Friday March 26
"This isn't real," Harry groaned, burying his head in his hands. "Lue, tell me I'm dreaming. Tell me I'm having a nightmare. Fuck, tell me I'm dead."
"You could be having a dream," Luna said thoughtfully. "Try jumping out of a window, see if you can fly. If you fly, you're dreaming. If you die, it was all real and a terrible tragedy."
"Do not do that," Theo said hastily. "Merlin, Luna. What is wrong with you?"
"She's right about the tragedy though," Draco said morosely. He was slumped down on the sofa in front of the fire, looking as miserable as Harry felt. "This is- is—,"
"Bollocks," Ron added helpfully. "Utter bollocks."
"You quidditch people are ridiculous," Hermione sighed. "Don't you specifically train for situations just like this?"
Harry lifted his head and looked at Hermione incredulously. "Are you completely fuckin insane?" he asked. "Do we train for our keeper to 'accidentally' blow up a cauldron and cover himself in burns and end up in the Hospital Wing the night before our match?"
Harry had felt a vein throb in his forehead just from repeating what Snape told him an hour ago. Of all the times for King to be a dunderhead in potions, and he picked now? For someone who boasted about being so smart, so amazing at his classes, King was an idiot.
"Exactly," Hermione said flatly, completely unsympathetic to Harry's problem. "Isn't that precisely what you train for?"
Harry hissed at her, cursing at her in Parsletongue since he knew Theo would be pissed if he did it in English.
"Well... that is what Bailey's for though, right?" Fred asked. He was sitting on the floor by Harry's feet and was rubbing circles on the back of his legs. It was probably supposed to be comforting, but Harry wasn't much in the mood to be comforted.
"Harry doesn't want to play keeper with scouts coming," Susan said. "He plays his best as seeker."
Harry groaned again, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses.
Susan was right. Keeper was his worst position, and the least likely area where he could show any type of skill as a flier. Recruiters didn't want to make him an offer to play seeker if they only saw him play keeper.
"I fuckin hate King," Harry said. He laid his head back on the sofa and hit it lightly on the wood frame a few times. "I knew I should have never put him on our team."
"He was the best in tryouts. Don't put yourself down Harry, you're a good enough keeper." Daphne smiled at Harry from her place on the floor beside Ron, having joined their group after Harry announced to his players the change in lineup for the game tomorrow. "And Trent's so excited to play seeker, look at him."
Harry and the others followed Daphne's eyes over to the corner of the room where Trent was eagerly waving his arms around and talking excitedly with a group of other second years. Harry's lips curled up just a little at his obvious joy.
He just wished it didn't have to come at such a cost.
"I don't have a great speech," Harry told his team flatly. He looked over his players; Draco, Ron, and Daphne, all bright eyed and eager to play. Declan and Bradford were clutching their brooms, both looking a little pale, but steady as they stared him down. And, of course, Trent whose smile was so wide that Harry thought the kid could summon a patronus just from standing here in the locker room with them.
"We have to win though," Harry said. "If we lose today, then..." Harry swallowed harshly, clearing his impending disappointment from his face. "If we lose, then Ravenclaw has to lose against Hufflepuff by over four hundred points for us to have any chance at the cup this year."
Which didn't sound like a very likely outcome in Harry's opinion.
"We can win Harry," Daphne said bracingly. "We can do it."
"We've never lost a match yet," Ron said.
They all ignored the year that Diggory won on a fuckin technicality.
"I'll catch the snitch super quickly," Trent added.
There was nothing against Trent, Harry liked the kid enough, but...
But to stake his whole future on Trent's ability to catch the snitch before the other team did?
Harry didn't want to stake his future on anyone except himself.
"We won't let you down coach," Declan said.
"'Kay." Harry sighed and nodded at them all. "Don't fuck up, just... let's just fuckin win, yeah?"
The team all held their broomsticks high, shouting their assurances out loud as if that would make it come true.
Harry was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but he gave it a shot as he led his team to the field.
"Don't let us lose," he said up to the sky.
The others followed behind him in formation, standing tall as their friends and housemates yelled for them from the stands. Harry ignored them as he stepped towards Chang, the Ravenclaw captain, and listened to Madame Hooch's usual speech.
"I want a nice clean game," she said. She narrowed her hawk-like eyes at Harry specifically, which was rude. "No cheating, no obscenities, no trying to get away with bending the rules. Is that understood?"
"Yes," Harry and Chang said.
"Captain! Shake hands!"
"Good luck Harry," Chang smiled as she grabbed Harry's hand.
"Better luck next year Chow," Harry said blithely.
The two of them backed up, both holding their brooms at their sides.
"Mount your brooms!"
This was it.
Harry really didn't want to lose.
He swung his leg over the broom, appreciating the way it felt like liquid magic beneath his body.
"Go!"
Harry kicked off at Hooch's whistle, flying quickly towards the goalposts.
"AND IN A SHOCKING TWIST— SLYTHERIN CAPTAIN AND SEEKER IS PLAYING KEEPER TODAY," Lee Jordan called over the magical megaphone. "WHICH LEAVES RESERVE SEEKER, SECOND YEAR TRENT BAILEY, PLAYING AS SEEKER!"
Harry usually tried to close out all the commentary, all the extra noise, when he played as seeker. But as keeper, he had to listen. He needed to be ready if Lee announced who had the quaffle.
Lee liked to play favorites when it was Gryffindor playing, but it wasn't so bad when his house and his friends weren't one of the teams on the field.
"SLYTHERIN TAKES QUICK POSSESSION OF THE QUAFFLE, GREENGRASS IS SHOOTING THROUGH THE SKY TOWARDS THE RAVENCLAW POSTS— SHE SHOOTS AND SHEEEEE SCORES! WHAT A GAL!"
Harry let out a breath in relief, holding his position firm in the center hoop. He risked a quick glance around the stands and lifted a hand towards where Susan and Fred were holding a giant green banner high. He also saw Sirius and Snape in the teachers stands, both sporting green scarves.
Something that Harry found a lot funnier now that Sirius was Head of Gryffindor.
He turned back to the game though, squinting against the sunshine as he tried to track the quaffle with his eyes as much as he was through Lee's commentary.
"Cho Chang, sixth year Ravenclaw captain, is flying high to look for the snitch. Bailey seems to be taking a different approach, just look at him!"
Harry tried to find Trent and scowled once he did.
"Get up in the air," he growled, despite Trent having no way to hear him. He had no idea why Trent was darting around the players, zigzagging between them and ducking his head to avoid being hit, but he was increasing his chances of injury to a stupid level.
And Harry couldn't play keeper and seeker, could he?
... could he?
No.
It was probably against the bloody rules somewhere.
"RAVENCLAW CHASER ALDWIN HAS THE QUAFFLE, HE PASSED TO MORANG, WHO PASSES TO WATSON, WHO SHOOTS AND—,"
Harry sped to the right goalpost as quick as he could, but...
"SCORES! THE GAMES TIED NOW AT 10-10 AND WEASLEY TAKES POSSESSION OF THE QUAFFLE!"
"You'll get the next one," Draco called as he turned quickly in front of the posts and flew back in the other direction.
"Piss off," Harry muttered darkly. He didn't need coddled, he needed to be better.
Harry kept a sharp eye on the quaffle, floating between the goal posts and feeling sweat build on his forehead.
All he wanted, all he wanted, was to be on a professional team. He wanted to matter. He wanted to be someone important.
He wanted to be the best.
And he looked like the worst player out here right now.
He nodded at Trent as the kid went flying by, his robes trailing behind him like a green cape.
The game seemed to be take much longer when he was in front of the posts. He hated playing keeper. Harry clapped when Lee announced that Declan just hit Chang with a bludger, idly wishing Declan had been the one in the hospital wing instead.
Harry didn't like King, but he'd much rather play beater than keeper.
At some point, when the score was 50-30 in Ravenclaw's favor, and Harry's blood was boiling with his own god damned incompetence, he called for a time-out.
"GET HIGHER IN THE AIR!" he yelled at Trent the second his team huddled around him. "WHY ARE YOU FLYING AROUND THE PLAYERS?"
"I'm— I'm looking for the snitch," Trent said, his smile sliding right off his face. "I thought if Lee said Cho saw it then I'd follow her, but if not—,"
"I don't care," Harry cut him off. "If you get cracked in the head with a bat before you find the snitch then you're off the team."
Harry ignored the looks on his teams faces as they flew back as their time-out ended. He didn't have time to play nice, he was fucking up left and right and this game was literally riding on Trent's skinny shoulders.
Harry had already lost his shot at going pro younger than Viktor did, he didn't want to lose the cup as his first real year of captaincy too.
Harry blocked a few shots from the Ravenclaw chasers, though he let in two more goals.
He really wished that his magic would keep him from grinding his teeth, but apparently, according to Snape, there wasn't a spell to do that with.
And, supposedly, 'even the Great Harry Potter cannot simply wish for spells to solve every little problem he had'.
Snape was such a bastard sometimes.
"IT LOOKS LIKE RAVENCLAW SEEKER CHANG HAS FOUND THE SNITCH!" Lee yelled. "SHE'S HEADED TOWARDS IT- THIS GAME COULD ALL BE OVER! SHE'S REACHING FOR IT, AND- Ooh, a foul hit by Slytherin beater Bradford! Yes, there's Madame Hooch's whistle!"
"Foul by Bradford!" Hooch yelled. "Penalty shot to Ravenclaw!"
Harry's mood was high at both Bradford's foul shot, saving the game for them, and his own lucky shot as he kept Aldwin from scoring.
"The game continues!" Lee said. "Malfoy takes possession of the quaffle, passing to long-time friend Weasley. Now, personally, I've always thought those two work a little too well together, if you know what I mean."
Harry smirked as the stands erupted in loud laughter. Lee really wasn't too bad as an announcer when Gryffindor wasn't playing. He was pretty funny, which Harry figures he gets from spending so much time with Fred and George.
"Weasley throws the quaffle to Greengrass, Watson tries to block, but Greengrass catches it, she takes her shot and she makes it! The scores up to 70-50 for Ravenclaw! But Aldwin takes the quaffle— what is Bailey doing?"
Harry had been so focused on tracking the quaffle that he hadn't noticed Trent rocketing towards the side of the field. He was bent over his broom handle, his face twisted up in concentration. Harry couldn't see that far out, but he would almost bet that Trent was going after the snitch.
"IT'S THE GOLDEN SNITCH!" Lee yelled. "BAILEY'S SPOTTED IT AND HE'S HOT ON THE TRAIL! CHANG IS TRYING TO CATCH UP, BUT BAILEY HAS THE LEAD!"
"C'mon, c'mon." Harry kept half his attention on Trent, his other half on watching to make sure none of the Ravenclaw chasers tried to score while his attention was divided. Morang had the quaffle, and was headed straight towards the leftmost goalpost. Harry flew to it, intending to block it—
"BAILEY CATCHES THE GOLDEN SNITCH! SLYTHERIN WINS! 200-70! MERLIN WHAT A GAME!"
Harry felt a surge of joy shoot through him; a bittersweet win was still a win after all, and he quickly flew to the ground with his team.
"I did it! Harry, I did it!" Trent had the snitch held high in his hands, his face overflowing with so much happiness that Harry actually felt a brief pang of sadness.
Had he ever been so happy at twelve years old?
"You did," Harry told him. He smiled down at Trent and ruffled his hair like Sirius always did to him. "Good job kid."
"You owe Trent an apology," Daphne said. Her blue eyes looked cold as she narrowed them at Harry, causing the others to go quiet. "You yelled at him, but if he'd been up above the other players he might not have gotten to the snitch so fast."
Harry blinked at Daphne, surprised and insulted at her fuckin audacity. Except... he looked at Trent again and withheld a sigh at his kicked puppy look in his wide eyes and curved shoulders.
"I... apologize," Harry grimaced lightly. "I said you did good, and you did."
Harry didn't care how much Ron fancied Daphne, a fact he knew from Susan and Neville's gossip, he wouldn't ever be peer-pressured in to apologizing again.
"That's as good as it gets Trent," Draco laughed. He slung his arm over Ron's shoulder, the both of them grinning like mad. "Who's ready to celebrate??"
The rest of the team cheered, and Harry thought his apology didn't really matter since Draco and Ron lifted Trent up and carried him on their shoulders as the group ran towards the castle. Even with Harry's outburst earlier, that kid looked like he might as well be floating on clouds.
"You did it!" Susan hugged Harry tightly, lingering when she felt his arms uncharacteristically tighten on her for a brief moment. "What's wrong?" she whispered. "You guys won Harry."
Harry pulled back and looked around the overflowing Slytherin common room, packed to the edges with students celebrating their teams win. No one was paying attention to him, they were all happily eating, dancing, talking, and laughing. He shrugged one shoulder in a mopey show of disappointment.
"I let in seven goals," he said softly, scuffing his boot on the stone floor. "I lost my chance to get recruited Sue. I don't have a backup plan, you know that was all I wanted."
Susan grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him off to the window alcove that had the little seat built in to it. She waited until they were both sitting, legs intertwined and hands clasped before she spoke up. "Why do you think you lost your chance? Your team won."
"Trent won, Draco and Ron and Daphne won, even Declan and Bradford won today. What the fuck did I do? Besides let in a bunch of goals and look like a prat?"
"You led them," Susan said earnestly. "When they shine, you shine. Every single goal the chasers make just goes to show what a good captain and trainer you are. And Trent catching the snitch? That was definitely on you Harry. You put him on the team, you trained him from the ground up. Who cares if you're not as good at keeping as you are seeking? Professional teams only want one player for each position anyway. They know you applied to be seeker. All you proved today was that you can lead a team to victory even when you're not seeking."
Harry chewed his lower lip and flicked his eyes around the room slowly. "You think I'll still get another offer?"
"I know there was a recruiter from the Canons and one from Puddlemere," Susan assured him. "They kept a close eye on you. I bet you'll hear from at least one of them by the end of the year."
Harry inhaled through his nose, then released it out his mouth slowly. He bent forward until he could rest his aching head on Susan's knee. "What would I do without you?"
Susan laughed lightly and carded soft fingers through Harry's tangled black curls. "You would have died in first year drinking the wrong potion trying to steal that stone from Dumbledore."
"Mm. I got the Sphinx though, didn't I?" he murmured, closing his eyes as Susan's fingers seemed to ease his headache just a little.
"That was just luck," Susan scoffed quietly. "You need me."
Harry lifted his head up enough to lock eyes seriously with her. He never thought he'd admit it, especially not out loud to someone who could possibly ever use it against him, but he nodded shortly before nestling his head back on her legs. "Always, Sue."
Despite Harry's half-arsed apology to Trent, the kid did manage to make him feel a little badly again the next day when he stopped by his spot at the breakfast table.
"Morning Harry," he said brightly. "I wanted to tell you that if you want me to learn how to play keeper, I can. So if you need a keeper again then I can do it."
"Because I'm bloody awful?" Harry asked sharply his neck feeling hot at Trent's offer.
Trent shook his head, his eyes wide as he denied Harry's accusation. "No," he said quickly. "It's just... it's just you said you hate being keeper, and I wanted to help you."
Harry's ever-present anger (something he was blaming on Timmy's increasing attacks on his mind) disappeared quickly in place of embarrassment.
"We'll see," Harry told him. "Let's talk at practice on Tuesday, yeah?"
"Okiedokie," Trent smiled. "Thanks Harry!"
Harry watched as Trent ran off, and shook his head. "Did he just say 'okiedokie'?"
"Better than the bullshit he picks up from you," Susan snickered.
As if Harry didn't get a decent amount of swears from Susan herself.
"He is your number one fan." Fred flicked Harry's ear gently and grinned at him. "Next thing you know he'll be finding his own handsome red-headed boyfriend to copy you Darlin."
"Bailey has an actual Harry Potter poster in his dorm," Draco laughed. "I can't believe he hasn't asked you to sign it yet."
"Don't make fun of him," Luna said, nudging Draco lightly in the ribs. "I used to have a Harry Potter poster when I was a kid too."
"Oh Lue." Harry sighed and shook his head at her. "You're joking, aren't you?"
"Nope. Daddy got it for me, it had a lightning bolt on it and I used to talk to it and pretend you were my friend. I didn't have any other friends back then."
Harry had no idea what to say to that bit of uncomfortable honesty, but Fred stepped in to save them all from the awkward moment.
"It's the power of positive thinking," he winked at Luna. "You manifested your future Luna, you wanted to be friends with Harry and now you are. Trelawney would be so proud."
Luna smiled, happy with Fred's response, and the rest of them got in to a debate on if it's actually possible to manifest a future with positive thinking.
Shockingly, Hermione and Theo thought it sounded like nonsense and Susan and Luna firmly believed it was possible.
"You're a genius," Harry murmured to Fred under the cover of the argument between Susan and Hermione.
Fred chuckled and nudged Harry's leg with his own beneath the table. "I know," he said. "But I like to hear you say it."
"Well you only get to hear it once," Harry said stubbornly.
"Oh I bet I can get you to compliment my giant brain again today," Fred said.
Harry scoffed, but it was a bet he lost.
The two of them had a brilliant morning hanging out on the grounds. The sun was finally starting to shine and chase away a bit of the cold winter that had stuck around so long.
They were lounging on the banks of the lake, both out of breath from their mock-battle using only joke shop items. Fred had a clear advantage, as he knew the products better than Harry did, but Harry didn't mind losing a fight just this once.
Harry would almost say that it was a perfect kind of day, just the thing he needed to get over the disappointment from yesterday, up until a stray comment Fred made.
"Feels weird to be turning eighteen," he said while he played with a strand of Harry's hair. "In just a couple months I'll be finished with school, out in the real world, trying to make a go of it."
Harry's entire body stiffened as he considered the date.
The 28th.
Fuck.
Fred's birthday, the last birthday they'd get to spend together at Hogwarts, was in four days.
And Harry completely forgot.
Harry flipped over so he could watch Fred's face closely. "Are you going to find someone else?" he asked. "When you're gone, will you?"
It sounded stupid to ask, asking bluntly for a reassurance of their relationship status after Fred graduates, but he did need to know.
Fred's eyes were calm, his voice patient. "Never Darlin. You're stuck with me."
"Forever?" Harry asked. "You're mine forever?"
"Forever," Fred confirmed. "I love you."
"Brill." Harry sat up and kissed him lightly before jumping to his feet. "I gotta go, I'll see you at dinner."
Harry left Fred shaking his head with bemusement as he rushed back to the castle.
Apparently he needed to find a birthday present for Fred. And it needed to be something amazing, something to remind him that he was Harry's even when Harry wasn't around all the time to remind him himself.
"Draco!"
Harry burst in the library and immediately found his friends in their usual spot studying.
I can't wait for OWLS to be over.
They better not be like this during NEWTS as well.
"Shh!" Hermione reprimanded him, which only prompted Harry to put up a silencing charm.
Draco looked wary at Harry's flushed cheeks and windswept hair, proof that he'd literally ran from the lake to the library. "What?"
"You like shopping, yeah?" Harry squeezed between Draco and Susan and tried out Susan's puppy eye trick on Draco. "I need you to help me pick out a gift for Fred's birthday. It's an emergency."
"Professor Snape really should teach you the meaning of emergencies," Hermione said drily.
Harry ignored her. Snape thought everything was an emergency, so he'd probably understand this was too.
"You still don't have a gift for Fred?" Theo asked. "Harry, his birthday is in like... four days!"
"Thanks Theo, I had no idea," Harry snarled. "What the fuck d'you think I'm doing now??"
"Being annoying," Susan said sweetly. She tilted her head until it rested on Harry's shoulder for a few seconds. "Why don't you go look in a book or something? Try researching 'eighteenth birthday gifts for prankster boyfriends'."
"I don't think they make books like that, but courting books have gifts with different meanings in them," Hermione said. "You could check those Harry."
It was as good of an idea as any.
"Dray, can I read your book on courting?" Harry asked Draco, desperate now for an idea as Fred's birthday was coming up in a matter of days.
"You're not a pureblood, and I doubt Fred even understands courting rituals," Draco said.
"I don't think that's what I asked, was it?" Harry blinked at Draco.
"There's got to be fifty books on courting rituals here," Draco said, his voice taking on a slight whine. "Can't you find one of them? I've got to revise Harry."
"I'll do it," Hermione offered surprisingly. "I know where a whole shelf of them are."
And Hermione must really have the whole library memorized, because it only took her a few minutes to come back with a stack of five books.
"Ta Mione," Harry nodded appreciatively. He flipped through the books idly, looking for inspiration as his friends studied.
All of these ideas just seemed so posh, so obstinate, so not like Fred.
They all did seem like Draco though. Harry slyly glanced at Luna; her long blonde hair loose and hanging over her shoulders, her mismatched earrings (one carrot and one tulip), and her silver sparkly blouse beneath her unbuttoned robes.
These gifts didn't seem much like Luna either, but Harry caught her smiling shyly at Draco, her cheeks pink and her eyes warm, so Harry assumed she likes the whole 'courting' thing.
Or, she likes Draco enough to put up with it.
That seemed more likely.
He turned back to the books and desperately looked for one that would be good enough for Fred's upcoming birthday.
Most of the gifts had different meanings attached to them:
Flowers for blossoming romance.
Sweets to show intimate knowledge of one another.
Clothes as a domestic gift for established long-term relationships.
It seemed like you couldn't buy a simple quill without it having a secret meaning.
Harry finished the first book, set it off to the side, and raised a brow as Ron quickly snatched it.
"What?" Ron said defensively, his ears turning red. "I'm just curious."
Draco snorted, which Harry mentally noted and intended to question him on later. For now though, Harry just shrugged and grabbed the next book to look through. He only had a couple of days to find a gift, a perfect gift, and he'd never been so stressed over it before.
Fred was one of very few people that Harry knew he could trust. He made Harry happy, made him forget about his other problems when they were together. Fred was Harry's, and Harry was going to partially lose him after this summer. He couldn't just get him joke items from Zonkos or candy from Honeydukes, as he had in the past, he had to find something perfect.
And he had to find it quick.
It wasn't until he was halfway through the third book that he found it.
"This." Harry slammed his hand on the page and looked around at his friends. "It's perfect."
His friends leaned over to look at the book before sitting back and giving him similar looks of surprise. Except Luna, she was positively beaming.
"That's..." Susan shook her head and grabbed Harry's hand. She looked him in the eyes, her face just as soft as her voice, "That's a lot Harry."
"You sure mate?" Ron squinted at the page. "I mean... you sure?"
"It's perfect," Harry repeated stubbornly. "D'you think I have enough time to order it before the first?"
"I don't think so," Neville said with a frown. "Gran uses a shop in Hogsmeade though, maybe you could see if they'd expedite the order for the Boy-Who-Lived?"
"Even expedited it would need customized," Hermione said. "That alone would take a few days. If Sevvie could even get the order to them today."
Harry sighed and looked his friends over carefully as he tried to decide who would be the most helpful with this.
"Hey Blaise, wanna go shopping with me?" he asked hopefully.
Blaise was a good choice. He was smart, stylish, knew a lot of pureblood bullshit, and he was usually down for an adventure.
"To Hogsmeade?" Blaise asked carefully, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully.
"Yup."
"We don't have a Hogsmeade weekend for two more weeks," Hermione murmured, her attention already back to her runes book.
Harry smirked at Blaise, who returned the look.
"Let's go get your boyfriend a birthday gift Harry," Blaise said cheerfully.
By the time the two of them slipped back in the castle, hidden beneath the cloak and using the map for guidance, Harry was practically vibrating with excitement.
"You're ridiculous," Blaise told him.
He probably was. But he thought Fred probably liked him anyway.