When other people do it to you, it's called PUA. But Chiose is different.
Chiose's PUA isn't PUA at all — Chiose is genuinely doing this for your own good.
Now hurry up and say thank you to Chiose.
"So... is that really what happened..."
Soyo felt the fog lift all at once. She'd been wondering all day why the whole thing had felt so off.
The other girl had never told her who was actually in the clique — and maybe that was because the clique had never existed in the first place.
"But... but then why would they do this... could it really be because I actually offended them somehow? I haven't done anything, though."
"That doesn't matter, sweetheart. It doesn't matter."
"People's motivations are infinite and countless. Chasing after them is just another form of draining yourself. We aren't investigators charged with exploring the unknown — we don't need to understand all of that."
Soyo was drawn into Chiose's arms, her cheek pressed up against a heart that was bigger than her own face.
She was nearly being squished flat.
Warm and smooth and soft — this was Chiose's maternal love, made flesh.
"Mama... so what should I do now? The anxiety is still there, and I'm having some... a stress response? Is that the right phrase? I'm a little scared to be around people anymore."
Even though the analysis had revealed it was nothing more than a hollow, empty con — the effect it had left on Soyo was every bit as real as actual bullying.
This kind of bullying didn't require gathering a crowd to whisper about you behind your back. All it needed was to make you believe that someone was doing it.
A flash of anguish — among other emotions — crossed Soyo's eyes, and for the first time in a long while, she felt genuinely lost.
Was this all school amounted to — going every day and coming home with nothing but the hope that it would end soon?
Was school really this painful a thing? Why were there people so cruel that they would deliberately spread her private matters and set her up just to hurt her?
How could anyone do that...
Tears — without her even noticing — had begun to pool and circle in the corners of Soyo's eyes.
Soyo felt wronged. And somewhere deep inside, there was a breath of anger with nowhere to go.
She wanted to confront them and demand to know why — but then she realized Chiose had been right.
Even if she got an answer, it wouldn't help at all.
It wouldn't do a single bit of good — it would only hand them a flood of emotional satisfaction and leave herself worse off than before.
"Don't be afraid, my darling. Don't be afraid."
"Think of it as a lesson. Perhaps no one has ever said these things to you before — so that's why you need me. Your mama. To tell you a few things."
Yoshiiro Chiose kept pressing, ever so gently, against Soyo's limits — and was astonished to discover that this child seemed to have none.
She was so lonely that she was open to any love at all, without exception.
Let alone something as carefully wrapped and presented as Yoshiiro Chiose's affection.
Soyo, now fully burrowed into Chiose's embrace, couldn't begin to guess — and would never think to try to guess — what the gentle older woman holding her was actually thinking.
She had become, for all intents and purposes, a tiny and unknowing creature — completely handled, completely coaxed, folded back into something as small and helpless as an embryo.
"As long as you don't follow anyone else's every move, don't try to read what people are thinking, don't dwell on things that haven't happened... if you just live a little hazily and let things wash over you — you'll find it's actually very comfortable."
Sensitive people bear twice the sorrow of everyone else — and Yoshiiro Chiose found herself genuinely hoping, from the bottom of her heart, that Soyo would be able to live a lighter life.
After all, even she hadn't expected The System's little [incident] to land with quite this much force.
It had made little Soyo cry. That was really rather awful of it.
"As long as you stop caring, no one can touch you."
"As long as I stop caring... is that really enough? But I care so much about all of this — does that make me too weak?"
Well yes — after all, she was barely twelve, still just a first-year in middle school. Chiose was fairly certain that Taki or Tomori at this same age would have felt the exact same way.
"But isn't that what I'm here for? I'll protect you properly, my little sweetheart."
These words — saccharine, clingy, the kind you couldn't say to just anyone — were perfectly suited, precisely suited, to a [mother] coaxing a [daughter] who had never received her full share of a mother's love.
"Learning to let go and shut out the anxiety these things bring you — it can actually be quite simple."
"What do you mean?"
"Just let Mama spoil you a little more. Let Mama be the one to heal you... my darling girl, you've had a hard time of it out there, haven't you. Your little face has gone so pale — it breaks my heart."
And like that, Soyo was held — completely, entirely — wrapped up in both of Yoshiiro Chiose's arms.
[Is this... what mother's love feels like?]
It was the first time this year she had felt love in any concrete, tangible way. Soyo felt as though she were drifting.
"I should... treasure and love the people who are worth my feelings — isn't that right?"
"That's right."
"Then how do I tell who those people are?"
"Hmm, let me think~" Chiose pinched her own chin. "Generally speaking, someone who truly loves you won't sit down and negotiate with you about [rights] and [responsibilities] and [emotional value] — I know that might sound like I'm stepping on some toes, but truly — real love doesn't kick up a fuss. Because genuine love has no voice."
And it was precisely because genuine love was so quiet that it was so often overlooked and discarded.
Well — not many people treasure real love anyway. People have an endless gift for squandering their own lives.
At just barely twelve years old, Soyo couldn't yet fully grasp the whole of what Yoshiiro Chiose was saying.
But she had her own interpretation of it.
[Basically — I should cherish my birth mother, and Chiose-mama too, right?]
But her mother wasn't home very often... so she could only pour more of that love into Chiose-mama instead.
"Still — I think you've come away with something else from all of this."
Like a baby nestled in her mother's arms, Soyo was growing drowsy — Chiose's embrace was simply too warm and too comfortable — but she fought off the sleepiness and kept listening.
The worry. The gloom. The anxiety.
Gone. All of it gone.
Those things seemed as though they had never existed at all — they had dissolved, so quietly, into nothing.
"That girl called Sakiko Togawa — she's quite interesting, isn't she. Perhaps she's worth making friends with?"
Sakiko Togawa?
Sakiko Togawa...
Her phone was vibrating. It had gone off several times already — but Soyo hadn't gotten around to checking it.
Chiose-mama's arms were too warm, too soft — as though all the gentleness in the world had gathered there. Soyo couldn't pull herself free.
[Is this what love is.]
How wonderful. She had received love.
Yoshiiro Chiose was a mother who loved her even more than her own mother did. She was always dependable — never absent when it mattered...
Why hadn't she appeared sooner...
No — no, she couldn't be greedy. This was something that had come to her so hard-won. How could she think about asking for even more?
[I will treasure this love.]
She would never let the thing she had spent her whole life longing for disappear. Never.
Nagasaki Soyo made a silent vow to herself.
She believed she wouldn't be like everyone else — she wouldn't throw away the love she'd finally found. She would cherish this mother's love with everything she had. She would never, ever let go.
At least — that was what she believed, right now.
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