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Chapter 17 - 17

Arjun: With time, maturity comes on its own. Earlier, I used to see myself as rejected in the expressions and gestures of others. Now, I look at people and preemptively exile myself from them.

Madhav Kaka: You can tell me your troubles without any hesitation, Arjun. During my time in prison, I have studied a great many books on law, spirituality, palmistry, dream interpretation, and Samudrik Shastra (the science of body features). I have always had a deep love for reading. That is why, even here in jail, I remain immersed in study and teaching.

I may not hold any formal degrees in these subjects, but I have gained considerable knowledge here and occasionally share it with the inmates. You could say that in this prison, I am the well-wisher of the prisoners and their motivational speaker.

Don't stare at me like that, Arjun. I am indeed your Madhav Kaka. Every now and then, the inspirational orator inside me surges forth. But to tell you the truth, it is far easier to inspire people outside. Here, prisoners are slow to trust anyone. They hesitate to share their sorrows with others. Still, my heart feels at home in this place.

For me, there isn't much left in the outside world anymore. This cell and its temporary residents have become my family. I have received immense love and affection here. My communication skills are quite effective—I can understand people's emotions and thoughts deeply and express them clearly.

My mind has settled here. Now, I don't even wish to leave.

Arjun: The mind is a strange thing, Kaka. It can settle anywhere if one truly wants it to. But when it grows restless, no amount of effort can make it stay. Kavya had stood by me even in the most adverse circumstances.

When she learned about the forced marriage, she was the one most deeply hurt. She had arrived home ready to fight with full fury, but the somber atmosphere of the house made her falter. Gradually, her anger melted into tears, flowing like rainwater after a storm, leaving the air cleansed and pure.

Just as raindrops wash away dust particles and pollutants from the atmosphere, improving the quality of the air, Kavya's anger and the bitterness in her heart vanished the moment she heard the entire truth.

"Relationships based on mere show are like mist," she would say. "The moment the harsh sun of trouble rises, they evaporate into thin air."Lovers' hearts often shatter at the slightest whisper, yet these two were exceptions to that rule. Their sensitivity had become synonymous with love itself, as if two souls were echoing the same emotion in different voices. The strings of their hearts were tied with such selfless hope that even distance only deepened their closeness.

Until Shreya entered their lives, their bond had been like a divine experience—transparent, peaceful, and complete. That relationship was not born of words but of silence; there were no claims, no expectations—only a pure sense of belonging that pulsed like faith.

Madhav Kaka: "Every relationship is built on trust, but it survives on understanding and mutual compromise."

Arjun: Yes, Kaka. These days I have been having the strangest dreams. Whenever I try to remember Kavya in solitude, in the dead silence of the night, Shreya bursts in. She smiles at me, then sticks her tongue out mockingly and walks away, as if she alone has rights over my emotions.

Believe me, Madhav Kaka, the more I try during the day to keep myself away from her, the more stubbornly she invades my dreams at night.There, I find myself completely under her spell, like a puppet that cannot even recognize its own strings. This constant war between my heart and my mind is tearing me apart from within.

My heart is drawn toward her, while my brain fears that very pull. What is happening to me? What sorcery am I getting entangled in?

I feel helpless, trapped in this conflict between heart and mind. What on earth is happening to me?

Madhav Kaka: "In life, everything—good or bad—happens for our growth."

Arjun drifted into his thoughts. Slowly, the month of October began, and the Sharad season arrived. Memories of Kavya started to blanket his mind. He would say to her, "You look so beautiful when you smile."

"When I see you smiling, it feels as if white Shefali flowers are gently falling in the early dawn of the Sharad season. Their petals, drenched in the morning dew, seem to hold the softness of your touch. When the first rays of the sun caress your face, it feels as though golden sunlight is blooming all around me. There is no doubt now—your very seriousness makes the Shefali flowers scatter on the earth, and every falling petal whispers to me those unfinished words you could never bring yourself to say."It is not just the words, but their enchanting fragrance that the breeze carries again and again, repeating your name.

These first blooms of the Harshringar in the Sharad season—I dedicate them all to you, Kavya."They bloom at dusk, spread their fragrance through the night, and by morning scatter on the ground like fallen leaves. Even scattered memories need the embrace of night to be gathered again. Memories require the gentlest tenderness, which the harshness of day keeps at bay; only at night do they return, carrying their delicate scent, and settle once more into my remembrance."

I try to remember Kavya, but the moment her image rises in my mind, Shreya appears and pushes her aside, bursting into laughter in my dreams. Amidst thousands of fragrant flowers, she enters my life like a small saffron-colored Harshringar bloom, wearing a tiny kesariya bindi. The subconscious mind does not distinguish between right and wrong. Perhaps it is not proper to think about her, but the heart knows no rules. In my subconscious, Shreya reigns freely, controlling me there, and I remain completely under her enchantment.

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