It was heartbreaking.
Her mother had only that very afternoon entrusted her with the task of spending more time with the child, of not repeating the same mistakes she herself had made back then.
And yet, in the blink of an eye, she had already broken her promise—and failed in her duty too.
Even though Soyo knew this couldn't really be blamed entirely on herself—after all, her career was important, and there was simply no way to extricate herself from it—
she still felt guilty and full of self-reproach, because Nagasaki Soyo also understood at the same time that she no longer had the right to be that Ms. Nagasaki who refused all socializing.
She was, now, the mother of a little girl.
Her feet... they were going numb. But standing there refusing to move forward wasn't a solution either.
Closing the door behind her and drawing near to the angel who was dozing with her eyes shut, Soyo tried her best not to make a single stray sound—yet she still startled the other awake.
[In the end, the shadow of my mother has stained me too.]
She couldn't escape this fate; fate had made her into a mother just like her own.
The moment she thought of this, Soyo found herself unable to walk any farther. She pressed her lips together, unsettled by this sentence that had suddenly surfaced in her mind.
Facing the daughter who had waited at the dinner table for her to come home, what had her mother done back then?
Her mother, back then...
Soyo stood at Chiose's side, bent down to bring her face close to the other's, and ever so carefully rocked that little body, as though she were touching a fragile, priceless treasure.
A treasure—one wholly her own, unique in all the world.
"Mm... mm..."
The little child made an adorable mumbling sound, which only made Soyo's heart ache all the more.
"Mama? Mm! Mama's finally back! Are we going to go have ginseng chicken soup? Ah... it seems it's already gotten really late."
The first half of the words were delighted, the second half disappointed. Chiose rubbed the forehead that had been pressed red, her consciousness not yet fully recovered.
She blinked her golden-red eyes, and in them there wasn't the slightest trace of blame toward Soyo, nor any hint of unhappiness.
"..."
For a moment Soyo didn't know what to say.
She loved well-behaved children, because they never caused trouble—but sometimes it was better for a child not to be too understanding... like right now, it was simply too heartbreaking.
"I'm sorry, Little Chiose, Mama was too busy today and didn't get the chance to take you out for dinner... Can you forgive Mama just this once? Did you eat anything tonight?"
"I'm not blaming Mama at all. After all, Mama has her own life too—how could Little Chiose go and tie down Mama's life? Tonight? Cough cough, I ate! Mm... that's right!"
This is a lie, isn't it.
Soyo's chest felt tight and stifled, her ability to put words together sinking to its lowest point in that moment.
Once again, her daughter had forgiven her.
Even if she had shouted at her, ignored her, broken her promises to her, the child would always turn it around and comfort her in the gentlest of ways and words.
Simply—simply—she was that kind of perfect person you'd only ever meet in a dream.
Soyo suddenly realized she seemed unworthy of the other. After all, she couldn't protect any of the gentleness Chiose carried, and the promise she had so glibly tossed out during the day now felt like nothing but a joke.
Holding the other in her arms, Soyo opened the refrigerator door with one hand, searching for ingredients.
Even if she had to stay up all night, she should still make Chiose at least a little something to eat. The child was still young and still growing—going hungry for one meal herself was of no consequence.
[Maybe I should foster the child out to a reliable friend.]
[Shiina Taki, Takamatsu Tomori, Wakaba Mutsumi...]
All sorts of strange thoughts began to surface one after another. Soyo felt that perhaps... compared to herself, someone else could give Chiose a happier, more fulfilling childhood.
[No... I can't bear to part with her... I...]
"Mama! I want cuddles~"
"Cuddles? How does Little Chiose want to cuddle?"
"Cheek to cheek, of course! Cuddle, Mama!"
Lifted up into the air, Chiose nuzzled Soyo's cheek with the side of her face, and at last planted a big smacking kiss on Soyo's cheek with her lips.
"Who taught you to be so affectionate? You've gotten Mama's whole face covered in drool."
But Soyo didn't mind in the least. She had come to realize something.
This was Chiose's own way of... comforting her.
As if she, Nagasaki Chiose, were the mama, and she, Nagasaki Soyo, were the daughter who needed coaxing.
Wait!
Soyo suddenly realized something else.
So alike—too alike.
In the past, she herself had been just like this.
After her mother came home exhausted from a long day, she would offer her a lap pillow and a massage. Back then, Nagasaki Soyo had been more like Ms. Nagasaki's mama...
She had thought the things of the past were behind her, that they would never resurface—but she'd never imagined that the things of the past would simply be re-enacted all over again, in another form.
At this thought, Soyo suddenly felt a sting in her nose. But with her daughter in her arms, she couldn't let her emotions visibly waver... it would frighten Chiose.
Fried eggs with bacon—Soyo quickly whipped up a simple meal, and Chiose ate very happily, extremely happily.
Chiose was always... so very happy.
"Come on, Little Chiose, let's go to sleep... Tomorrow, Mama will definitely take you to have ginseng chicken soup."
"Yay, Mama's the best, love you!"
[Mother was absolutely right.]
In her arms, Chiose really did keep turning over like a clingy little kitten, as if searching for a comfortable position.
"Little Chiose... I'm so sorry about today... I..."
"It's okay, Mama, let's hurry and sleep. Little Chiose is all sleepy too—Little Chiose can't keep her eyes open anymore."
"Alright then, shall Mama sing Little Chiose a lullaby? It's 'Dango Daikazoku.' What happened today won't ever happen a second time."
A clear, gentle female voice rose up. Soyo was doing her best to do all the things she thought a child would like, to make it up to Chiose.
A familiar tune, a warm and lovable little one—by the time she sang the last lines, Soyo found herself choking up, exhaustion and all the emotions inside her tangling together.
"I'm sorry... Little Chiose, I... huh? Are you asleep?"
It was good that she'd fallen asleep.
Soyo felt very warm, as if she were sunbathing while wearing a padded cotton coat, but the last remnants of her consciousness were swiftly collapsing—truly unable to support her in any further thought.
Bit by bit, she sank just like that into the world of dreams.
It wasn't until their breathing had evened out that Chiose opened her eyes once more in the darkness.
Four distinct rings of light circled within her pupils, and in the depths of night, Yoshiiro Chiose murmured to herself, alone.
"Good daughter, I'm sorry—but I'm going to have to make you even busier."
[Rise and Fall: A century's rise and fall rests with man, not with Heaven!]
My current condition is an absolute disaster! But it's truly wonderful!
"Goodnight, Little Soyo."
By her ear came the tired little snoring of Soyo, a sound not loud at all, and rather adorable.
"I hope you don't dream of me tonight—otherwise you'd only become even more enchanted with me. And if that happens, it would only make the future you suffer all the more."
Don't go losing the will to live once I'm dead and gone.
Yoshiiro Chiose closed her eyes, and her consciousness too began to sink.
She hoped that in tonight's dream, Little Kyoumoto, Tomori, and Little Taki might appear—that would count as one grand, beautiful dream.
And so that was how it was.
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