On the way back, Taki noticed that the cherry blossoms had already bloomed.
Cherry blossoms meant the end of the semester was near — and with it, the music festival at the tail end of second year of middle school.
"You know, Chiose… Kozui — I actually think it's really wonderful when parents give their kids something like the Black Parade to hold onto as a spiritual anchor."
What am I even saying — she obviously already knows it's wonderful!
Even knowing that, Shiina Taki couldn't help but say it out loud. It was like she'd been holding it in and it had started to ache.
"Of course it is. Ah, my adorable little Taki — have you ever thought about surpassing your sister?"
"Obviously — I think about it all the time. You know I only joined the wind ensemble because of my sister… but 'surpassing' sounds a bit ruthless, like you'd do anything to get there. I just…"
"Want your parents to be proud of you? Want people's first impression of you to be Taki — not 'Maki's little sister'?" Chiose pressed a finger to her chin and got there first.
"Yes! Exactly that!" Taki exclaimed.
As expected of Chiose — she just gets me. It really is like she's been secretly watching my whole life.
Nobody had ever talked to her like this before.
"So — do you think you'll actually pull it off?"
"I—!"
A playful breeze threaded through Taki's hair like a mischievous little spirit. She could see the cherry blossom buds just on the verge of opening, and in the same view, she could see Yoshiiro Chiose smiling at her.
"I know I can do it!"
She was going to learn lyric-writing! She was going to learn composition! She was going to use music to give people hope — well, okay, that last part might be a stretch.
But she wanted to work at it — with Chiose.
"I'm going to be just as good as my sister. Even better! I'll make everyone know that Shiina Taki is someone worth knowing!"
She'd said it. She'd finally said it out loud.
She, Shiina Taki, had finally spoken those words into the world.
All this time they'd been buried in the deepest corner of her heart — something she'd never dared let anyone see.
"Pfft — you complete and utter dumbass! Saying it out loud doesn't count for anything, you know. Do you know what the great Prosciutto once said?"
"What?"
"In our world, there's no such thing as 'I'm going to kill her.' You want to know why? Because by the time those words even surface in our heads, the enemy is already dead. It's already over."
Chiose covered half her face with one hand and thrust the other dramatically forward in a full-on chuunibyou pose.
"I get it… thank you."
"Hah?" Chiose put on her best I-didn't-catch-a-word-of-that face and leaned right in toward Taki. "What's this little minnow muttering about under her breath? Speak up, I can't hear you!"
"It's nothing!"
This girl — she is absolutely dead set on teasing me every single second of the day!
Taki shot Chiose a look, then put on her best huffy expression and scurried away in short little steps.
"Oho Is little Taki playing some kind of game with me? If I catch you, I'll tickle you absolutely senseless, you know"
...
In the small study of Chiose's apartment, Taki sat staring blankly at an open notebook.
"I have a feeling for it… but I can't get anything onto the page."
"Hmm hmm, what's wrong, little Taki? Can't get your pen moving?"
"More or less. It feels like what I want to write is right there on the tip of my tongue — but it just won't come out."
She'd been training for over a week now. Her world had expanded through films and books, and Yoshiiro Chiose had been slowly sharpening her sensitivity to things, deepening her understanding.
Chiose was an inexhaustible encyclopedia of life. She knew so much — as though she'd been an untiring scholar for decades.
What kind of life experiences could possibly give someone such vast, far-reaching wisdom?
"Try writing about me. And about yourself."
That was what the girl sitting across from her said — the one who had kicked her bare feet up onto the table without a care in the world.
"Hah? Can you please put your feet down first."
"What for~ You were clearly staring at them just now, and the moment you got your fill you want them gone? Shiina Taki, you are so cruel! Wuu wuu wuu…"
"Don't say things like that!"
Say it again — say it one more time and I'll show you just how worked up I can get.
"You won't get worked up. I've figured you out completely."
"You're impossible! I'm writing ✍ lyrics now! I'm done talking to you."
In a show of mock indignation, Taki poked at the center of Chiose's foot with the end of her pen, repeatedly.
She was, apparently, tickling her.
"Alright, I'll stop teasing you."
Yoshiiro Chiose slipped around behind Taki and wrapped her arms around her in a gentle hug.
"My sweet Miss Taki with her little teardrop mole — if we can finish today, we'll stay up all night watching movies as a treat. For both of us."
"And if we can't finish?"
"Then we stay up all night writing lyrics."
So either way, sleep is not happening.
"I'll do my best. Now let go of me."
"Aww~ How can you do this to me — I'm going to cry, you know."
Then go cry in a corner! You absolute menace!
Taki let out a huff and said no more.
Chiose's presence was like a rope, looping tight around Taki's throat. She wanted to breathe, but found herself struggling more and more for air.
Suffocation. Friendship. Spring.
And now graves on top of everything else — each of these chaotic, scattered elements felt like it could spin out into a whole song on its own. But how on earth was she supposed to write it?!
"Take your time, Taki. We've got a lot of it — a whole month."
"..."
That feels like nowhere near enough, actually.
Gnawing on the end of her pen, Taki's mind slowly went blank.
What should I write?
"Hmm… just…"
...
"This is what you came up with in half an hour?"
"Y-Yeah — is it no good?"
"How do I put this… it's pretty average," said Chiose, lying back on the bed with a pair of thick black-framed glasses perched on her nose. "Go write another version."
"Oh…"
She'd thought as much. What she could produce right now still wasn't good enough.
Taki sat at the foot of the bed, staring down at the notebook in her hands, turning it over in her mind.
"What's the problem, do you think?"
"I think maybe it's missing a touch of magic."
"There Kozui goes, being abstract again."
"Well, this sort of thing can't really be made concrete — being abstract about it actually fits better."
Yoshiiro Chiose reached for the guitar beside her and began plucking the strings slowly, as if preparing for something.
"I'll play for you. See if there's a melody that speaks to you — we might be able to write the music first and have you fill in the lyrics after."
"That could work, I guess, but it feels…"
Taki had a vague sense that something was off, even if she couldn't put her finger on what.
If she was filling in lyrics, wasn't she kind of taking the easy way out?
"Shall I start?"
"Go ahead."
Forget it — just listen for now.
Taki flipped open her panda notebook and looked again at the lyrics Chiose had praised as endlessly re-readable.
[They're not that different from what I'm writing now — so why does Kozui think the new ones don't work?]
[Where exactly did I go wrong?]
____
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