The first few days of MBBS passed so quickly that sometimes I couldn't even believe this was my life now.
Slowly… everything started becoming familiar.
The hostel corridors that once felt strange now started feeling comfortable. The huge campus that had looked confusing on the first day slowly became easier to understand. Even the nervousness inside me had started becoming less.
I was finally settling in.
Not completely.
But slowly.
---
Every morning now had a proper routine.
Waking up early, getting ready quickly before lectures, carrying heavy books, rushing toward class with my roommate, stopping at the canteen for snacks between lectures, complaining about attendance and practicals—it all started becoming part of daily life.
And honestly…
I had started enjoying it.
---
Medical college life was exhausting.
But beautiful too.
Every day felt different.
Every day brought something new.
---
In the beginning, I used to stay very quiet in class because everyone around me seemed so confident. Some students answered questions fearlessly, some already knew medical terms, and some looked like they had prepared for MBBS since childhood.
Meanwhile, I was still trying to understand how to survive the timetable itself.
But slowly, I started gaining confidence too.
---
I started focusing properly during lectures, making notes carefully, and participating more in class discussions. Somewhere inside, I wanted teachers to remember me as a sincere student.
Not for attention.
But because after coming this far, I truly wanted to become a good doctor one day.
So naturally, I worked hard to make a positive impression.
Whenever professors asked questions, I tried answering even if I felt nervous.
Sometimes my answers were correct.
Sometimes not.
But slowly, teachers started recognizing my face.
And honestly?
That felt surprisingly motivating.
---
At the same time, hostel life also became more fun.
Now my roommate and I had started sharing almost everything—from skincare products to midnight overthinking sessions.
Sometimes we stayed awake late talking about random things like future goals, relationships, embarrassing school stories, favorite movies, and our fears about MBBS.
And somewhere in between those conversations…
we became really good friends.
---
Slowly, I also started making more friends in class.
At first, conversations were limited to studies.
"Did you complete notes?"
"Which practical room is this?"
"What's tomorrow's schedule?"
But slowly, those small conversations turned into real friendships.
And honestly, it felt nice.
Because for the first time in a long while…
I wasn't carrying everything alone.
---
Soon, our own friend group naturally formed.
And surprisingly, it included both girls and boys.
At first, I felt slightly awkward because in school I was never very open with boys. I was always the calm, reserved girl who mostly stayed in her own world.
But college changes people slowly.
Not completely.
Just enough to make them more comfortable with themselves.
---
Our group was honestly really nice.
Everyone had different personalities.
One friend was extremely funny and always making jokes during lectures.
Another was super intelligent and helped everyone in studies.
One girl in our group loved taking aesthetic pictures everywhere.
And one boy in particular had a very calm and respectful nature, which made everyone comfortable around him.
The best thing about our group was that nobody tried to act fake.
Everyone supported each other genuinely.
And maybe that's why we became close so quickly.
---
Lunch breaks became one of my favorite parts of the day.
We all used to sit together in the canteen, sharing food, discussing professors, laughing about practical mistakes, and complaining dramatically about the amount of syllabus.
Sometimes we laughed so much that people around us stared at us.
And honestly…
those moments healed something inside me.
Because after years of carrying silent emotions, heartbreak, pressure, and expectations…
I was finally learning how to enjoy the present.
---
At the same time, we also started exploring the college properly.
Which classroom was where.
Where the anatomy department was.
Where practical labs were located.
Which staircase led to the lecture hall faster.
Where seniors usually sat.
Which canteen item tasted best.
Everything slowly became familiar.
---
The practical rooms fascinated me the most.
Especially anatomy labs.
The first time we properly entered there, the atmosphere itself felt different.
Serious.
Silent.
Real.
For the first time, I truly understood that medicine wasn't just a dream anymore.
It was reality now.
And honestly…
that realization scared and motivated me at the same time
---
Some professors were strict.
Very strict.
The type whose footsteps alone could silence the entire classroom.
While some teachers were surprisingly friendly and inspiring.
There was one professor especially whose lectures I genuinely enjoyed because of the way he explained concepts so calmly.
And slowly, I started becoming more comfortable asking doubts too.
Which was honestly a huge change for me.
Because earlier, I used to overthink even small interactions.
---
Days passed quickly between lectures, hostel life, practicals, assignments, and friendships.
And somewhere in between all this…
I started changing too.
Not drastically.
But slowly becoming more confident.
More mature.
More independent.
---
Still…
sometimes at night, when hostel became quiet and everyone slept…
my mind still drifted toward the past.
Toward him.
I wondered where he was now.
How his life was going.
Whether he ever thought about me even for a second.
Whether destiny had completely removed our paths forever.
Or whether someday, unexpectedly, life would bring us face to face again.
---
But unlike before…
those thoughts no longer broke me completely.
Because now, for the first time, I had started building my own life too.
A life beyond silent feelings.
Beyond school corridors.
Beyond waiting.
---
One evening after lectures, our friend group was sitting together near the campus garden area. The weather was beautiful, and everyone was casually talking about college life.
Suddenly one of the boys in our group jokingly asked,
"So tell honestly… did anyone already find their college crush?"
Immediately everyone started laughing and teasing each other.
One girl pointed toward another boy dramatically.
Someone denied everything instantly.
And chaos started.
Meanwhile, I quietly smiled while listening to everyone.
Then suddenly someone looked at me.
"What about you?"
I immediately got nervous.
"Nothing like that," I replied quickly.
But my friends clearly didn't believe me.
Especially after noticing how awkward I became.
---
"Definitely hiding some story," one girl laughed.
And honestly…
if only they knew.
---
That night, after returning to hostel, I stood near the window again looking outside.
Campus lights glowed softly in the darkness while cool wind entered through the curtains.
Everything looked peaceful.
Yet somewhere inside…
I had a strange feeling.
Like something unexpected was slowly approaching.
Something connected to my past.
---
And strangely…
that feeling became even stronger the next day.
Because during one of our practical sessions, while I was arranging my files near the department corridor…
I suddenly heard a familiar name from behind.
A name I hadn't heard in years.
A name connected to memories I thought life had left behind forever.
That moment stayed in my mind for the entire day.
Even though I tried focusing during lectures, practicals, and conversations with friends, somewhere deep inside my mind that strange feeling kept disturbing me.
Why did that name feel so familiar?
Why did my heartbeat suddenly react like that?
And most importantly…
why did it feel like life was slowly connecting my past with my present again?
But before I could think too much about it, college life once again became busy.
Because MBBS honestly doesn't give anyone enough time to overthink peacefully.
---
Our schedule started becoming more hectic day by day.
Morning lectures.
Practicals.
Assignments.
Record files.
Late-night studying.
Everything together felt exhausting sometimes.
There were days when I returned to hostel so tired that I didn't even have energy to scroll through my phone properly.
But strangely…
I liked this exhaustion.
Because this tiredness reminded me that I was finally working toward my dream.
---
One thing I slowly realized about medical college was that everyone here carried pressure silently.
Some students looked confident outside but cried after tests.
Some laughed loudly in groups but secretly feared failure.
Some pretended they understood everything while actually struggling internally.
And honestly, knowing that made me feel less alone.
Because earlier I used to think only I overthink too much.
But here…
everyone was fighting something silently.
---
Our friend group also became stronger with time.
Now we had our fixed places everywhere.
Fixed benches in class.
Fixed lunch table.
Fixed walking routes around campus.
Even fixed timing for chai breaks.
And slowly, these small things started feeling precious.
---
Sometimes after lectures, we all used to roam around campus instead of directly going back to hostel. Our college campus looked especially beautiful during evening time. Cool breeze, sunset light, students sitting in groups everywhere—it all felt peaceful after long lectures.
One evening, while sitting near the canteen, one of my friends suddenly said,
"You know, one day we'll miss all this."
At first we laughed dramatically and said,
"Impossible."
But somewhere inside, I knew he was right.
Because the moments that exhaust us the most often become our favorite memories later.
---
Meanwhile, seniors also slowly started interacting more with juniors now. Not in a scary way like I had imagined before, but casually.
Some seniors guided us genuinely.
Some helped us with notes.
Some gave advice about professors and exams.
And honestly, after a few weeks, the fear I had on the first day slowly disappeared.
Now instead of fear, there was respect.
Because watching seniors confidently handle subjects, practicals, and presentations made me realize how much we still had to learn.
--
There was one senior especially whom everyone respected a lot. Not because he was overly strict or loud, but because of how calm and intelligent he seemed.
I had only seen him a few times from distance in corridors or departments, but somehow his presence always stood out.
And strangely…
every time I saw him, I felt like there was something familiar about him.
Not exactly his face.
More like his energy.
The way he behaved quietly.
The way he talked politely.
It reminded me of someone.
Someone I had spent years silently thinking about.
But obviously, I ignored those thoughts immediately.
Because that would've been ridiculous.
Right?
---
At hostel too, life kept becoming more memorable.
Now my roommate and I had completely adjusted with each other. We decorated more parts of our room together, added small lights, pictures, cute stationery, and tiny things that made the room feel warm and comforting.
Sometimes we ordered food late at night after studying.
Sometimes we studied together seriously.
And sometimes we spent hours doing absolutely nothing except gossiping and laughing.
Honestly…
those late-night hostel conversations became therapy.
---
One night, while talking randomly before sleeping, my roommate suddenly asked,
"Have you ever truly loved someone?"
That question caught me off guard.
For a few seconds, I stayed silent.
Because how could I explain a story that never even properly started?
How could I explain years of silent feelings?
Eye contacts.
Corridors.
Waiting.
Overthinking.
Hope.
And heartbreak without even being together.
So instead of explaining everything, I simply smiled softly and replied,
"Maybe."
She looked at me suspiciously but didn't force me to answer further.
Still…
that one question brought back so many memories that night.
And once again, I found myself staring at the ceiling unable to sleep properly.
---
Sometimes I wondered if he would even recognize me now.
After all these years.
After all the changes.
School version of me and current me felt completely different now.
Back then, I was just a shy girl silently admiring someone from distance.
But now…
I was becoming stronger.
More mature.
More independent.
Still emotional.
Still soft-hearted.
But stronger.
---
Days continued passing like this.
And then one day, something unexpected happened during practical class.
Our professor had divided us into smaller groups for some work, and the entire lab area was crowded with students moving around.
Files.
Charts.
Voices everywhere.
Complete chaos.
I was busy arranging my things when suddenly someone from behind called out a name.
Not my name.
But his.
The same name connected to my past.
Immediately my hands stopped moving.
For a second, I genuinely thought maybe my mind was imagining things again.
But then I heard it once more.
Clear this time.
And without even realizing, I slowly turned around.
My heartbeat increasing with every second.
And somewhere inside me…
a strange feeling whispered—
Maybe this wasn't a coincidence anymore. 💫