The Lannisters had all been settled at their table. Theirs was by the left of the married couple, with Trystan the closest to Joffrey. By his left was Visenya, followed by Tywin, Cersei, Tommen, and Tyrion, and last was Sansa.
Across from them was the table of the Tyrells where Loras, Mace, and Olenna were seated; and of course, the main Head Table that was occupied only by Margaery and Joffrey.
Eventually, the boy-king stood up and knocked his fork a few times against his goblet; earning the attention of the audience.
"Everyone, silence!" he shouted, earning the attention of everyone. "Clear the floor. There's been too much amusement here today. A royal wedding is not an amusement. A royal wedding is history. The time has come for all of us to contemplate our history." He said and smirked, extending one hand towards the huge wooden Lion Head across from the three main tables. "My lords..." servants turned a lever and the mouth of the lion opened. "My ladies..." a red carpet started to be unrolled from within the mouth of the lion. Tywin & Visenya exchanged a look, clearly not aware of what was about to come next. "l give you. King Joffrey... Renly, Stannis, Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy. The War of the Five Kings."
Five dwarves came down from the lion's mouth, each dressed as one of the five kings. They run about, playing their roles with comic glee and earning the applause of the crowd along with their laughter.
Many clapped, Tywin out of mannerism but Visenya refused to. Her eyes narrowed in displeasure, clearly not enjoying how the war they fought was put up as a comic relief with dwarves nonetheless.
She glanced at Tyrion, who was far from pleased as Joffrey laughed and enjoyed the show.
The actors ran around between the tables, one dwarf with a prop even managed to hit Varys on the back of his head; displeasing the eunuch who had to remain silent. By his side, Pycelle was enjoying the show.
The dwarf actor portraying Renly moved in front of the Head Table. "I'm the rightful king." He said, earning passive glares from Loras from the Tyrell table, who did not enjoy seeing the mockery of his former lover.
"King in the North!" the dwarf playing Robb shouted, around his body the fake mount of a wolf was held by his one hand in order not to fall on the floor.
At least there was a dwarf of Joffrey, which was the only comical thing some could enjoy. Of course, Joffrey was never part of the War and thus he had no true reason to be represented. Visenya knew that and she showed her displeasure by the way her lips turned into a frown while Trystan seemed ready to snarl based on the sour expression he had on his face.
None of the two tried to hide their displeasure, but no one cared, everyone was too busy enjoying the show and laughing... almost everyone.
"Traitor. You're a traitor," a dwarf dressed as Balon Greyjoy shouted.
"For the Seven Kingdoms!" Joffrey dwarf shouted, and then they all lined up on the stage. "Let the war begin."
The crowd applauded and the first actor to start was the Renly pretender. He started to prance about the stage, 'riding' some sort of doll that was meant to represent Loras.
"Renly, you're no king," Dwarf Stannis shouted, riding the red priestess that he had hired to work for him.
Balon dwarf, supposedly riding the Kraken, lifted his fake weapon.
"Away, degenerate. Away. Away."
Then 'Stannis' started to chase 'Renly' to the point that the fake younger Baratheon was shouting like a lady. The attacks were harmless but became overdramatic just for the laughter of the people.
"Ooh, careful."
"Go on."
"I want you to be my prince. Stannis!"
The acting continued and if one looked at the three Royal tables, they would see that only Joffrey was enjoying the show. Even Cersei seemed to get tired of this mockery. Visenya and Trystan were not hiding how displeased they were, and the Dragoness even glanced at the Tyrell table.
She locked eyes with Olenna, who shifted uncomfortably on her chair. Even Lord Mace seemed not to enjoy it, and one should not bring up Margaery, who tried her best not to get up but was wishing she could.
Eventually, the older women looked at Loras. Because the two dwarves had started to feign some indecent acts, it caused him to stand up and leave; his face not hiding his disgust on the matter.
Olenna and Visenya looked at each other again, with no hesitation in their eyes and instead, more determination seemed to exist. That 'show' that was unfolding in front of them was exactly what they needed to know that they had to do what had to be done.
"Who's got the gold now, Stark?" Balon dwarf shouted and faced dwarf Robb in combat.
"I am the rightful king," Fake Robb said.
"Challenge me, ruffian."
"Take that."
Eventually, dwarf Balon fell to the side.
"I'm drowning. I'm drowning."
"I am the King in the North!" the Robb dwarf shouted, not amusing Sansa or Tyrion.
Even Tywin seemed displeased by the mockery of his opponent that had made this war hard for him but still did not deserve such a ridiculous performance. He glanced at his son and then at his wife, both having rather matching expressions on their faces.
He did not bother to correct them, deciding to let them just this once because it would be hard for anyone to keep a straight face; especially one that had been in the War of the Five Kings.
The crowd was made up of royals, court ladies, Lords Paramount and everyone else, who had no taste in combat or battle. All they knew, mostly, were the riches of their houses and the boring simple lives they lived in their respective castles and houses. They were the ones laughing and enjoying the show, while even some Lannister soldiers and even Jaime were looking with an annoyed or even disgusted expression.
War was war and there was no place for mockery in it, especially of such scale.
Joffrey Dwarf shot an arrow and hit Stannis Dwarf in the chest.
"Not wildfire!" fake Stannis shouted and ran off the stage, 'crying' while the crowd cheered and clapped.
Eventually, the only two dwarf kings left were Joffrey and Robb, who were about to have a standoff.
They ran past one another without landing a blow and repeated it two more times. By the third charge, Joffrey Dwarf knocked Dwarf Robb's wolf helmet off. However, beneath it there was not a head but some sort of costume to make it look like the head was missing.
"Your head!" Dwarf Joffrey shouted, the crowd cheering and laughing even more as the actor marched around the stage victorious.
Sansa watched mortified, her skin paler and just stood there as a mere statue; barely blinking or moving. Trystan watched her, worry quickly evident all over his face but there were too many people as obstacles and he could not stand up to check upon her.
Please remain strong, Sansa. Just a little bit longer, he prayed in his mind.
Visenya's lips had parted as she was reminded of what she had caused. She barely had to glance at Sansa to suspect how the girl was feeling at the moment. Her eyes were also glued to the stage, her heartbeat increasing and echoing in her ears.
She tried to look away, to focus on something else and caught the gaze of Oberyn from one of the tables across the stage.
He was not happy, having seen how Sansa was feeling and considering she was just a kid... He eventually looked back at Visenya, seeing how hard she tried to focus and keep her mask on but her eyes were betraying her. Oberyn could see guilt drowning her silently, anger and self-hatred, all evident if one looked at her amber eyes.
Tywin noticed and placed his hand upon hers on the table, very subtly; only to feel the same burning sensation he did during the Small Council, if not extended.
He leaned faintly, bringing his lips closer to her ear.
"Focus," he told her in a whispering tone. "You are burning up again."
This seemed to make her snap out of it as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel hotter despite the light material of the dress and it took her a few deep breaths to get more control and open her eyes.
What is happening to me? she questioned as she tried to focus on her breathing and not on the Joffrey dwarf feigning that he sodomized the wolf head.
Thankfully for her, Trystan seemed to have noticed something was odd and he placed his hand on her other wrist. He felt the warm skin that seemed to be way hotter than usual, but he kept his hand there. He was not sure what was happening or why his mother seemed so upset by the show, but he did not question it. He hated seeing both her and Sansa affected, all because that little psychopath had such a twisted sense of humour that even the Stranger would feel repulsed.
Finally, the show was over and all the dwarves lined up to bow first to the crowd and then to their King and Queen.
Joffrey stood up, clearly having enjoyed the show to the point that he had to spit his wine while drinking it.
"Well fought. Well fought. Here you are. Champion's purse." He said and held a red velvet purse filled with coins. However, he did not throw it to the actors. "Though you're not the champion yet, are you? A true champion defeats all the challengers. Surely there are others out there who still dare to challenge my reign." He said and looked around before his attention focused on Tyrion. "Uncle. How about you? I'm sure they have a spare costume."
This caused the crowd to laugh and Visenya, who had managed to regain her focus; tightened her jaw but did not let anything else show. "l am fine" she said under her breath and withdrew her hands or at least tried because Tywin had hers pinned on the table, clearly not believing her and he was not going to risk it.
Tyrion, who had seen enough stood up. However, he did not move from his place nor did he dare to see the motionless sitting Sansa by his side. The boy had crossed the line and he was about to make it known, not caring how much his father would glare at him.
"One taste of combat was enough for me, Your Grace. I would like to keep what remains of my face." He started, making the crowd laugh at his words. "l think you should fight him. This was but a poor imitation of your bravery on the field of battle. I speak as a firsthand witness. Climb down from the high table with your new Valyrian sword and show everyone how a true king wins his throne" he said with quite a passive face and such a serious tone that Joffrey had to look at Margaery subconsciously; thinking he was hearing things but alas he wasn't.
The crowd seemed to pay attention to Tyrion, some even laughing as Joffrey remained standing and lost.
Yet, the uncle of the King was not done. "Be careful, though. This one is clearly mad with lust. It would be a tragedy for the king to lose his virtue hours before his wedding night." He said and sat down as the crowd started laughing again.
However, they all went quiet as the sharp gaze of the boy-king was thrown their way. He was mad and it was evident, his tongue clicking behind his white teeth as he his temper was getting the best of him. He grabbed his goblet and headed towards his dwarf uncle, before pouring his wine all over his head.
The movement made Sansa unfreeze and look the other way while even Tommen looked at his lap, not sure what to do.
Trystan glared daggers at Joffrey, being so close to jumping off his chair and pouring his own wine on the boy's head but he remained seated; after his father sent him a sharp glare.
Visenya had remained quiet, barely having moved her head to look at the sight, but she tried not to since she knew her temper would flare. She was not the only one, as many from the crowd looked the other way, clearly not enjoying what was happening at the moment.
Tyrion remained calm and simply wiped some of the wine from his face before tasting it.
"A fine vintage. Shame that it spilled," he said, not giving Joffrey the satisfaction of reacting to his poor excuse for an insult.
"It did not spill," Joffrey argued, clearly not having calmed down his temper yet.
Margaery, who had finally seen Joffrey's true colours, chose to interfere. She extended one hand, waving it in a 'come to me' motion.
"My love, come back to me," she said in the most innocent voice, hiding any signs of her displeasure, disgust, and anything else the performance and Joffrey's character caused her.
"It's time for my father's toast."
Joffrey started to walk towards her, but he was not going to give it up since he had been insulted so openly by his uncle. At the same time, the dwarves started to walk back into the Lion's mouth since the performance was done.
"Well, how does he expect me to toast without wine?" Joffrey asked his wine a rhetorical question and then an idea popped into his mind.
"Uncle, you can be my cup-bearer seeing as you're too cowardly to fight."
"Your Grace does me a great honour," Tyrion said, eyes looking forward while Sansa was passively glaring at the boy-king.
"It's not meant as an honour," Joffrey miffed.
There was this half-minute staring contest between them, with the dwarf clearly wishing his nephew dead, but none said anything else. Instead, Tyrion stood up and started to walk around the table and towards him.
However, Joffrey dropped the goblet on purpose a second before Tyrion could take it from him. Then, when his uncle bent to pick it up, he kicked it away and somehow the goblet ended up rolling under the table; close to Sansa's feet.
"Bring me my goblet," Joffrey ordered, enjoying humiliating him.
Left with no choice, Tyrion knelt and crawled beneath the table until Sansa had enough. She bent and picked it up before presenting it to Tyrion, who had noticed her movement under the table.
She said nothing as she handed him the goblet, but could see the glances given to her by the rest of the Lions. Cersei was glaring at her, Tywin was indifferent, but Trystan and Visenya were thankful for her interference and her help; even if it was something this small.
Tyrion brought his goblet to Joffrey, but the boy king was not over yet.
"What good is an empty cup? Fill it," he ordered, enjoying messing and ordering his uncle around.
The imp grabbed the jug placed in front of his sister, paying no mind to her smug expression since she was clearly enjoying the show. He filled the goblet with wine and then extended his hand, handing it to his 'King.'
Of course, nothing was easy and Joffrey simply was having too much fun to let it all end so subtly.
"Kneel," he ordered, but Tyrion did not move, instead looked up at him and silently glared.
"Kneel before your king."
He did not budge and barely blinked as he passively challenged the boy to try and make him.
"Kneel. I said... kneel!"
Visenya was watching in silence, but her jaw was so tense, she could feel it getting numb and even a mild annoyance coming from her teeth pressed too tightly against one another.
She tried to move her hand and free it from Tywin's grip, but he only increased the pressure.
Do something or I will, her serious expression said as she looked in his direction; tired of all of this.
Do not chase your luck, Tywin's look was telling her, a warning side glance was all he did.
He did not enjoy seeing a Lannister being publicly humiliated like that, but it was Tyrion and he chose to make an exception. Perhaps in the past, he might have interfered, but after he openly accused his good-mother and even dared to say that he raped her, Tywin had lost all respect for his dwarf son.
Visenya could keep her soft spot for him, but he was done and he was not going to interfere, since Tyrion deserved a lesson and this seemed to be the best of it.