In the lazy quiet of the afternoon, Chiose held Kyoumoto close and drifted into a deep sleep.
She needed the rest more than anything.
When she woke, Chiose slipped alone into the bathroom. She stared at her reflection — her hair, no longer grey, and her eyes, shifted from ashen-red to a vivid, full crimson — and stood there for a long moment without a single word to say.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur, split between staring at nothing and holding her little sister.
Her pale hands moved gently over Kyoumoto's warm, downy head. Kyoumoto couldn't see a thing, but she was remarkably skilled at weaponizing her big eyes for maximum cuteness.
She kept leaning in close to Chiose's face, blinking up at her in a silent, irresistible plea for head pats.
The little one hadn't been held by her big sister in a long time either. When Chiose ruffled her hair, she made a low, rumbling sound — exactly like a purring cat.
"Mm——"
My little sister really is the most adorable thing in the world. Just like…
A brief light flickered through Chiose's eyes.
Just like Tomori.
[But your Tomori is a fake, isn't she. The only real one is your sister, Haizuka Kyoumoto.]
[How did you find your first simulation?]
The system's cold voice cut in without warning — carrying a kind of beauty in how thoroughly it ignored anyone else's wellbeing.
Was that really something you needed to say?! System! You talk like a homeroom teacher interrogating a student with bad grades!
[I feel… terrible, System… Why did you guide me toward doing that at the end?]
[Host's question is quite interesting. However, this System would like to clarify: every choice was yours and yours alone.]
[...]
She had nothing to say to that, because the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like the truth.
The System was a needle that slipped through every crack — always finding Chiose's soft spots and sliding straight in.
It had looked after Kyoumoto in her absence, even taking on a human form to do it. A little presumptuous, but Chiose was certain the System had done it purely to keep a grip on her weaknesses.
[Follow-up question: in what areas does Host feel this simulation could be improved?]
Improved… can you even call it that?!
What it was really asking was: where wasn't she cruel enough? Which parts of the torment could have been designed with a little more artistry?!
[I… the way I died at the end wasn't really… perfect? It was too rushed. The whole thing was riddled with sloppy, half-finished flaws…]
[Heh.]
The System let out a sound that was something between a laugh and encouragement.
[You're new. Perfectly normal. This System hopes Host will do better going forward — put in genuine effort and produce some real results. Let's not have a repeat of this time: six years of simulation in exchange for only one year of added lifespan.]
"..."
Yes, yes, I know. Only one year for six years of simulation — terribly sorry about that.
[Host should always remember: the simulation is a simulation. Characters within it cannot experience real pain. Please do not waste emotional energy on simulated figures.]
"..."
Easy enough to say out loud to fool herself. But in reality…
[Yet, Host — when you chose to crush yourself at the end, was your only feeling truly guilt over Takamatsu Tomori?]
???
What do you mean by that?!
[You can't fool yourself. You felt relief too, didn't you. Maybe even something close to joy.]
No! Joy would be a massive exaggeration.
Noshiro Chiose pulled Kyoumoto tighter against her. Only her sister's warmth could mend the small, fracturing heart inside her chest.
[You'll need to get used to it. If you still want to live.]
Get used to it…
Noshiro Chiose had once heard a theory — roughly, that if you do something wrong once, you'll end up repeating it infinitely; that in this world, the only real quantities are zero and infinity.
And today, at noon, she had broken through that threshold. Which meant that from here on out, she would become the kind of awful woman she despised — over and over and over again.
But… the virtual was only virtual.
The virtual wasn't real. Like playing a video game — no need to hold it in too much reverence…
Chiose watched Kyoumoto drifting in and out of sleep. A smile rested on the little one's face — a smile that Chiose knew, with absolute certainty, was the kind of treasure she wanted to spend her whole life looking at.
To keep living, did she have to make her peace with all of this?
If she ran another simulation next time, could she do better?
Maybe… Maybe she should have gone in with a different mindset from the very beginning. This wasn't about living through a life. It was just… work?
...
The cooldown between simulations was one day.
But the countdown timer only began from the second simulation onward — which meant the first simulation had been nothing more than a tutorial run for beginners.
It also meant that before school started, Noshiro Chiose still had over a week to run simulations and pick up part-time work.
Her previous job had taken her a long time to find. Losing it after she collapsed and was hospitalized had been a real blow — that hard-won, thankless job, gone just like that.
"Maybe I could ask Miss Toyokawa next door. She might be able to point me toward something."
"Hm? Sis, who are you talking to?"
"Nothing, my sweet little Kyo. Your big sister is just figuring out how to keep food on the table."
"Oh… Sis works so hard. Hug for Sis."
"Yes please. Much appreciated."
Before bed, as always, she needed to put medicated eye drops in for Kyoumoto. The System had, for once, done something vaguely decent — when it sent someone with food, it had also included a supply of those drops.
What was this supposed to be? A subsidy for a family with special circumstances, to keep its host more invested in the simulations?
The light inside was dim. Only the small night-light — battery running low — cast a warm orange glow across the side of Chiose's face.
Little Kyoumoto was still just a child. She'd never had many friends, not as far back as Chiose could remember. After their parents passed, it had always been Chiose who raised her.
The time she spent away from Kyoumoto — those were, without question, the hardest days in the world to endure.
At quarter past ten the lamp went out. Kyoumoto had already fallen asleep. Chiose lay against the headboard with her little sister in her arms.
[Remaining simulations for today: 1]
This… should she press it tonight, or wait until tomorrow?
If she ran another simulation today, Chiose was fairly sure she'd lose her mind.
"I'm sorry… Tomori."
She was still murmuring to herself as she closed her eyes, as if speaking to the moon outside the window.
If a Takamatsu Tomori existed somewhere in the real world too, then Noshiro Chiose would absolutely want to…
"No — even if she did exist, what footing would I even have to approach her on? In what capacity?"
Even if Takamatsu Tomori were real, she would be nothing more than a stranger.
Chiose's lashes trembled.
"Tomorrow I'll go ask Miss Toyokawa next door about work first, then start the next simulation."
The simulations needed to accelerate. She had a little more time now than before, but compared to this morning it still only amounted to one extra year and a handful of days.
"Tomorrow's Chiose will take the simulation seriously! Tomorrow's Chiose — you have to remember, the simulation is just a simulation, and everything inside it is fake!"
She repeated it three times, until the words had barely managed to lull her restless hopes into something like sleep. Only then did Noshiro Chiose finally drift off peacefully.
Please — no scenes of self-destruction in tonight's dreams. If at all possible, please let her see Takamatsu Tomori one more time.
Self-destruction, after all, is only most painful in the aftermath.
"Tomorrow's Chiose… do your best!"
____
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