Wednesday January 15
At the sound of the first knock of what would be the first arrival of a dozen for the evening, Severus sighed and called out a curt beckon to enter.
Instead of Bulstrode's pasty face and dark hair, Severus was surprised to see Dolores entering his office.
"Dolores," he said evenly, refraining from showing his surprise or his disdain. "How can I help you?"
Dolores smiled widely, her eyelids fluttering all the while. "As the Hogwarts High Inquisitor, I've come to assist you with your career advice, that is tonight, isn't it Severus?"
Severus felt his eyelid twitch, but as Dolores was already pulling up a chair, and Bulstrode's head was poking in the classroom, he attempted to simply get this over with quickly. He did not doubt that if he protested Dolores' 'assistance' that he would have a parchment thrust in his hands with a decree giving her the power to do precisely what she wished.
His headache began when Bulstrode grunted out her aspirations to become an inventor.
"What type of inventions do you foresee yourself working on?" Severus asked.
The idiot girl had hemmed and hawed until Severus lost his patience and sent her on her way with a handful of pamphlets for lower entry level positions within the Ministry.
"I'm afraid with grades like hers she'll be lucky to scorgify the lifts," Dolores tittered.
While incredibly rude, Dolores was not actually incorrect.
Severus suffered through a joint meeting with Crabbe and Goyle, both of whom decided to arrive together since they had the same career goal.
"Monster hunters," he repeated, staring in to their eager eyes. "You would like to hunt monsters after graduating."
"Yeah," Crabbe said, nodding like some type of vapid gorilla shaped bobble-head. "We'd find monsters, and kill 'em, and write a book about it."
Severus saw that they were both at least scraping by in both Care of Magical Creatures and Defense, the latter likely due to the 'Inquisitorial Squad' badges they had so stupidly pinned to their chests.
"I suggest you read up on alternative methods to earn income as killing monsters will not bring any profits until you actually sell a book," Severus told them. "Here."
He supplied them with the same pamphlets he gave Bulstrode. Despite Slytherin's ability to breed many leaders and high ranking officials, there were just as many former Slytherin's living out their lives completing menial tasks. Ambition was not always solely career driven, and cunning could only overtake brainpower so far.
Davis and Greengrass were two easier students to advise, even with Dolores breathing down his neck.
Davis wished to work in astronomy in some form, a field she was well-suited for with her current grades and courses. Severus provided her with a list of careers within the field and assured her that his office was open if she would like to speak more with him about it, but that perhaps Professor Sinistra was a better choice.
Greengrass was a pleasant surprise as she came prepared with her own transcripts and current schedule.
"I will be a Healer," she said, staring Severus down and daring him to contradict her.
Severus raised a brow at her challenging tone and looked over the paperwork she provided. "You are aware of the strenuous and time consuming education that Healing requires?"
"I am," she said primly. "I don't care. That's what I'm doing."
Severus handed her back her parchments with a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "Then I wish you the best of luck and shall see you in my NEWT level course next year."
Draco was quite the surprise. Draco came strutting in to his classroom, his light blonde hair perfectly styled, nose stuck up in the air, and announced that he would like to be a journalist.
Severus was caught by surprise for a moment. "A journalist?" he repeated.
"Yes sir," Draco said stiffly, defensive enough to remind Severus that his opinion here had the potential to wound his godsons feelings.
"Interesting," Severus said neutrally. "What draws you to that career? I always believed you would prefer working with creatures or go in to politics."
Draco glanced towards Dolores, maintaining his expressionless mask, and hummed thoughtfully.
"I plan on writing about magical creatures," he said. "Perhaps work on a publication for them."
Aah.
Lovegood.
Severus had forgotten about their courtship. Draco must be more enamored by the witch than he had expected.
"I see no dilemma with your courses and grades to prevent you from pursuing journalism," he said patiently. "Although I would recommend you continue on with potions next year, as I have high hopes to offer Lovegood an apprenticeship for a mastery I hope she pursues."
"Lovegood?" Dolores cackled. "The girl couldn't possibly be bright enough for a Mastery in Potions Severus. She's barely scraping by with an A in Defense, and her essays are complete disasters."
Severus was spared defending the witch that he considers to be his greatest pupil yet by Draco's indignant retort.
"Luna is a genius," he said, his eyes narrowing at Dolores. "She just doesn't find your class to be very worthwhile."
With that, Draco snatched up the pamphlet for journalism, a general one for writing, and the Potions Mastery one that Severus subtly slid to him before stalking out of the classroom quickly.
Dolores' mouth was gaping open, an accusing look aimed at Severus.
"Teenagers," Severus said drily with a shrug.
He would have to remember to award Draco points later though.
Severus' next student, Theodore, was trickier, as he knew what educational path he wished to follow, but not the specific career.
"Alchemy is terribly interesting," he said, leaning forward and pulling lightly on his shaggy brunette hair with both hands. "But so is space Professor. Can you imagine it? Exploring outer space?"
"That's a muggle concept," Dolores said with a faint sneer. "I think you'd be better off with something like teaching."
As that was an entirely asinine comment, neither Severus nor Theodore responded.
"You are not without a plethora of options," Severus assured him. "Your grades are excellent, your professors have sang your praises in your reviews, and I don't anticipate you encountering any struggles in any field you wish to enter."
Theodore nodded, not bothering to feint humility as they both knew the facts.
"However," Severus went on, "aerospace engineering is a muggle field. You would need to acquire muggle education to enter it. Are you prepared to get caught up to a muggle graduate level education?"
"I already have been," Theodore said proudly. "Hermione and I have been taking courses over the summer. They're online courses, so Hermione sends me the worksheets and I send them back and she submits my answers online. I've gotten all A's, which is the best grade in Muggle gradebooks."
Severus actually believed that between Greengrass, Draco, and Theodore that perhaps this night would not be a waste. Perhaps he had enough students with enough brains and ambition to make this feel worthwhile.
Until he sent Theodore on his way with a variety of pamphlets to pursue and was faced with Parkinson.
Who, apparently, aspired to 'marry rich'.
"That girl will be lucky to marry middle-class with her looks," Dolores muttered after Parkinson refused any pamphlets and left his classroom.
"Not everyone can be blessed with good looks Dolores," Severus said calmly with a sly look towards Dolores' own repulsive facial features.
Before Dolores could work through Severus' implied insult, Potter entered the classroom with bright eyes and a lazy strut.
"Seems silly to have me here when we both know what I'm doing, yeah?" he grinned, relaxing in the chair across from Severus and blatantly ignoring Dolores' greeting.
"I am required to record a session of advising with you, and thus," Severus spread his hands over the pamphlets, "here we are."
Potter plucked up a few of the colorful brochures that discussed various fields before scoffing. "Is there one for Minister of Magic in here?"
Dolores seemed to actually choke at Potter's innocent question.
"Minister?" She leaned towards Potter and her beady eyes went wide. "You want to be the next Minister of Magic?"
"I don't want to be the next Minister, I will be," Potter said with an arrogant drawl. "Hopefully Cornelius remains Minister until I come of age in 2010, then with 2012 being the next election year, I'd take over." Potter folded his hands across his abdomen with a smirk.
Severus was incredibly fond of the way that Potter's cool confidence had Dolores quite shaken.
"Does Minister Fudge know you plan on running against him?" Dolores asked sharply.
Potter chuckled and crossed his legs. "Course he does," he said. "We talked about it over tea last summer, didn't we? He said he'd be happy to be Minister well in to his nineties, but that losing to me wouldn't be a bad loss at all."
Severus had no doubt that Potter was directly quoting the Minister. No man in office could hope to run against Potter, especially when Potter's campaign was so neatly planned.
Step one was to vanquish the Dark Lord.
Step two was to remind the Wixen World of Britain that he vanquished the Dark Lord twice.
Severus believed that step three was to simply win in a landslide election.
And he was quite confident that step four was labeled 'complete chaos'.
Dolores seemed to accept Potter's words at face value as she coyly lowered her eyes and smiled. "I'm sure that Minister Fudge would be happy to teach you everything he knows," she said with a juvenile giggle unbecoming of both a professor or any self-respecting adult. "I could write him, if you'd like, and set something up?"
Potter raised a single brow at Dolores. "If I want to meet with Cornelius, I'll set it up myself. Thanks." He turned back to Severus and shook his head in blatant exasperation. "All set here?"
"Not quite," Severus said. "Since you rejected the offer from the Tutshill Tornados, what is your plan for the fourteen years between graduation and your Ministry position?"
"Pft," Potter scoffed and shrugged. "I'm still sending tryout memories to recruiters, aren't I? Just because I don't want to be reserve seeker doesn't mean someone else won't offer me a better position."
"And if that falls through?" Severus asked.
Potter's cool mask slipped for just a moment, just long enough for Severus to see that the foolish child had never even considered such a scenario.
"It won't," Potter said, calm and confident once more. "And if it does then I'll just hang out with you for fourteen years." Potter got to his feet with an impudent grin and unrepentant challenge in his eyes. "Here," he pulled a pain-relieved from his robe pocket and placed it on the table. "Figured you'd want that."
Potter was nearly to the doorway when Severus recognized the bottle from his own private stores. "Detention Harry," he called.
"Brill," Potter laughed and closed the door behind him.
"He is... quite ambitious," Dolores said. "I presume he gets that from you Severus?"
"Potter was born ambitious," he said indifferently. "The child will achieve every goal he has set for himself."
"Undoubtedly," Dolores giggled once more.
Severus went ahead and ignored decorum for once as he drank the pain reliever. If Dolores insisted on making irksome noises then he would need something to combat the migraine that this evening was causing.
Thankfully, Severus only had two more students.
Weasley wished to enter the Ministry, though he was uncertain as to which career would suit him best.
"You have always been skilled in strategy," Severus told him, thinking of the boys many recommendations during Potter's war meetings and his skill in both gambling and chess. "Why not pursue an area of consulting within one of the departments? Perhaps the DMLE?"
Weasley seemed pleased with Severus' recommendation and accepted the pamphlets he offered him easily.
Zabini, five minutes late for the meeting, did not bother to even sit. He leaned in Severus' doorway, crossing his arms and smirking at him.
"My life has been planned since I was eleven," he said with a bored drawl. "I'm going to offer my magical assistance to my allies, my physical assistance to many others. Then when Mother retires from the Italian Counsel, I'll take her place. Goodnight Professor."
Severus blinked as Zabini strolled out of his office, his head held high.
Had a child actually just told him that he essentially planned on living some sort of philandering lifestyle?
It was disturbing.
Amusing, certainly. But disturbing nonetheless.
After cleaning his classroom and dismissing Dolores rather curtly, Severus attempted to recall previous years of 'career advice' to his other Slytherins. He was quite certain that he had never had such a queer assortment of student career aspirations as he did this year. It was a struggle, but Severus did his best to blame Potter for it.
Life in the castle seemed to hit a blessedly calm plateau for a few weeks. Severus taught his classes, marked essays, and completed his rounds. He met with Minerva once a week and shared gossip and complaints.
Severus also met with various students and professors who had either complaints or compliments to share regarding Potter's defense club.
"He's making the students punch each other," Pomona snickered in the teachers lounge one night. "I popped in yesterday and he had a whole fight club going Severus!"
Severus had been incredibly amused by Potter's refusal to teach his fellow students actual magic, and lifted a shoulder carelessly.
"I presume the students are allowed to leave any time they want," he said. "It's hardly Harry's fault if they are choosing to act as punching bags."
"I'm thinking about offering him advanced charm lessons in exchange for boxing lessons," Filius said thoughtfully. "Do you think he'd go for it Severus?"
Severus considered Potter's glee at being asked by a professor to teach them something, an undeniable boost to the child's ever-expanding ego.
"Undoubtedly," he sighed.
Hagrid also returned to his teaching post, much to the complaints of the general student body who preferred Wilhelmina's teaching methods. Sybill was placed on probation by Dolores, which amused Severus and Minerva to no end. Severus received back a glowing review from his inspections, a review he promptly fed to the fire in his sitting room.
Severus knew it was foolish, but as he gathered nocturnal plants from the edge of the grounds one night, he believed that this was perhaps the most peace that he had experienced at Hogwarts since Potter's arrival.
Severus had gathered a basketful of ingredients, pleased with the plants that Pomona grew for his potions. He was making his way back to the castle, ruminating on if Pomona could be convinced to add an additional greenhouse for his own uses, when his peaceful evening was interrupted quite abruptly.
"Evening Sev," Nymphadora cut in to his silent musings with a bright smile and chipper voice. "Mind if I join you?"
"I do," Severus said curtly, though he was entirely ignored by the woman. He was annoyed that she had managed to surprise him, though he quickly chalked it up to her recent auror training and his lack of vigilance since being ousted as a spy. He glanced at Nymphadora and saw that she was sporting a thick cloak, as if she had been traveling. "Where are you coming from?" he asked politely, seeing as she was apparently accompanying him back to the castle.
"Hogsmeade," she said with a hint of a frown. "Charlie was drinking himself to death, so Rosemerta asked me to help him get home."
"Charlie?" Severus racked his brains until he recalled Nymphadora spending time with Charles Weasley during their school years. "Ah, Weasley," he said. "I take it that he has chosen to bury his grief in alcohol?"
"Yeah," she sighed and shoved her hands in her pockets. "He's not doing so great."
"I see." Severus had no advice to offer the witch on how to console a grieving friend, so he remained quiet as they walked alongside each other towards the castle entrance. Nymphadora did not remain similarly silent, as she began pointing out various constellations in the sky.
"See that one there?" she asked, drawing closer to Severus and gesturing up to the stars with her blue mittens. "That's Perseus, his brides name was Andromeda, which is where my grandmother got my mum's name from. Perseus was a Greek hero, he beheaded Medusa."
"Medusa was the one with snakes for hair, was she not?" Severus asked, never having found an interest in Greek Mythology.
"Yeah, she was beautiful, but got cursed with the snakes by Athena, the Goddess of Righteousness, for being seduced in one of Athena's temples by Poseidon."
"That hardly seems fair," Severus mused, staring up at the stars in the middle of the lawns.
Nymphadora inched closer to Severus, her arm brushing his as she spoke. "It wasn't," she said with a sense of indignation in her tone. "Some people say that Poseidon forced himself on Medusa, but Athena couldn't punish him so she just punished Medusa. I think if I ever had a daughter, I'd name her Medusa."
Severus' lips twitched in amusement as he looked over at Nymphadora. "You would name your daughter after a woman who was assaulted, had her hair turned to snakes, and was beheaded by Perseus?"
"Yup." Nymphadora had a crooked smile, a guileless and open crooked smile. "But it's because I think Medusa stands for injustice and the need for feminism, don't you?"
"Hmm," Severus thought it over as he slowly resumed walking. "Perhaps," he allowed. "Is Nymphadora not a Greek name as well?"
"It is." Severus looked over and saw Nymphadora rolling her eyes. "It means 'gift of the Nymphs', not nearly as interesting as a woman with snakes for hair."
Severus chuckled without meaning to at her petulant tone. "Nymphadora is a unique name," he told her. "You should be pleased to have it."
"Was that a compliment?" Nymphadora asked, her eyes twinkling. "From you Sev? I thought you barely knew my name and here I find out that you think it's unique."
Severus scowled to cover his previous slip-up. "As I taught you for seven years, it would be difficult to not know your name."
Nymphadora ignored the blatant reminder of the discrepancy between their ages and shrugged. "Is that why you won't have a drink with me?" she asked. "Because you remember me at eleven? I have grown up since then," she winked.
Severus' rebuttal, that he was attempting to come up with quickly, was spared by the arrival of a silver lynx.
"We need you in the Headmasters office," Shacklebolt's calm and steady voice said to Nymphadora. "Immediately."
Nymphadora wasted no time and all but pushed past Severus as she began sprinting up the castle stairs.
Severus could have went down to his quarters, put away the ingredients he had harvested, and he should have. Instead, he found himself following Nymphadora's trail through the castle and up to the Headmasters office. He did take a shortcut, in an effort to time his arrival alongside hers so he could be granted entrance to whatever spectacle was unfolding.
Nymphadora raised a pink brow at him when she jogged up to the entrance, but shrugged and let him follow her once the gargoyles opened the door without the password.
The scene that Severus and Nymphadora burst in to was one of such absurdity that no one bothered to question Severus' presence.
Albus was standing behind his desk, his eyes lit with a furious fire and fixed on Dolores. Dolores was holding Ginevra Weasley by the shirt collar in one hand, and Seamus Finnigan in the other. The Minister himself was standing beside where Finnigan was being held, a triumphant expression on his face.
Severus backed to where Minerva was standing, raising a quizzical brow at her only to have the witch shake her head.
"What's going on?" Nymphadora asked Shacklebolt, who was flanking the Minister.
"What's going on is that Dumbledore is being arrested for conspiracy!" Fudge cried, bouncing on his feet with entirely too much excitement for the given situation.
"A ludicrous and baseless accusation," Minerva said. "From a—"
"That is enough," Albus told Minerva with a pointed look. "I would like to hear the evidence against me. And I would like for you to unhand my students," he added coolly to Dolores.
Dolores didn't look inclined to cooperate, until Severus twitched his wand subtly at his side and sent a stinging hex at the woman. He had no affection for two of the children who had caused his ward the most grief out of the student body, but he would hardly stand to the side as children were man-handled either.
"These children were caught participating in, leading, a group of students in illegal activities according to Decree Number Seven," Dolores said. "And they called themselves Dumbledore's Army."
"Dumbledore's Army!" Fudge yelled. "I knew you were abusing your position to raise an army up Albus! And here's the proof!"
Severus bit back a scoff that threatened to escape him. Albus had been hand-selecting students to be a part of the prestigious Order since the times of Grindewald. Although he was certain that was not what this was, it was hardly a revolutionary concept.
"A poorly chosen name for a group of children who wished to study defense," Minerva said. "I don't see how that warrants Albus' arrest!"
"It was our idea," Ginevra spat. "We wanted—"
"Quiet girl," Severus said sternly, doing a small favor for Frederick in keeping his sister from somehow being expelled or arrested as well. "Hold your foolish tongue."
Ginevra clearly did not appreciate Severus' reprimand if her hate-filled glare was any indicator, but it seemed as if she were being ignored either way as Minerva and Dolores argued.
"Why wouldn't they join the approved Defense Club if that's all that this was?" Dolores asked Minerva. "If this wasn't in fact a training group for Albus' private army?"
"Probably because they don't get along with Harry and didn't want to join his club." Minerva was all but growling as she stared down Dolores. "Again, I don't see how that's Albus' problem."
"We'll just clear this up at the Ministry," Fudge said with a calming hand on Dolores' shoulder. "Shacklebolt, Tonks, arrest him."
Albus smiled at the aurors' hesitation to grab him. "I'm afraid I have no intention of being arrested Cornelius," he said calmly.
"You plan to fight my aurors single-handedly?" Fudge sneered.
"Merlin no," Albus said with a kind smile towards Nymphadora and Shacklebolt. "I intend to leave," Albus clapped his hands above his head and grabbed the tail feathers of his Phoenix, Fawkes, "You will regret this decision Cornelius."
"Seize him!" Fudge screamed at the aurors. Before either one of them could make an attempt to grab on to Albus, with a blinding flash of silver light and a screech from the Phoenix, Albus disappeared.
"Where did he go?" Fudge cried, gaping at the spot where Albus had disappeared from.
"We'll find him sir," Shacklebolt said calmly.
"See that you do," Fudge seethed, clearly distressed from the loss of arresting Albus. "Minerva! Take those two to their beds," he gestured carelessly to Weasley and Finnigan.
Minerva said nothing to Fudge, guiding the two Gryffindor's towards the office door. Severus followed behind them, waiting until the lower office door closed to sneer at the idiotic students who caused such a debacle due to their inability to either follow the rules or at least operate with some sense of secrecy.
"A week of detention," he told them. "And fifty points from Gryffindor, each."
Finnigan opened his mouth to argue, looking scandalized, but Minerva cut him off.
"Two weeks of detention," she said. "What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?"
Severus smiled to himself as Weasley and Finnigan's arguments were put down by an obviously furious Minerva as they went their separate directions.
Although, Severus lost his smile the next morning at the notice that was plastered along every corridor of the castle. Dolores clearly had wasted no time in marking her territory.
He had always idly wondered if there could possibly be a more galling Headmaster at Hogwarts than Albus had been with his preferential treatment of some students, his inherent distrust of others, and his overall secrecy and never ending plots.
It seemed that there was.
BY ORDER OF The Ministry of Magic
Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-eight.
Signed:
Cornelius Oswald Fudge MINISTER OF MAGIC