"..." "I" woke up again , everything felt normal , yeah normal very normal indeed , sometimes I wonder if everything didn't happen , if it was somebody else. If "I" wasn't as lucky…
"I" would consider myself quite lucky , one of the first who got "changed" and it was to something I knew quite as well , Kiana Kaslana from the game Honkai : Impact 3rd
In the form of the Herrscher of Finality—the strongest version , the one who holds absolute power over time and honkai. "I" knew her powers quite well , "I" knew her story as well.
At the time , perhaps it was merely a worry , maybe "I" was being paranoid , "I" was an avid reader , "I" loved reading things , biology , psychology; they're all interesting and fun , but fiction.
Fiction. "I" remember loving those old cartoons , Boboiboy , Ejen Ali , Bima X , the famous western movies , those from Marvel , DC , Hollywood , etc. Story games especially the gacha types
Honkai Impact 3rd , Punishing Gray Raven , Arknights, yeah you can list them. after all. At the time the big games like Genshin , HSR , WuWa didn't exist yet , then it shifted to anime.
During that time , the very first one "I" watched was called "Dimension W" It was old , it was cliche , but hey it was the first, the first one that made me fall in love with anime.
Time flowed , "I" grew, "I" watched Tensura , Shield hero , bla bla bla then it got dull. "I" switched to manga's , Kusuriya , Manwha's and Manhuas followed suit. Solo leveling , Versatile mage and so on
Even that got boring , I continued to Novels , Webnovels , Lightnovels , Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint , Lord of the Mysteries , Dorothy's Forbidden Grimoire , Seoul Object Story , Eiyuu no musume , Kumo Desu-
Okay , Okay that's enough with the flashbacks , "I" can't remember—How long has it actually been , living in this body? Learning—understanding , even discovering a new way to use her powers.
The price? My humanity—gone. "I" remembered , only having a singular goal. "No matter what happens , this family is mine . Mine to protect." the only thinking that reminded me "I" was once human too.
Life resumed , and well and behold , my avatar gained sentience , no matter how powerful you get , you can never truly control fate , of course at the time I didn't really care
My personality—Merely a facade , Ah. I remember her Yoisaki Kanade from PJSK , I remembered liking her story and character , how she felt real instead of a character.
Ironic indeed , a random character from a Japanese game , no powers was able to help me and a certain someone regain our humanity. But even then problems still existed in my head.
Identity , Possibilities , questions , what if the world continued normally , "I" would merely be your typical guy , ordinary , unremarkable swept in the currents of life.
What if every character "I" see is one , myself included and everything fiction or reality is merely a version of "ourselves" living differently perhaps protecting? Or experiencing life.
"You could only protect them because you're powerful" The version of me that is merely an ordinary guy , if fiction never bled to reality.
"In the end does it really even matter?" The version of me that believes "I" and every character in fiction is merely a version of me said , "my" form changing every time. Kiana Kaslana ,
Klein Moretti , Kim Dok Ja , Nicole , Shiraori , Hu Tao , Ellen Joe , Zhong li , Hoshimi Miyabi , Arthur Leywin , Misaka Mikoto , Mira Yurizaki , Hades , Rimuru Tempest , Lemuen , Dorothy Maychoss and countless more.
The many forms that version of me took , turning into a typical asian guy around 174cm with curly hair and a face that seemed ugly and normal with a tiny beer belly from stress perhaps?
That version of me then turned once more , into what seemed to be an androgynous body , neither male nor female , with long white hair and green eyes mimicking the depiction of an INFJ or INFP.
"Perhaps everything happening right now is merely a fictional story being written" the version of me that is merely an ordinary guy said his tone filled with nihilism and acceptance.
"Does it really matter? Fiction or Reality , what matters is that we are living right now" the version of me that believes "I" and every character in fiction is merely a version of me.
"In a way—" The version of me that is merely an ordinary guy said , his tone rather different , at the same "I" realized that at this moment , we were thinking of the same thing.
"—What matters is not always the result , but the journey and experience that counts" the 3 versions of me said in unison. Each having our own lives , our own journeys to walk through.
"I" open my eyes once more , surrounding me were perhaps memory constructs , I see the countless characters from fictional stories I've read , The original Kiana Kaslana , Shiraori , Klein , Kim Dok Ja , Misaka Mikoto—
—Han Yo Il , Frieren , Yurizaki Mira , Yoisaki Kanade , Violet , Tony Stark , Bruce Wayne , Bruce Banner , Rimuru Tempest , Dorothy Maychoss , Hu Tao , Acheron , Ellen Joe , Hoshimi Miyabi , Mahiru Shiina and countless more.
Perhaps at this moment , "I" realize , does it truly matter? "I" remember joking to myself , if the world suddenly changed , suddenly humans gained superpowers , suddenly someone was transported to a different world—
—And suddenly the boundary between Fiction and Reality collapses , then perhaps this world "I" live in isn't even real. Perhaps merely a story written by someone out of boredom perhaps.
Fiction or Reality. Does it even matter? What matters is that "I" am currently living my life in this world , in the end everyone will die, myself included , but—Just because the ending is already predetermined.
After all, the truth is rather simple.
"What matters is not always the result but the experience and journey that counts."
"I" muttered to myself , was it reassurance ? Or self depreciation ? Who knows , all I need to know is that "I" am living in this world. So—
"Why are you dozing off right there Kiana?" Mom's voice snapped me out of my long inner monologue. In front of me I could see them. My family in this broken world.
"Nothing" "I" said with a smile before settling on the couch again not maintaining my posture nor image without a single care for the world.
"If you're being like that how would you find a girlfri-" Grandma said with her usual teasing but warm tone
"She's a girl now." Dad's voice echoed rather calmly , then again he's always like this after all.
"Stop it , You'll Embarrass her." Mom's voice sounded quite stern and angry
"I don't mind" I said quite calmly , sure I've lived 20 years as a guy , but who knows how long I've lived as Kiana.
"We're heading off!" I could hear 3 voices echoing simultaneously. It was Firefly's , Mahiru's and Amane's , they were going to high school after all.
"GAVIN WHY ARE YOU STILL IN BED?!" Mom's voice could be heard sounding angry as hell, uh oh it seems like he's still asleep , hopefully he won't be late to his classes
I can see Shiraori and Gray Reaper just chilling on the sofa , it seems like they're fast asleep.
The Chaos , The Calmness , The Fun , The things we've been through… Yeah… This is my family after all.
—
"That should be the end of that" the version of me that believes "I" and every character in fiction is merely a version of me said , "My" eyes still shining green.
"Eh… Maybe" the version of me that is merely an ordinary guy said his tone sounding bored and tired.
"I'm gonna go , gotta pay attention to this chemistry lecture" the version of me that is merely an ordinary guy said, his voice now resolute.
"See you" The version of me that believes "I" and every character in fiction is merely a version of me. As that version of me said calmly before also disappearing.
—
"What's up Kanade?" I asked with a curious tone , beside me was Klein Moretti with Arrodes leaving him with no personal space. Kanade seemed lost in thought. Something unexpected.
"Ano. Kiana , Klein I'm sorry for taking up your time and a-" She said in a soft voice but before she could finish it I interrupted her.
"Wait. You're not taking up our time. We're always happy to hear your thoughts , right Klein?" I said with an equally soft tone , Klein nodded his head in response.
"It's only right that we listen to you , that's what families are for " His tone gentle like talking to a little sister , then again she is a little sister in our eyes.
"Sometimes I wonder. If our worlds are considered a game. a story , are we even real?"
"If so, does that mean my friends who aren't here are fakes?" She asked , while she sounded steady it was obvious she was in a deep dilemma , a dilemma that I'm sure someone else also felt.
My eyes locked to that of Klein's—No to his true body. The vast ocean of his body , with countless worms that seemed to spiral along with the grey frog of the sefirah castle.
"Kanade." His voice sounded soft and comforting , not something you'd usually see from a figure like him. He bent down to Kanade's face , one could see Kanade's eyes that were glistening with tears waiting to fall.
"Kiana once said to me." "If your entire story is merely fiction , why are you the Lord Of The Mysteries? Why aren't you Zhou Ming Rui an ordinary office worker?"
"For me. It was a wake up call. For this world. Perhaps it was fiction. Perhaps it was merely a story written by somebody—But the memories you made are real."
"Mafuyu. Ena. Mizuki. Ichika. Honami. They're all real are they not? If they aren't then why are those memories with you?" I said , my tone softer than ever to comfort this little sister of ours.
"Those memories are proof that they exist. They do exist. Just not in this world. From the world they come from. I guarantee it. I can sense it" I said with confidence
"Really-?" Her voice raspy and filled with snot. Ah—She must've thought about it for a long time.
"Of course! As the Pillar of Conclusion I guarantee it." My voice confident and filled with vigor as I looked at her.
"Mmhm." She replied , softly , it was a very small voice. Of course for someone like me and Klein it was loud and clear.
"Mm-?!" She muttered as I hugged her tightly in my embrace.
"It's fine. Just let all your emotions out. It's not a good idea to bury it all down y'know" How would I know? I did it often in the past after all , before everything began. When I was just a normal guy.
—
"Ano… Thank You. I think I'm gonna compose something." She said , yes her eyes are still wet , her face quite red with embarrassment. My shirt was wet with tears and snot but it didn't really matter.
"We're leaving~" I said. As both I and Klein left her room and walked.
*Swish
The sound of the door closing fast but silently could be heard.
*Snap
I snapped my fingers and all the tears and snot disappeared in an instant , my disheveled hair was straight and sikly smooth again
"Nobody eavesdropped?" I asked Klein casually.
"I made sure it wasn't with all my authorities." He replied with the same casual tone.
*Step *Step *Step
"What you said. Was it true?" He asked once more , his voice solemn.
"Which-? Ah their existences?" I asked him making sure I was right , Klein merely nodded in affirmation.
"Hmmm… I guess you could call it the intuition of an INFJ?" I said with a calm voice.
"I see." He said , One could not know what he was thinking at this moment.
"I'm gonna get some sweet iced tea" He said as he disappeared from my sight , I could only sigh and replied to him albeit a bit too late.
"Cya~" Of course. Even if this world is merely a fictional story—What matters is that I—No We are living in it right now.