(Katheryne's Tip: Adventurers, feel free to check your brains at the door~)
(Spy-Ok Katheryne. Do I get primos? The Skirk banner is destroying me 😭)
-
Lu Qiuyun was dead. The cause could be summed up in three parts.
Overtime, going home, and... Truck-kun's here~ Get it?
Staring at the flashbacks of her life flickering before her, Lu Qiuyun's jaw dropped wide enough to swallow a basketball.
She recalled being a model citizen—despite the smoking, drinking, and permed hair.
She liked to buy lottery tickets in her spare time, fantasizing about hitting the jackpot, reaching the pinnacle of life, and keeping a handsome, rich, and tall man as her sugar baby.
Even though every ticket just said, "Thanks for playing."
But surely her luck wasn't so bad that she'd get obliterated by a truck!
Lu Qiuyun: "凸(艹皿艹 )!" (Flipping the bird)
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She instinctively reached out, grabbed the Little White Orb materialized by the System, and slammed it onto the ground.
The satisfyingly tactile System bounced a few meters away before cheerfully rolling back to her feet.
[Host, calm down. Not everyone gets to experience the joy of transmigration.]
"Heh. Why don't you try experiencing the agony of being smashed to pieces?"
[Ehe~ I think I'll pass.]
The System's punchable voice inexplicably reminded Lu Qiuyun of a game she loved in her past life.
Too bad she'd never get to speed-log in and out again.
She still had a full six months of Monthly Pass rewards left to claim!
At that thought, Lu Qiuyun lunged down again.
This time, however, the System anticipated her move. It bounced up with a springy boing and hovered right in front of her face.
-
After several failed attempts to grab the System, Lu Qiuyun reluctantly gave up.
She swiped away the life-review montage the System was playing and stared up at the sky—the ethereal void of the System Space—with a dead-inside expression.
"So, this 'revival' you mentioned isn't free, is it?"
[Correct. The Host must provide the System with a sufficient amount of "Emotion Points" to be revived.]
Seeing that its Host had finally accepted the reality of her death and was ready to get down to business, the System was moved beyond words and eagerly replied.
"Oh? Interesting. How do I get these Emotion Points?"
Lu Qiuyun's interest was piqued. She crossed her arms, propped her chin on her hand, and inquired.
In her past life, she wasn't just a top player in a certain Hoyo game; she was also an avid novel reader.
When it came to transmigration tropes, she knew them inside and out.
[The method is simple. The Host can select a world to travel to and create personas by consuming Emotion Points!]
As the System spoke, the Little White Orb projected a screen.
It displayed a demonstration of persona creation.
To describe it abstractly, it looked like a mother hen laying eggs.
"So, I split my soul, integrate it into new bodies, and become a native of that world to earn Emotion Points?"
"Interesting!"
The screen displayed a man being split into three copies and sent to the Three Kingdoms era.
The three "hims" got into a shouting match with Zhuge Liang. In the end, all three avatars, along with the original body, were literally angered to death...
"Three cobblers are no match for one Zhuge Liang."
Grandma crawling into bed—that really cracked me up.
"Who was that guy?"
[Um...]
The System paused, debating whether to tell its new Host the truth.
If it said: That was the previous Host. He overestimated himself and got himself killed.
Not only would that be an insult to the Persona System, but it would also crush Lu Qiuyun's confidence.
After weighing the pros and cons, the System decided to tell a white lie.
[Just a demonstration NPC. Don't worry about it.]
Lu Qiuyun nodded, then shook her head, showing her confusion at the System's answer.
[Ahem! Back to the main topic. Host, you may choose one of the following four worlds to travel to.]
[Each world has a different difficulty level. You will receive a different amount of initial Emotion Points as starting capital.]
[1. Teyvat]
The grand prize right from the start?
The moment Lu Qiuyun heard those words, her eyes lit up.
As a Level 8 Noob, how could she not have fantasized about braving the world of Teyvat?
It was the dream of every adventurer—they just weren't as lucky as she was.
Lu Qiuyun immediately locked onto the option, but three seconds later, she abruptly took a step back.
Better play it safe and check the other worlds first.
This was about her resurrection, after all. What if the later worlds were even easier?
Seeing Lu Qiuyun's "cautious" approach, the System secretly gave its Host a high score.
Looks like my luck isn't bad this time. I've picked a human with great ambition.
This is exactly the kind of Host worthy of my supreme self!
[2. Resident Evil]
The System glanced at the worlds popping up on the screen, then back at the "calm" Lu Qiuyun.
Excellent! This Host looks like a smart one!
At that thought, the System's voice inexplicably brightened.
[3. Crossed]
[4. Plague Inc.]
[Please select one of the above worlds to travel to... Host?]
Before it could finish, Lu Qiuyun decisively chose the first option.
Are you kidding me? Is there even a choice here?
Seriously, who in their right mind would pick anything other than the first one?
Unless you have a body like Superman's, the "safe" bet in those other worlds is a "Happy Ending"—right!
That's right—a happy ending in heaven!
And if your luck was even worse, you'd probably die the moment you landed!
One world had zombies, another had... intelligent zombies? And the last one was filled with who-knows-what kind of monsters and demons.
If Lu Qiuyun had hesitated for even a second, it would have been a sign of disrespect for her own life!
The option was locked in, and a massive gate radiating black energy rose from the ground.
Just as the System was about to say something, Lu Qiuyun leaped through without even blinking.
[Fine. I thought I had a master, but it turns out she's a coward.]
The System reluctantly accepted its loss and silently deleted the calculated outcomes for Lu Qiuyun entering the other three worlds.
In the distant Recycle Bin, three more crumpled paper balls were tossed into a trash can already overflowing with discarded projection screens.
Flickering images on the crumpled papers faintly showed Lu Qiuyun's expression of relief after narrowly escaping death.
-
"You're right, but Genshin Impact is..."
Can't remember the beginning, the middle doesn't matter, and who cares about the end.
As scenes of Teyvat drifted past her eyes, Lu Qiuyun felt as if she were back in front of her computer.
Back then, she had been experimenting with the "National" team composition, effortlessly crushing all the weekly bosses.
And now, in the blink of an eye, she was actually in this world!
Who wouldn't be thrilled?
"One question, though. Why am I floating in mid-air and transparent?"
Looking down at the land below, Lu Qiuyun tried to touch her own body.
Her arm passed through her torso at a bizarre angle and wrapped around from behind.
[That's what I didn't get to finish explaining. After transmigration, the Host exists as a spiritual entity within the System Space.]
[Unless you attach your consciousness to a persona, you cannot "descend" into this world.]
"Huh? So I don't actually have to worry about dying?"
[You could put it that way.]
Lu Qiuyun instantly regretted her decision.
The amount of Emotion Points you gain isn't just determined by the emotional fluctuations of others. It also gets a percentage boost based on the difficulty of the chosen world.
If I'd known I wouldn't have to face those terrifying threats myself, I would've just picked Plague Inc.!
"What a blunder!"
Lu Qiuyun pounded her chest. Even though she couldn't feel the impact, she still pretended to cough up blood dramatically.
[Initial Emotion Points have been deposited. Host, please use them wisely. The System will play dead if you encounter any difficulties.]
[Current Emotion Points: 10,000.]
Lu Qiuyun: "???"
Why does the System's message sound so... off?
Ah, whatever!
Staring at the four zeros on the display panel, Lu Qiuyun felt happier than she ever had receiving her year-end bonus back in her old life.
After a moment of thought, seven spheres of light flew out from her body.
As she invested Emotion Points into them, the seven spheres burst forth with distinct, brilliant glows.
"I choose you! Go, Pika— wait, no. Go, my personas!"
At Lu Qiuyun's command, the seven spheres of light each merged into one of the seven kingdoms.
Sensing the seven new connections within her, Lu Qiuyun smiled genuinely for the first time.
"By the way, System, how many Emotion Points do I need for resurrection?"
Staring at her Emotion Points, now reduced to zero, Lu Qiuyun felt a pang of regret.
This stuff should be easy to earn, right?
The Emotion Points needed for resurrection... probably... possibly... maybe... won't be too high... right?
[Replying to Host: One hundred billion.]
From that moment on, the smile vanished from Lu Qiuyun's lips.