June 15
"Take the day off," Severus murmured as he smoothed Harry's fringe off his sweaty forehead. "You are hardly a match for the werewolf while ill, Harry."
"I'm fine," Harry lied before he began expelling the rest of his breakfast in the basin Severus conjured for him. "Ugh," he groaned and threw his head back against the the top of his preferred chair in Severus' office. "You should make a new potion- anti withdrawals."
"Or you could take the potion I invented for you to begin with and end the withdrawals immediately," Severus offered smoothly.
He knew Harry would refuse, and Harry knew that Severus was unwilling to truly push the issue.
If Harry wanted to spend his last year of life untreated and battling his manic-depression, so be it.
If Harry wanted to go hunt down the wolf that attacked his friend and peel the skin from Greyback's body, so be it.
If Harry wanted to go assassinate the Minister of Magic next, so be it.
There was nothing Severus would deny him.
Not now.
Why would he when he had already given in to Harry's most painful request?
He would watch Harry burn the Dark Lord's world to ashes, assisting him every step of the way, and then Severus would be the one to cast that final spell at the end.
The last spell Severus anticipated ever casting.
*****
"I told you," Harry hissed. He held up Albus' wand and clenched his jaw as he attempted to cast a single spell through it. "It doesn't work. Dumbledore fucked me over, didn't he?"
"Let me see it," Severus said. He took the wand from Harry and felt no thrill of magic beneath his fingers. "Perhaps it is a fake?"
"You think Dumbledore carried a fake wand to the cave the night he planned on finding a horcrux?" Harry asked skeptically. "That sounds real likely to you, Sev?"
Severus scowled and closed his eyes in frustration. "No," he admitted. "It does not sound likely, but I have never heard of a wand whose power dies with its Master."
Harry shrugged and Severus saw the slight curl of his shoulders- the only visible proof of his disappointment. "Yeah," he sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Dumbledore couldn't just die, he wanted to make sure Timmy and I went with him."
Severus looked up to the sky in their backyard and considered Albus' fear that Harry would be the next Dark Lord to rise- unstoppable in his power.
It had been startling when Albus accepted and embraced death from Harry. It increased Severus' guilt at the actions as he saw it as a sign that Albus was a good man willing to die so that Harry could live.
He now saw the lack of self-defense in a more manipulative light.
Did Albus allow Harry to kill him without a fight to give Harry a chance to live or to ensure that his wand would recognize no new Master?
"If it is acceptable to you, I will take this wand to Ollivander and see if he can identify it as the Elder Wand or a false replica," Severus told Harry despite his certainty that it was the true wand from the story.
Harry's face was too knowing and tired for a young man of only sixteen as he looked toward Severus. "Go ahead," he said, a condescending and pitying look in his eyes. "But when he tells you that it's real, and that it won't work for me, don't forget what you've got to do."
As if Severus had forgotten for a single moment that he agreed to kill his son.
*****
"Here," Severus summoned an anti-nausea potion and floated it to knock lightly on Harry's head. "Drink."
"Cheers," Harry said with a weak smile before drinking the potion and almost immediately gaining a small flush to his cheeks and less hitches to his breathing. Harry sat the empty bottle down and shook his hands out- Severus perceptively noticed the slight tremble, though it was difficult to certainly attribute that to Harry's current illness as his hands had a tendency to shake ever since Azkaban.
"I'm gonna go find Juliana," Harry said, checking the time on his wristwatch. "She said she needed to sleep to 'recover from Cissa's party', but it's almost noon so that's plenty of sleep, yeah?"
Severus scoffed at the reminder of the actual, honest to Merlin, party that Narcissa held last night in celebration of Albus' death. He would have felt much worse about the entire event if he was not now certain that Albus' last act was to damn Harry to a early death.
Instead, Severus opted to drink his sorrow and his guilt away while he watched Harry flit around the room and interact with his friends.
He danced with Susan and Blaise Zabini to an upbeat song that Draco swore was 'all the rage'.
He was red-faced, but graceful, as he danced to a slower song with a mildly amused and overtly doting Juliana Zabini.
He refused to do more than graze at the endless food that the elves served.
He drank with the four older Weasley brothers, hid outside the backdoor to smoke with Krum and Abbott, and even chatted amicably with the Malfoy's.
Harry laughed with his godfather and Lupin, teased Nymphadora into dancing with him, made up ridiculous names for Theodore's daughter with Ronald and Longbottom, and appeared every bit as merry as could be.
But Severus saw the slump in his posture, the hitch in his breathing, and the dullness of his eyes as Harry spread himself thin trying to make his friends happy.
If Severus had to guess; he would say that as Harry saw his own death approaching, he was attempting to leave behind memories for everyone else to remember fondly.
And at the end of the night, Harry passed out on the sofa in a drunken stupor while Frederick fussed over him and transfigured the sofa to expand so he could sleep beside him.
Severus too had drank more than was proper and blissfully passed out in his bed only to be woken at an ungodly hour by a laughing Nymphadora as she reminded him that he had 'a busy day'. She also gave him a hangover potion from his own stores though, so Severus ire was diminished quite a bit.
"Perhaps you should leave Juliana to rest," Severus suggested suddenly to Harry, hiding his creeping desperation behind a nonchalant tone. "You should stay here, rest or go flying with your friends?"
Severus' stab at nonchalance was a pointless effort as Harry turned a knowing look to him.
"Sev, it won't be that bad," Harry told him with a smirk that belied his 'reassurance'. He reached over to pat Severus on the hand, causing Severus to scowl at the patronizing action. "Molly's nice and Fleur is brilliant, they won't bite you."
"I would prefer to hunt the wolf," Severus muttered darkly. "I may even prefer being bitten by the wolf."
Harry stiffened and narrowed his eyes. "Don't say that," he snapped. "We're fuckin lucky that it wasn't a full moon when he attacked Blaise."
Severus rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. Harry was not incorrect- Blaise was incredibly lucky that facial scars were the worst disfigurement he had. His shoulder would always be scarred, proof of where Greyback had torn a chunk of his flesh off his body, but Blaise had not caught lycanthropy.
According to Lupin, who seemed to have attempted to bring Blaise under his wing after the attack, the worse of the non-visible changes in Blaise were his newfound love of undercooked meats, a quicker jump to aggressive behavior, and a rasp in his voice that had previously been absent.
A rasp that Juliana assured her son was 'charming' and 'enhanced his natural appeal'.
"I would trade your friend places in an instant if I could," Severus said. He lifted the corner of his lips so that Harry saw it as more of a jest than a jab at his friend, but it was true nonetheless.
Harry did not look amused through as he got to his feet. He bit his lip and looked around the room as if steeling himself to say something.
Severus would never tire of that look.
In all the ways that Harry had grown and matured since he was a wisp of an eleven year old boy, he still carried many traits that made Severus nostalgic to see.
"Look, I'm not manipulating you or blackmailing you or anything," Harry said, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes perfectly earnest despite the hesitance in his tone. "I know we never labeled anything between us—
Harry must be forgetting the quite legal paperwork that was set to expire in a little over a months time.
—but Molly sort of assumed you'd be the one coming since you're the only parent I have," Harry said, averting his eyes in discomfort. "If you really don't want to go though, I'll ask Sirius or Cissa to go."
"Don't be absurd," Severus said as he got to his own feet. "I will suffer through this luncheon and you will owe me."
Harry looked relieved and his smirk was back to being amused. "Might wanna get your favors in soon, Sev, once we find that tiara it's all over."
"That is not funny," Severus said quietly, his chest tight at the reminder.
Harry placed a warm hand on his shoulder as he passed him to go find Juliana. "It's not a joke, Sev."
Severus wished it was.
Severus also wished that Harry had taken him along to hunt the wolf and he had not allowed a sense of sentimentality to overcome him when he floo'd to Molly Weasley's home for 'lunch'.
There was food, but neither of the witches were interested in eating as they poured over books and pamphlets and mail orders that they insisted on shoving under Severus' nose every few minutes.
"Roses?" Molly asked Severus, shoving another damned pamphlet toward him, this one adorned with photographs of various flowers in bloom.
"Or ze peonies?" Fleur asked, pointing to a photo of pink peonies.
Perhaps this was Severus' true penance for all the misdeeds of his past- being forced to plan a wedding.
Though, Severus truly did not believe he had ever committed an act so atrocious that this hell would be a fitting punishment.
Severus hesitated as he looked between the two zealous and eager witches.
Did Harry or Frederick even like flowers? Did they even know any of the significance of different flowers and their meanings?
"Perhaps…"
Severus' distress at being forced to make a decision was thankfully broken by a knock before Molly's front door was thrown open. The three of them looked up to see who joined them, Molly and Fleur in irritating at the interruption and Severus in reverent gratitude, and Nymphadora came bounding in the sitting room with one of Severus' casual shirts on top of her jeans and a bright smile on her face.
Thank God.
Nymphadora was followed by a much more somber Andromeda Tonks and a jolly Ted Tonks.
Let lightning pour from the sky and kill me now.
Severus tried to recall if he had ever perhaps gotten intoxicated and slaughtered an entire hospital full of vulnerable patients and newborn infants. As he was certain he had never done such a horrifying act, he was unsure why he was being punished so horribly.
Was it not enough that he was forced to help plan a wedding for the young man he would have to kill?
Did Nymphadora have to bring her parents along to witness it?
"Oh, good!" Molly cried. She jumped to her feet and cleared a stack of magazines from a sofa to make room for the Tonks' to sit. "You're here! Please, make yourself at home! There's food over there," she waved her hand toward the table that had been shoved to the side of the sitting room and was buried with dishes.
Severus tried to silently ask Nymphadora what she was doing there, but Ted spoke up before he could.
"Course we're here!" he said with a wide smile that matched his ridiculously cheerful tone. "I can't find out about the boys without talking to their families, can I?"
Severus' confusion as to why Ted Tonks would need to know more about Harry or Frederick was quickly resolved as Fleur politely pointed to a line on the parchment of decisions that stated 'Minister- Ted Tonks'.
Ted chuckled at his own joke and sank down to sit beside Andromeda once she sat. Nymphadora, because she seemed to simply thrive on chaos, chose to sit on the floor at Severus' feet and lean back against his legs.
Severus averted his eyes to the ceiling in a brief moment of prayer to any deity that may hear him that he was struck down immediately in the most terribly painful way.
Fleur seemed immune to Severus' deep discomfort and utter misery though and she waved the pamphlet of flowers at him once more. "Peonies or roses?" she demanded.
Severus was prepared to snatch the pamphlet and light it on fire, consequences be damned, when Nymphadora reached for it and began looking it over.
"What colors are they doing?" Nymphadora asked as she looked through it.
"Gold and silver," Molly answered. "Harry, bless his heart, wanted to do red and green."
"What was the issue?" Severus asked, forcing himself to keep the bite from his tone. He thought of the ring Frederick purchased Harry- a handsome golden band with intermixed rubies and emeralds through the center of it. Harry had given Frederick a silver ring with only emeralds on Frederick's eighteenth birthday, but Severus thought that Frederick's ring symbolized their unity as a pair more than Harry's ring that symbolized his claim on Frederick's future.
And if Harry wished for his wedding to be the two most clashing colors possible, why not allow it?
"Severus," Molly shook her head at him, acting as if he were a naughty child. "Don't you think that the Hogwarts house colors shouldn't be a primary color scheme for a wedding?"
Severus had a sudden, morbid, and unhelpful, thought that perhaps they should decorate the wedding in black and reuse them for Harry's funeral.
"Hmm," he said impartially.
"'Arry and Fred agreed on ze gold and silver," Fleur whispered quietly to Severus from his right side. "If 'e wanted ze ozzer colors, we would 'ave done zem."
Severus gave her a grateful look and relaxed in the knowledge that Fleur Delacour would certainly go out of her way to ensure that August first was precisely what Harry wanted.
"Well I don't think you should be doing white flowers at all," Nymphadora said brightly as she glanced at where Molly had been making notes of 'final decisions'. "Mum always said that white symbolizes purity and innocence and that's all wrong for this wedding." She winked up at Severus with an impish light in her eyes, "Don't you think, Sev?"
Would it be the height of selfishness if Severus killed himself in the middle of this gathering as everyone looked toward him?
Did he particularly care if it was if it meant escaping this hell? Or, at a minimum, trading it for a different one?
"White would be inappropriate, yes," Severus agreed lightly. He looked at the pamphlet over Nymphadora's shoulder, steadfastly ignoring the lock of pink hair that had fallen in her face. "There," he pointed, "why not cream and red colored tulips? Appropriate meanings and they would not clash with the gold or silver decor."
Molly pursed her lips while she considered it.
"Commitment and passionate love?" Fleur said thoughtfully. "Oui, eet eez perfect, Severus."
Severus smug look while Molly nodded and wrote it down dissipated as Andromeda caught his eye with a sly look in her own grey ones.
"I had no idea you had such a flair for flowers, Severus," she said in a voice so similar to Narcissa's own soft tone that was typically laced with subtle underlying sarcasm. "In fact, I'm afraid that I don't really know much about you in general."
"Well that's why we're here, isn't it?" Ted said with a smile. "Now, Severus, what can you tell me about Harry? I know we met before, and he's a nice lad, but I didn't learn much about him, did I?"
He likely did not. Harry, Theodore, Granger, and Severus had spent an evening during the last Christmas break at the Tonks home with Nymphadora and Susan. Severus had been the one under scrutinization from Ted and Andromeda as they alternated between shooting him wary looks and doting on their newly self-proclaimed granddaughter.
An incredibly amusing thought, as Andromeda, a mere nine years older than Severus, would be quite the young grandmother to the seventeen year old witch.
"Now I don't need to know anything too personal, mind you, but just an idea of Harry's personality so I can write something more intimate for the ceremony." Ted gave Severus an earnest look and seemed to be waiting for him to speak.
Severus hesitated once more, uncertain as to what he should say.
'Harry suffers from mental illness so today his personality was rather stable and withdrawn, but next week he may be bubbly and outgoing.'
'Harry is chaos personified, a descendant from the trickster god himself undoubtedly. He enjoys flying, dueling, and hunting down victims to kill.'
"Harry is rather reserved," Severus said slowly, choosing his words as he went. "He can be temperamental, but he is loyal to a fault and passionate about his causes."
"And as reluctant to discuss himself as you are?" Andromeda asked with a slight smirk.
"Harry is a lot like Severus," Nymphadora said, her usually bright tone carried a hint of warning as she spoke to her mother. "They're both loyal and intelligent and resourceful."
"True Slytherins then, eh?" Ted laughed while patting his Slytherin wife on the knee.
Severus had wondered what house Ted Tonks had been in, but quite obviously it had been Hufflepuff like his daughter after him.
"And Fred's a Gryffindor through and through," Molly said with a sigh that gave Severus the impression that she would be dissolving into tears shortly. "I think it's beautiful that they never let any nonsense like 'house loyalty' keep them from being together."
"Vairy romantic," Fleur agreed solemnly.
Nymphadora smiled up at Severus, offering him the opportunity to try and send her a message with only the subtle upward tick of his eyebrows.
'Invent an excuse so that we can leave,' is what he hoped to communicate.
If it worked or not remained to be seen as Nymphadora winked and turned to Molly with an eager smile. "What else needs to be figured out, Molly?"
Severus was unsure if Nymphadora had went out of her way to ensure he was tortured for another three hours with wedding planning and offering small bits of information about Harry to Ted, but he suspected she did.
If Harry was chaos personified, then Nymphadora was certainly a forest imp in another life.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Nymphadora murmured when she attached herself to Severus in their bed that night.
"Your mother hates me and Molly and Fleur argued for twenty minutes over cake flavor," Severus said drily.
Nymphadora laughed and rubbed her nose along Severus' neck. "Mum doesn't hate you, she just doesn't know you very well. And I thought your suggestion of iced fairy cakes of different flavors was a good compromise."
"And I thought that your idea of not allowing Fleur to release doves during the ceremony was the first intelligent thing I had heard all day," Severus told her in a sardonic tone that did nothing to contradict the truth in his words.
Nymphadora laughed again, though more breathily than before as her nuzzling became more sensual and focused. "As long as they're happy, that's all that matters, right?"
Severus hummed and allowed Nymphadora to distract him from the nightmare of a day and apparently apologize for antagonizing him during their 'luncheon'.
Or, perhaps, she was apologizing in advance as just before they fell asleep a couple of hours later she admitted to him that she told Molly they'd return to her house the next evening to help choose a damned dinner menu.
***
Severus was caught by surprise when he entered the dining room later that next week and found, not Harry, but Juliana Zabini sitting at the table.
Severus had anticipated Juliana to return to Italy rather quickly, but it was nearing two weeks since she arrived and she seemed to have no inclination to return to Italy until Greyback was found. Despite sharing the same house, Severus had not had many opportunities to interact with the reclusive woman who tended to spend the majority of her time with Blaise, Harry, or Narcissa, and Severus preferred it that way.
She now sat at the table had her hands folded beneath her chin and her sharp honey-golden eyes trained on the doorway when Severus entered.
"I will be leaving you to enjoy breakfast with my Meraviglia in a moment," she said, her silky voice heavy with a foreign accent and ten degrees cooler than the sweet tone she reserved for Harry and Blaise. She snapped her fingers in an impressive display of wandless magic and Severus felt a ward settle around the table, doubtlessly ensuring privacy for whatever she wished to discuss with him.
Severus settled in his usual chair, opting to remain entirely at ease with the unsettling woman. He folded his hands calmly on the table and gave her a look of attention, silently waiting for her to speak.
"I thought that we had an agreement, you and I," Juliana said. "You were meant to protect my Meraviglia, and in turn I did not end your life for making him an orphan to begin with."
Severus showed no outward reaction to her accusation aside from the interested lifting of one eyebrow. "You may have missed this, but Harry is quite determined to be as difficult as possible to protect," Severus drawled. "I regret what happened in May—"
"It is not about that," Juliana snapped, her eyes flashing with the first hint of actual danger. "It is about your plan to end that young man's life."
Severus kept his facade up, though he was rather shocked. "Harry told you?"
"He did." Juliana sneered at Severus, a look of disdain that would be amusing in any other situation. "He asked that I vow on my magic to not reveal your plan to anyone until after he is gone. He is worried that you, the protettore of my dearest Meraviglia, will be arrested and he sought out my assurances that I would protect you from such a fate."
Severus attempted to withhold his wince of pain that Harry was working to ensure Severus' freedom even while grappling with all the weight that he carried.
It was touching, and heartbreaking.
Juliana must have sensed Severus' desolation though because she softened just slightly as she leaned toward him and reached across the table to grab his wrist. She dug her nails in to his skin and searched his eyes for something. "Is there nothing?" she whispered. "Nothing that can save him?"
Severus swallowed harshly and shook his head; a silent admission of his failure. "I thought… the Hallows- a fable—"
"The Master of Death, no?" Juliana said, a flame of hope in her eyes ignoring, the same hope that Severus had latched on to. "Do you know where the hallows are?"
It was not altogether surprising that Juliana already knew what Severus had meant by the Hallows. Juliana was a famously grey witch who learned magic alongside the fae. She had travelled the world and picked up mannerisms and magic from each place she visited.
Severus had received many recommendations on legends of immortal wizards from Juliana last summer when he was researching ways to ensure Harry survived.
"Harry has them," Severus said. He used his free hand to pull the Elder Wand from his inner robe pocket and held it out for Juliana's inspection. "He killed the previous owner of the wand, but it does not recognize him as its Master. He is unable to cast a single spell from the wand."
Juliana shot a sharp look at Severus before releasing his wrist and gently grabbing the wand. "You have had an expert inspect this, yes?" she asked, glancing at Severus through her thick lashes.
"I have not yet had the opportunity, no," Severus admitted. "I plan on asking Ollivander—"
"Garrick Ollivander?" Juliana laughed, an airy sound of contempt. "Certainly you would find a more renowned expert on the mysterious and finite nature of wand allegiances than Ollivander, particularly when it is our Harry's life on the line, hmm?"
Juliana Zabini had a gift of making the most sound of plans sound as inane as if a child were the one who conceived it.
"I did, unless you know of a more well-informed wand maker?" Severus asked, his clenched jaw sending an ache to his head that caused his eyelid to twitch.
Juliana scoffed and handed Severus back the wand. "At least a dozen more intelligent and ingenious masters of wandlore than Ollivander Garrick," she sneered haughtily. She got to her feet then, standing gracefully, "Inform my Meraviglia that he should take my Amore with him while I reach out to someone who may resolve this issue for us, yes?"
Severus tilted his chin in agreement and watched as the woman swept from the room, removing the wards she initially placed with nothing more than a graceful flick of her hand.
She paused at the doorway and gave Severus a small and cold smile that sent a shiver down his spine. "If you kill that boy, I will kill you," she said softly. "It will be the last and most painful experience of your life."
Severus twisted his lips into a smirk of acceptance. "When I have to kill my child, the true most painful experience of my life, I will beg you for death the moment he is placed in the ground. My only request is that you allow me to live long enough to ensure he receives the accolades he deserves."
Juliana searched his eyes for any tell that would contradict his words and nodded when she found none. "And I shall grant you both time to bury him and a swift death," she said simply, a comfortable deal between two people so passionate about Harry's life. "Enjoy your meal."
Severus rubbed the nail marks she left in his hand ruefully as her stiletto heels were heard clacking lightly back up the staircase.
It was little wonder that Harry was obsessed with the woman- they were two sides of the same ruthless and formidable coin.
"What's got you pissed already?" Harry snorted when he finally arrived for breakfast and he spotted the empty pain reliever beside Severus' drink.
"Did you know that Molly Weasley was a madwoman before you volunteered me to assist her?" Severus asked Harry instead of answering.
"A bit, yeah," Harry said remorselessly. He cocked his head at Severus curiously, "What's she got you doing now?"
Severus narrowed his eyes at Harry. "I believe today we are meant to be going over the guest list."
Harry smirked and leaned back in his chair with almost as much easy grace as Juliana had when she adopted a similar position in Harry's chair less than an hour before. "Can you make sure that a witch named Verity gets an invite? It's important."
Severus very nearly scoffed at Harry's utter pettiness and his ridiculous levels of jealous. Then he recalled that, along with ensuring a pretty witch who had worked at Frederick's now ruined shop witnessed Harry marrying Frederick, that Harry also had went out of his way to ensure that someone would work to keep Severus from Azkaban once he killed the much beloved hero of the wizarding world.
As self-centered as Harry typically could be… Now, when he could be as selfish as he liked without any condemnation from anyone, when he had put a self-imposed timer on his life that had fifty weeks left, Harry was working to leave behind happy memories for his friends and freedom for his guardian.
"Yes," Severus said quietly, sorrow filling his chest and restricting his air flow as he looked at the child who carried the weight of his own impending death with a maturity that Severus would never achieve on his best day. "I will ensure that Verity receives an invite."