Harry was going to go mad before Sev could ever kill him.
Every day he woke up in Invisibility Way felt like waking up in hell and he was slowly losing his mind.
Harry woke up, he had breakfast, he read the paper, and he hid from the dozen people who lived in his house and tried to make him entirely mad.
Sev and the questions in his eyes when Harry's passively bored expression slipped.
Fred and his scars and his grief as he needed Harry's support.
Susan and Luna and their efforts to assist Harry in plans he wouldn't be including them in.
George and his sightless blue eyes and wheelchair that floated him around the house, haunting Harry in his resemblance to Fred.
Tonks and her cheerfulness that made Harry irrationally want to strike her.
The Malfoy's and their insistence that Harry end the war, free them from confinement, get them back with their son.
It was a relief that Harry hadn't spoken to Hermione since the day he ran into Dudley. One less ghost haunting him was a small blessing and Harry would take them where he could get them.
Theo was Harry's only sanctuary.
Harry could sit in Theo's room and smoke inside his bubble, keeping the air clean for Rosie, while his brother read books aloud to his daughter.
That was where Harry was safe to be as agitated and on edge as he pleased.
Despite Theo's lack of assistance, he had been named a wanted criminal just as the others all had, so he was just as trapped as they were. Nobody - not Sev or Tonks, neither Fred nor George, or even Lupin and the Malfoy's - could risk leaving ever since they blew up the prison and the Minister listed them all as suspects. Theo didn't mind being confined to the house though, and Harry suspected that he merely enjoyed the excuse to not venture out and risk Rosie's safety in any way anymore.
Not Harry though; Harry could come and go as he pleased.
He wished there was someplace he could go.
Harry sat at breakfast one morning, musing over the trees outside. It would probably be the last time he saw the leaves change from autumn green to truly fall orange.
Theo told Harry to stay optimistic, but that was a joke.
Harry's life had never been marked for a happy ending and Theo was a fool for thinking anything could change it. Harry hummed and pretended to agree with his brother, but Theo saw the false assurances and always scowled harshly at him for it.
There was a tree outside that Harry liked. He'd snogged Fred under that tree, he'd had a picnic with the girls under that tree. Not long ago, he'd held Rosie under that tree. It had been beautiful, filled with leaves and the scent of earth, and now the branches were dark and frail looking without the leaves to trick someone into seeing its beauty.
Harry shook his head at himself and plucked up the paper. He was getting morbid the closer to his deadline he got.
There was still so much to do and so little time to do it.
The list in Harry's pocket seemed to grow every day:
Investigate warehouses Find homes for Muggleborns
Remove death eaters from Hogwarts
Out Minister as Dark Lord(?)
Find the tiara
Get the cup
Die
Harry had planned on sending the others to the warehouse, but then they were all essentially locked down, and Harry had to add the job to his own list.
The muggleborns they'd rescued from Azkaban were an issue. They were clogging up Moon Lodge and Lupin was anxious that they'd end up in danger with the dozen wolves who lived there. Harry sure as hell wasn't going to move them in his house, he'd had enough of them the few days he'd been conscious at Moon Lodge, but they had to go somewhere.
Preferably, somewhere out of the country. But Harry still hadn't heard back from Viktor or Juliana, so they were still at Moon Lodge for the time being.
Lupin's problem, really. It was no wonder he'd been in and out of Invisibility Way so much recently.
Harry didn't fancy breaking into Hogwarts just yet, it wasn't much of a priority, more of a fuck you to Timmy, and outing the Minister was the same.
Which just left getting the goblet from Rabastan Lestrange's vault and finding some god damned tiara that had a bit of Timmy's soul in it.
Oh, and letting Sev kill him, of course.
The paper was the same bullshit that had been in it since Timmy declared himself Minister of Magic.
'Voldemort' hadn't been seen since fleeing the Ministry, muggleborns were required to submit themselves for 'validation of their magic', and Harry's friends' names were still listed as wanted criminals for the crime of destroying Azkaban.
Which, to be fair, Harry hadn't technically blown up the prison. Neither had Lupin, Narcissa, or Lucius, but he wasn't overly fussed about their names being listed.
Timmy was just being petty.
Sev joined Harry while Harry was still reading an article outlining the dangers of muggleborns, pure shit, really, and he cleared his throat until Harry slowly lowered the paper.
"Good morning," Sev said, his voice slow and calm. "How are you?"
Harry mimicked his voice, poorly. "Good morning, I'm going mad. How are you?"
Sev's upper lip quivered at Harry's mocking tone, but he inclined his head all the same.
"Quite well, thank you," he said.
Harry rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, waiting for the questions to start.
"How are you feeling?" Sev asked before Harry could even count to eight.
"Annoyed."
"Have you considered taking your medication?"
"Not since the last time you asked me, which was… oh, right, fuckin yesterday."
Sev remained impassive and unimpressed with Harry's refusal to take his potion. It had been a rather spectacular feud, with Sev insisting that somehow all the stress Harry was dealing with would just disappear if he took it.
Harry stuck to his guns though, he wasn't going to take it. He had been skeptical of it working ever since Sev told him he'd still 'experience mood swings' and he was sure it would only be less effective now.
And Harry was so bloody sick of arguing with everyone about everything. Sometimes it was easier to simply walk away, let them argue with themselves.
Harry had more important shit to deal with.
Sev poured two cups of coffee, the spoon of sugar freezing above a cup when Harry cleared his throat.
"No sugar, I've got stuff to do," Harry told him.
Sev raised a brow, "You want black coffee?"
That seemed like another thing Harry wasn't going to bother answering and Sev finally slid him a cup with a quiet scoff.
"What tasks are you dealing with today?" Sev asked while they both made their plates. It was tense, in a way it usually wasn't, between them. It was as if they were both holding something back - both of them building different ideas on tackling the mountains of problems before them.
Harry didn't like feeling at odds with Sev, honestly, but he liked being responsible for thousands of lives even less.
"Stuff with Theo," Harry said before quickly taking a large bite of sausage to prevent having to elaborate.
Sev's eye twitched lightly and Harry fought back the urge to smirk, certain it would spur an argument he didn't want to have.
"Chain smoking in Theodore's room again?" Sev sneered after Harry took a couple more hasty bites and got to his feet.
Harry finally did smirk then. "You sound jealous," he laughed coolly. "If you'd like I can chain smoke in your room, but if I see Tonks topless one more time I'm going to blind myself."
While Sev scowled and his jaw clenched, causing another tick in his eye, Harry snatched his cup of coffee and took it with him to go work on his project with his brother.
"You will end up with lung cancer!" Sev yelled at Harry's back.
Harry didn't even bother laughing at such a ridiculous argument. He just shot Sev an amused look over his shoulder.
"Brill, suppose you won't have to kill me after all, yeah?"
"Ready?" Theo asked, his wand to Harry's temple. They sat in wooden chairs, nearly knee to knee, and stared in each others eyes with an intensity that made Harry's neck itch.
"Do not go digging," Harry hissed once more. "I will shoot your other fuckin knee if you do."
Theo bit his lower lip and nodded. "I won't, pull it up now."
Harry placed his hands on his knees, holding them tightly so he didn't accidentally reach out and hit Theo, then cleared his mind aside from the memories he wanted Theo to find.
"Ready," Harry said.
"Legilimens."
Harry stood just inside Sev's office at Spinner's End with Sev and Lucius Malfoy. Harry was hiding in a closet, peeking through the slants and eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for him to hear.
Lucius was flushed, sweating, pacing anxiously. "If I don't take my place by His side, He has threatened to kill Draco."
Sev put a consoling hand on Lucius' shoulder. "I acted as a spy for Albus before, perhaps he would offer you my old position?"
Lucius stopped pacing and gave Sev a hopeful look that Harry had never seen on his face before. "Do you believe he would?"
"I believe with your son's life at stake, it is worth a conversation," Sev said solemnly. "Come, let us floo him at once."
Harry stayed quiet, not wanting to be kicked out of the adults' conversation, while Sev and Lucius talked with Dumbledore in the fireplace. Harry wasn't surprised when Dumbledore easily agreed to have Lucius take the spot Sev couldn't; who would deny him when Draco's life was at stake?
"For your family's safety, you must tell no one," Dumbledore said gravely, his face foggy in the flames, but it was unmistakably his voice. "Do what you must to play your part convincingly, dearest boy. I will ensure you stay out of Azkaban."
Harry pushed Theo from his mind and released himself from his spell with a shuddering gasp. He bent forward, clutching his head, and groaned.
"'Dearest boy' is a bit of overkill," Theo said as he handed Harry a potion and moved the silver strand of a memory to an empty vial.
Harry shrugged as he down the pain reliever. "It's not like he's here to call me a liar," he pointed out.
Theo grinned slightly, "Touché. Ready for Azkaban now?"
It took Harry a moment to let the pain reliever wash away the uncomfortable feeling of letting someone else in his head and then he nodded.
"Ready."
"Legilimens."
"They're locking muggleborns up like animals! It's inhumane!" Susan cried, pulling at her hair frantically.
Fred was stretched across one of the recliners next to Harry, his face twisted in a look of disgust.
"It's rubbish!" Fred agreed. "Someone should do something!"
Harry studied the wand he held in his hands, the one that Ollivander sold him when he was a much smaller child, one who never could imagine such a cruel world.
"If You-Know-Who is using the prison to torture muggleborns, then the prison needs to go." Harry's eyes were wet when he looked at his husband and his best friend. "I know it's illegal, but surely it's a smaller crime than what they're doing?"
"We'd save so many lives," Susan sniffled. She wiped her snotting nose on her sleeve then held her chin high. "Let's save them, Harry."
Harry shook his head gently at her. "You can't go, Sue," he said quietly. "If anyone's going to be arrested for it, it should be me."
Fred reached out and placed his hand over Harry's, turning his head to look him steadily in the eyes.
"We'll go with you. You can't go alone, not with the dementors."
"I don't want you two to end up in trouble," Harry insisted. "It's safer if it's just me. I- I've been there before. It'll be fine."
Susan moved quickly, kneeling before Harry and clenching his knees with her hands, digging her nails in his skin through his trousers.
"We go together or we don't go at all."
A few days later, Harry, Fred, Susan, and Sirius flew on brooms to Azkaban, all prepared to risk their freedom to save the muggleborns.
A flash of Harry releasing muggleborns after casting his patronus- "Go!" he yelled, pushing them to Fred to be apparated to safety.
A scene of the guard fighting them, snarling that 'mudbloods deserved the kiss'. Harry hadn't meant to cut him, he'd only been trying to get his hands off his neck.
'You don't care about muggleborns, you're just selfish,' Hermione whispered when dementors floated too closely to Harry.
"You didn't see that," Harry snarled the instant he'd thrown Theo out of his mind. He had a hand on Theo's neck, squeezing just tight enough to prove his point. "Don't," he warned him when Theo's mouth opened.
Theo nodded and Harry slowly, one finger at a time, released him.
"Prat," Theo gasped as he began massaging his neck, desperately inhaling air to his lungs. "You're hearing Her- her voice?"
Harry stood up abruptly, kicking his chair away and sending it clattering against the opposite wall from where the crib Rosie slept in was.
"I said you didn't see that," Harry snapped, narrowing his eyes and pointing a finger at Theo. "Shut the fuck up, I mean it."
Theo held his hands up, palm out, as he slowly stood up and inched over to stand beside Rosie's crib.
Coward.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Theo asked, one hand resting on top of Rosie's dark curls. His eyes truly looked wet and Harry had to turn his head to pretend not to notice.
"What part of SHUT THE FUCK UP, do you not understand?!" Harry demanded.
Theo snorted and Harry didn't need to see his face to know that he was probably crying, an idea that had Harry's neck itching once more.
"Let's do the rest tomorrow," Theo said, suddenly sounding weary beyond reason. "If you don't want that last bit in there, we'll have to redo it. I'd take out the bit with Susan crying, Merlin knows she'll never be able to reenact it."
Harry glared at the wall for a moment before nodding curtly then leaving Theo's room with a harsh slam of the door behind him.
Just because Theo was the only person that Harry could have help him with ensuring everyone's freedom didn't mean he wasn't a pain in Harry's arse the entire time.
After snagging a drink from Mavis, Harry wandered out back, relishing in the slight warmth that the weak sunshine offered. It would be a good day to get his bike out for a bit, or perhaps even fly…
Harry squinted at the broom shed. It seemed like someone else had the same idea he did, as the door was wide open. Harry could go back inside, avoid whoever was out there, but on the off chance it was Fred, Harry made his way over there.
Harry froze just outside the shed and held his breath, hoping he hadn't been heard.
It was not Fred.
It was George.
"Who's there?" George called, turning his head and looking directly at Harry, but not seeing him. It was… unnerving, seeing George's eyes (so like Fred's) vacant and blinded. It was worse seeing them swollen, puffy, and overflowing with tears.
Harry hated it. Truthfully, he thought he might hate George.
"Harrikins?" George asked. He turned his silver wheelchair around by touching the wheel, the runs activating to follow his motions, and faced the doorway where Harry stood. "I know you're there, mate."
Harry bit the inside of his cheek, hard. "How?" he asked.
George grinned and tapped his ear. "Super hearing."
Harry scoffed, "Doubtful."
"Nah, you're just the quietest person in the house," George laughed. "Not like Tonks, bloody loud, she is. Come out for a fly?"
Harry glanced at the racks of brooms they had hung up along one wall, noticing that the broom engraved with 'George Weasley' was off the shelf and laid out on the counter with the broom servicing kit.
"No," Harry lied, "I came to smoke."
George shrugged then guided his chair through the door, nearly toppling Harry in his path.
"If you want to fly, fly," he said, not sounding as joyful as usual. "Don't waste good sunshine because I can't fly anymore."
Harry followed George's chair toward the house, interested despite himself in his tone.
"You're alive, isn't that better than flying?" Harry asked in a slow drawl, mocking him just a bit.
George laughed bitterly. "Oh yeah, Harrikins, it's a real bloody party in this chair. Add in the never ending nighttime and I'm living my best life."
Harry grabbed the handle of his wheelchair, yanking it to a halt. He spun the chair around and glowered at George, irrationally irritated that he couldn't even see Harry's angry expression.
"A lot of fuckin people would give anything to be alive," Harry said in a soft and harsh tone, his face right in George's. "I'd take being blind and not walking over being dead any day of the fuckin week, wouldn't I?"
George slapped Harry's hands off the handle of his chair and backed it toward the house.
"Well it's a bloody good thing you don't have to choose then, isn't it?" George asked with a quiver in his voice. He wiped his face off on the sleeve of the thick Weasley jumper he wore then plastered what Harry suddenly realized was a fake smile on his lips. "Enjoy the sky, Harrikins, see you later."
Harry leaned against the house after George bumped his way inside of it and ran an exhausted hand down the front of his face.
"Yeah," he muttered to himself, "it's a bloody good thing I don't have to choose."
*****
"You look tired," Sev said as way of greeting one morning.
Harry's head was pounding, despite the two pain relievers he'd taken during the night, and he doubted if he'd even gotten two whole hours of sleep. He felt tired, tired and fucking miserable.
"Thanks," Harry scoffed sarcastically. "Anyone ever tell you that you're brilliant at cheering people up?"
"Never," Sev said. He took his usual seat across the table from Harry. Harry could feel his eyes boring into him, despite the fact that Harry's face was covered with his hands.
"Take the day off whatever inane schemes you are building with Theodore," Sev suggested to Harry quietly, his voice soft and genuine. "Perhaps go do something else, drive that death trap from your godfather or fly with Frederick?"
"Can't," Harry said tersely. He lifted his head when a cup slid across the table to him, coffee, black, just as Harry had been taking it for weeks. "I sent all the brooms to Lupin's."
Both of Sev's eyebrows shot up high on his forehead. "Why would you do such a thing?" he asked.
Harry shrugged and ran his thumb back and forth across the worn path of the table - proof of Harry Potter's irritation, the marking could one day read - trying to find a way to explain his choice so it didn't sound stupid.
"Sky wanted to learn to play quidditch so I'm loaning them our brooms," Harry finally said, a bald-faced lie.
"Indeed?" Sev asked, narrowing his eyes as he studied Harry's bored face. "And this has nothing to do with George Weasley crying in the broom shed once a day?"
"Dunno what you mean," Harry said airily. "Oi, did Lue ask you about going with her to get stuff from her place?"
Sev rolled his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest. In Harry's opinion, Sev had no real reason to wear his teaching robes around their house, but Harry figured it was for moments like then so Sev could draw himself up straight and look down his nose at Harry like an errant schoolboy.
"Only you would make up an insipid lie to cover a considerate decision," Sev said. He ignored Harry's juvenile middle finger he flashed and went on. "And yes, despite my overwhelming desire to not risk taking Lovegood outside our wards, Nymphadora and I will be taking her to home. I suppose there is quite the cunning plot behind this decision?"
Harry nodded seriously. "Yeah, it's complicated too, so listen up…" Harry leaned forward, resting his upper body on his elbows, and dropped his voice to a near whisper. "Lue wants her stuff and I want her to have it."
Which wasn't a lie at all. Luna had came to Harry just the day before and asked if he would help her go to her old house and see if some of her things were salvageable. What Luna wanted, two years later, from her house, Harry couldn't guess and Luna wouldn't say, but if it was important to Luna then it was important to Harry.
And just as Harry could only trust Theo with his current ongoing project, Harry would only trust Sev to take Luna outside the wards.
"You and your merry band of misfits have given me grey hair," Sev said scathingly. "I will develop bald spots soon, I am certain of it."
Harry smirked and relaxed back in his chair, watching as Sevvie flew closer and closer to the house with the post tied to his leg. It wasn't that Harry's animagus form wasn't brill, because Harry had killed that guard before he could even scream, but he'd hoped he'd be a bird or something.
Flying was one of the greatest parts of life.
"I didn't realize you were so vain," Harry told Sev. He waved his hand lazily, opening the windows for his little black owl without getting up.
Sev watched when Sevvie flew straight past him, clipping him in the head with his wing.
Accidentally, Harry was sure.
"And I did not realize you were so popular," Sev said, eyeing the two letters Harry received with blatant curiosity. "More secret admirers?"
"The last secret admirer I had was Timmy," Harry muttered before eagerly unrolling the poshly tied scroll that he hoped was from Juliana Zabini.
"Yes!" Harry hissed out a cheer after he quickly scanned the letter. He looked up at Sev with the first small grin he'd had in ages. "Blaise's mum said she'll send Lupin a couple of illegal portkeys in a couple days. To collect the muggleborn kids," Harry explained when Sev didn't seem to be comprehending him.
"Ah." Sev nodded shortly, a look of approval in his eyes. "Excellent. They would be quite safe outside the country, given the current climate."
'Current climate' was a bit of an understatement, but Harry ignored Sev so he could carefully unroll the second letter and read it.
Then reread it.
Then smacked himself in the head mentally.
"Damn," Harry swore quietly. "I forgot."
H,
Do something.
Professor Carrow and Headmaster Carrow have began torturing students for detentions. Ron's had to make a run for it, he's hiding in a place good for target practice, when he refused to crucio a first year for a petty infraction.
We're doing what we can, but it sure would be easier if they weren't here.
Miss you, mate.
-N.
Harry frowned at the letter from Neville and tapped the table in irritation. He had plans on trying to find a way to locate the warehouses and begin destroying them like they had Azkaban, but he could probably work around that in favor of taking care of the school first.
"What's happening?" Fred asked Harry, jolting him from his thoughts as he plopped down in the chair to Harry's right.
Harry blinked and then forced a cheerful smile on his face. "Remember how we wanted a honeymoon, but didn't get one?"
"Sure," Fred shrugged.
"How does breaking into Hogwarts and killing Alecto and Amycus Carrow sound?"
Fred's brows went high on his forehead. "You want to break into Hogwarts to kill the Headmaster?"
"Yep."
"Brilliant. I'll get the others, shall I?"
Sev groaned, but he had other things to take care of. It wasn't ideal, both of them having to work on different missions, but Harry was ready to get on with ending the odd war he found himself in.
*****
Neville,
Is it stupid to say I'm proud of you? Because I am.
I think you used to be timid and a bit scared of your own shadow, but now you're the kind of bloke who goes out of your way to take care of others even if it's a tough situation.
I've always known that you were the person to rely on in a crisis, and I'm relying on you to handle all the emotional shit and planning when I'm gone.
I'm also trusting you to do me one last favor; in the attic crawl space above the blanket cupboard is my headstone. Can you add the date I died to it without fucking with the rest of it? I'd ask Sev, but I think he'll be upset and I know you're always pretty calm.
I'm leaving you my black handgun. I added a red dot to the trigger so you know which gun. I killed Bellatrix with it and I hope you use it to kill anyone who fucks with you guys in the future.
I'm glad we were allies.
I'm glad we were friends.
Love,
Harry