She who spins and twirls — and our future — if only they could stop somewhere and begin again.
She who spins and twirls, and I — both of us, the wounded — slowly moving forward somewhere, in that same shape.
Those were the lyrics, weren't they?
She had written them herself, and yet the words had slipped from her mind for a moment. Laughable.
Taki stood in the hospital corridor, at a loss.
So sudden.
So sudden, this critical turn — and yet, looking back, the signs of Chiose's collapse had been there all along. She simply hadn't noticed them herself.
So sudden, this lapse into unconsciousness — and yet Taki had known, too, that Chiose hadn't fully recovered. She simply hadn't been able to refuse that soft, pleading look in Chiose's eyes when she said she wanted to go out.
"It's all… my own fault…"
"Miss Shiina? Would you like to go in and say a few words to Miss Yoshiiro? The surgery is about to begin."
It was the same female doctor as before. Her eyes were as flat and unreadable as ever.
But Shiina Taki had no attention to spare for that.
"Is Chiose awake?"
Can I go to her again — right now?
"Go on."
The doctor hadn't even finished speaking before Shiina Taki was already at the bedside.
The girl before her looked just as she always had — and yet her white hair seemed to have grown more brittle, like wildflowers on the verge of withering in the dead of winter.
Her face was pale, bloodless, every inch of her radiating a fragility that wrung the heart.
The hospital sheets and pillow were white. The walls were tiled in ivory. Amid all that whiteness, Chiose's eyes burned an unsettling, breathtaking red.
"Hey, hey, hey — what are you staring at! Where's the pineapple you promised? Don't tell me you only brought an apple again? I'll bully you, you know."
Such spirited words — if only they could have been said in a stronger voice.
Taki didn't dare draw closer to Chiose. She was afraid that even the act of approaching her might somehow harm this girl who flickered like a candle in the wind.
"I…"
"Dummy Taki. Honestly, hopeless."
"Huh? I am not — ugh."
"Why the sigh? It's not like you're standing at my grave… Oh, that reminds me — I said before that I wanted to be buried next to my parents, do you remember? I've changed my mind. I want…"
Those dry, delicate lips trembled for a moment before Chiose continued in her soft, faint voice:
"If I die, will you scatter my ashes into the sea — the one where we played that day? That way I'll be completely free. And you'd be able to hear your singing from the sea too, right?"
"Stop it. I — how have you thought up so many awful things! It's just a minor illness! The doctor said all you need is one surgery and you'll be fine! You are not going to die and you are not allowed to say things like that anymore!"
The last sentence came out close to a shout, and the moment she said it, Taki regretted it.
So rude. Why had she raised her voice like that?
"Pfft… are you — are you crying? That's adorable. My little Taki… I just remembered something."
Chiose stopped looking at Taki.
Her gaze drifted, hollow and unfocused, to the ceiling.
"I remembered the lyrics you wrote… They really are impossible to forget… I want to ask little Taki a few questions. Is that alright?"
"Of course. Anything I know, I'll answer."
"First question… which is worth more — a mule or a piano?"
"A piano."
"Then which is worth more — a piano or a collection of poems?"
"Depends on the object. Some poetry collections can be quite valuable."
"Then which is worth more — a poetry collection or springtime?"
"Springtime. Because seasons are a luxury."
"Then…"
"Which is worth more — springtime or love? That's what you want to ask, isn't it, Chiose."
"Yes, yes — that's exactly what I wanted to ask."
"Love. Even though almost no one ever compares the two."
"Pay attention — this is my last question."
Chiose was quiet for a long moment, as though she was struggling to gather the strength to say more.
"And it's also the question I've wanted to ask most of all."
She was remembering that day — Shiina Taki, pressed against the lectern by her own hand.
"Which is worth more — love, or tears?"
"Tears. I've always felt that tears are worth a little more."
What a cruel series of questions. Why was it that just a few small things like these could bring back so much…
Countless images flashed through Taki's mind, and the last one to settle was Yoshiiro Chiose's face — beautiful and bewitching in the evening light of that classroom.
That face from memory slowly overlapped with the gaunt, pallid face in front of her now, and Shiina Taki saw it clearly.
Yoshiiro Chiose was still smiling.
"Taki, why are you crying… Are you trying to prove to me that your tears hold something deeper than love itself?"
"I… I…"
"Sorry to interrupt — the surgery is about to begin. Miss Shiina, please step outside for now."
The golden-eyed doctor stepped between them. With another nurse at her side, she wheeled Chiose away.
On the gurney, Yoshiiro Chiose met the eyes of The System, disguised as a doctor.
In a voice only The System could hear, Chiose murmured:
[Move. And don't forget — nine years from now.]
The System gave a small nod of acknowledgment.
And they moved away from Shiina Taki.
As the gurney rolled past her, Chiose and Taki shared one final look.
Their eyes met for only a moment — and yet it felt as though that moment had frozen into eternity.
Taki walked out into the corridor and watched the green light outside the operating theatre flicker and go dark.
A terrible premonition welled up inside her.
The surgery had begun.
Taki couldn't afford to let her attention wander for even a second during the operation. She didn't look at her phone once.
Again and again, she repeated to herself:
[It's alright. It's just a minor illness.]
[After she's discharged, we'll write songs together for at least another fifty years.]
[What should I bring Chiose to eat tonight — something to help her recover?]
Lost in those imaginings, she watched the green light outside the operating theatre turn red — and then the red light went dark too.
Taki waited until the golden-eyed doctor appeared. She swept past in a hurry, leaving only a single sentence behind before she was gone.
"I'm very sorry — it failed. But you can still see her one last time. Go quickly."
"What? What did you say? You said…"
"I'm sorry."
What?
Chiose — the surgery failed?
Shiina Taki walked toward the operating theatre. She hadn't taken more than a few steps before her legs refused to carry her any further.
Of course… What Chiose had said to her before — that had been her last words, hadn't it.
"Chiose, you fool — why is everything you say always…"
So precisely right?
How did you know something would happen to you… How do you always know everything… Why?
Taki stood in silence and turned away.
Go and see Yoshiiro Chiose one last time? She couldn't. Shiina Taki truly, genuinely could not.
Why would a doctor say something so cruel…
To ask someone who had only just stopped being lonely to go and see — one final time — the person who had made her that way…
It was a lie. It had to be a lie.
Yoshiiro Chiose would never let anything happen to her!
In a daze, Shiina Taki did not choose to walk toward the operating theatre.
She turned, cast one last anguished glance back at it, and then broke into a run down the corridor — and fled the hospital.
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