I went to the office on Monday morning feeling refreshed, a sensation I had not experienced in weeks. The morning air was crisp and clean as I walked from the subway station to the office building, the familiar rhythm of the city waking up around me providing a comforting backdrop. Commuters rushed past with their coffee cups and briefcases, street vendors were setting up their stalls, and somewhere in the distance, a bus honked its horn in the morning traffic.
I felt lighter. The weight that had been pressing down on my chest since the night I discovered the truth about Bingqing had finally begun to lift. It was not gone entirely—some scars would take time to heal—but it no longer felt like I was drowning.
Yesterday, I slept until noon again. When I woke, Yan Lin was still in my arms, her body warm and soft against mine, her breath slow and even. The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft golden glow across her face, and for a long moment, I simply lay there, watching her sleep. She looked peaceful, so beautiful and mesmerizing. The sharp edges of her personality softened, the mischievous glint in her eyes hidden behind closed lids.
When she finally stirred and opened her eyes, she smiled at me with a warmth that made my chest ache. We made love on the bed—slow, tender, romantic. There were no drugs involved, no videos playing in the background, no dark whispers or twisted games. It was just two people, connected in the most intimate way, moving together in a rhythm. It felt natural and right. It was the most normal sex we'd had so far.
Afterward, we showered together, the warm water washing away the evidence of the night before. She made lunch while I sat at the small table in my new apartment, watching her move around the kitchen with ease. We ate together, talked about nothing in particular, and laughed at small jokes.
At around three in the afternoon, she finally had to leave. Her bar needed her attention, and she had responsibilities that could not wait. She left with her bag slung over her shoulder, her expression carrying a reluctance and longing that she did not bother to hide.
She kissed me at the doorstep, long and deep, and then she was gone.
***********
The pen drive was still on the coffee table where she had left it. That night, we could not finish watching all the videos. She had told me I could watch the remaining videos if I wanted to. But I did not reach for it.
What was the point? I had seen enough. I had heard Bingqing tell Sun that she loved him, had watched her offer herself to him completely and without reservation. I had witnessed them make love with a passion and tenderness that she had not shown me for a long time. There was nothing left to learn, nothing left to discover.
If I hadn't met Yan Lin, I would still be broken, while she would be happily enjoying her new life.
Of course, there was now a dark part of me that Yan Lin had awakened, a twisted corner of my psyche that found a strange pleasure in watching my ex-wife being taken by another man. I could not deny that. But that part of me only came alive when Yan Lin was beside me, her hand on my shaft, her voice whispering dark encouragement in my ear.
Watching those videos alone, with only my own hand for company—that held no appeal.
***********
Lunchtime arrived, and I made my way to the office cafeteria. I had just settled at a table with my tray when I heard my name being called.
"Wuji!"
I looked up to see Chen Hao approaching. Behind him, Yue Mengli followed at a more measured pace, a tray in her hands, her eyes immediately finding mine.
They sat down across from me, and Hao studied my face with an intensity that made me slightly uncomfortable.
"You look happy," he said, his voice carrying a note of surprise. "Lighter. Like a burden has finally lifted from your shoulders. Like something good has happened to you."
I shrugged, unable to suppress the smile that spread across my face. "Is that so strange?"
Yue Mengli was looking at me with a different expression. There was unease in her eyes, her gaze searching as though she were trying to uncover something hidden beneath my smile.
It was as if she sensed that something had gone terribly wrong—as if something she had waited so long for was slipping away once again.
We talked about small matters—office gossip, a project that was due at the end of the week, the terrible coffee that the cafeteria served. I made small jokes, and they laughed, but I could see that their laughter was forced. Meanwhile, my smile was genuine. Funny.
Finally, they couldn't hold back any longer. They exchanged a glance before Hao spoke, his expression serious.
"Ummm… you know, Wuji… about your situation. I mean, your marriage. Have you two reconciled?"
There was a strain in his voice, a tension that he was trying and failing to hide. I could see that he was genuinely concerned, that he was afraid of how I might react to his question.
I shook my head, amused. "Why would you think I'd reconcile with her after everything that's happened?" My voice carried a teasing, playful note.
They exchanged another glance, their discomfort palpable.
"No, I mean... you look lighter. Happy. So... so we thought maybe you had forgiven her and decided to leave the past behind." Hao's voice had grown soft, as though he was afraid of hurting me with his words.
I leaned back in my chair, still smiling. "So, just because she's gone, I don't deserve to be happy? I can't be happy? Is that it? Is the only way I can be happy to reconcile with her?"
Yue Mengli jumped in before Hao could respond. "That is not what he meant, Wuji. You know that. We are your friends. And we are worried about you."
I looked at her, my eyes instinctively softened. Her voice was gentle, carrying a warmth that lessened my teasing mood. I stopped smiling and nodded, letting the playfulness drop.
"I told the lawyer to file three days ago," I said. "He said she should receive the papers in another ten to twelve days."
Hao let out a breath that he seemed to have been holding, his shoulders relaxing with visible relief.
Yue Mengli's eyes lit up for a brief moment before she quickly masked it. But I had seen it—the flicker of happiness, the trace of worry vanishing from her face. She was glad that I was not going back to my cheating wife.
"So what will you do now?" Hao asked, his confidence returning now that his fears had been put to rest.
I shrugged. "I will take it slow. I already rented a new apartment and moved in. As for other matters... I will face them as they come."
They both nodded in approval.
Then Hao's face lit up with an idea. "You rented a new apartment? Are you not going to throw a housewarming party?"
Before I could respond, Yue Mengli cut in, her voice carrying a note of exasperation. "Hao, are you stupid? If Wuji throws a housewarming party, the whole office will know that he has moved out of his old house and is in the process of divorcing his wife."
Hao's face fell, embarrassment spreading across his features. "Ah, sorry, sorry. I didn't think it through."
"It is okay," I said, waving off his apology. "I cannot throw a housewarming party. But if you two want, you can come over for dinner sometime. A small gathering. Just us." I looked at Hao. "You can bring sister-in-law as well."
Hao slapped his thigh with enthusiasm. "Alrighty! Just fix a date and tell us. We will be there."
I turned to Yue Mengli. Her beautiful eyes were fixed on me, her expression unreadable. She nodded once, a small, almost imperceptible movement.
"All right, then," I said. "I'll pick a date and let you know as soon as possible."
***********
Actually, I could have set the date for the following Saturday night. But I hesitated. Because part of me was afraid, while another part was secretly hoping Yan Lin would visit me for another weekend. Ahem.
And I did not want her to meet Yue Mengli. Not until I understood what was happening between us.
The truth was, I was uncertain about Yan Lin. About us. About what we were to each other.
What was our relationship actually? I did not know.
I liked her. Very much so. She was beautiful, with a body that drove me wild and a mind that fascinated and terrified me in equal measure. She was considerate, clever, rich, powerful, sexy and the list went on. On paper, she was everything a man could want.
But there was a darkness in her that I was only beginning to understand. The way she had orchestrated the entire night with the videos, the drugs, the manipulation—it was deeply unsettling.
She spoke of training me, of reshaping my desires, of leading me into a world of twisted pleasures that I was not sure I wanted to inhabit.
And then there was the foursome. She had brought it up a couple of times. I was not stupid. She was clearly giving me a subtle message about herself. She seemed to have some feelings for me.
But I felt that, to her, lust mattered more than I did. I had seen her eyes carrying that hunger when she looked at Sun on the screen. The way she craved other people's cock, was a warning sign.
Could she stay loyal in the long run? I did not think so. She was too wild, too hungry for novelty and excitement. Eventually, she would grow bored with me and the simple life I wanted to build. And I would be left broken again.
Compared to her, Yue Mengli was stable. She might not have Yan Lin's striking beauty or Bingqing's voluptuous figure, but she was still very attractive in her own way. There was a gentleness to her, a warmth that I found myself drawn to.
I had been attracted to her even before my marriage ended, though I had never taken those feelings seriously. It was a quiet, unspoken attraction I had never allowed myself to explore because I was committed to Bingqing. But that commitment was gone now, and the possibility was there.
If Yan Lin and I could not become exclusive, and if Yue Mengli would have me... I would like to give it a try.
Yes, Yan Lin was exciting. She was a great fuck, a thrilling adventure.
But deep down, I was a simple man. I wanted stability, a quiet life, and someone who would be content with what I could offer. If Yan Lin could not give me that—if she craved the chaos and the darkness too much—then we were not suitable for each other.
So I would take my time. I would observe Yan Lin, see if she could be content with me, if she truly wanted to be with me. At the same time, I would test the waters with Yue Mengli, see if there was a connection worth pursuing.
It might not be fair to either of them. But after what I had been through, I could not afford to take chances. I would not jump into another relationship blindly. I would not repeat the mistakes of my past.
I needed to be sure—completely, absolutely sure—before I gave my heart to anyone again.