After the train disappeared…I didn't know what to do.
I turned back—
"Huh…?"
The conductor was standing right in front of me.
Very close.
"W-What?!"
My heart almost stopped.
"Do you want to give me a heart attack?!" I said, stepping back.
He looked at me calmly.
"Little boy… I have no intention of giving you a heart attack."
A small pause.
"If I did, I would have done it properly."
"...That's not funny."
"I wasn't trying to be."
Who are you…?" I asked.
"What are you?"
He sighed softly.
"Oh my… so many questions."
He looked at me.
"I will answer them. One by one."
A pause.
"But this is not the time."
"Why not now?!"
"And… I'm not a little boy. I'm seventeen."
"Oh," he said.
"So you are only one year younger than me."
A small smile appeared.
"Still a child."
Before I could react—
He gently touched my hair.
"...Why does everyone treat me like a kid…?" I muttered.
"Because you behave like one," he replied.
"Little boy."
"What now…?"
Look at the building....
It is your old school from Osaka right..
I turned back slowly.....right it is.
"Your voice became quieter," he said.
I didn't reply.
"I know," he continued softly,
"You have gone through many things."
"Not just you…"
"Everyone carries something."
"Pain… fear… memories…"
A pause.
"Some are beautiful."
"Some are not."
His voice was calm.
But something in it felt… heavy.
"They hide it in their hearts."
"And the more they hide it… the more it hurts."
I looked at him.
For a moment—
His eyes felt different.
Sad.
Like he wasn't just talking about me.
Little boy…"
He looked back at me.
"Not facing your fear…"
"Not trying to overcome it…"
A pause.
"That is worse."
"...Am I right?"
I looked down.
"...Yes."
"But I don't have the courage."
"I tried… many times."
"But I overthink everything."
"I get nervous when talking to people…"
"They bully me… tease me…"
"And I still stay quiet…"
My voice dropped.
"Why am I like this…?"
You know, I was completely the opposite of you , or maybe a bit same too...i usually get angry easily and always gets involved in fights...I wasn't a bad person..i am actually gentle and calm and rarely smiles...the other kids....They used to trouble me a lot because I was an orphan but I could not tolerate their actions and that is why we used to fight...
And whenever I return to the orphanage and....
And??..
He looked at me.
"The rest of the story…"
A small pause.
"You will hear it later."
"...That's unfair."
He stepped closer.
Then slowly raised his hand toward me.
"So… my name is Ken."
His voice was calm.
Gentle.
For a moment…
I didn't feel like he was a stranger.
The wind passed softly between us.
Everything felt quiet.
Strangely peaceful.
He adjusted his cap slightly.
"Now… it is time to go."
"Wait—what?"
"Goodbye."
"Hey—!"
In the next moment—
Everything changed.
I was standing in front of my house.
My hand still slightly raised.
Like nothing had moved…
but everything had changed.
"...It wasn't a dream…"
Everything really happened.
I checked the time.
"3:00 AM…?"
"...Great."
"Only four hours of sleep."
I was too tired.
I fell onto my bed—
still in my uniform—
and fell asleep instantly.
The next morning—
I woke up late.
"Ahh—why does this always happen?!"
I rushed to get ready.
No breakfast.
No dinner from last night either.
"...I'm going to collapse one day."
Somehow—
I made it to school.
While walking to class—
I bumped into someone.
"Ah—sorry! Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said.
His voice was gentle.
Familiar.
He was wearing a cap.
I couldn't see his face clearly.
His hair reached his shoulders.
There was a wrap around his hand.
"...Have I seen him before?"
The bell rang.
"Ah—I'm late!"
"Sorry, I have to go!"
I ran toward my class.
"You are just in time, Ikari," the teacher said.
"But come earlier next time."
"Yes, ma'am."
I quickly sat in my seat.
"Everyone, listen."
"There is one more new student joining today."
The class became quiet.
Footsteps.
"He's here."
"Come in and introduce yourself."
Hmm?..he is the same boy I meet when I was coming to my classroom...
He walked in calmly.
Then slightly lifted his cap.
His face became visible.
Those eyes—
The same beautiful eyes.
He looked at me.
And smiled.
"No way"..my eyes widened....
The class started whispering—
"He's so handsome…"
"Yeah… seriously…"
But I couldn't hear them properly.
My mind went blank.
"...Ken?"
Chapter 4—My Deskmate