Soyo had a very strange dream.
She dreamed of herself walking barefoot through molten lava, her body still wrapped in a heavy padded cotton jacket.
It was hot—terribly, terribly hot.
The padded jacket had no zipper and no buttons that could be undone; it was as though it had been sewn straight onto her body. In the dream it had to be summer—otherwise the sun wouldn't have been so vicious.
As she walked on and on, Soyo fell into the magma.
She struggled, she thrashed, but it was all to no avail——
"Ngh..."
At last, in the midst of utter darkness, Nagasaki Soyo glimpsed the first light of dawn.
She had woken up.
But if she was awake, then why was it still so hot...
She forced her eyes open with difficulty. Years of sleeping habit had made Soyo accustomed to wearing a sleep mask, so right now she couldn't see a thing.
"So hot. Hm? That's not right.."
Why was the space in her arms so strangely hot? She clearly hadn't stuck on a heat patch or anything of the sort.
Bewildered, Soyo threw back the covers, and yanked her sleep mask off to the side as well.
In her arms was an adorable little white-furred dumpling, pressed snugly against her body. Her sleeping face was cute enough, but she didn't seem to be sleeping at all soundly.
In the morning light, Chiose's eyebrows were twisted into a knot, her faintly parting and closing lips looking as though they were straining with all their might to beg for a breath of air.
"Chiose? Chiose!"
The little girl was alarmingly hot; Soyo felt the other's body temperature was at least several degrees higher than her own.
She pressed a hand to Chiose's forehead, and her hand too was instantly heated to scalding.
Soyo even felt as if Nagasaki Chiose were melting.
"Hsss—is she running a fever?"
Only now did Soyo finally, completely snap awake. The little girl's sudden illness was like a basin of cold water poured straight over Soyo, chilling her to the very core.
Could it be that yesterday, when she'd thought the child felt so hot, she had already been burning up with fever?
[Take Chiose to the hospital——]
It was six o'clock in the morning now. The time wasted phoning a private doctor would absolutely take longer than simply setting off for the hospital directly.
Dizzy, exhausted.
Soyo, who had spent a whole week toiling over her mother's condition, was thrown into a flurry of busyness once again—except this time what she was toiling over was the affairs of the daughter she'd only brought home a day ago.
Nagasaki Soyo casually wrapped her own down jacket around Chiose, scooped the other up in one motion, and hurried downstairs.
[Rise and Fall: Fall, I command you!]
That was how things were.
Yoho Rain Private Hospital, outside the ICU ward.
"The patient's temperature has already dropped to thirty-nine degrees Celsius, and it's currently holding to a downward trend. Barring any complications, she should wake up before long."
"Ah. Good."
Nagasaki Soyo sat outside the emergency room while the doctor stood there at her side, reporting on Chiose's condition.
But Soyo wasn't really taking it in.
She kept up that state of in-one-ear-and-out-the-other all the way until the doctor walked off.
It was only a long while later that Soyo let out a long, drawn-out sigh.
"Am I being maybe a little too terrible."
Let's set that matter aside for the moment.
The child was one she herself had picked up to begin with, and after deciding she didn't want to raise her, she'd irresponsibly dumped her on her mother. After her mother could no longer look after the child, the first thing Soyo had come up with was that this kid was such a hassle—might as well hand her off to someone else.
Even after bringing her home, she hadn't cared whether the other had adjusted to her new surroundings and had just gone off to busy herself with her own affairs. Even though such a small child disliked eating vegetarian food, Soyo still hadn't cared about any of that.
I really do seem a little too terrible... why has it come to this.
Back in middle school I was still pretty gentle, wasn't I.
Now that a dozen-odd years have passed, have I become a disgusting adult too?
When exactly did I start going wrong?
She didn't know how much time had passed; Soyo only remembered the sun slowly climbing from the corner of the sky to somewhere she could no longer see it. When the medical staff told her that Chiose had woken and she could go in to visit, she was still mired in a kind of daze.
Beyond that ivory-white door was Chiose—she only had to take a step on her two legs to go in and visit.
Soyo wanted to walk forward, but her feet seemed nailed in place, unable to budge so much as an inch.
"I guess I'm a little too ashamed to go see her. I'll probably get scolded by the kid."
I really have changed so much.
Become irresponsible—just like Mama sometimes was...
Though her heart was tangled in a thousand knots, the thing still had to be done. After all, she couldn't just stand at the door forever, could she?
Sighing, Soyo pushed the door open and went in anyway.
The first thing she saw was the white curtains fluttering; the wind whistling past lifted her hair, and then Soyo caught sight of… those crimson eyes fixed upon her.
"Ngh! Mama!" That was what the child on the sickbed said.
She was frail, she was tiny, she was like the most fragile treasure in all the world, she..
[Not even the slightest bit of resentment toward me?]
Even though.. I've been so derelict in my duty.
"Mama's right here, Chiose. Are you feeling better?"
Soyo suddenly felt how false she was, like a fake person.
Could she really not tell whether her own daughter was all right? Then why ask out loud this question of [are you all right]?
Was she still probing to see whether the other blamed her? How disgusting—me, as the adult here.
"Much better! Mama, your face is so pale—did you not rest well?"
Even in a situation like this, she actually showed concern for me first. Chiose, you little thing.
"Mama's fine... haah."
Whenever she thought of how she'd been yesterday, Soyo wanted to slap herself a few times.
She sat down at the edge of Chiose's bed and used a warm, damp towel to wipe the sweat from the other's face.
When all was said and done she was still just a child; that she could be this adorable was something to thank her grandmother's upbringing for.
"You haven't eaten anything from yesterday until now—are you feeling hungry? Once you're discharged Mama will take you out to eat."
"Mm.."
The same listless, spiritless reply as yesterday.
It suddenly occurred to Soyo that during all these days she'd spent caring for her mother at the hospital, she hadn't once thought of Chiose. Did this mean that, in fact, this child hadn't eaten a proper meal since many days ago?
This...
"Chiose, what have you been eating lately?"
"Wuu?"
All right—that was enough.
After receiving the other's adorable little whimper, Soyo knew the answer.
[So you've barely eaten, huh... haah.]
The room fell into a strange silence for a time; Soyo had no idea how she was supposed to face this child next.
She wanted to run away, but running away would only make her look even more wretched.
She wanted to speak up, but her face was too thin-skinned.
The silence seemed like it would go on and on, until——
"Mama..."
From within the white bed, Chiose spoke up ever so cautiously.
And Chiose's voice was like the first light of dawn amid despair; Soyo swiftly seized hold of this lifeline.
"What is it, Chiose?"
This time, her tone! It had to be very gentle, surely!
"Mama.. can you not call me Chiose...? Grandma always called me... Little Chiose..."
Nagasaki Chiose's voice came in fits and starts, a little slurred and indistinct when it came out, and the volume too soft, but even so Soyo listened patiently and earnestly all the way through.
Yet after hearing it, Soyo's heart was a jumble of mixed feelings.
"O-okay, sure, Little Chiose. Little Chiose is the best-behaved—Mama will take you to eat something tasty in a bit."
"Mm!"
You being this good makes me feel so awful.
If you were a little more wicked I could at least feel at ease about it... yeah right, feeling at ease is out of the question.
After all these many years, it was the first time Soyo had ever felt emotions this complicated.
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