Chapter 14 - Interlude - Don't Cry

"Mom bought ten apples at the market. She ate four in the morning and three at lunch. She didn't eat any for dinner. So, how many apples are left~?"

"𝘏𝘮𝘮𝘮𝘮~."

Hearing Papa's question, I held up my fingers. The number of apples was ten, just like my fingers, right? Since she ate four in the morning… hmm, how many do I have to fold down?

Watching me struggle, Papa gave a wry smile and offered a small hint.

"A hint: the number of remaining apples is the same as Eto's age this year. How old is Eto?"

Ah! I think I know! I shouted the answer with absolute confidence.

"Three thousand years old!"

"You're three!? Why do you already know the thousands place when I haven't even taught it to you yet!?"

I guess I was wrong. What a shame....

When I pouted, Papa laughed, seemingly unable to help himself, and stroked my head. I love the way his hand feels through my hair—it's so gentle. Feeling happy again, I lunged into his arms.

I love Papa. I love his face when he smiles kindly, his warm embrace, his voice, his scent, and his 'taste'—I love ev~erything about him.

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨.

"? Who is it?"

The doorbell rang. Papa started to get up. I wanted to stay in his arms a bit longer, so it was a pity. But since I'm a good daughter, I let go of his waist so he could greet the guest.

Papa walked cautiously toward the door and peered through the peephole.

"...!"

I felt him take a silent, sharp breath. He turned back to me and whispered urgently.

"Eto! Formation B!"

𝘗𝘰𝘯𝘨!

My ears perked up like a startled rabbit's as I jumped to my feet. Formation B. It's our house's emergency system for whenever a stranger visits.

I don't know why we have things like this. Papa says it's because there are many scary people in the world. Formation A is our normal state; Plan B is for me to hide.

Formation C is when Papa and I hide together—I like that one because I get to stick close to him. I hope the day comes when we have to do that one soon. The last one, Formation D, is an absolute retreat.

I once asked Papa if that meant jumping out the window like in the movies, but for some reason, his face went pale and he said no. He said it just involves using a rope tied firmly to the balcony railing to escape.

Anyway, I did as we practiced: I opened the closet door and hid myself among the blankets.

Still, I was curious about who was coming, so I didn't close the closet all the way and left a tiny crack to peek through. After confirming I was hidden, Papa took a deep breath and opened the front door, looking as composed as ever.

Standing on the other side of the door was a man in a white coat. Papa always gets tense inside whenever he sees people in those coats, especially when he's with me. I wonder why?

The man in the white coat looked to be about the same age as Papa. He had dark circles so deep it looked like he hadn't slept in days, and his eyes were even bloodshot. He looked incredibly tired, but even a child like me could tell he was trying his best not to show it.

Papa asked, "Can I help you?"

"Are you Mr. Koma Takaki?"

"Yes, I am."

"It's an honor to meet you. I am Shinichi Hashimoto, a Rank 2 Investigator from the Commission of Counter Ghoul (CCG). I am the successor to your father, Mr. Harima Takaki."

"My father's...? It's been a long time since I've been in contact with him. What business do you have with me?"

"...I am deeply sorry to have to bring you such unfortunate news."

𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩.

I saw Papa's shoulders tremble. Why is he doing that?

"Four days ago.... Senior Investigator Harima Takaki, who was participating in a major operation... was struck by a ghoul while trying to save me...."

The man named Shinichi Hashimoto contorted his face in agony. It looked as if every word he spoke was painful, yet he forced himself to continue because he felt he had to.

"...He was killed in the line of duty."

Killed in the line of duty? What does that mean? It sounds like a difficult word....

𝘉𝘈𝘕𝘎!!!

I jumped! It was so loud I almost made a sound. Papa had suddenly slammed his fist against the wall. Blood even started to drip from his trembling knuckles.

It looked so painful.

I wanted to run out right away, but we're never supposed to come out during Formation B until Papa says it's okay, so I held it in. I wonder what kind of face Papa is making right now? The man named Shinichi looked at Papa with eyes full of deep sorrow and bowed low.

"I am so sorry.... It is entirely my fault. Because of my lack of experience, I held Senior Investigator Takaki back. I take full responsibility for your father's death."

"...Raise your head."

Papa's voice came out. At first, it was so cracked I wondered if it was really his voice.

"He was a fool of a father who said he'd kill one more ghoul even in his dying breath.... In the end, he saved his subordinate... he went out doing something human for once. What is there to be sorry for...?"

"...I am so sorry."

Mr. Shinichi didn't raise his head for a long time after that. Papa stood there in a daze for a while before speaking again.

"Can I... ask one thing?"

"Yes. Anything."

"The man you saw... my father... what kind of person was he?"

Mr. Shinichi straightened his back, closed his eyes, and thought seriously before answering.

"No matter how ferocious the ghoul.... He was a merciful man who would try to capture them alive without killing them, giving them a chance to atone for their sins."

"...Is that so?"

Every time I hear Papa's trembling voice, my chest hurts for no reason. I don't know why. I just don't want to hear Papa's voice sound so shaky.

Mr. Shinichi left a few more words and, before leaving, handed over a paper envelope along with his business card.

『𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵』

What does that say? It's a shame I'm too young to read the kanji.

After Mr. Shinichi left, Papa tore open the envelope and unfolded the paper right there. Since the guest is gone, is it okay for me to come out? I cautiously called out to him.

"Papa...?"

"...."

There was no answer.

Papa just threw the paper aside and slumped down in the corner of the room. I hurried out from the blankets and ran to him.

"Papa? What's wrong?"

"...."

I couldn't see Papa's face because he was covering it with both hands. But I think I could tell how he was feeling.

"𝘚𝘰𝘣.... 𝘏𝘪𝘤...!"

I was shocked. It was the first time I had ever seen Papa cry. He was desperately trying to suppress his voice so it wouldn't leak out, but he couldn't hide the sorrow in his tone or the liquid dripping between his fingers.

Whenever I cried, Papa always comforted me. Now, I have to comfort Papa. But what can a small child like me do?

"...."

After thinking about it, I walked up to Papa and wrapped my arms around his head, hugging him tight. Papa's sobbing stopped for a moment, as if he were surprised.

"Don't cry."

"...."

𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳…!

Papa's desperately trembling hands reached out and wrapped around my back as I clung to him.

"𝘒𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘨𝘩...!! 𝘜𝘞𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘈!!!"

And then, he poured out all of his suppressed sorrow and wailed. I guess even I can't stop Papa's sadness. I started to feel like crying too, hating how small and helpless I was.

So, I cried with Papa. Papa held me for a long time, weeping without end.

I made sure to hide the paper Papa had read. Someday, when I become an adult who can read difficult words, I will read what is written on this paper. And I will find out what made Papa so sad, and then, I will truly comfort him.

「𝘛𝘰 𝘒𝘰𝘮𝘢 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘬𝘪,

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.

𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦.

𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺? 𝘔𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦, '𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳,' 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 '𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘩𝘢.'

𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯. 𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘧-𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳. 𝘚𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭... 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘦. 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦. 𝘚𝘰, 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘴? 𝘐 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.

...𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘗.𝘚.: 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥... 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘥?

—𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘬𝘪」