CONFRONTATION IN THE GARDEN
JANELLE POINT OF VIEW
I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Adrian's face in the great hall, the moment his mask had slipped and I'd glimpsed the real him underneath. The way he'd said "enough" with such quiet authority that an entire room full of nobles had fallen silent.
And then the way he'd dismissed me, like I was nothing more than a clumsy servant who'd embarrassed him.
I sat up in bed, frustration burning in my chest like acid. Three hours had passed since the feast ended, and I was no closer to understanding him than I'd been before. The confusion was eating me alive.
He defended me. Then he humiliated me. He saved me from the bear trap. Then he rejected our bond. He caught me when I fell. Then he told me he wouldn't always be there.
What kind of game was he playing?
I threw off my thin blanket and pulled on my cloak. I couldn't lie here anymore, going in circles, trying to make sense of a man who seemed determined to contradict himself at every turn.
The castle was quiet as I slipped through the corridors. Most of the servants were asleep, and the nobles were probably still drinking and celebrating in their chambers. I made my way to the royal garden, hoping the night air would clear my head.
The garden was beautiful in the moonlight. White roses glowed like ghosts among the dark hedges, and the fountain in the center sparkled with reflected starlight. I'd always found peace here during my off hours, sitting on the stone benches and pretending I was somewhere else.
I was walking toward my favorite bench when I saw him.
Adrian stood by the fountain, his hands braced against the stone edge. He'd changed out of his formal dinner clothes into a simple white shirt and dark pants. His head was bowed, his shoulders tense with some inner struggle.
I should have turned around. Should have left him to whatever demons he was fighting and gone back to my room. But the sight of him, alone and seemingly vulnerable, stirred something reckless in my chest.
All the confusion, all the hurt, all the questions I'd been carrying for months, they rose up inside me like a flood.
I stepped into the clearing.
"Running away again?" I called out.
Adrian's head snapped up, his green eyes finding mine across the garden. For a moment, surprise flickered across his face. Then his expression hardened into the familiar mask of cold indifference.
"You shouldn't be here," he said.
"Why?" I stepped closer, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. "Afraid someone might see the great Prince Adrian speaking to a lowly maid? Afraid they might realize you actually defended me tonight?"
His jaw tightened. "Go back to your room, Janelle."
"No." The word came out sharper than I'd intended. "I'm tired of running. Tired of pretending. Tired of your games."
"Games?" Adrian straightened, his voice turning dangerous. "What games?"
"This!" I gestured between us. "Whatever this is! You save me, then reject me. You defend me, then dismiss me. You look at me like I matter, then treat me like I'm dirt under your boots."
Adrian took a step back, but I followed him. The anger that had been building for months was finally spilling over, and I couldn't stop it if I tried.
"You want to know what I think?" I continued, my voice growing stronger. "I think you're a coward."
The word hung in the air between us like a blade. Adrian went very still.
"I think you feel the mate bond just as much as I do," I pressed on. "I think it terrifies you because it means you can't control everything. Can't choose who you're meant to be with based on politics or bloodlines or whatever else matters to precious royalty."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Adrian said, but his voice lacked its usual conviction.
"Don't I?" I stepped even closer, close enough that I could see the pulse jumping in his throat. "Then explain tonight. Explain why you couldn't stand to hear them laughing at me. Explain why you silenced an entire room of nobles with one word."
"They were being cruel.."
"They've been cruel to servants before. You never stopped them then." My heart was pounding, but I pressed on. "You stopped them because it was me. Because somewhere under all that ice, you actually give a damn about what happens to me."
Adrian's composure was starting to crack. I could see it in the way his hands clenched at his sides, the way his breathing had grown shallow.
"But instead of admitting it," I continued relentlessly, "you hide behind cruelty. You reject what could be the most powerful bond in our world because you're too weak to fight for it."
"Weak?" The word exploded from him like a gunshot. In one fluid movement, he closed the distance between us, his hand wrapping around my wrist with enough force to make me gasp. "You think I'm weak?"
His grip was too tight, bordering on painful, but I didn't try to pull away. This close, I could see the storm raging in his green eyes. The careful control he always maintained was finally slipping.
"Yes," I whispered, refusing to back down even though my wrist was throbbing. "I think you're terrified of what you feel, so you lash out instead of dealing with it."
Adrian's other hand came up to grip my shoulder, and suddenly I was pressed against him, our bodies barely an inch apart. His scent surrounded me, pine and leather and something uniquely him that made the mate bond sing with desperate recognition.
"You think I don't feel it?" His voice was low and raw, filled with a pain that made my chest ache. "You think I don't know what you are to me?"
I stared up at him, shocked by the anguish in his voice. This wasn't the cold, controlled prince I knew. This was someone barely holding himself together.
"Every time I see you," he continued, his grip tightening on my wrist, "it burns me alive. Every time you're near, every time you look at me with those eyes, it takes everything I have not to claim you right there in front of everyone."
My breath caught in my throat. "Then why.."
"Because I can't!" The words tore from him like they were being ripped from his very soul. "Because you don't understand what you're asking. What it would mean. What it would cost."
"I don't care about the cost," I said fiercely.
"You should." His thumb brushed over my pulse point, and I shivered at the contact. "Because the cost would be your life."
Before I could ask what he meant, before I could demand answers, Adrian seemed to realize what he was doing. He looked down at his hands on me and horror flashed across his face.
"No," he whispered.
Then he shoved me away so suddenly that I stumbled backward, my injured leg nearly giving out beneath me. The loss of his touch left me cold and aching.
"Stay away from me," he said harshly, but I could hear the tremor in his voice. "Stay away, or I swear I'll destroy us both."
He turned and strode away, his footsteps echoing off the garden walls. Within moments, he had disappeared into the shadows, leaving me alone by the fountain.
I stood there shaking, my wrist still throbbing where he'd gripped it. But the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional whirlwind in my chest.
He felt it. He felt the bond as strongly as I did – maybe even stronger. The way he'd looked at me, the raw pain in his voice when he'd said "it burns me alive" there had been no pretense there. No masks or games or careful control.
But he was still fighting it. Still pushing me away.
"The cost would be your life," he'd said.
What did that mean? What could be so terrible that accepting our mate bond would put me in danger?
I sank down onto the stone bench, my legs suddenly too weak to hold me. For months, I'd believed that Adrian rejected me out of pride or duty or simple cruelty. But tonight had shown me the truth.
He wasn't rejecting the bond because he didn't feel it. He was rejecting it because he felt it too much. And for some reason I didn't understand, he believed that accepting it would cost me my life.
The mate bond pulsed in my chest, stronger now than ever before. Because I had seen past his walls tonight. I had seen the real Adrian, not the cold prince, but the man who was tearing himself apart trying to protect me from something I didn't even understand.
He was in pain. Just as much pain as I was, maybe more. The rejection was torturing him, burning him alive from the inside, but he was enduring it because he thought it was the only way to keep me safe.
For the first time since that horrible night when he'd rejected me, I finally understood. Adrian didn't hate me. The rejection bond tormented him as much as it did me.