This child…
At first it was only because she feared the girl would freeze to death in the ice and snow that she'd picked her up and brought her home.
Afterward, she'd used all sorts of excuses to refuse to accept the existence of such a "daughter."
But at this moment, the mother who was the only one to have cared for this child for over six years had fallen ill.
And just like that, abruptly, the girl had once again returned into her hands, become her belonging.
That was how things were.
...
That little girl was trembling, hidden inside the wardrobe—Soyo could see it plain as day.
Chiose's eyes had reddened further still; set off against the cream-colored cabinet door, her skin was as pure and white as an angel's feathered wings.
Tiny as she was, hugging a great big teddy bear, she looked both adorable and a little comical.
"You all right?"
Soyo felt that her long-dormant heart showed signs of a heartbeat—though it was gone again in the blink of an eye.
"I want Grandma… boo-hoo… am I never going to see her again?"
"..."
At so young an age, she was already having to face the grave illness of a loved one?
How unlucky—the responsibility of telling a child what aging, sickness, and death are had actually fallen upon her. Though, well, it seemed this was her responsibility to begin with.
"She can't take care of you anymore. From now on you can only stay with me."
"Then can I still go home? I want to go back to my room…"
The little girl's voice was so full of grievance that Soyo even felt as though she herself were the one who had kidnapped the other.
Stop crying, would you—if you cry like this, how am I supposed to tell you the cold, hard truth?!
Clumsily, she lifted Chiose out of the cabinet. This child was soft and small; held in her arms, she weighed even less than half a sack of rice.
[So this is… my daughter?]
She's rather cute.
Mm… she even seems to have grown up more exquisitely sculpted, like jade, than I did as a child.
Don't let her small size fool you—her body heat was astonishing; just holding her, the other felt as scalding as a hot-water bottle.
"Don't cry, don't cry… Mama's right here."
The word [Mama] was one she too had called out from childhood on, yet using it to refer to herself was such a tongue-twisting thing.
"Mama… Chiose wants to go home… boo-hoo…"
The little girl had suddenly been parted from the person closest to her, and yet still had to come live together with this never-home mother of hers…
Soyo stood there and tried to think from Chiose's point of view, and suddenly felt it was rather sad.
"This will be your home from now on—don't cry, don't cry, all right?"
Nagasaki Soyo, in this moment, finally abandoned the intention of sending the other away… After all, this child was one she herself had picked up; she'd raised her for so many years now—how could she possibly just suddenly, irresponsibly toss her aside?
Besides, Chiose could be counted as a gift her mother had given her, couldn't she.
Soyo comforted herself with such thoughts. The little one in her arms didn't fuss in the slightest. She wept ever so quietly, and ever so quietly hugged her teddy bear.
Nagasaki Soyo found this teddy bear somewhat familiar, but for the moment she couldn't recall where she'd seen it before.
"Mama…"
Her daughter's weight, her daughter's warmth, and her daughter's sticky-soft little call—every one of them made Soyo's hands tremble.
She carried this adorable little one, just like a doll, over to the living room and set her down on a chair.
"Can Chiose wait here a little for… Mama? Mama's going to go make you some food, okay?"
"Mm!"
The tone of her own voice… what was going on—it had turned nearly as gentle as in her high-school, or even middle-school, days.
Soyo pulled open the refrigerator door as she always did and dug out the vegetarian food and macaroni she usually ate; she decided to cook up a bowl of vegetable-macaroni soup in the shortest possible time.
The process of cooking was quiet; Soyo often took these stretches of time to relax her usually taut nerves a little.
"Hmm-hmm~" She was even humming a little tune while chopping vegetables; Soyo felt her mood lift a bit.
Her mother's coma, her father's disappearance, and the extra little daughter… so many worries, so much pain too—might as well let them all just fly away!
Pain! Pain! Fly away!
Her waist swayed along with the motion of chopping, and suddenly Soyo felt her bottom bump into something.
She glanced down sidelong and saw Nagasaki Chiose standing beside her, clutching her little bear.
That child was blinking her big eyes, staring at her cooking without letting her attention stray for even a moment.
"Hm? Why'd you come over—didn't I tell you to sit and wait for me?"
"Mama!"
"I'm here, what is it?"
"It got dirty!" Chiose held up her toy bear; a few drops of vegetable juice had splashed onto it.
"That's exactly why I told you not to stand so close to me. Here's a napkin—wipe it off yourself."
"Oh…"
Chiose, along with her teddy bear and the napkin, was pushed out the kitchen door all together; before Nagasaki Soyo slid the transparent door shut, she even made a point of confirming this child wouldn't sneak back in again.
"Honestly—the space where I cook is supposed to be my private space, sheesh."
I'm so unused to having someone in the house. Maybe I really should find some relative to foster this child out to after all.
Worst case I just throw more money at it—money's the one thing I'm never short of, anyway.
As her thoughts surged along, the dish in her hands was already finished, and Nagasaki Soyo carried the bowl out of the kitchen.
The first thing she went to observe was that child.
Nagasaki Chiose sat obediently at the dining table, using the napkin as if it were a face towel to wipe her toy bear's face.
"Stop playing, it's time to eat."
A child this small shouldn't need to be spoon-fed by her, right?
Soyo sat down across from Chiose, praying inwardly that Chiose wouldn't be that much trouble.
After all, her own dinner time was really quite limited; there'd be plenty to keep her busy in a while, and if she had to feed the child on top of that, she'd have even less time left when she got back.
"Okay… time to dig in!"
Chiose's voice was soft and limp, with a sort of breathless, short-of-air quality to it.
"As long as you can eat by yourself, that's fine. I'll… dig in too."
This was the first time in all these many years that Soyo had said "time to dig in."
From childhood on she'd basically always eaten alone, so whether she said it or not didn't matter, and it was precisely this couldn't-care-less attitude that had kept Soyo from forming many of the particular habits that so many people of her own country have.
She wouldn't say "I'm home" when she came home, wouldn't say "time to dig in" when she ate… mm, it seemed Chiose had been quite well cared for by her mother, to have actually formed habits like these.
Thinking of this, Soyo actually felt it rather ironic.
She was the one who was her mother's daughter, and yet she'd never received the sort of care her own foster-daughter had received… put that way, she even felt a bit resentful.
Little Chiose had no idea Soyo had drawn so many associations; she was very well-mannered while eating, her toy set on the stool to her right.
She lifted the soup spoon, blew on the food in it, and brought it into her mouth——
And after that, she went still.
"Hm? Why'd you stop eating?"
Soyo had already gotten several spoonfuls down, only to find Chiose still absently biting at her spoon.
"It tastes awful."
"How could it? Vegetarian food is delicious."
"Long-term Soyo is so terrible…."
Was it her imagination? Soyo felt the other's voice was growing fainter and fainter.
Not that she could be bothered to pay it any mind.
"If you don't want to eat, then you'll just have to go hungry. There's nothing else in the house, either."
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