20 October 2019
5:36 pm
I met someone. A Priest. A Renounced One. A man who no longer belonged anywhere. He was abandoned by his Faith. Or maybe… he abandoned it first. He claimed his God exiled him. His belief became the opposite of what his faith once told him to follow without question.
My life changed.
Not slowly. Not over time.
It changed in a single evening, in a way I still don't fully understand.
20 October 2019
9:21 am
Today is an important day of my life. I am giving an entrance exam for college. In a few months, my school will be finished. The exam is not something I am very passionate about. I am just giving it because I have nothing else to do. No real reason. No real goal.
All of my friends already have a direction, something they are moving towards with confidence. Some want to become engineers, some doctors, some already preparing for things I don't even understand.
I have none of that.
I am just drifting.
Moving forward because time is moving forward.
With no clear destination in mind.
I live at the far end of my city. The exam is happening on the other end of the same city. At least it's not completely opposite, or that would have been even worse.
I have to go alone. My father is a serviceman serving the country, so he is not here. My mother's health recently got worse. She said she wanted to visit her family and went there.
Well… she has always been too worried about me and my brother. She rarely takes rest. It took a lot of convincing for her to finally visit her family. Even though she may not say it directly, I know she misses them.
At least now she can take some well-deserved rest.
She has always been a little sick, but still… she lives her life like nothing ever happened. Like nothing is wrong. Like everything is fine.
At first, I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and give a high-level military exam and directly pass as a high-ranking officer.
But I failed.
Twice.
That idea quietly died after that.
Anyway, the exam center assigned to me is a little far. But it's already been decided that a guy from my neighborhood will drop me.
If I have to describe him, it would simply be: a good person.
He is a father of two boys, and despite his busy schedule, due to a request from my mother, he agreed to drop me at the exam center without hesitation. People like that are rare these days.
I quickly made my breakfast. It was nothing special—just an omelette made of three eggs, bread with peanut butter and jam.
(It was special.)
It's hard to beat something that simple.
I also made the same for my younger brother. He is four years younger than me and goes to the same school I do. And right now… he is still sleeping like the world has no problems at all.
I woke him up and told him to take care of the house while I am gone.
He grunted, still half-asleep, not even opening his eyes properly.
I quickly wore my watch before leaving. The neighbor guy was already outside my gate on his bike. It's an old bike, but he has maintained it exceptionally well. It looked like something he took pride in.
I sat at the rear seat and thanked him for the ride.
We live in a countryside area, so there are not many houses here. Everyone knows each other.
Sometimes that feels nice.
Sometimes it feels a little suffocating.
It took about half an hour to reach my destination. I thanked him again for dropping me, and he quickly hurried back.
I guess he really was busy.
The building I am going to give my test in… looks old. Or maybe it has just not been taken care of properly.
It stood there quietly, almost forgotten.
A strange contrast to the bike I just traveled on.
I looked around. The building, which used to be a school and is now being used as a test site, is covered with trees from three sides. Only the entrance is a clear path.
As I looked at other students and their parents forming a line, a thought crossed my mind.
There are not many students here.
Around 30.
Weird.
There should have been at least three times more people here. Maybe not many were assigned to this specific center… or maybe something else.
I verified my documents and entered. I roamed around the first floor. Higher levels were not allowed to access, as those were where the exam would take place.
I didn't see a single familiar face.
No—there was one.
But I have never talked to him before.
It almost felt like he was purposely ignoring me.
The exam was going to start at 11:00 am. There was still some time.
I took my phone out and noticed something.
"Damn it, I forgot to charge it."
The battery was only 5%.
I quickly turned on energy-saving mode like it would somehow magically extend its life.
10:50 am
We went to our assigned rooms, and after 10 minutes, the exam started. We were given 3 hours to finish it.
It was pretty uneventful.
The exam went okay.
Not bad.
Not very good either.
Just… okay.
It took 3 hours to finish, and it was already 2:00 pm.
I wanted to piss so bad.
I ran to the toilet and took a much-needed break. Probably the best moment of relief the entire day.
We were given an hour to rest before another exam that would last 2 hours.
I should have brought my charger with me.
I checked my phone.
Yeah… it's not going to last.
I was getting hungry, but I didn't pack anything. So I went outside the school building and looked around.
There was a small restaurant nearby. Some examinees were already there.
I sat down and ordered something cheap since I didn't have much money on me.
It was bacon with gray peas.
It was surprisingly good.
Better than expected.
After spending some time there, it was almost time for the second exam.
2:45 pm
I entered the building again, and this time we were assigned different classrooms.
At exactly 3:00 pm, the exam began.
After 2 hours, I exited the classroom.
This one went quite well.
At least better than the first.
5:03 pm
My path back home was opposite to the other examinees.
It was towards the west.
Initially, I thought I could get a lift from someone, but I had yet to see anyone going that way.
I checked my phone.
"Yep… it's dead," I said, already knowing this would happen.
I waited for three more minutes before starting to walk down the road.
It was better this way.
Less boring.
At least walking gives you something to do.
Waiting doesn't.
I have to walk around 10–11 miles to reach home.
It's going to take a long time.
A really long time.
After walking for about 24–25 minutes, I noticed someone from the corner of my eye walking towards the main road.
He was coming from near the hillside, from a narrow path that looked like it was formed just by people walking over it repeatedly.
Not an actual road.
Just… a path.
In less than a minute, he reached the main road and started walking ahead of me.
He was wearing black clothes down to his ankles.
Basically… a cassock.
He was around my height, with dark brown hair.
He was walking quite slowly, so it didn't take long for me to catch up.
He was just slightly ahead of me as I got closer.
And I noticed something strange.
From the first moment I saw him till now—
Not once had he looked up.
He was only looking down.
We caught up to each other and were now walking side by side.
He stared at me with his left eye, which was almost closed.
His eyes were light brown.
I felt something strange.
Even though this was our first time meeting…
He didn't feel like a stranger.
He felt like someone I had known for a long time.
Or maybe someone I was supposed to meet.
As we walked side by side, I greeted him with a simple,
"Hello."
He looked at me for a bit.
Then, finally—
He opened his mouth and said something.