"I don't want to go anywhere…"
My voice was small, a fragile thread of sound that seemed to tremble in the air. I was only three years old—a child born under a shadow of weakness, a girl who lived in the narrow space between fear and exhaustion.
Every noise in this vast, cold palace felt like a physical blow. Even the soft, rhythmic footsteps of the maids across the polished floors made my entire body stiffen, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird.
They tried to come closer, their hands outstretched as if to touch a porcelain doll they feared might already be cracked.
I pulled back, pressing my spine against the velvet headboard. No… I don't like it.
I didn't like the way they looked at me with pity. I didn't like the way the air felt crowded when they surrounded me. I didn't like anyone coming near me.
Anyone… except one.
"Princess, come. Let's see how beautiful you look today."
It was my nanny. The only anchor I had in this terrifying world. She had been there since my first breath, the only one who didn't look at me like I was a broken thing. Her voice was a melody of safety—soft, warm, and steady.
She gently lifted me, her movements practiced and kind, and sat me down in front of a large, ornate mirror. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. I hated mirrors. I didn't like seeing the pale, sickly girl who looked back at me. But as I felt her hands begin to work, I peeked.
I could see her in the reflection, standing behind me like a guardian. As long as she was there, the world couldn't hurt me. She dressed me with slow, rhythmic care, smoothing out the silk of my dress and adjusting the lace at my collar.
"Tell me, Princess… do you like this?"
Her voice carried the ghost of a smile. I hesitated, my gaze flickering toward the glass. At first, I only meant to glance at the fabric—but then, my eyes locked onto my own reflection.
For the first time, I really saw myself.
The silver hair, the eyes that looked like frozen amethysts. Something felt… wrong. A strange, jarring dissonance vibrated in my skull. The world began to tilt.
The gold-leafed frame of the mirror seemed to stretch and warp. My vision blurred into a chaotic smear of colors, and before I could even cry out for help—everything went black.
(Flashback)
The smell of petrichor filled the air.
We were walking home from school, the sidewalk cracked and familiar under our shoes.
Me and yuki. The evening sky was bruised with dark clouds, a heavy curtain of grey that promised a summer storm. The wind was cool, whipping our hair across our faces. It felt peaceful. It felt like a normal Tuesday.
"Hey, yuki," I said, kicking a small stone and watching it skitter across the asphalt. "Wouldn't it be fun if we got reincarnated into another world someday? Like in those webtoons we read?"
She laughed immediately, a bright, sharp sound. "Yeah—but I'd be way stronger than you. I'd have the cool powers."
I snorted, bumping my shoulder against hers. "Stop dreaming. That's never going to happen, and even if it does, you're not beating me. I've got better instincts."
She crossed her arms dramatically, tilting her head back to the clouds. "Dreams should always be seen—day or night. If I get a second shot, I'm becoming a villainess. Someone who takes what she wants. What about you?"
I didn't even have to think. "I'd become the strongest character. The kind of person no one can look down on." I smiled, a bit of fire in my chest. "But I wouldn't be the kind who hides it in the shadows… I'd show it off. I'd make sure everyone knew exactly who they were dealing with."
Yuki stared at me for a second, her eyes softening, then she burst out laughing. "See? Now you're dreaming too!"
We both started laughing, the sound echoing off the quiet suburban houses. It was simple. It was normal. It was the last happy moment of my life.
The sound came first. A loud, screeching horn.
It was too loud. Too sudden. It felt like it was vibrating inside my teeth. Before we could even turn our heads, a wall of metal and blinding light rushed toward us.
Everything happened in a heartbeat. The impact. The terrifying sensation of weightlessness as we were thrown through the air.
Pain flared, then went numb. Shock took over. But even as my body failed me, I didn't let go. I reached out through the haze, grabbing yuki's hand and squeezing it with every ounce of strength I had left.
Darkness began to close in at the edges of my vision, cold and final.
"Hey… what just happened…?" my voice felt like it was coming from miles away. I couldn't feel the ground anymore. "If… if we really get another life… I hope… we can meet again…"
And then, the world went silent.
(Present)
My eyes snapped open.
The ceiling above me was painted with intricate frescoes of angels and clouds. Slowly, the fog in my mind cleared, and the two lives—the student on the street and the princess in the palace—collided.
The memories. The accident. The truth.
"I actually got reincarnated… yeahhhh—!"
The shout ripped out of my throat, loud and vibrant, fueled by the sheer absurdity of it all.
The room fell into a deathly silence. I froze, my mouth still slightly open. The maids were staring at me, their faces masks of pure horror. My nanny stood frozen with a washcloth in her hand, looking like she'd seen a ghost.
(Inner thought)
Oh no… oh no, no, no. I'm supposed to be the quiet, sickly, scared-of-her-own-shadow princess. And I just screamed like a lunatic who just won the lottery. Great job, Nikita. Way to be subtle.
The door to the infirmary burst open. Because I had fainted, the news had traveled fast. A woman rushed in, her silk skirts hissing against the floor.
My mother.
She walked toward me with a frantic energy, her expression etched with deep, agonizing worry. Her presence was overwhelming—strong, regal, and breathtakingly beautiful. I looked at her properly for the first time, free from the haze of my previous "fear."
She was stunning. Her grace was effortless, her features perfect.
She's… my mother? I thought, dazed. Was I seriously scared of her? Was I stupid or what? She looks like she is a angel.
This was Celestine Valencrest. The Duchess.
"Oh, my little daughter… how did you faint like this? I was so worried about you…" Her voice trembled, her hands shaking as she reached for me.
In my "old" life as the princess, I would have shrunk away. I would have stayed silent and let the fear swallow me. But I wasn't just that girl anymore.
"I'm sorry for worrying you… but now I'm fine," I said, my voice steady and clear.
The moment the words left my lips, the room went silent again. The maids gasped. My mother's eyes, once sharp with panic, filled with sudden, overflowing tears. She didn't hesitate; she pulled me into a hug so tight it nearly took my breath away.
"Auri… you're the most precious thing to me…"
Her arms were warm. They didn't feel like a cage; they felt like a fortress. They were real. I hesitated for a fraction of a second, my heart racing, then I buried my face in her shoulder.
"I love you… Mother."
The words felt a little strange, a bit heavy on a three-year-old's tongue, but I didn't take them back. I felt her heart skip a beat against mine.
She held me even tighter, her voice breaking into a sob. "I love you, Auri… I love you… I love you so much…"
She didn't let go for a long time. It was as if she was memorizing the fact that I could speak, that I could love her back. Eventually, she pulled away, wiping her eyes and smoothing my hair.
"My sweet Auri… I have to go now, there are matters I must attend to. But you should rest, okay? Promise me?"
"Okay… Mother."
She paused at the edge of the bed, a hopeful, tentative look crossing her face. Then she whispered, "Call me Mom."
I blinked, the modern word sent a spark of warmth through me. I smiled, a real, genuine smile that reached my eyes.
"O-okay… Mo… Mom."
Her face lit up instantly. She looked truly happy, a radiant glow replacing the exhaustion she usually carried. With one last squeeze of my hand, she left the room.
My nanny stepped closer, her eyes wide with wonder. "Are you alright, Princess? You're acting… different. But seeing you smile like this?
It makes my heart full."
I looked at her, my mind clear and my fear gone. "I'm fine now. I wasn't before… but I am now. I promise."
She nodded, her shoulders dropping in relief. "I'm glad. You should rest for a while. The shock of fainting must have been a lot."
"Okaaay…"
I laid back against the pillows as she dimmed the lights and slipped out. The room became quiet, but it wasn't the scary quiet from before. I stared up at the elaborate carvings on the ceiling, my thoughts drifting back to a rain-scented street and a girl with a loud laugh.
"yuki…" I whispered to the empty room. "Did you get reincarnated too? Are you out there somewhere?"
Silence was my only answer.
"If you did…" I felt a single, warm tear slip from the corner of my eye. "I promise… I'll find you. No matter what world this is."
The exhaustion of my small, weak body finally caught up with me. My eyelids grew heavy. No matter what memories I held, or how strong my soul felt—I was still just a child, and the journey had only just begun.