"Good work, everyone — that's all for today's rehearsal.
"See you tomorrow. The show's next week, so make sure you all get some proper rest tonight."
"Got it! See you, Soyo!"
"Bye!"
Nagasaki Soyo packed up her bass without really thinking about it, waiting until nearly everyone had filtered out before she made for the door.
Her mind was a tangled knot today.
She had barely stepped out of the room when a voice drifted over from the corner, quiet and unhurried.
The figure it came from had a cool, remote presence — and was missing just a shade of human warmth.
"Soyo. You're not in a great mood today, are you."
"Hm?" Soyo turned, and found it was Mutsumi who had spoken.
Mutsumi — full name Wakaba Mutsumi — was a student at Tsuki no Mori Girls' High School, same as Soyo and Sakiko.
They usually walked to school together, but Mutsumi was like a block of wood: she never chimed in when Soyo and Sakiko were talking.
No — more accurately, she never chimed in no matter what. She was like a dead tree with a woodpecker's hole bored straight through its heart.
Mutsumi's blank silence was indistinguishable from spacing out entirely.
"What's the matter, Little Mutsumi?"
Out of politeness, Soyo picked up the thread.
She had no desire to talk to anyone right now. All she wanted was to go home, practice bass for a while, and collapse into bed.
"Did something happen between you and Little Sakiko?"
"..."
The corner of Soyo's mouth twitched. A sound started to climb out of her throat — and then thought better of it and shrank back down.
Does this person always say exactly what she means like that?
"Nothing happened, Little Mutsumi. I'm heading out."
"But, Soyo... the way things are going, something's going to go wrong."
"Hm? What are you trying to say?"
Soyo felt the shift in her own voice — it had gone slightly off-balance, almost like it was trembling.
"If there's a problem, you can talk about it openly, Soyo..."
Wakaba Mutsumi's face remained as unreadable as ever. Evening was creeping in now; outside, the sky was cloudless, and the amber light of dusk washed Soyo's vision in shades of orange and gold.
Mutsumi's face was falling into shadow. Soyo's was growing bright.
"There's no problem between us whatsoever, Mutsumi."
"Soyo — do you even care about this band?"
"Are you here to pick a fight with me?"
The words shot out of Nagasaki Soyo at full speed. Her head was full of the lesson Yoshiiro Chiose had once taught her:
[As long as you don't care, no one can touch you.]
And that was exactly right — she didn't care about the band at all. She only cared about what the band could bring to Nagasaki Soyo.
Crychic meant nothing to her. If Crychic was going to plant itself on the opposite side of her, then she'd simply dissolve Crychic.
It was her band. She had organized it. Whatever she chose to do with it was her prerogative.
"No... Soyo, that's not it..." Mutsumi's words were coming faster now too.
It was a rare thing. Something in her manner gave off a feeling of genuine panic.
"I just... want the band to be better."
Wakaba Mutsumi was still so young — only fourteen. This was her first time being pulled into a so-called "band of destiny," a bond that had been promised to last a lifetime.
"Then don't say another word, Wakaba Mutsumi. All you need to do is keep playing guitar in silence, same as before."
"..."
Finally, Wakaba Mutsumi parted her lips and spoke:
"Soyo... do you actually want to make your mother happy, or..."
"Hm? What? What are you trying to say?"
"Soyo. You're only trying to satisfy your own desires. Sometimes you're far too selfish."
"I'm leaving. Goodbye."
A moment later, the door slammed — a single, solid bang — in front of Wakaba Mutsumi.
Only once the room was completely empty did Mutsumi's outline begin to blur.
The lights dimmed. Then, a flash.
What appeared in her place was a girl with white hair and golden eyes.
She pushed open the door with an expressionless face, and as she did, a green-haired girl outside was just about to walk in.
"Hm?"
Wakaba Mutsumi glanced at the door sign with a faint trace of puzzlement. She confirmed it was her band's rehearsal room, and froze.
"Hello there. I'm the next booking. Your bandmates left a little early."
"Oh — right. I'll just grab my things."
Mutsumi gave a small, thoughtful nod and stepped past the stranger into the rehearsal room.
She hadn't expected that just by slipping away to the bathroom, she'd come back to find everyone gone.
Was she forgotten? ...Oh well. Not a big deal.
The white-haired, golden-eyed girl tilted her head to one side.
[Plan executed. ✓]
Breathe —
Breathe —
In the dead of night, Nagasaki Soyo jolted upright in bed.
She sucked in air in great, heaving gulps and yanked off her blue silk sleep mask, tossing it aside.
[You're only trying to satisfy your own desires. Sometimes you're far too selfish.]
Most of the time, lies don't hurt — it's the truth that draws real blood. A lie, once exposed, can be laughed off. But hold up a raw, bleeding piece of reality, and it becomes genuinely unbearable.
Wakaba Mutsumi's words had driven into Nagasaki Soyo's chest like a dagger.
"It's... it's true, but..."
Yes, she was selfish — but that didn't make her wrong.
No one had ever given her the kind of love Yoshiiro Chiose had. So what if she was a little selfish?
"What gives any of you — people who already have someone by your side — the nerve to say that to me... And Sakiko, why are you calling my mother 'mama'? Do none of you have your own mothers? Stop stealing other people's mamas!"
With a burst of frustration, Soyo hurled her pillow at the floor-to-ceiling window. It hit without making a single sound.
Her hair hung loose around her like the trailing branches of a willow. Soyo pressed her hands over her face, completely lost.
She was in pain — especially now that she'd noticed Chiose-mama was growing older too. Soyo felt a cold terror creeping in: someday, her mother would be gone from her life entirely.
What would she do then?
"No... I can't spiral like this... Let me think — what would Chiose-mama do if she were me..."
If I were Yoshiiro Chiose...
If I were Yoshiiro Chiose?
If... I were Yoshiiro Chiose!
[Don't let yourself run on empty, my sweet little Soyo.]
!!
"Right — yes — I need to prove to my mother that I've grown up. That way she can stop worrying... She won't have to exhaust herself over me anymore!"
I want to leave the shelter of mama's arms and become the kind of capable, dependable adult she is!
"I'm already grown up. I can't keep relying on Chiose-mama the way I did a few years ago."
I need to be independent. I need to carve out something real with my band!
Yes. That's exactly it!
Having untangled it all, Nagasaki Soyo bounced off the bed with a surge of excitement.
"If I'm independent enough — capable enough — mama will be happy for me. She'll be proud of me!"
This was the first love Nagasaki Soyo had ever received that felt so vivid, so alive — and she had been doing everything she could to hold on to it.
She had realized that in order to preserve that love, and at the same time to give something back to her mother...
She had no choice but to stand on her own two feet. No choice but to step out of her mother's embrace.
After all, she couldn't rely on her mother forever.
She had to. Prove herself.
____
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