Ellie's version of a "chill night" is never actually chill. It's always something she bookmarked weeks ago and has been waiting for the right moment to drag me to. This time, it's a rooftop bar she found on TikTok, one of those places with soft lighting, overpriced drinks, and people who look photogenic.
I know all of this because she tells me while I'm still standing in my room, staring at my hoodie like it might suddenly come up with an excuse for me.
She's already ready when she knocks. Of course she is. Ellie doesn't do half-ready. She steps in like she owns the place, smelling expensive, curls pinned up just right, gold catching the light at her ears. She looks like she belongs in those videos she's always watching.
Then she looks at me in that slow judging way. The same way Mom does when we've clearly made a bad decision and she's deciding whether to say something or just let us learn the hard way.
"Wear something that isn't a cry for help," she says. "Your sister is taking you out for fun. Not to die."
"It might as well be the same thing," I mutter, not moving. "I don't want to go."
And I don't. Not really. Not when I already know who's going to be there. Just thinking about it makes my head throb. The noise, the pretending, not saying too much, it's exhausting before it even starts.
I don't trust myself around him to keep my mouth shut and my hands to myself.
The only reason I'm even considering this is Ellie. And if she's dragged me out here just to make things worse—
"You are going," she cuts in.
I open my mouth to argue.
She gives me that look.
That don't-even-try-it look. I hold her stare for a second, then sigh and reach for my jacket, dragging it on like it personally offended me.
"You are not Mom," I grumble as I brush past her.
She smacks the back of my head playfully. "And yet here I am, saving your social life."
*
By the time we get there, Dosu is already there.
The moment I step onto the rooftop, I see him, and something hot and familiar curls tight in my chest. Annoyance. Anger. Something worse underneath both of those.
I don't even know why I'm surprised. What did I expect, that he'd cancel? That he'd suddenly decide he didn't feel like showing up? That he'd do me a favor for once and disappear for a night.
Yeah. Right. I've known him long enough to know better. He lives for this, the crowds, music, attention. There's no way he'd skip out just because things between us are… whatever this is.
I grimace, scrubbing a hand over my face. I really need to stop letting my thoughts go there. It's not helping anything.
He's by the railing, drink in hand, looking out over the city like he belongs above it. Like he's waiting.
Which he is. I try not to pay attention to what he's wearing and I fail.
Black shirt, sleeves pushed just enough to show off his arms. Dark jeans. His blond hair is pushed back, messy in that way that definitely took effort. And then there's the bruise across his nose. The one I gave him. My bruise. I almost feel better seeing it. Almost. At least now he knows not to push me.
Ellie calls his name, and he turns and his eyes go straight to me. Not her. Me first. Then her.
Like he knew exactly where I'd be the second I stepped out.
Something in my chest shifts uncomfortably and I don't know what to do with it. So I don't. I look away first.
I walk past them, pull out a chair, and drop into it, leaning back to show I'm bored, and I'd rather be anywhere else.
Ellie walks straight up to him and kisses him on the lips.
But his jaw tightens, just a little. I don't even want to think about it.
Ellie either doesn't see the way I react… or she does and just decides it's not her problem tonight. With her, it could go either way.
"Okay," she says, dropping into the seat between us like she's hosting a show. "Isn't this nice? My brother and my boyfriend." She beams, looking from one of us to the other. "God, I know you guys would never let me, but I wish I could make a TikTok out of this."
Silence.
I could say no. I want to say no. But that would mean talking, and I'm not giving him that today. Not even my voice.
Ellie just grabs the menu like nothing's off. The first twenty minutes… they're fine. Or at least, not terrible. Which is close enough.
Ellie does all the work, carrying the conversation. She's always been like this, able to sit between two people who can't stand each other and somehow keep things calm.
She's been doing it since we were kids. Back when I'd fight with Mom, Ellie would just… exist between us. Talking to both sides, never pushing, or forcing anything. Just keeping the peace until things cooled down.
She's doing it now too.
Talking about some video she posted yesterday, how it did better than she expected. I nod when I'm supposed to. She shows me another girl dancing, says she's not even that good, and I nod again like I care. I don't.
I don't even look at him. We sit on either side of Ellie like strangers. Like there's nothing there. Like nothing ever happened.
For some minutes, it actually works. Then Ellie's phone rings. She checks it and makes a face I know too well.
"Mom," she says, already pushing her chair back. "If I don't pick up, she'll call nine more times and then drag Dad into it."
She stands, pointing at both of us without really looking at either. "Two minutes. Don't be weird."
"No punching, babe. I promise." Dosu taps his lips, like he's sealing them shut too.
She's gone before I can say anything. And just like that, it's quiet.I. stare at my drink, the taste already gone flat in my mouth..Okay..Two minutes. I can do two minutes.
I've done worse than sitting in silence with someone I hate. I do it in lectures all the time. This is nothing. He's just a guy in a chair. I'm just a guy in a chair. It doesn't have to mean anything.
"You look like you're doing math in your head."
I go still. He really wants to die, huh. I don't look at him. "Don't talk to me."
"We're at the same table."
I suck my teeth. "And yet."
He exhales through his nose. Not quite a laugh. Just something else.
"You know your sister planned this whole thing for you, right?" he says. "She was excited. You showing up and making it weird isn't really fair to her."
I turn to him. He's already looking at me, elbow on the table and a drink in hand. Completely relaxed, like nothing ever bothers him. The bruise on his nose stands out under the lights.
His eyes don't move from mine and I hate him.
"Don't," I say quietly, "talk to me about what's fair."
Something changes in his face. "I'm just saying—"
"I know what you're saying." I keep my voice down because the people at the next table just went quiet, and I don't want attention. "You're sitting there acting like you're the reasonable one. Like I'm the problem. Like you didn't—"
My voice catches, and I stop. My jaw tightens as I look back at my drink. What was I even about to say? I feel like getting up and running, just running until I disappear. My breathing gets fast, like even bringing it up will drag back a memory I'm trying to keep buried.
"Like I didn't what?" Dosu presses. His eyes are fixed on me. "You won't even say it."
"Forget it," I say, warning in my voice. My stomach twists with embarrassment.
"Elisha—"
"I said forget it."
He goes quiet, but I can feel him watching me. I always know when he is. I don't know when that started, or how to stop it. My whole left side feels aware of how close he is, and I hate it.
He sighs. "I don't know what you want me to do. You hit me first. You didn't even let me talk."
"Does she know?"
He frowns, then glances past me, probably checking for my sister. "Ellie? You want me to tell her? I don't mind, but I know you would."
"If you tell her, I'll kill you."
"I know," he says. "Then why—"
"Because I didn't expect to see you here." The words slip out before I can stop them. I want to snap at him, but I keep my tone calm and cold. I can't let my emotions take over.
My face tightens right away. I wish I could take it back, but it's already out there between us. "I didn't expect to walk in and see you in my sister's living room like—" I stop and take a breath. "It doesn't matter."
Dosu goes still, watching me. His thumb moves slowly along his glass, and I notice it even though I wish I didn't.
"You've been avoiding this for two months, Elisha," he says calmly. "Don't you think you're making it bigger than it was?"
Everything in me turns cold.
"Don't," I say quietly, serious this time. "How dare you? Don't sit there and—"
"I'm not. I'm just saying it's not something you should hate me for. It was mutual. I didn't force you. You make me feel like I did."
I push the memory out of my head before it can settle in. "You don't know what happened, so be quiet."
"I was there too."
"Then you know why I left." My voice cracks a little, and I hate that. I grab my drink just to keep my hands busy. "So don't act like I owe you an explanation. I don't owe you anything. If I don't want to talk to you after what happened, that's my choice."
He watches me for a long moment.
I look away, take a breath, and wait for Ellie to come back and break the silence. I just want to forget all of this.
"No." Dosu shakes his head, making me look at him. "You don't owe me an explanation, but you owe your sister a good evening. So either you stop treating me like this and we keep things neutral, or you tell her why you really hate me. I don't like hiding things from her."
He picks up his drink and looks away.
And somehow, that hurts more than anything else he's said.