T/N: Huge shout out and thank you for marcus bruguera for giving me your support, I really appreciate it, thank you.
Chapter 41
Seeing Ruan Mei's shattered expression, Yu Qingtu knew she stood on the brink of collapse.
She even had one foot already stepping off the edge of the cliff called madness.
Years ago, Yu Qingtu had already reached her own conclusion.
If Ruan Mei felt nothing for Tomomu Kanzaki, then so be it.
But if she did, then everything Tomomu Kanzaki had left behind would become the most terrifying punishment for her. No, punishment was not quite the right word.
To be precise, it was fate's retribution for Ruan Mei's past actions.
Seeing her expression now, the breath Yu Qingtu had been holding for hundreds of years finally eased a little.
However, she felt no joy or satisfaction.
In the matter of Tomomu Kanzaki letting go of the mortal world and departing in peace, all three people present were losers.
Right and wrong had long lost their meaning at this point.
Even if she knew she was wrong, even if regret burned through her heart, could she bring Tomomu Kanzaki back?
She could not.
For hundreds of years, Yu Qingtu had also believed she could rely on time to smooth away all regrets, just as she had before.
But in the end, that person's face remained as clear as if it were yesterday.
In this world, some people and some things are destined to be unforgettable and impossible to let go.
Ruan Mei slowly stood up, passed the two of them, and walked toward the path down the mountain.
"What do you want to do?"
The moment she noticed something in Ruan Mei's expression, Yu Qingtu's face changed.
"I said I would take responsibility for Tomomu Kanzaki, but I failed to keep that promise. I am going to find him and bring him back."
The corners of Ruan Mei's lips curled up in an abnormal smile that carried a disturbing, eerie quality.
She was willing to pay any price.
The other two immediately guessed her intention without needing to think.
Black Swan only frowned deeply, her reaction still somewhat restrained.
Yu Qingtu was far less restrained. Her expression changed almost instantly.
"Do you want to keep going down this insane path!"
"What you wanted to do before was your own family matter, and as an outsider I had no right to interfere."
"But Tomomu Kanzaki calls me Senior. I will absolutely not stand by and watch, nor can I tolerate you tampering with him. You had better give up on this idea right now."
Ruan Mei's steps paused.
She did not look back or respond. Her slumped shoulders and lonely silhouette radiated deep desolation.
Yu Qingtu's voice turned cold and hard.
"When a person is dead, they are dead. That is reality."
"I don't know what you're thinking, but don't you understand what Tomomu Kanzaki thought?"
"A life compiled from numbers, data, and sequences, even if it possesses all the memories of the deceased, even if it is a perfect replica with no visible difference, is still an empty shell without a soul. Why don't you understand this yet?"
"Why does the creation Tomomu Kanzaki left behind look identical to him, yet refer to itself as I and call its creator by name?"
At this point, Yu Qingtu raised her hand and pointed toward the distant plum tree.
The puppet was still picking plum blossoms.
"That was all for you to see. He wanted to tell you that no matter how identical the appearance is, it is not the original him."
"You want to use the method you are currently studying to find your parents and find Tomomu Kanzaki. It is a task destined to be impossible."
"Even if you truly reach the end of this path in the future, what you get will forever be a fake. In essence, it is nothing more than a pathetic electronic pet."
"A dead soul will not return unless Finality reverses time, or unless Tomomu Kanzaki has a next life."
Sentence after sentence struck like sharp thorns, mercilessly piercing into the depths of Ruan Mei's heart.
She remained silent for a long time, then finally looked up slightly toward the sky.
The winter sunlight was rare and clear, yet she could not feel even a trace of warmth.
Tomomu Kanzaki back then must have felt the same way.
Ruan Mei turned around again.
"What?" Yu Qingtu stared at her face, seemingly confirming something.
"As Member 55 of the Genius Society, can you answer a question for me?" Ruan Mei asked in a hoarse voice.
"Go ahead."
"What is the original essence of life, and what is the essence of birth?"
"There are many answers, but none are universally recognized. If I knew, I would not be a mere genius. Perhaps only Nous can answer that."
"I see."
Ruan Mei nodded silently, said nothing more, and walked toward the working puppet.
Black Swan narrowed her eyes and continued to remain silent.
Yu Qingtu's words just now had struck a chord in her heart.
Now, as a Memokeeper of the Garden of Recollection who had grown for hundreds of years, she could easily resurrect him using Tomomu Kanzaki's memories if she wanted to.
But would the Tomomu Kanzaki resurrected through this method still be the real Tomomu Kanzaki?
The answer in her heart had always been firm.
No.
No matter what, he would not be.
That was just a selfish and foolish delusion, a desecration of Tomomu Kanzaki.
Many guesses flashed through Yu Qingtu's mind, but she did not stop Ruan Mei, only following a few steps behind.
The puppet noticed the movement and turned its head. That face was still expressionless.
"Ms. Ruan Mei, what are your orders?"
Ruan Mei understood that Yu Qingtu's words were not wrong.
No matter how similar the appearance, it was just a fake.
It would not call her Teacher.
Even if it did, she would only feel uncomfortable in her heart.
She finally personally experienced how Yu Qingtu had felt when she first saw the fake Ruan Mei had made back then.
"In your meta-instructions, how much authority do my commands have?" Ruan Mei asked.
"Highest level," the puppet replied.
Two simple words, yet they caused different emotions in the three women.
Black Swan had the memories of Tomomu Kanzaki's entire life and was well aware of this, so she remained calm.
Yu Qingtu sighed.
And for Ruan Mei, it was no different from another stab to the heart.
"Abort the execution of the instructions left by Tomomu Kanzaki, and shut down immediately."
"Understood. Protocol modification command passed. Beginning execution."
The puppet put down all the items in its hands. The light in its eyes quickly dimmed, and it maintained a standard standing posture, motionless.
Seeing this scene, Yu Qingtu breathed a slight sigh of relief.
"Do you understand now?"
"It is not him," Ruan Mei said softly.
"It's good that you understand. Put it away, although I don't want to give it to you."
Yu Qingtu had to admit that Tomomu Kanzaki had made this puppet primarily for Ruan Mei.
Who held the highest-level authority had already explained everything.
But now, she would no longer feel unhappy about it.
How much Tomomu Kanzaki used to care for Ruan Mei, treating her as the light of his life and respecting her through his actions, was exactly how much Ruan Mei regretted her past self now.
The bitter fruit today was both a punishment and retribution for her.
Ruan Mei put the puppet away and slowly looked around this plum forest, as if she wanted to engrave every silhouette Tomomu Kanzaki had left here over the past hundred years into her eyes.
This feeling could have become a memory, but even then, it was already a sense of loss.
Her Tomomu Kanzaki was no longer here and never would be again.
Before leaving, Ruan Mei's gaze fell on Black Swan and Yu Qingtu.
"I won't use that method to find him, but I won't give up."
Black Swan was noncommittal and only asked a question in return.
"If Tomomu Kanzaki has already forgotten you, what will you do then?"
"That will be my business."
Ruan Mei's eyes filled with painful tears, and she smiled faintly. This time her smile was no longer eerie, only filled with deep desolation.