July 22
"I'm not going," Harry scowled as he threw his duffle bag back in his wardrobe and slammed the door shut. "I've got too much to do here."
"You mean you don't know what to pack," Theo said placatingly. "Here, I can help."
"I don't want to go," Harry said for the fiftieth time. "Snape is going to be a git if he has to eat breakfast by himself and the others—"
"Will be fine without you for a few days," Theo said calmly as he dug Harry's bag back out of the wardrobe. "C'mon Harry, it's a vacation. You need one. And you already told Trent and Black that you'd go."
"But Neville and Luna—"
"Have their own plans," Theo said firmly. "Their lives don't just revolve around you, Harry. You've been working yourself to death. It's time for some sunshine and fun-shine or whatever mad thing Black said."
Harry raised his brow at Theo's oddly shaped bag on his bed. He didn't like to bet, but if he did, he'd put quite a bit of gold on it being filled with books.
"I will be reading between 'fun-shine' events," Theo said solemnly with only the tiniest twitch of his lips to betray him. "If you won't go for yourself, go for me. You're driving me mad Harry and I need a break."
"Weird thing to say to the bloke who shares a bedroom with you," Harry said with a defeated sigh. "What about—"
"The death eaters will still fucking be here hiding from you when you get back you absolute mad man. We are going, Harry Potter, that is that."
Harry raised his brows at Theo's sudden outburst.
Theo clearly was the one who needed a vacation
"I was going to ask about Stevie, you prick."
Theo threw down the pair of Harry's trousers he was folding and fearlessly got right in Harry's face. "Susan and Draco are caring for Stevie. Ron and Neville are covering for Fred at the shop. Luna is helping Snape brew and working on potions. Narcissa, Charlie, and Tonks are going to be here watching over everyone, along with Severus fucking Snape, so they aren't even at risk for a split-second. You are going on this trip. Fred is going on this trip. I am going to pack this bag then I am going to spend ten days on the beach with my girlfriend, got it?"
Harry pushed Theo's shoulder, getting him out of his face, and scowled. "If anyone gets hurt while we're gone, I'm blaming you."
"And if I don't get to see Hermione in a bikini because you're being a prat, I'm blaming you," Theo said snidely. He stalked back over to the wardrobe and pulled out three of Harry's short sleeve shirts. "Now, which do you prefer?"
Harry raised a silent brow, channeling Snape's look of 'I will give you one second to come up with the correct answer', until Theo sighed and put all three of them in Harry's bag.
"You can't wear long sleeve shirts on the beach," he said firmly. "It's the States, Harry. Everyone is crazy there. Nobody's going to notice a few little scars."
"Brill," Harry said lightly. "So you'll be going shirtless to the beach then?"
And no, Theo would not be going shirtless to the beach. Instead they worked on glamour charms until they were both satisfied enough with their looks to pack short sleeve shirts.
Harry threw a couple long sleeve shirts and his most recent Weasley jumper in his bag too though, just in case.
Harry thought maybe Luna or Susan would talk him out of going, convince him to stay home with them, but they were suspiciously eager for him to leave.
"We have plans," Susan said primly as they helped Luna and Neville plant some flowers in the backyard. "Plans that you would just get in the way of."
"Gee, thanks Sue," Harry drawled, hiding his actual annoyance behind pretend annoyance. "I'll miss you too."
"I really will miss you," Luna said earnestly as she looked up at him. "But Susan's right, we do have plans that you aren't invited to and you should go have fun."
Harry gave Neville a hopeful sort of look, but Neville just shook his head.
"Harry, mate, if anyone needs a bloody vacation, it's you... And Snape. Take Snape too why don't ya?"
"Snape's vacation is Harry leaving," Susan said with a sly smile that Harry frowned at.
Harry tossed and turned that night, taking the night off from searching for Timmy's followers in favor of sleeping before they had to catch an early portkey. Except he wasn't sleeping. It felt like his brain was filled with static. And, since Timmy hadn't bothered him mentally a single time since the battle, Harry had to assume this static was of his own creation.
After accidentally kicking Fred and causing him to stir with mumbles and complaints, Harry gave sleep up as a bad job and silently slipped from his bed. He hesitated in the hall, unsure of what would ease the weight of dread in his stomach, before resolutely turning towards the door with the neat little plaque in the middle of it labeled:
Severus Snape
The plaques had been Neville's idea. After he showed up at the meeting on the fifth with a suitcase and an arm full of plants, he kept forgetting which of the bedrooms was the one he was supposed to use until everyone agreed to labels for their doors.
Harry lifted his hand to knock on the door. Then he grimaced at his own dramatics and turned away to go back to his room.
Then he took five steps from the door and turned right back around and threw it open before he could change his mind.
Snape sat up as soon as the door banged against the wall, his hair tangled and his wand held out defensively, pointed right at Harry.
"Harry." Snape groaned and dropped his head back on his pillow while Harry awkwardly shuffled in the doorway. "Is it already time for breakfast or to once more convince you that the world will not implode if you go on a trip with your godfather?"
"I can't go." Harry stepped further in the room and shut the door behind him. He pulled on his magic and sent a small ball of light to Snape's bedside table so he wasn't standing in the dark. "I don't even know where we're gonna be sleeping, do I? It's probably going to all be different. Or someone here might need me. And I don't know if the foods going to be different, or if death eaters are going to kill you all while I'm gone, or—"
"So the latter," Snape interrupted him. He sat up and scooted to the left-side of the bed, leaving the entire right side open for Harry to flop on.
Which Harry did.
"No one is going to die while you are gone," Snape said patiently. "You are staying in a hotel on the beach, where it will doubtlessly be outrageously sunny and hot. I am certain that you can eat eggs and coffee in the States just as you do here. In fact, your beloved pizza is a relatively popular dish in the States. Their tea is served cold though, which is disgusting."
"And you definitely can't go?" Harry asked again, ignoring Snape's half-hearted jokes about cold tea.
"I can hardly imagine a more horrifying scenario," Snape said. "I would kill Black by the end of the first day and the States still utilize the death penalty."
Harry tried to laugh a little, since Snape was obviously trying to get him to, but it came out strained and mirthless. "I'm going to hate it," he whispered, his face tilted up to the white ceiling to avoid having to look at Snape as he admitted it. "It's going to be terrible, I just know it."
"Harry." Snape waited until Harry peeked over at him before continuing. "I believe it would be a good experience for you to travel and take a vacation with your friends. However, if you get there and it truly is terrible, you can come home. Send me a message and I will create an excuse for you and authorize an early return portkey, is that acceptable?"
"Swear?"
"I swear."
Harry nodded and scooted down on the bed until his head was on the pillow. "Acceptable," he drawled. He pointed at the ball of light and lowered his finger slowly, dimming the orb to a less bright level of light. "Do Americans really drink cold tea?"
Snape snorted and readjusted himself until he was able to once more bury his face in his pillow. "They do, coffee as well."
"Ugh."
"Quite so."
A few hours later, after a tense breakfast with Snape, where he was once more talked in to this 'vacation', and a few teary goodbyes with his friends (Draco was so dramatic), Harry was standing nervously in Sirius and Lupin's kitchen with Fred, Theo, Hermione, and Trent while the seven of them had their hand on a chipped kitchen plate.
Harry had his duffel bag over his shoulder, his left hand clenched with Fred's tightly, and a stomach full of nerves.
"Four seconds" Sirius told them, practically vibrating with excitement as he watched the clock. "Ready guys?"
Harry opened his mouth to say no, but the sudden jerk behind his navel as he was transported away took his last chance to do so.
***
Harry hated vacations.
Mostly.
He definitely hated the dry heat that made his shirt cling to his torso and his hair stick to his head.
The rest hadn't been too terrible...
Yet.
After they arrived at the 'United States Portkey Authorization Port of Florida' and had their wands identified (which had taken a bit of time since Harry forgot his wand at home), they loaded up in an automobile that Sirius swore he knew how to drive.
Which Harry was pretty sure he didn't.
Harry had ridden in cars before, as had Hermione and Trent, and they were not supposed to go as fast as Sirius drove the magically stretched one, nor were they supposed to tilt on to two wheels when he took turns too fast.
"Brill," Harry laughed when they finally arrived at the hotel and Theo and Lupin looked green and clammy. "Sirius, can you teach me how to drive?"
"Yes!" Sirius cheered as he ruffled Harry's already sweaty hair. "Your mum taught me to drive, you know, so it seems fair that I teach you. Circle of life and all."
"Lily did not teach you to ignore the speed limit." Lupin rolled his eyes as he grabbed bags out of the trunk and tossed them to their owners. "Harry, you would have liked to see James trying to drive. Poor bastard couldn't figure out the steering wheel."
Sirius barked out a laugh as he intercepted Trent's bag and slung it on his own shoulder. "Poor pureblood Jamie, so confused by muggle machines."
"Aren't you a pureblood?" Hermione asked Sirius.
"I don't think so," Sirius said very seriously. "It's all in your mind you know, power of your own thoughts and all."
Harry took the opportunity of everyone sorting out their bags to look over the 'hotel' they were staying at. It was nice, on the outside, he could easily admit that. It was a tall building, probably ten or so stories high, and the side facing the parking lot they were in was made of white brick. When Harry stretched his neck around a bit, trying to see through the line of palm trees that divided the property from the beach, he could see peeks of the deep blue ocean behind it.
"I've never been on a family vacation before," Trent said quietly as he stood next to Harry and took in the same sights he was. "I almost didn't come. I was going to stay home with the others, but Remus said it would be really fun."
Harry glanced down at Trent and realized that he did actually look a little nervous as he chewed his bottom lip and glanced around warily. Harry slowly reached over and messed up Trent's hair and gave him a forced smile. "Well if Remus said it'll be fun, I'm sure it will. And if not, then we'll leave, fuck it."
Trent looked up at Harry, a smile slowly spreading across his face, and nodded slowly. "Fuck it," he agreed.
The first real problem with 'vacation' came when they got checked in and Sirius handed out room keys.
"Rem and I will be in 1001, Trent and Fred in 1002, Harry and Theo in 1003, and Hermione in 1004."
Harry and Theo both stared balefully at Sirius as he handed them their keys with his bright eyes and eager expression until the smile slowly slipped away.
"Absolutely not," Sirius said firmly. "You guys aren't going to be shacking up on vacation. I was put in charge, it'll get me in trouble somehow, I'm sure."
Harry blinked very slowly at Sirius as he held his hand out to his friends, all of whom promptly handed over their room keys.
"Trent, 1002. Theo, you and Mione in 1003. Fred and I will take 1004," Harry said as he reshuffled the cards and handed them back out. "Sirius, be real here," he added when Sirius turned to Lupin for support. "Why would we go on vacation just to not sleep in the same setup we've always had?"
"Let it go, love," Lupin murmured to Sirius. "Severus allows them to do it."
"Snape does not have enough rules," Sirius said with a dramatic arm gesture of exasperation. "'Same setup you've always had', pft."
"Sapphire has to sleep in Sky's room when she comes over," Trent said helpfully.
Helpfully for Sirius, that is.
"Not that we're dating," Trent added hastily with a red stain to his cheeks. "Just- just that we can't share a room when she comes."
"That's because Sirius doesn't know how to live," Fred said teasingly. "He moved in with his boyfriend when he was eleven."
"Did you really?" Trent said accusingly as he glared up at Sirius. "You didn't tell me that!"
Fred and Hermione laughed as they led their group to the lifts to take them up to their rooms to unpack before 'hitting the beach'.
And the lifts were officially 'reasons Harry hated vacation' reason number two.
"We did not move in together at eleven," Lupin said with a grin after they crammed in the lift. "Fred's joking, Trent."
Harry blocked out their conversation as the lifts slowly rose and he concentrated on not feeling suffocated. It was just- were all lifts so small? Why didn't they just split up and take two of them? Could he bust the doors open if he stopped breathing?
He had too many plans to die in a bloody lift.
The lift slowed, even though the little lights inside it said they were only on the eighth floor and Harry felt a flare of panic rise up inside him.
"Why are we stopping?" he asked no one in particular. "More people aren't going to fit. Why's it stopping?!"
"Sorry, we're full," Hermione said politely as the doors did open and a young couple with two little kids stood there, hoping to get on.
"Are you claustrophobic?" Trent asked, squinting up at Harry curiously.
"Shut up, Trent."
Harry let Fred swipe the card that gave them access to room 1004 and squared his shoulders as he resolutely stepped inside.
"Oh." Harry let out a relieved breath as he looked slowly around the room. The walls were all a clean white color, which matched the bedspreads on the two beds and the filmy curtains fluttering in front of an exit to an attached balcony. Harry'd expected something... darker, dirtier. More like the motels in downtown London. "This isn't too bad."
Fred was inspecting the television with a curious eye and looked up to smile happily at Harry. "Ten days of sun and fun," he said. "This is paradise, darlin."
Harry didn't think it was paradise, but as long as he took the stairs instead of the confining lifts, it may wind up being a decent 'vacation'.
The first day Sirius insisted on taking everyone to the beach outside their hotel and taking a million photos of them as they all tentatively explored the beach.
"We should have brought gillyweed," Harry murmured to Fred and Trent as they stood ankle deep in the water. "Then we could find a shark or something."
"Why would we want to find a shark?" Trent asked incredulously. "I'm starting to think Professor Snape is right, you really don't have any self-preservation instincts."
Harry and Fred shared a quick look, seeming to agree on a plan with just that look, before Fred snatched Trent and threw him over his shoulder.
"Neither do you," Fred laughed as he carried Trent further in the waves over the sound of his protests. "Can you even swim?"
"NO!" Trent yelled. He gave Harry a pleading look over Fred's shoulder as Harry laughed and followed them further in the water. "ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HIM KILL ME?"
"Yep."
He wouldn't.
But Fred wasn't going to kill Trent either.
"You're the worst godbrother ever," Trent hissed after Fred dunked him in the water. His hair was sopping wet and made him look a bit like a green eyed kitten stuck in the rain, not very threatening at all in Harry's opinion. "I'm trading you for Theo."
Harry looked over his shoulder where Theo and Hermione were laying on towels in the sun, hand in hand, talking and laughing. Well, Hermione was talking, Harry could see her mouth moving from where he stood; Theo was gaping at her like he'd never seen a girl in a bikini before. Which, admittedly, Harry hadn't either. And, objectively, Harry was sure that Hermione was attractive in her blue two piece that showed off her tanned skin and her curves, but Harry wasn't much interested in gaping at her like Theo was.
He turned back to Trent and smiled sweetly for an instant before smirking. "Just for that..."
Harry could hear Sirius laughing from the shore with Lupin as Harry got in a vicious splashing war with Trent and Fred. Fred, traitor that he was, at some point switched sides to help Trent so Harry carefully used a small blast of magic to knock them down where they sputtered from the waves crashing in to them.
"Cheater!" Fred cried dramatically as they headed back to the shore. He had his arm over Harry's shoulder and was smiling despite his baseless (and true) accusation. "Trent, this is a war now, you understand? Before we leave on the first, we have to kill Harry Potter."
Trent snorted, "No. I like living, thank you."
"Of course you do," Theo snickered as the three of them threw themselves on the towels next to him and Hermione. "Free candy for life? What's not to like about that?"
"It's a shame nobody wanted to share a room with me," Trent grinned as he stretched out and let the sun shine on his bare torso. "I brought loads of it with me."
It was another quick look, further proof that Harry might be a great occlumens, but Fred didn't have to be a legilimens to read his mind.
"Party in Trent's room tonight then," Fred said cheerfully as he laid back on his towel as well.
Harry tried very hard not to stare too much, but Fred shirtless and glistening from the water and the sun was rather distracting. He was probably failing anyway though, if Fred's little pleased grin was any indicator.
Harry did glare heatedly at a pair of girls who walked by and giggled while they cast appreciative looks at Fred and Theo both.
"Put your shirts on," Harry sighed after the girls were out of earshot. "Jesus fucking Christ."
"Jesus fucking Christ," Trent echoed him solemnly.
Harry decided he liked having a younger godbrother after all.
The next few days were a whirlwind of activities as Sirius tried to cram 'fifteen years worth of family vacations' in to ten days.
They traveled to fairs, where Harry slyly used a spell Amelia once taught him to make sure the muggles crowding everyone couldn't touch him. He taught Trent how to play the games that Susan taught him to play the summer after his first year. He begrudgingly posed for group photos for Sirius and took some of his own when Theo smushed ice cream on Hermione's nose.
He also convinced everyone to ride a roller coaster and shared a look of joy with Trent and Sirius that the others weren't really experiencing.
One day, Sirius did the maddest thing he'd ever done in his entire life, and rented a fleet of 'jetskis'.
"I don't know about this..." Hermione said quietly as Sirius drug them to the dock where seven yellow water vehicles floated innocently. "I- I don't know how to drive one."
"Neither do we," Lupin said reassuringly. "They'll show us how, and everyone will have on life-jackets. It's supposed to be fun, but if you don't want to then you certainly don't have to. I don't mind going down to the beach with you instead."
"Chicken," Harry murmured to Hermione quietly with a small grin. "Guess all that talk about the Sorting Hat almost putting you in Gryffindor was bullshit, wasn't it?"
Theo shook his head at Harry as Hermione's chin jutted out stubbornly and she tied her hair back in to a ponytail. "Don't antagonize my girlfriend in to a suicide mission," he said.
"Quiet Theo," Hermione said with a little snap to her tone. "Come on then Potter, let's race."
And bloody hell, if Harry thought flying was the most freedom he'd ever felt, it was only because he'd never gotten to do this before.
He laughed and shouted and whooped as he and Hermione recklessly raced between giant ships and speed boats. Theo and Fred got caught up in their own convoluted 'obstacle course' of which Harry's blur of a jetski eventually became an obstacle to dodge.
At some point, Harry twisted the handle as far as it could go when a wave came up to him and, son of a bitch, he flew up in the air and somehow still landed without flipping the jetski over.
"Did you see that?!" he yelled to Lupin, who was closest to him at the time.
"I saw," Lupin said with a soft smile.
Harry shrugged at Lupin's lack of jubilation and turned until he found Sirius driving patiently alongside Trent, trying to coax him in to going faster.
"Hey, Trent!" Harry yelled and caught the boys attention. "I'll let you drink tonight if you can beat me in a race!"
Trent's face lit up even as Lupin called out half-hearted arguments against it.
Not that Trent beat Harry in a race anyway, not until Harry finally took a bit of pity on him and let him win the last one.
It was worth losing the last race when Hermione and Theo joined Harry and Fred in Trent's room and they steadily got more and more pissed until one of them (Harry thought it was Hermione, Trent swore it was Harry) decided to sneak out of the hotel and go for a night swim.
Harry had a blurry recollection of getting roped in to playing some game on the beach with a group of muggle teens that were also drinking and listening to music. Harry and Theo were showing off for their partners a bit, as they stumbled and jumped around and tried to hit the ball, but Harry ultimately landed face first in the sand more times than he hit the ball over the net.
"I miss Barty," he admitted as he and Theo were sharing a bottle between them while Hermione chatted up the muggle teenagers and Fred and Trent collected seashells.
"To Barty!" Theo lifted the bottle and took a deep swig before passing it to Harry.
"To Barty," Harry murmured as he drank more and moped less.
Hermione swears that Harry broke his nose at some point, playing the game with the muggle teens, but Harry didn't actually remember that so he's fairly confident she's lying. What he did remember were the laughs and smiles and jokes flowing freely between his friends that left Harry feeling weightless.
Harry crowded against Fred in their bed that night, pushing his face as far in to his neck as he could, and kissed him right below his ear. "Vacation is brill," he breathed on his skin. "Innit?"
"Yeah." Fred's arms tightened around Harry and he buried his face in Harry's sand-filled and saltwater soaked hair. "Bloody brill."
The next morning, when the five teenagers were all sporting hangovers and sunburns, Sirius and Lupin dropped them off at a shopping center with cash and strict instructions to 'send a message if anything happened before the agreed time to meet up for dinner' and 'for the love of god don't get arrested Harry'.
Which was outrageously unfair.
And also had Harry feeling a bit like pushing his luck.
"Right then, let's split up," Harry said cheerfully as the five of them stood inside the entrance and looked around at the bright lights and music and people everywhere. "Fred, wanna go not get arrested with me?"
"Course." Fred slung his arm over Harry's shoulders and kissed the side of his head with a casual sort of ease. "Are we bringing your protégé with us or sending him with the bookworms?"
Harry eyed Trent's bleary eyes speculatively for a moment for jerking his chin towards where Theo and Hermione were inching towards signs for a bookstore. "Sorry Trent."
"Oh thank god," Trent sighed as he took a few quick steps towards Theo.
Harry glanced up at Fred, his brows furrowed at Trent's odd comment, but Fred shrugged, just as mystified as Harry was.
Harry and Fred had a brilliant time in the mall as they shopped for the most outrageous gifts they could find for their friends and Fred's family.
"How's this?" Fred laughed and held up a hot pink and yellow floral shirt against himself. "Just Snape's style, eh?"
Harry pictured Snape wearing the shirt and laughed until tears pooled in his eyes and they bought it.
Harry would get Snape to wear that shirt at least once if it killed him.
They did spend a bit of time in a little hole in the wall shop filled with the most brilliant weapons Harry had ever seen.
"Look at those," Harry practically moaned as he saw a whole wall of knives with sharp edges and glimmering handles. "Help me pick one out."
"What do you need more knives for?" Fred asked curiously as he plucked the ones off the wall that Harry was too short to reach for his inspection. "You're out of pockets to carry them darlin."
"Don't be daft," Harry murmured as he carefully tested the sharpness of the pearl handled one Fred handed him. "I'm getting one for Trent's birthday."
"Obviously," Fred laughed. "My mistake."
"If he's going to get so easily disarmed in fights, then I'm going to make him the fuckin deadliest bloke with a knife ever," Harry said with determination. "Also I'm getting Luna one," he added as he saw a knife with flowers all down the handle. "To cheer her up."
"Obviously," Fred said again.
The two of them also snuck around the various stores and gathering spots and tried to lay enough pranks out to mess with the crowds of muggles, but not so many that they would actually be arrested.
The wizards at the Portkey Authorization Port seemed to know Harry's name, but Harry couldn't be positive that he could fame his way out of trouble with American aurors.
Harry completely forgot about this important factor when a heavyset muggle with a thick mustache and squinty eyes shouldered him roughly at one point and muttered, "Fags," as he gave Harry and Fred looks of disgust.
Harry cringed away from him, just a bit closer to Fred's side, as he realized he bore an uncanny resemblance to Vernon Dursley.
"What the fuck?" Harry hissed, bewildered, as the muggle stalked away. "We aren't even smoking!"
Fred looked as angry as Harry had ever seen him and explained through gritted teeth. "It's an insult, love. Like... like 'homo' or 'poofter'."
Harry bristled indignantly and tracked the muggle as he made his way towards the food court. "Brill, c'mon." He grinned cheekily up at Fred and nodded towards the empty table next to the one the muggle sat himself at. "Fancy something to eat?"
Fred laughed, his anger melting away immediately. "I love you," he told Harry.
"And I love you," Harry said loudly with a coy wink as he led Fred to the table.
And then Harry and Fred spent twenty minutes channeling the sappiest affects they could as they positively laid on one another and fed each other crisps.
Hermione, Theo, and Trent walked by at some point and shared looks of bewilderment.
"Don't make eye contact or they'll drag us in to whatever mad thing they're doing," Theo muttered as he ducked his head.
Not that Harry or Fred noticed anyway, as caught up as they were in irritating the muggle until he jumped to his feet and made a loud noise of disgust that drew quite a few sets of eyes to them.
"Coming, sweetheart?" Harry asked Fred brightly as he kept a subtle watch on the muggle heading towards the exit.
"With you? Anywhere," Fred said with a sappy kiss to Harry's hand that brought a faint blush to Harry's cheeks.
Fred was much better at channeling his inner sap than Harry was.
And, after depositing the muggle in a dumpster behind the shopping center and adding a trash bin on top of it for good measure, Harry also admitted that Fred was much better at revenge without using magic as well.
"Wouldn't do to get arrested the day before your birthday," Fred said with a twinkle in his eyes as the muggle yelled obscenities at them through the metal dumpster. "C'mon, someone will find him when they bring trash out at closing tonight."
When Sirius and Lupin arrived at six to take them to dinner, talk turned to Harry's sixteenth birthday the next day.
"What would you like to do tomorrow, Harry?" Lupin asked as everyone grabbed slices of pizza. "It's your birthday, we'll do whatever you want."
"Er..." Harry stalled as everyone turned to look at him. "I don't care. Its our last day here, isn't it? So, just, whatever you guys wanna do is fine."
"Say 'I'm having dinner with Fred tomorrow night'," Fred whispered directly in Harry's ear.
Harry bit his lip to hold back a laugh and repeated it dutifully, "I'm having dinner with Fred tomorrow night."
Sirius looked exasperated as his grey eyes flicked between Harry and Fred. "Just the two of you?"
"Yep."
"Fine," he sighed. He pointed a fork at Fred though, "No funny business."
"Me? Funny business? You've got the wrong bloke," Fred grinned.
Harry, for the life of him, couldn't imagine what 'funny business' Sirius thought Fred would pull. They already slept in the same bed every night and shared a wardrobe back at Harry's house. He rolled his eyes at Sirius before quirking a brow at Theo's whisper to Hermione and her quiet giggles as she glanced at Fred.
What the fuck?
At least Trent looked as confused as Harry did. Though, since Trent spent a lot of time looking confused, it wasn't the greatest consolation prize.
"Now say, 'Fred Weasley is the most handsome bloke in the universe,'" Fred whispered again, causing Harry to forget his confusion as he laughed and smacked his arm.
"Fred Weasley is a prat," he said instead.
"Your prat," Fred winked.
Sirius looked pretty put out by their banter, but since he'd been glued to Lupin's side the whole trip practically oozing 'love', Harry figured he'd get over it.
Or not.
It wasn't really Harry's problem.
***
The morning of Harry's birthday started out terribly.
He was literally pecked from his sleep by no less than half a dozen owls all bearing envelopes and Sevvie who was bearing a small cardboard box.
"Get em off," Fred groaned as he batted away the owls circling their bed. "Merlin, darlin did you have to have so many friends?"
"Sorry," Harry said quietly, trying to shoo the owls away from their bed. "Jesus, calm down you lot."
"It's fine." Fred sat up and yawned before grinning at Harry. "Happy birthday darlin."
"Thanks." Harry swung his legs out of their surprisingly comfortable bed and started collecting letters from owls. He eyed the box Sevvie brought him with a bit of trepidation when it was Susan's handwriting on the flap instructing him to 'open in private' with private underlined three times.
"What's in there?" Fred asked curiously as he glanced over the letters Harry got. "Oi! This ones for me! And- blimey, this is yours. I think it's our results."
"Results?" Harry murmured distractedly as he peeked inside Susan's box and blanched at the content.
What in the fuck?
He snapped the flap shut as Fred turned to him with an envelope held out.
"Your OWLS?" he said, politely ignoring the way Harry hastily pushed away the disgusting box.
"Oh. Oh!" Harry snatched the letter from Fred and the two of them slowly opened their results at the same time.
Harry James Potter Ordinary Wizarding Level Results: Astronomy: E
Care of Magical Creatures: P
Charms: O
Defense Against Dark Arts: O
Divination: E
Herbology: E
History of Magic: P
Potions: O
Transfiguration: O
Harry read over his results once... twice... three times before he smiled victoriously.
"Four O's, three E's, and two P's," he said proudly. He didn't give a damn about any of the results, really, especially not since he was dropping most of his classes come September, but it was nice to see decent grades. Fred gave him a pleased grin and pocketed his own results. "What'd you get then?"
"Six E's," Fred told him with a small grin. "Don't tell my mum, alright?"
Harry laughed in agreement when there was a sudden pounding on their door and he could hear Hermione going spare in the hallway.
"Harry!! Harry!! Our results!! Let us in!"
By the time Harry made it to the door, Hermione's eager knocking and shouts had woken up Trent, who peeked his head out at the commotion.
"Our exam results!" Hermione yelled, headless of the muggle hallway they were standing in. She waved an unopened envelope in Harry's face, ignoring his scowl as he backed away. "Did you get yours?"
"Yep."
"And?!" Hermione all but screeched.
"All O's," Harry lied boldly. Unlike Fred, Harry didn't want to be underestimated and if Hermione thought Harry's lax approach to OWLS had worked, maybe she wouldn't be so bloody annoying during NEWTS next year. Hermione gave him a disbelieving look, but Harry wasn't budging on his story. "What'd you get Theo?" he asked as he watched Theo's eyes flick over his letter.
"Eight O's, two E's," Theo breathed, his eyes transfixed on his results. "The E in history is Harry's fault, of course."
"What?" Harry snatched Theo's results as Hermione fearfully opened hers. "How is an E in history meant to be my fault?" he demanded.
Theo also had an E in defense, which Harry was internally gloating about since he actually did have an O in that class.
"Because you ran out in the middle of the exam and had us all worried sick," Theo said calmly, the grin flitting about his lips proof of his relief at his results. "Don't worry, I'll only hold it against you forever."
"Hermione, what did you get?" Sirius and Lupin had joined the group in the middle of the hallway. Sirius was shirtless, which made Harry sidestep closer to Theo and further from Sirius while Hermione's cheeks turned pink when she noticed the tattoos on his chest.
Only Harry heard Theo's tiny sigh.
"I did... I did good," Hermione said haltingly. "Fine, I guess."
Trent darted forward and snatched her letter before backing away and laughing as he read it. "Eight bloody outstandings, and two exceeds expectations," he read aloud. "One in history and one in defense."
"Congrats you guys!" Sirius beamed at the three sixth years before turning to Fred. "And you?"
"All trolls," Fred lied cheerfully. "Pity."
"Pity," Harry said with a smirk.
"Congratulations and happy birthday!" Trent yelled at Harry as he danced away from Hermione, taunting her with her letter. "Can we celebrate now?"
And they did.
Once everyone was dressed and Harry had stacked his other letters carefully to the side to read later, along with Susan's mystery box that he put in his duffle bag and tried to forget even existed (what the fuck was Susan doing while he was gone?!), they all piled in Sirius' borrowed car and drove to breakfast.
"Here's to my favorite godson making it to sixteen without being arrested even once!" Sirius said with a tiny sniffle as he raised his glass of juice to Harry at breakfast. "I love you Pup."
Harry bore everyone's birthday wishes and gifts with good grace and cheer. Hermione and Theo got Harry an enchanted safe made of heavy thick metal and charmed to expand to fit all of his weapons and only allow him entry. Trent, unsurprisingly, got Harry a box of chocolates from Honeydukes. What was surprising was that they were all Harry's favorites.
"We have shared a common room for two years now," Trent said with only a little blush after Harry thanked him and asked how he knew what kind of sweets he liked.
Though, Lupin's gift of heavy black earmuffs and safety goggles were a bit of a mystery until Sirius told him he had a 'wicked gift to go with it' for him back at the hotel.
Fred also said that he had a gift for Harry, but he was giving it to him at dinner.
"You're joking," Theo deadpanned when they got back to the hotel and Sirius revealed Harry's gift. "You didn't want him to sleep with Fred and you bought him another gun?"
"It's beautiful," Harry sighed happily. He stroked the cold metal lovingly and gave Sirius a bright smile. "Where'd you find it? It looks loads nicer than my other one."
"That's because Malfoy bought that one in an antique store and I bought this one in an actual gun shop," Sirius said proudly. "Hell, I'd buy all you guys one if I knew you'd be going around killing death eaters with them."
Theo looked even more pained, but as Sirius then revealed what he had planned for today, Harry ignored him in favor of internally swooning.
He kept up a nonchalant look, but only barely.
"You're fucking amazing," Harry told Sirius with stars in his eyes when they arrived.
"It was actually Moony's idea," Sirius said, bouncing on the balls of his feet and looking just as eager as Harry was.
"It sounded like something you'd enjoy when I heard the muggle kids talking about it," Lupin said slowly, his eyes glued to the sign and looking a bit like he wished he could take it all back.
"I hate you all," Theo sighed despondently as he grabbed Hermione's hand and stormed inside the building marked:
Miami Acres Paintball Field
And then, excluding the first actual birthday he'd ever had with the Contessa and Blaise, Harry proceeded to have the best birthday of his life.
Even Theo was grinning when they left.
"That still doesn't count as payback," he murmured with a pointed look at Harry's knee where a dark green paint splotch marked where Theo hit him.
"It's fine," Harry said airily. He sent a pointed look at Theo's back where Hermione surprisingly proved she was a dead good shot. "I've got two guns now."
"And a safe to keep them in," Lupin said hastily.
Right.
And a safe to keep them in.
Harry winked at Trent who laughed.
"Fred sent me and told me to tell you to wear something nice," Hermione said as she just walked right in Harry's hotel room and threw an outfit on his bed before flopping down on it.
Harry, who just came out of the bathroom in only a towel around his waist, lurched back in the bathroom in shock. "Get out," he hissed. "Merlin, Mione."
"I can't," Hermione said simply as she covered her eyes with her hand. "I'm under strict orders to make sure you dress up and brush your hair."
"Fred said he wanted me to brush my hair?" Harry asked skeptically.
"No, but I can't let you go out tonight with a head full of messy hair," Hermione said. "Hurry up and get dressed."
"You've been spending too much time with Cissa," Harry said accusingly as he snatched the clothes and retreated back to the bathroom. "Oi! What is this?!"
"Clothes," Hermione laughed from the bedroom. "Hurry up. Fred's waiting."
"I look like a prat," Harry complained when he stepped out of the bathroom, pulling on the collar of the shirt Hermione gave him. "Fred doesn't give a damn what I wear."
Harry saw Hermione's glittering eyes and narrowed his own. "Hermione, did Fred send this stuff?" Harry gestured down at the tan trousers and navy blue shirt he wore.
"Alright, he didn't," Hermione admitted. "But you want to look nice tonight, right?"
"No."
"Dress up a little for your date?"
"Nope."
"Do it for Fred," Hermione rolled her eyes. "He's getting dressed up for you."
"Fine." Harry huffed as Hermione grabbed a hairbrush and began to look at him like he was a complicated bit of homework. "You're making a big deal out of nothing," he told her. "Fred and I eat dinner together all the time."
"Ooookay, afterwards when you thank me, remember this," Hermione said. "And crouch down a bit. You got taller this year."
Which was enough of a compliment to Harry that he suffered through her ministrations on his hair with minimal complains.
Plus, when Hermione was done, Harry could admit that he looked decent.
And, when Fred showed up with a muggle suit on and a picnic basket on his arm, Harry did give Hermione an appreciative look as they left.
"What are we doing?" Harry asked Fred curiously as he led him down the back stairs of the hotel, towards the beach exit.
"D'you trust me?" Fred asked instead as he stopped him in front of the exit.
Harry hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah."
Fred pulled a scarf out of the top of the basket and held it out with a playful smile. "Can I blindfold you for five minutes?"
Harry's insides froze for a split second as he looked between the scarf and Fred. "Why?"
"It's for a surprise," Fred said. He put his hand on the side of Harry's face and stroked his jaw line with his thumb. "Please? I'll be right next to you the whole time. Five minutes, maybe less."
Harry swallowed down his unease as he nodded again. "Maybe less," he said tightly as Fred carefully tied the scarf over his eyes.
You're not blind.
It's not dark.
Four minutes left.
"I'm grabbing your hand, and now I'm opening the door. Little step, love."
Harry was probably squeezing Fred's hand a bit too tightly to seem very manly, but as he was blind and following Fred's voice and his hand in an unfamiliar area, he didn't much care at the time.
"Almost there... and... stop."
Harry's hands immediately tore up to the scarf and he ripped it off quickly with a heavy sigh of relief. "What's—"
Harry closed his eyes then reopened them to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
Fred had brought him to a part of the beach that was partially concealed away with palm trees, but not so concealed that Harry couldn't see the sun setting over the ocean in front of them. And everywhere Harry looked around him, the sand was decorated lavishly with candles and... and flower petals?
"What's-" Harry gazed around at the candles and the flowers incredulously. "What's all this?"
Fred didn't answer, he just sat the basket on the ground and dropped down to one knee while he held Harry's two hands tightly in one of his hands. His other hand fished out a black velvet box that he popped open and held up.
Harry's breath left him in a quick whoosh as he blinked down at an actual ring in Fred's hand.
"What's- what's this?" Harry asked in a thick voice.
Fred looked up at Harry, his face shining with adoration and an honest love so absolute that Harry knew nobody in the world, in any world, had ever, or would ever, love him this much.
And that was probably the most terrifying realization Harry had ever had.
"Harry, I love you more than anything in the world. I think I always have, and I know I always will. You're a right terror and I would die for you. Will you marry me?"
Harry stared down at Fred, utterly dumbstruck. "W-why?" he asked in little more than a whisper. Did Fred really want to tie his entire life to Harry? With death eaters and Timmy calling for the blood of his friends? With Harry and... and just everything that comes with being Harry? "Why would you want to?"
Fred wasn't put off by his question. He stayed precisely where he was and kept looking at Harry as if he were the sun itself. "All those reasons I listed and more. You're my best friend Harry, my one true love. There's never going to be anyone else for me. This is it. We're it."
Harry felt suddenly like his whole future was flashing in front of him. Love and laughter and happiness and joy and all the things that he always knew existed in the world but were not for him.
For others? Sure.
For Harry Potter? Never.
Harry was a disease on the world and intent on making others suffer as much as they made him suffer. He was the worlds karmic justice.
Except Fred didn't think that.
Fred was looking at Harry like he really was a gift, like Fred was unbearably lucky to have Harry stand in front of him on this sandy beach and question his love.
Like Harry could have everything he used to dream about if he answered correctly.
"Yes," Harry said, his voice an actual whisper now. "If you're sure."
Fred jumped to his feet and grabbed Harry so quickly that Harry would later swear he had apparated himself directly in his arms.
"I love you," Fred swore heatedly. "I'm going to love you forever."
Harry stared in Fred's blue eyes, the truest shade of blue he'd ever seen, and a fierce and possessive sort of happiness seized his insides as Fred carefully slipped a ring on his finger.
This— this happiness- this love— this was his.And he would never give it up.
"I love you," Harry told him.
***
By the time they packed their bags and got ready to take the portkey back to Moon Lodge, Harry already felt wistful about having to leave.
Fred must have picked up on it because he squeezed Harry's hand and glanced down at his ring before winking. "We'll always have the memories darlin."
Which was a brilliant idea.
As soon as Harry got home, he was bottling this memory and keeping it somewhere safe forever.