was, in every sense of the word, the perfect embodiment of the "ugly bastard" villain trope.
Wow. They really nailed the 'hateable NPC' design, I commented internally. He looks like a rejected villain from a low-budget hentai. I feel like I need to take a shower just from looking at him.
"He made me pose for him!" Lucy fumed. "Then he called me ugly and said he only hires 'buxom' maids! And then he had his horrible gorilla-maids throw me out!"
Natsu's head tilted. "Gorilla-maids?"
"Okay, new plan," Lucy declared, her eyes burning with a vengeful fire. "We're breaking in tonight. And I'm personally going to kick him in the shins."
Natsu grinned. "See? My plan was better all along!"
That night, under the cover of darkness, we approached the mansion's high stone wall.
"Okay, how do we get over?" Lucy whispered.
"I can fly us!" Happy offered.
"No need," I projected, stepping up—or rather, floating up. I focused my telekinetic power on a section of the wall. The stones didn't break or crumble. They simply... phased apart, creating a silent, perfectly-sized opening for us to walk through. Once we were on the other side, the stones slid back into place without a sound.
Lucy and Natsu stared, mouths agape.
"Dude," Natsu whispered. "That was cool."
We crept across the manicured lawns, sticking to the shadows. The mansion was dark, save for a few lit windows.
"The study should be on the second floor," Lucy whispered, pointing.
"I'll go!" Natsu said, preparing to leap up and climb the wall like a ninja.
And set off every alarm in the process. No thank you. I grabbed him with a telekinetic hand.
I floated up to the second-floor window, peered inside to confirm it was empty, and then focused. I didn't unlock the latch. I didn't break the glass. I simply made the glass pane intangible for three seconds. It shimmered, turned translucent, and allowed me to pass right through it. I rematerialized it on the other side and unlocked the window from the inside, waving them up.
Happy flew Lucy up, while Natsu, grumbling about not getting to do the "cool stuff," simply jumped, his leg strength easily carrying him to the second-story ledge. We were in.
The hallway was dark and lined with portraits of Everlue, each one more smug and repulsive than the last. We crept along, Natsu constantly having to be shushed by Lucy every time he stepped on a creaky floorboard.
As we rounded a corner, we froze. Standing guard in the hallway were two figures. They were massive, built like tanks, and covered in thick brown fur. They wore frilly maid aprons and bonnets.
The gorilla-maids.
Natsu's fists immediately ignited. "My turn!" he whispered excitedly.
"NO!" Lucy hissed, grabbing his arm. "Stealth, remember?!"
The maids hadn't seen us. They were currently arguing in a series of grunts and snorts. This was my chance to have some fun.
I focused my psychic energy, weaving an illusion in the maids' minds. A few feet away from them, a shimmering, perfectly yellow, giant banana materialized in the air.
The gorilla-maids stopped arguing. Their heads snapped towards the floating fruit. Their beady eyes went wide. They looked at each other, then back at the banana. With a unified, joyous roar, they abandoned their posts and charged, tripping over each other to be the first to get the delicious, illusory treat.
As they brawled over the fake banana, we slipped past them unnoticed.
"A floating banana...?" Lucy whispered, looking at me with a mixture of awe and deep confusion. "You are the weirdest person I have ever met."
We finally found it: a pair of massive oak doors at the end of a long hall. The study. I used my telekinesis to gently turn the knob and push the door open without a sound.
The room was incredible. It was a two-story library, filled from floor to ceiling with thousands of books. For a book-lover like Lucy, it was heaven. She gasped, her earlier anger momentarily forgotten.
"So many books..." she breathed.
"Focus, Lucy!" Natsu whispered. "We need 'Daybreak'!"
We spread out, searching the shelves. It didn't take long. There, on a lavish display pedestal in the center of the room, was a single, leather-bound book. "Daybreak" by Kemu Zaleon.
"There it is!" Natsu cheered, running towards it. "Now we just burn it and get paid!"
He reached out, his hand crackling with a small flame, ready to complete the mission.
"I do hope you're not planning on checking that out without a library card."
A slimy, grating voice echoed from the doorway. We all froze.
Standing there, silhouetted against the hall light, was Duke Everlue. He held a lit candelabra, a smug, disgusting smile plastered on his face.
"It seems I have some rats in my library," he sneered. "And I do so hate rats."
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