Vox eyes Alastor semi-warily from where he's standing off to the side - he very happily gave God the cables tying Adam up, so now he's just on the sidelines instead of sitting next to the First Idiot in the potential line of fire.
Right now, he's watching as Raphael's going off about some kind of shoulder injury Calliope has - that's probably the least surprising thing about today, honestly, that this woman got hurt wrestling a gigantic dragon into submission. Calliope herself is lying on the couch now, face up this time and her good arm over her eyes - as unprofessional as it would be, Vox figures she's willing to say she's old enough and tired enough to not give a shit who sees her or what they think of her. And, honestly, given how long she's been alive, Vox figures exactly nobody would contradict her.
Right now, Alastor's standing back and letting Raphael work his own magic on the woman - which either means the Angel knows what he's doing or Alastor's confident nothing's going to happen to the woman. The last time he knows Rosie got hurt, Alastor threatened to eat the poor doctor that was putting her back together if he tried anything.
"Guys, really, what I need is a good shower, but I'm not getting that right now."
"You've got two cracked ribs, to. Stop being so stubborn for a minute!"
"Asking Calli not to be stubborn is like asking someone not to breathe, Raphael."
Alastor chuckles lowly from where he's standing, obviously amused, arms crossed as he leans against the wall - watching, but not interfering, very obviously deciding Calliope's in good hands.
Vox sighs to himself as he remembers how damn stubborn Alastor can be as well - figures Alastor somehow managed to find the one person in existence as stubborn as him. Seeing he's probably not going to get another chance, he quietly walks around the chaos happening at the couch to Alastor.
Alastor's shadow spots him first, glowing eyes narrowing before Alastor even looks at him. Before Alastor can even say anything - and, from the look on his face, Vox doesn't even want to know what he was going to say - Vox says "Al, can we talk? Please?"
Alastor stays silent for a long minute, eyes narrowed like he's debating talking or ripping him to shreds, until finally he crosses his arms and leans against the wall. "As far as I was aware, we'd both said everything we were going to say."
Vox grimaces, that's…not exactly inaccurate, from before he'd been forcefully detoxed while cleaning that kitchen. It is, however, inaccurate now…if Alastor will let him get two words in before ripping him a new one for being so incredibly stupid. Adjusting his sleeves nervously, Vox says "That's…not exactly the case anymore, Al. So, can we just…talk?"
Alastor narrows his eyes, looking for all the world like he's going to drag him into a shadow up to his Radio Tower. Finally, though, he turns and…walks over to the bar. And grabs a bottle of Rye Whiskey.
Vox would be more offended that Alastor decided his company now absolutely requires alcohol if he didn't remember Alastor saying he'd gotten him into some massive fuck-up. And, even now, the only thing he can think of is the fight Valentino interfered in right before Alastor vanished for seven straight years - gods, does he hope that wasn't what Alastor meant, but he gets the sinking feelings it absolutely was. And, if it took an immortal Witch from another world to fix it…it wasn't simple by any definition of the word. That, combined with the detail that Alastor can now look human… Well, he may not have very many details, but the ones he does have aren't exactly reassuring.
Taking a mouthful straight from the bottle, Alastor says "Alright, Vox, talk. This had better be good for once."
Vox sits down, blinking when Alastor slides a glass of bourbon over to him - he remembered that's Vox's favorite?! - and says "So…I'll just start with you were right."
Alastor raises an eyebrow, leaning against the wall expectantly.
"About Val, about…well, everything. Way back when, you said he was unpredictable and dangerous, said that just because I couldn't smell his pheromones it didn't mean they weren't affecting me. And, after spending several hours throwing up red goop in that kitchen over there…and then Velvette and I having to deep-clean the entire tower…I'm fairly certain he was subtly dosing me via his airborne Pheromones before making his move on me." Glancing up at Alastor, he sees a very blank expression on his face, and he's holding the bottle of Rye Whiskey so tight it could shatter any minute. After a minute of almost painful silence, Vox says "Say something, Al, say anything."
Alastor raises an eyebrow, and eventually asks "And what, pray tell, do you think I'm going to say? Something that doesn't start with 'I told you so?' Because I did. I did tell you that bug of yours was nothing but trouble, I did tell you his literal drug he calls his saliva meant he was more dangerous than his complete lack of intelligence would imply. You got careless, Vox, you got careless and cocky and assumed that because you don't have a nose or sense of smell anymore you couldn't be affected by something you breathed in. And you know what they say about assumptions."
Vox winces - yes, he knows that saying, 'they make an ass out of you and me', except in this case he was the ass all the way around - and says "I tried to be careful-"
Alastor gives him the single most withering look of his entire existence, asking "How many times did you let him blow that red smoke of his - which he used for his chains, by the way, red flag there! - into your face? How many times did he drape himself all over you for minutes before getting to whatever point he had for meeting you in the first place? If he ever had one to begin with? And you, you idiot, you just brushed it off. All you cared about was the potential for more money, for those movies of his that happened to cater to Hell's depravity. You think it's a coincidence that he was a flashy, skimpy bug that could drug people? He was a pimp in life, would you have gone anywhere near him then?"
Vox grimaces - he did want Alastor to say something. Just…not that. Especially not paired with that particular look. After a moment - one where Alastor downs more of the Rye Whiskey from his bottle - Vox swallows and says "Al, I know I fucked up, alright? I fucked up royally. I admit that."
Alastor scoffs, and says "Well, good for you, Vox. Finally wised up to the knowledge that your business partner is such a disaster he had to literally drug people to get them to sign up with him."
Vox winces, and nearly rolls his eyes when Alastor doesn't keep talking - he's certainly not making this easy, that's for sure. After downing his drink and steeling his nerves, Vox says "Look, I'm…I'm sorry, Al, alright? I screwed up a lot, I know I did. And I know we can't go back to how things were, but could we….start over, maybe?"
Alastor narrows his eyes, looking for all the world like he's about to go full demon mode and eat the other Overlord right then and there. Finally, though…he puts the whiskey bottle to his mouth and tips it straight up to drain it dry after muttering "I must be out of my mind…"
Vox blinks in shock, slowly processing the detail that Alastor didn't laugh in his face, tell him to get lost, or throw him out by his tie.
After a moment, Alastor pinches the bridge of his nose, leans over the bar counter, and calls over "Congratulations, Charlotte, proof your Hotel actually does work."
Vox blinks, not really knowing what to do with that casual declaration not even aimed at him, but he figures it's at least…not bad for him. The way Charlie's expression slowly turns to understanding and then sheer excitement is certainly encouraging, to.
After what feels like a small eternity - even though Vox's internal clock says it's barely been six seconds - Alastor turns back to him and says "Fine, we start over. No offers to join your team, no insistence on me modernizing myself to suit your tastes, none of that. And, Vox?" Vox gulps when Alastor suddenly grabs him by the front of his shirt, fingers curling around his tie as his shadow stretches across the wall behind him, but manages to not flinch or outwardly panic even as Alastor's body grows just enough that he's looming over him. "If you ever sic some new idiot who's very biology is a drug on me again, I'll rip you both to pieces and be picking wiring out of my teeth for months afterwards. Clear?"
Vox quickly nods, now clutching at Alastor's wrist despite knowing for a fact it won't do any good if Alastor decides to bring his neck, and says "Al, I swear, I never told Val to interfere. I never asked him to, either. He saw you kicking my ass that fight, and he tried to keep you from killing me."
Alastor lets out a derisive laugh, and snaps "If I had wanted to kill you back then, you'd have been pieces of scrap metal before he could've gotten to me!"
"I know!" Vox pries at Alastor's thumb to make him let go, saying "I know that, Al! That was Val and I's biggest fight, him jumping into that battle and interfering. I know the signs when your actually out for someone's head, and none of them were there in any of our fights before you vanished - I was screaming bloody murder at him for hours afterwards!"
Alastor narrows his eyes for a moment, then suddenly glances past him - when Vox twists his head around enough to see, he sees most everyone is blatantly staring in their direction. Even Calliope, head sticking up above the back of the couch with one eyebrow raised impressively far. Almost all of them immediately start doing anything else besides watching the Overlord Drama unfolding as soon as they see Vox and Alastor staring back at them, but Calliope doesn't - she stays exactly where she is, expression blank bar the one eyebrow...like she's questioning whether she needs a break them up or throw Vox out herself.
After a moment, Alastor slowly lets go of Vox, and says "It's fine, Ma Chere, he's just been an idiot is all."
Calliope rolls her eyes, saying "He worked with Valentino for…how long was it? Twenty years, you said?"
"And another two before that was spent in negotiations and meetings with the bug."
"His toxic stupidity clearly rubbed off, probably infected him via the Pheromones." Vox makes a protesting noise in the back of his throat, but Calliope just deadpans "Would you have gone near him with a ten-foot-pole in your life?" Vox shakes his head, and she asks "Then why the fuck would you decide to tie yourself to him for eternity in your afterlife?" When Vox doesn't answer, she rolls her eyes and presumably lays back down.
Swallowing a few times, Vox shakes his head and mutters "Of course she's damn well perfect for you…"
Alastor snorts derisively, and says "Nobody's perfect, Vox. If someone seems perfect for you, then they're putting on an act and you don't really know them. Calliope? Unbelievably stubborn, outdoing even me. She tends to steamroll over people she cares about when she's worried or wants them out of harm's way. She tends to bottle things up until she explodes from it all, has more emotional baggage than any one person should ever have to carry around and has learned to, in her own words, stack it all up so it only occasionally crashes to the floor in a massive mess for her to pick up and restack, and decided long before her old world had died that cooking is her go-to activity to keep her thoughts off whatever ghost from her past is plaguing her. She absolutely refuses to share her worries or problems with people she cares for because she doesn't want to worry them, has long-perfected the art of dodging and deflecting questions she has no intention of answering, and prefers to focus on everyone else's problems rather than her own. Does that sound perfect to you, Vox?"
Vox shakes his head, blinking in confusion at the way Alastor sounds fond of all the flaws he just listed off. He's got it bad, then.
"But?"
"But, Vox, she's also the single best cook I've ever met, would take a bullet through the heart for someone she cares about, I've watched her work herself to the bone, I know for a fact she's quite literally gone to war for people she cares about, and she's without question the single most genuine person I've ever met. She's not perfect, Vox, she's real. She makes absolutely no effort to be perfect because, in her own words, perfection is a lie, one mistake and it's gone for good." Giving Vox a side-eye as he turns to grab another bottle of whiskey, Alastor adds "She's also never asked me to change anything about myself. Not once."
Vox winces, downing his glass of bourbon after Alastor refills it, and says "One of my bigger fuck-ups, that." Glancing at Alastor, trying to gauge his mood - he's got to be at least a little tipsy after an entire bottle of whiskey, especially if he just laid out all of Calliope's faults and then basically said it didn't matter in the slightest that she's not perfect - Vox cautiously says "Speaking of fuck-ups..."
Alastor's expression goes stony, and he reaches down to grab another bottle for himself - doesn't shut the question down, though, despite clearly knowing where Vox is heading with it.
"You said I got you into something. And the only thing I can think of is when you vanished for seven years." When Alastor doesn't say anything, just stands there holding a bottle of Rye Whiskey in one hand, Vox asks "Al…what happened back then?"
The bottle in Alastor's hand promptly shatters, whiskey going everywhere as everyone turns to stare yet again.
Vox swallows, then asks "That bad, huh?"
Alastor glares and opens his mouth to say something - probably something scathing, knowing Alastor - but then Calliope appears in a burst of flames. About five seconds later, the bottle's fixed, the alcohol's vanished from the floor and his clothes, and Alastor's hand is free of the glass embedded in it and healed like it all never happened in the first place. She then takes one look at his expression and says "Pick a dish, Alastor."
"Jambalaya."
"Done."
Vox blinks as she disappears as quickly as she appeared, and then not ten seconds later he hears the sounds of pots getting moved and water running. After a moment, he shakes his head and mutters "She's gonna give me whiplash at this point." Alastor just snorts derisively, grabbing a new bottle to pour himself another drink. "I mean it, Al! Your girlfriend has had two personality transplants in the past hour - if that! First she was exhausted, then she was threatening to blow someone to pieces, now she's playing the housewife-"
Alastor's hand shoots out, grabbing him by the neck, and he says "Keep talking, Vox. By all means."
Vox scrabbles at Alastor's hand, and rasps out "Just trying to keep up…"
After a long moment - and Alastor squeezing his throat so tight Vox thinks he's going to black out from lack of oxygen - he's finally let go…though, that may well have something to do with Emily and Charlie watching and Vaggie's hand straying towards her spear. "Like I said earlier," he calls over, "this one's an idiot."
Vox watches as Alastor stops leaning over the counter, and mutters "I'm gonna get whiplash from both of you…"
Alastor's grin goes slightly sharper, and he says "Personality transplant, is that what you call it? Well, at least Calli's are predictable. Not something that can be said for everyone."
Vox winces at the not-so-veiled jab at him and his behavior under Valentino's influence, then glances at Alastor and quietly asks "You've really got it bad for her, huh?"
"Oh, and here I was under the impression I was the cold, cruel, heartless Radio Demon, that's the rumor that's spread about me, right?"
"Gods, you're making this difficult, Al. And…and you never answered my question from before. What happened, Al?"
Alastor sighs, rolling his eyes, and says "What can I say? Calli's a master of avoiding questions she doesn't want to answer. I must've picked up a few things from her over the past year or so she's been here."
Vox pins Alastor with an unimpressed look, silently waiting - if Alastor's going to keep steering the conversation in any other direction, he can just stop going along with it.
After a long minute, Alastor sighs and says "You want to know where I was? What I was doing? Fine. I was trapped in a contract by an unstable immortal madwoman with a grudge the size of Hell against all of Heaven. And was set to work trying to unseal a passage that leads to, quite literally, the ultimate evil. Apparently, that thing makes me look like a fluffy little baby deer by comparison."
Vox feels his mouth go dry, that…that is definitely a massive fuck-up. "A…a contract, Al? You?! You're the one that taught me about contracts."
Alastor gives him a withering glance, and says "You can thank your ex-bug. Eve cornered me directly after that fight he interfered in. Had my head been clear, I'd have had a chance at getting away."
"Dammit, Al, that's- wait, Eve?! As in…" Vox glances over his shoulder for a moment, then jerks his thumb over his shoulder, "as in their Eve?! From the story about the apple?!" He vaguely remembers the name being mentioned the day he and Velvette lost Valentino, but he was a little preoccupied with not throwing up to register it.
Alastor rolls his eyes, and says "As it turns out, that story has barely a grain of truth to it at all. Hence why Hell has some rather holy visitors today. The truth is far more gruesome, even by my standards."
"And that truth would be…?"
"Eve was brainwashed by someone - and it's looking like that someone is the woman Calli threatened to splatter all over the far wall. Lucifer went to the Garden to free her and bring her back to Calli's home, but could only do the first part as he'd been seen entering the Garden. He ended up becoming the scapegoat after Hell was discovered due to Calli's near-apocalyptic reaction to learning Eve had been controlled for so long. And, well, the rest is quite literally history. Apparently her campaign to establish the Morningstars as Hell's royal family is documented in history books."
Vox swallows, and mutters "That explains your girlfriend's rage-persona…" At Alastor's look, he asks "What? You're saying you two aren't an item?"
Alastor rolls his eyes once more, and flatly says "We haven't put a name to us. Dating sounds childish, we aren't married, 'friends with benefits is much more Valentino's style-" At Vox's offended sound, Alastor asks "What did you call yourself and the bug, then?"
Vox blinks a few times, mouth opening and closing for a moment, and eventually says "We- well, we were- I mean…" What, exactly, is he supposed to say? Val was a business partner, not a random bed warmer - but he wasn't just a business partner either, not with all the sex they had over the past two decades. They didn't get married, weren't engaged, but until Velvette came into the picture they'd split the company 50-50…
After a very long minute, Alastor says "Exactly. Maybe I'll have a name for you when you get back to me in three to five business days."
Vox lets out a startled laugh before he can help himself, staring at Alastor with wide eyes - and Alastor staring back at him like a deer in the headlights, looking for all the world like he can't believe that slipped out anymore than Vox can. Well, Vox thinks in near-total disbelief, maybe we can go back to being friends…
And then Calli walks back in, two large steaming bowls of Jambalaya floating behind her, and she makes a pushing motion that sends one bowl over to Alastor. "Food was taking too long the usual way this time. Mine tasted the same, so it should be good."
Vox blinks at the sight - wasn't her shoulder injured?! - then again when Calli sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose, and asks "You want a bowl to?"
"Uh…come again?"
"I'd be a pretty shit host to not offer up something to eat since you're right here. You want something or not?"
Vox glances at Alastor, who's already got the spoon in his mouth, and says "Uh…sure? Thanks?" A bowl of Jambalaya suddenly appears in front of him. Vox blinks, even as Calliope starts digging into her own bowl, and asks "How…?"
Alastor says "Her magic can recreate anything she's experienced. Including food. And she's an excellent cook, no matter how she makes the food."
Vox glances at the way Calliope's eating like she hasn't had food all day, remembers how she's apparently been gone for seven hours, and decides not to make any comment one way or another - not even about it being a shame he has no sense of smell anymore, what with his head being a tv.
Seven straight hours fighting a dragon, injured shoulder…and she looks low-key exhausted. He'd like to keep his head intact as much as possible.
And then he puts a spoonful of Jambalaya in his mouth, and he's pretty sure whatever components he has in his head that regulate his sense of taste completely fry because this is abso-fucking-lutely delicious.
From Alastor's highly-amused glance, his face glitched as well.
After a moment, he says "I would ask if you wanted to be on a cooking show, but I remember the microwave."
Alastor snickers, not even trying to hide the fact. Calli, on the other hand, looks him dead in the eye and says "I'd bankrupt you with fees for Warding the entire Tower from top to bottom first, Vox. Yes, that was an actual business in my old world. And, yes, literally every single piece of electronic equipment would need to be Warded or you risk it all going nuclear and putting the old-school television the Hotel had to shame."
Vox nods, putting another spoonful into his mouth, and asks "Where'd you learn to cook like this, exactly?"
Calli rolls her eyes, and says "I've been alive for a very long time, Vox, and I've been cooking since I was tall enough to see over the stove on a step-stool. It's not really a question of where."
Vox mutters "Shit, this is amazing..."
Alastor shoots him his distinct 'I told you so!' look, and Calli says "That's what they all say...especially the ones that accuse me of roofie-ing my food."
Vox groans, and says "Great, you both like to make jabs at people...I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't exactly in my right mind back then."
Calli raises one eyebrow, then says "You...didn't know Valentino could release pheromones from his body at will. Or that he was drugging you. Or that the sheer amount of his Venom had built up in your system to the point it took several hours for you to actively purge it."
"You make it sound like I went around stoned out of my mind..."
"You had red streaks coming out the corner of your mouth."
"Uh," Michael's voice calls over, and they all glance over at him looking absolutely horrified in their direction, "what're you doing, Calli? Just wondering."
Calli flashes Alastor a grin that he immediately returns, and spins around to show him the bowl. "Eating, why?"
"No reason!"
Turning back to Alastor, Calli says "I think I traumatized him."
Alastor snorts, saying "Him and Husker both, it would seem. The very next day, there was zero Dragon's-Breath Bourbon back here when I went to make sure there was more Rye Whiskey. And Husker is never one to let anything run out."
Calli hums, then says "Blitz, Stolas, and I were drinking smoothies at three in the morning one time since all three of us were miles away from sleep...the sink smelled like a distillery. Pretty sure one or both of them dumped the extra-strong alcohols they thought might have a chance at getting me drunk earlier that day."
Vox just watches as the two banter back and forth, not even knowing if he should try to join in or not - on the one hand, it's pretty damn clear that she's here to stay in Alastor's life for the foreseeable future, maybe forever, and he can either accept that or walk away and never look back.
On the other hand, this woman has made it extremely clear that she can, in fact, make his head explode.
Calli glances over at him, and says "You're acting a lot calmer than the last time you were here."
Vox shrugs, saying "I've had to deal with that idiot the whole way here clean up the scene he made in V-Tower before doing that, and I've already had to bite the bullet and swallow my pride once so I can do it again and say I've been a lot more level-headed ever since that kitchen deep-clean. You, at least, are smart, competent...and I can't believe I'm even saying this, but some of the things you said during that kitchen cleaning session were pretty funny. Like the song you somehow played on Alastor's cane." When he looks up from his bowl, he sees both Alastor and Calli are staring at him with wide eyes. "What?"
Calli glances over at Alastor, asking "Is this how he was before?"
Alastor huffs, saying "More or less, yes."
Calli glances at him, and asks "You still feel like hypnotizing everyone who watches your ads?"
Vox coughs into his fist, remembering Velvette's ranting about what she said that Overlords meeting she crashed and now Alastor's account of an apocalyptic reaction over hearing someone had been controlled somehow, and says "That was geared towards getting people to buy stuff..." Or to keep reporters from getting wind of Valentino throwing yet another tantrum a few floors up.
"You gonna keep doing as much?"
"Stopped the day after we deep-cleaned the entire tower."
Calli gets a gleam in her eye all of a sudden, a grin crossing her face, and she leans towards Alastor before asking "You want to mess with Michael? Just a little?"
Alastor grins delightedly, asking "What're you thinking?"
"Lemonade in a bottle." She waves a hand, and suddenly there's two beer-sized glasses and a dark brown bottle. She pours the two glasses, muttering 'Colovara' as she does, and the liquid turns a color that looks like Bourbon.
Calli and Alastor clink their glasses together before draining them dry, and Vox just shakes his head while muttering "You two really do get along like a house on fire...I don't know whether to be impressed there's someone out there with a penchant for mischief and chaos to match Alastor's or terrified of the fact that you two managed to find each other." And then there's her Curse...Alastor must get endless entertainment being around this woman, then.
Alastor glances over Calli's shoulder as he refills their glasses, and nearly cackles before saying "He looks horrified. What did you do before I got down here that night?!"