"He is the new transfer." The teacher announced it before he started writing equations on the board the next second. I was much smaller than I remember, maybe it is the past.
I was in front of the class, a new place and my guide had left me the moment he introduced me here. The first benchers were looking at the clock, waiting for recess to hit. The second benchers were talking with each other, not about me, because why would they? The last benchers were scribbling yesterday's homework on their notebooks.
I sat in the middle row, near the window. My benchmate was a guy with a hoodie and earphones on. He didn't ask my name, actually neither did the teacher announce it, and nobody even questioned it. "Um," I gritted my teeth, but nothing came out of it except for a weird sound. "What is your name?"
He didn't reply, and he had the choice to not reply too. Like, what could I have even done?
*I guess I'll be transparent to them for a while.* The school rang. Everyone started packing their bags, but only some left the second they did, because most of them talked in the final hours.
I was also there, chewing my tongue, but I didn't use it. 40 seconds passed. *I wonder what is for dinner today.* I left the classroom.
Outside in the streets, almost everyone had someone besides them. "Hey kid, are you alone?" A shopkeeper said that to me. His shop had many pastries in them, some of them looked appetising enough, but he was still a stranger to me.
I looked somewhere, just anywhere except towards him. "Oh, don't get the wrong idea! I'm not like that." He immediately stopped looking at me. I went near his shop. "Can I get a pastry?"
"For free if you want!" He handed me a strawberry pastry. "Take this as an apology... for that weird behaviour of mine."
"No- I..." I was too weak socially to even talk. I shouldn't even have opened my mouth to begin with. I just took the pastry, the only polite thing I could've done and went towards home.
"Have a nice Friday- Oh, I mean Frinight!" I should've smiled at his pun but I didn't.
* * *
It was 4:00 PM on Friday night. The same day I met that weird bakery guy. Cold cut through my skin, no warmth of the blanket. This wasn't the time to sleep... for me. Behind me was my mother, a phone in her hand. She was sitting on the bed. She was tightly gripping the phone as if it was the only hope she had. In front of me was my father. Outside the room. Yet, his presence was not small. It was visible, more visible than it should've been, because there was no other presence except for mine, my mother, and his.
*TICK*
The clock was unarmed, unharmed, and unbothered.
"Come here!" my mother shouted.
I looked behind towards the room, and tried to take a step.
"Don't go near that witch!" Nerves had started to appear in my father's head.
I looked in front before even positioning my body. Pain was in my neck. I knew pain was there, but I didn't feel it.
"Are you serious?!" Tears appeared in my mother's eyes.
I looked behind. Biting my own tongue. A tear also dropped from my eyes from the pain of the bite.
I looked in front, and facepalmed right there. Sweat came on my face, not generated directly on my face but through my hands. My hands had gotten sweaty before my face could. *I-... I want nothing. Get everything out of here...*
But then, a soft voice came from my father's mouth. "Go to sleep..."
It wasn't a shout. I tried to gulp my saliva, but I couldn't do it. Every direction I looked at was sealed, only walls. The one escape was going towards my father.
*TICK*
At that moment, I stopped there but the clock did not. Something else might also not.
My sister came out of her room very fast and suddenly. Face covered with her own long hair. She grabbed my hand, it felt itchy, took me to her room, and slammed the door. I sat in front of the door, she sat besides me, and the black rabbit doll sat in front of us.
White concrete walls everywhere, and the black rabbit doll looked like the only thing visible in that white room. The room smelt of alcohol.
There was a blue bed, just no one on it. Not me, not her, nor him. There was also a family photo beside it of me, my sister, my father, and my mother.
My sister stood up, took a towel, and started sipping my face. She muttered something. "Be ready... for school... tomorrow." The black rabbit doll's stare had more sound than her voice.
"I- I don't want to-" I looked at the black rabbit doll, and it looked back at me.
"Fine..." she pulled me closer to her. "Tomorrow... Sunday... would be a better day, I promise." She looked behind at the black rabbit doll. "You... will also promise, right." And then looked at me. "Say promise to him too."
Tomorrow, Sunday, she promised. I looked at the black rabbit doll. "Do not forget about it, the promise."
* * *
Today was Monday, and the class gave me attention. A lot of attention.
"Hey, did you know that something happened to him on Friday?"
"What is it?"
"I heard it was a very catastrophic event, like a family conflict, and the school premises aren't allowed to leak it?"
"Damn, his social life is kind of ruined now."
"Look, I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I like my odds better staying a bit away from him rather than close."
*How did the school premises still manage to leak that much information?* I tapped my pen, and looked outside the window. *Why am I looking at nothing?*
*TICK*
The school bell rang. Everyone, as always, packed their bags, and went outside with their friends. I didn't though... yet.
I took a pen and made paintings on the walls, put some stickers, and paper balls under the desk. Everything became messy, just like my life, and then only I went outside the class.
At the school gate, there was... my sister. Just standing there, hands behind her back, leaning against the wall, and eyes looking at the ground. No smile, no furrow, no gritted teeth.
"So... I wanted to... say something important..."
I waited there for a second. "We talk once we get home." I just looked down, walking without saying anything else after that. She followed me.
We went near the same baker uncle's shop. "Oh, who is she, kid?" His smile... never got old. "One strawberry pastry," I said. After handing my sister the pastry I asked. "So... what were you saying?"
She took a bite out of the pastry, and looked at me. "Your bag... looks a bit... emptier than unusual."
"Oh, no need to worry, I just forgot a useless notebook with no pages in my school." I calmly walked. "So, what were you about to say again?"
* * *
"Say ahh," a maid lifted up the spoon towards me. She had brown hair, yellow eyes, and white gloves. What was her name again? She fed me. The house which I was living in was the government's state property, and this was the living room with a garden in front of it.
My sister was there too. Outside the room, looking through the door. She had held the black rabbit doll with her one hand.
"Call on this number if you ever need me," she handed me a piece of paper before leaving the house.
My sister and the doll came to the room. She gritted her teeth. "Do you think she feels sympathy towards you?"
"I mean... She probably didn't even empathise with me to begin with, so... She is just acting on orders." As I laid down, the green carpet on the floor felt uncomfortable as if itchy.
"Do you want to be like her?" She looked into my eyes, and the black rabbit doll looked into my eyes. "She clearly isn't free from life, is she?"
I froze there, not opening my mouth.
"Please, just be independent." As she closed her eyes, I immediately leaned a bit farther. "Wait... did you just-"
She carried the doll, slowly stepping back away. Those slow steps accelerated as far as she moved. A hint of blush, downward gaze, but no sign of smile. She slammed the door.
I was left alone in the room now, silence surrounded me for a short period of time. "Let's... leave this house... someday." A voice came through the door by her, and that felt more normal than before.
I stood up, and got out of the room, going straight towards the telephone. My sister was on the stairs with the doll, watching me from above. She watched me. He watched me. No expressions on their face.
I dialled a number.
*TICK*
The clock spoke faster than the human.
"Hello-"
I cut it at the last moment, and just sat there, facepaming. A sigh came out of me.
"Fine, let's leave this house someday, maybe the upcoming Sunday."
* * *