Sunday April 11
Harry looked at Tonks, who was laying on Snape's sofa (the sofa where he's slept a few times) with her hair all messy and sleep lines on her face. He glanced down at her lap and saw the quilt he usually uses when he sleeps on the sofa all wrapped around her. Then he looked across the room at Snape's passive face and felt a sting of what he could only describe as betrayal and narrowed his eyes at him.
"What the fuck?" he demanded.
Tonks said something, but Harry ignored her as he focused on Snape. Snape who was just staring at him with his easy blank face and slightly wide eyes.
"You will need to elucidate past 'what the fuck', Harry," Snape finally said, his voice calm and even. "If you have a question, ask it."
"Alright, what the fuck is going on?" Harry asked coolly. He adopted a passive mask to mimic Snape's own as they continued their stare off.
"Nymphadora and I were going to have breakfast, would you like to join us?"
"Would I...?" Harry blinked a few times to make sure he understood Snape correctly. "No," he laughed bitterly. "No I wouldn't, have fun eating breakfast with Nymphadora," he spat. He gave Tonks a cold look, irritated with her presence before turning on his heel and storming right back out the door he came in.
He didn't know this about himself until now, but he hated Tonks. Hated her stupid pink hair and her sweet smiles that, looking at it clearly now, were so obviously fake. He had always prided himself on being a good judge of character, but Tonks fooled him.
"Ugh." Harry groaned quietly and gripped the doorway of the owlery, the place his feet had thoughtlessly carried him to, as Timmy chose the worst possible time to try and dig around in his head.
Fucking. Quit. he thought harshly. He pictured himself driving a sword through Timmy's noseless face and mentally pushed that back towards the site in his mind where the pain came from.
He did this sometimes, when he was exceptionally bored or when Timmy drove him to a cold anger. It was usually amusing to feel the curious feeling in his mind recoil with shock. He didn't feel relief this time though, when Timmy drew out quickly, instead he was just back to annoyed.
Annoyed at annoying Tonks.
"Sevvie, c'mere buddy," Harry called up quietly to where his little black fluff of an owl was cuddled up against Ron's fluffy grey one. Sevvie peered down at him from the rafters, only having opened one of his green eyes, and hooted softly before burrowing more firmly against Galvin.
"I've got a treat," Harry lied. He didn't want to summon Sevvie, mostly because he'd be pissed if someone summoned him from his bed, but he wasn't above tricking him either.
"Hooo," Sevvie called down at him, his fluffy head shaking his feathers indignantly.
Apparently Sevvie was about as good at spotting lies as Harry was. Which was hilarious, but also adding to Harry's overall feeling of annoyance.
"You're a traitor too," Harry said darkly. "Gone and traded me off for Galvin, didn't you? Next thing you know you'll be bringing Tonks her fuckin mail."
"I think your owl has a better sense of self-preservation than to do such a thing."
Harry turned his head and scowled at Snape over his shoulder.
He really was falling apart lately. First falling for Tonks' cheerful 'buddy buddy' act and now he didn't hear Snape sneaking up on him?
Pathetic.
Sure Snape was quiet and sneaky, but Harry had a lifetime of sharpening his senses.
Ten year old Harry could kick my arse, he thought bitterly.
"That was a fast breakfast," he sneered before turning his attention back up to Sevvie.
"Jesus, I forgot what an absolutely petty brat you are capable of being," Snape said.
Harry ignored him, seeing as he wasn't a 'petty brat', and clicked his tongue at Sevvie.
"C'mon buddy, I've got a letter I need you to send."
"Are you planning on ignoring me?" Snape asked, stepping up beside Harry and snapping his fingers up towards Sevvie.
Thankfully, Sevvie didn't go to Snape at his command either. Harry might have actually snapped if his owl betrayed him so blatantly.
"I'm not ignoring you," Harry protested despite the fact that he was actually planning on ignoring him. "You were busy with Tonks so I left you to it."
"I was not 'busy with Tonks'." Harry didn't have to look over to know Snape was scowling, he could hear it in his voice. "Nymphadora passed out drunk on my sofa last night. Perhaps I should have simply allowed her to apparate and risk splinching herself?"
"Sounds like something that would have been her problem," Harry said hatefully. He gave up trying to cajole Sevvie down nicely and sighed up at him. "You've made me do this," he warned him. "Bring me Sevvie."
Sevvie let out a loud hoot of indignation, his wings rustling uselessly as Harry's magic drug him down to where Harry could carefully grab him.
"Sorry buddy, but I do need you to deliver this letter." Harry stroked Sevvie softly, smoothing down his bristling feathers. "You don't want me to use someone else do you? Unlike some people, I'd never trade you for anything."
"How on earth have I traded you for Nymphadora by allowing her to sleep on my sofa?"
"Our sofa," Harry corrected him. He kept a careful hold on Sevvie as he turned now to glower at Snape. "Where I sleep."
"Where the hell did you want me to put her? My bed? The floor?" Snape asked hotly. "Merlin, Harry, you have a bed in your dorm."
"The floor would have been better than my couch," Harry said. He actually had no idea why Snape would have put her in his own bed, that was a weird thing to say. "You're just- just replacing me left and right today!"
"How?!" Snape yelled, startling the other sleeping owls and causing a chorus of annoyed hoots. "How the hell am I replacing you?"
"Trent!" Harry yelled right back in his face. "Trent told me he's moving in with Sirius thanks to you! He said 'it's kind of like we're brothers now' and now Tonks too? They have parents, don't they? I only have you! So why the hell are they all needing you? I needed you this morning and instead you're busy with Tonks! So- so piss off. Now I don't want you."
Harry's impulsive and heated rant left his chest heaving a little. He quickly tore his eyes away from Snape's passive face and focused on attaching his letter to Sevvie's leg. He fumbled with the string a little, since he could literally feel Snape staring at the back of his head while he struggled with it, but finally he got it attached and gave Sevvie a last fond pat before shooing him off.
He looked back at Snape, only very mildly curious about his continuing silence, and saw that Snape was giving him an odd look. Not a grimace, necessarily, but his face was pinched in a way. Harry raised his brows at the look on his face before shrugging and making his way to the door.
"Harry, wait."
If it was anyone else, Harry wouldn't have stopped. He would have left and probably wrote them off and been done with the whole situation. But... but this was Snape. So he stopped. He turned and crossed his arms across his chest as he waited for Snape to stop fucking blinking at him and actually say something.
"Well?" Harry prompted him when Snape seemed like he wasn't going to talk. "What?"
"I—," Snape never actually seemed so off kilter before and it was throwing Harry off as well. "Your forehead is swollen, may we return to my quarters and I can give you a balm? And we can speak in privacy?"
"It's not gonna be real private with Tonks there, is it?" Harry snarled.
"Nymphadora left," Snape said calmly. He walked around Harry and held his arm out towards the doorway, "May we?"
Harry squinted at Snape's face for a long moment before nodding curtly and sweeping ahead of him and leaving the owlery.
It was a silent trip back down to the dungeon. They stuck to the back staircases and only passed a couple students wandering around. Harry thought he'd cleared his face of anything aside from boredom, but if the younger Ravenclaw student jumping out of his and Snape's path was any indicator, he must not be doing that great.
Once they reached the entrance for Snape's quarters, Snape quietly spoke the password and gestured for Harry to go in. Harry looked around carefully when he entered, but Tonks was definitely gone and the quilt was back in the closet.
"I'm going to summon the balm, would you like to apply it yourself?" Snape took a seat at his little wooden dining table in the kitchen and waited for Harry to decide while he summoned the balm.
"I'll do it," Harry said stubbornly. He threw himself in the chair across from Snape and snatched the balm as it flew past him. He ignored Snape's mild look of amusement as he dipped his fingers in the white balm and spread it a bit sloppily across his forehead.
Harry rolled the tension out of his neck and shoulders as the coolness of the balm eased away a pain he'd hardly noticed in his forehead.
He couldn't wait until Timmy was dead and nobody was able to try and poke around in his head anymore.
"The Dark Lord I presume?" Snape asked, somehow following Harry's train of thought.
"Yup."
The two of them stared at each other blankly as the clock ticked on the wall until finally Snape's lips twitched and he shook his head at Harry.
"You are ridiculous," he said. "You are the only soul alive who I have no secrets from, my only heir, and you worry that I could possibly replace you with Nymphadora?"
"It's not ridiculous," Harry defended himself. His anger was fading away along with the pain in his head, but he was still annoyed by the whole thing. "She was literally using my quilt and was in my spot and you ordered breakfast for you two. That's our thing, we have breakfast together."
"And I am no longer allowed to have breakfast without you, hm?" Snape said. "I apologize that you felt slighted by Nymphadora's presence. Rest assured, she is not aiming to be my ward."
Harry felt annoyed by Snape's continuing tone of amusement, like there was a joke he was missing. Or, slightly less likely, Snape was making a joke at his expense.
"Yeah? What's her game then?"
"Harry." Snape sighed and shook his head. "Nymphadora and I are... friends," he said carefully. "We occasionally drink together, discuss our tedious jobs, and complain about bureaucrats. Nymphadora is not attempting to subvert you in some sinister plot to take your place."
"Says you," Harry grumbled sullenly. Snape opened his mouth to reply, so Harry cut him off, "Look, it's been a shit morning, yeah? Just- keep Tonks off my spot and tell Trent we aren't fuckin brothers and let's call it a day."
Harry wasn't being intentionally funny, which is why his face grew hot when Snape started actually laughing at him.
He probably couldn't win a fight against him, but... he casually moved his hand to his pocket, gripping his penknife in anger.
"Do not throw that knife at me," Snape warned him once he finished laughing at him. "Harry, Jesus Christ child, Nymphadora is interested in me."
Of course she was, Snape was an interesting bloke. Harry knew Tonks wanted to be a friend to Snape and she liked to pick on him. That didn't mean she needed to sleep in Harry's spot on the sofa though.
"And Bailey's mother is unfit to raise him, which is why I have placed him with your mutt for the summer. Have I truly ever given you reasonable cause to believe that you would be so easily replaceable?"
Harry was now the one incredibly confused. He tried to clear his mind, push away the ever present anger in his head, but the word 'unfit' kept swirling around and around.
"Bailey's mum is... unfit?" he repeated slowly. "What, like... like she hurts him?"
"That is between Bailey and myself," Snape said, no longer looking amused at all now. "I have taken care of it. Bailey will be residing at Moon Lodge, which I believe you originally purchased as a safe house for muggleborns, as an intern with Black. He is perfectly safe, perfectly taken care of now."
Harry ran his thumb over the marble handle of the knife in his pocket as he studied Snape's face carefully. "You took care of it?"
"I did."
Harry pulled his hand out of his pocket and placed it on the table. If Snape said he took care of it, he did.
"Chose the most bloody annoying way possible, didn't you?" Harry scowled with a roll of his eyes. "And now, thanks to you, I'm gonna have to probably apologize again to the kid."
"How dreadful," Snape said mockingly, "the great Harry Potter, forced to apologize."
Harry scoffed and looked closer at Snape. Snape was... relaxed? Something was different.
"Are you still drunk?" Harry finally asked slowly. "Or...?" He thought back on what Snape said about Tonks, about drinking and talking and being friends. "Or just in a good mood?"
Snape tapped his wand on the table, summoning up a tea tray and a plate of pastries from the kitchens.
"I was in a rather good mood, until my child reminded me of his utter jealousy for any other person in my life," he said. He poured Harry a cup of tea, adding the sugar and cream how he liked, and slid it to him. "I am rather frustrated now."
"You don't look frustrated," Harry pointed out. "And I don't care if you have friends, but I'd rather you didn't go around adopting a bunch of other kids, especially ones who have their own bloody parents."
Snape chuckled again and peered at Harry over his own cup of tea. "Nymphadora is not a child," he said slowly. "And she is not looking for a parent..."
Harry tapped the edge of his cup as he tried to puzzle out whatever Snape was trying to imply. He knew a lot of Slytherin's thought it was cunning to speak in riddles, but it drove Harry crazy trying to decipher it.
"Ooh." Harry was an idiot. "You guys are dating? That's brill Sev! Susan said Tonks had 'a thing' for you, but I thought she was just taking the mickey on me like when her, Lue, and Mione said they had crushes on you." Harry laughed and actually felt rather stupid, which was annoying, but Snape wasn't likely to tell anyone. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"We- we are not dating," Snape sputtered. "Merlin, Harry, must you always jump to wild conclusions?"
"I don't fuckin get it then." Harry threw his hands up in exasperation. "McGonagall's your friend you get drunk with and she doesn't take my sofa. Barty's your friend, and you don't look this happy after hanging out with him. So if Tonks isn't trying to take my place, then what the fuck is going on with you two?"
Snape rubbed the spot between his eyebrows hard enough to leave a bit of a red mark during Harry's small rant. After Harry was done though, he sighed and looked straight up at the ceiling.
"Nymphadora has asked me out on multiple occasions, I told her no, and thus- friends. I cannot say this more bluntly if I tried: Nymphadora may have slept on 'your' sofa, but she requested to sleep in my bed. Do you understand now you petty, ridiculous, foolish brat?"
Yeah.
Yeah that was pretty clear.
"Why?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Why what?" Snape sighed, moving his eyes from the ceiling to the plate of pastries where he made a big show of picking one.
... was he blushing?
"Why'd you tell her no?" Harry clarified. "D'you not want to go out with her?"
"You... You were furious she was using a quilt you have laid claim to and slept on a sofa you have used less than ten times, and you want to know why I refused her offer to date?" Snape asked.
Harry got the feeling they were taking turns between being annoyed and confused by one another, so as much as he didn't really want to have some awkward conversation, he also wanted this misunderstanding to go away.
He kept his eyes locked on Snape's as he spoke very slowly and clearly. "I don't care if you date Tonks, but I don't want you to be her parent or tell her our secrets. I'd definitely rather her sleep in your bed than on my sofa. And I'm glad you got Trent from his fuckin mum, but maybe you could have told me first so I didn't think the kid was taking everyone from me, yeah?"
Snape blinked slowly then abruptly burst in to the most uncharacteristic laugh Harry ever heard from him. Like, a full on laugh where he couldn't even breathe properly.
And since nothing Harry said was remotely funny, he went ahead and stood up and pulled his knife out to point it at Snape.
"Put- it- away," Snape gasped, waving his hand at Harry's knife.
"Sure," Harry agreed easily before narrowing his eyes. "If you can answer a few questions. Where did I first meet Snape at?"
"Kramer's Playground, in Kent," Snape answered immediately. "Is my laughter such a rarity that you believe me to be an imposter?"
"Yeah," Harry said bluntly. He tried to remember if that was the right place they first met or not, but decided since McGonagall had been with him, and Dumbledore sent them in the first place, it wasn't a great question anyway.
"What's your favorite restaurant?"
"Jiggery Deli," Snape said. "You and I have been there together on two occasions, the first time it appeared as if we were in the middle of a field and the second time we were in a rainforest."
Harry didn't actually think anyone else could possibly know that, but he asked one more just in case.
"My first year, you sent me a Christmas present, what was it?"
"A book of notes between your mother and I in an old potions textbook and a green scarf."
Harry nodded and pulled his knife back, but he stayed on his feet. "I'm going then."
"Or you could allow me to explain why everything you said was so amusing and then you can explain why you were looking for me this morning to start with," Snape said. "Sit, please."
"If you laugh at me again I'm leaving," Harry warned him coolly before he sat on the edge of his chair.
"I was laughing because as similar as we are, as close as we are, we do have a tendency to misunderstand one another to ridiculous degrees, do we not?"
Harry, who had just been thinking the same thing earlier, shrugged his shoulders and scooted back in his seat some. "Suppose so," he agreed.
"Harry, if you came in this morning and asked to rest on 'your sofa', I would have kicked Nymphadora off it," Snape said. His eyes were still glittering, but they were warm too, and his voice was steady and truthful sounding. "And had I known that it would bother you to allow Bailey to reside with Black and Lupin, I perhaps would have reconsidered placing him there. Though, as every single other professor in this blasted castle turned him away, it was either Black or myself."
"Oh." That was actually kind of fucked up that nobody else would take in a kid who needed a place to go. "Yeah, Sirius was probably a good choice then."
"He was adequate," Snape scoffed. He pushed the platter of pastries towards Harry and nodded at them. "Eat, and tell me what you needed me for this morning."
"I'll eat if you'll tell me why you won't go out with Tonks," Harry countered with quickly.
"I don't date," Snape said flatly. "Nymphadora is bored on her assignment and flirts with me to pass the time. Eventually she will find someone more suitable and we will apparently remain 'friends for life' as she states Hufflepuffs have a tendency to do."
"She said you aren't suitable?" Harry asked, offended on Snape's behalf. "That's crap."
Snape rolled his eyes and pointed at the plate until Harry plucked a sticky bun off it and began tearing off bites.
"She did not say that, though as she is a young, attractive, outgoing, and successful witch, it is an apt description of the scenario."
"So who said you're unsuitable?" Harry's voice was a little muffled, but Snape understood him anyway.
Apparently, they had no misunderstandings when one of them had a mouthful of food, but when they were angry they never understood each other.
Madness.
"I did," Snape scowled. "Now why were you looking for me?"
"No, wait," Harry was grinning a bit now. "Why wouldn't you be a good match for a 'young, attractive, outgoing, and successful witch'? You're young, I don't think you're attractive, no offense, but my friends do. And you're the youngest potions master in recent history, yeah? So that's pretty successful. And Fred and Sirius are outgoing and me and Lupin aren't, but Sirius is getting married this summer and I gave Fred a promise ring for his birthday. So why's that matter?"
"Hold on please, I am attempting to self-obliviate the knowledge that any of your teenaged friends have told you they find me attractive." Snape shuddered with a true grimace on his face that made Harry laugh.
"Don't change the subject," Harry told him. "Aren't you the one always going on about how I'm not an evil scrawny prat so it's fine to be with Fred?"
"I have never said, and will never said, that you are not a brat," Snape said, deliberately misunderstanding Harry. "Your situation and mine are entirely different."
"Who cares if you're a bit of a bastard?" Harry asked, now entirely warmed up to the topic as he was finally able to turn the tables on Snape. "Tonks is nice enough, and if you already hang out and drink and talk then what's the difference?"
"The difference is a commitment," Snape said. "I am... not an excellent choice for a witch to commit herself to. And I happen to be both a bastard and an incredibly busy person, thus leaving me with no time to 'date'."
Harry probably would have dropped it, just changed the topic to the whole reason he needed Snape this morning to start with. But this was actually more fun.
"But you've got time to sit in here and drink together," Harry pointed out. "C'mon, what's one date gonna hurt? When's the last time you had a date? They're fun, usually."
Charlie Weasley once crashed one of Harry and Fred's dates, which had been annoying at the time, but it still wound up alright.
"Fifth year, after my fall-out with your mother I went out with a girl from Ravenclaw, and it was a disaster," Snape said drily. "I have no desire to repeat the process."
"Oooh," Harry adopted Hermione's know-it-all nod of understanding while he held back a smirk. "I get it now. This is about my mum?"
"Harry, for the love of God, what did you want from me this morning?"
Harry checked the time and saw it was a little after nine now, which he figured wasn't too early for a pain relieving potion for Snape. He summoned one and levitated it over to him with a sheepish smile.
"If you don't wanna date Tonks, it's fine," he told him. "But I don't think my mum would care, she's dead, isn't she? And- well... I just don't think she'd still be mad at you for being a fuckin death eater when you help me out so much, yeah?"
Snape didn't answer, he just took the potion with a long-suffering type of look that told Harry he was probably pushing his limits on teasing Snape.
... for now.
He'd definitely bring this up again sometime though. He'd never actually seen Snape blush so much in one day. And, now that he thought about it, he's pretty sure the last time he saw Snape blush they'd been talking about Tonks then too.
This was payback for the traumatic sex talk Snape had with Harry and Theo the summer after third year.
Harry still couldn't think of the word 'condom' without wanting to cringe.
"Anyway, I came because I needed to ask you if I should take a good offer from a shitty team or not," Harry told him, giving up the game for now. "But then I was pissed at you and went ahead and turned it down."
"What?" Snape sat up and looked sharply at Harry now. "Why would you do such a thing? What was the offer?"
"First string," Harry said. He grabbed the letter he got this morning from his trouser pocket and slid it across the table to Snape. "But it's the Cannons, and I'm pretty sure Ron is their only fan."
Snape read the letter, his eyes flickering across the parchment a few times before he gave it back to Harry.
"They were offering you a three year contract as their teams first string seeker, does it matter how many fans they have? They would have many more once they announced you joined their team."
"That's just it though, did they offer me a spot because I'm the best or because they wanna use my name to make their team more popular?"
"Does it matter?" Snape asked again. "Either way, you would have what you wanted."
"Matters to me," Harry shrugged. "If I'm not the best, then what's the point?"
"Apparently a hundred thousand galleons a year," Snape smirked. "Your last match of the year is approaching, how dreadfully will you sulk this summer if you are not given another offer?"
"Pretty fuckin badly," Harry said with a bright smile. "Fingers crossed it doesn't come to that, yeah?"
"Fingers crossed then," Snape said solemnly. "Are you finished picking at your food? You could go relax on your incredibly beloved sofa and tell me more about your outrageous decision to give Frederick a promise ring."
"Can't," Harry said with a frown. "Can we- can we do that tomorrow? We could have breakfast before classes?"
"Of course," Snape agreed. "Do you already have plans today?"
"I didn't," Harry sighed and rolled his shoulders irritably. "But now I'm gonna go see if Trent wants to fly or work on wandless magic or something. I didn't know his mum was worthless when he came running at me this morning, did I? So I- I yelled at him a bit. Told him Theo was my only brother."
He did swear to himself that this was the last time he was apologizing to the kid though. Apparently, since he was going to be staying with Sirius this summer, they were going to be around each other quite a bit and Harry would rather not deal with Trent looking like some sad puppy every time they saw one another.
Someone, at some point, was going to have to explain to Trent that Harry just isn't a soft and patient person like Snape is and he wasn't going to apologize all the time for being himself.
Unless Trent figured that out on his own already, and Harry was pretty sure at this point he probably had. Which would be brill, because then he wouldn't even have to apologize.
"I am quite certain that Mister Bailey will forgive you for the slight," Snape told him. "Although I would appreciate you not mentioning what I confided in you about his mother, as that is his incredibly private business."
"Alright, brill then. I'll be here tomorrow morning," Harry said. He got up and headed to the door, feeling much lighter now than he had a few hours ago when he first arrived.
"Oh, hey Sev?"
"Yes?"
Harry paused next to the sofa and looked at it before looking back at Snape.
"Tell Tonks she can sleep in your bed all she wants for all I care, but if she's in my spot tomorrow morning then we're going to fight about it."
Harry was pretty sure Snape called him something rude as he walked out the door, but since he knew he didn't mean it, he just ignored him and laughed on his way to go find Trent.